#mentalnoise
I’m not sad
at least I don’t think I am
but something in me feels… off
like a song playing in the wrong key
and I can’t find where it changed
I sit down
not because i’m tired
just because standing feels like too much to explain
my phone is there
my work is there
everything i’m supposed to care about is right there
but I just stare past it
like it belongs to someone else’s life
my mind is full
I think
but when I reach for a thought
there’s nothing i can hold
so what am I doing?
I don’t know
and that’s the worst part
because if something was wrong
at least I could point at it
name it
fight it
but this?
this has no face
it’s just me
sitting
existing
feeling like I missed a step somewhere
and now everything’s slightly out of sync
I tell myself to get up
“just move
just start
it’s not that hard”
but my body doesn’t listen
not because it can’t
just because it doesn’t want to
and I don’t even know why
and that scares me a little
not enough to panic
just enough to notice
like…
when did I stop understanding myself?
when did everything become something i have to push through
instead of something I just do?
so I stay there
a little too long
thinking
or trying to
or pretending to
while time keeps going
without asking me if i’m ready
and I know i’ll get up eventually
I always do
but right now
I’m just here
and somehow
that feels heavier
than it should
Mar 29
Mar 29, 2026 at 6:04 AM UTC