#mentalillnesses
Others judge me for being lazy when they cannot see the invisible walls created by my anxiety
I do not choose to panic every time I leave the solitude of my own room
I do not choose to shut down every time I make even the smallest mistake
I do not choose to put off taking care of my basic necessities until after the last second just so I can avoid talking to people
There are not enough words in the world to describe how much I wish I could leave the prison that my anxiety has created around me, but I seemed to have lost the key
Jun 26, 2022
Jun 26, 2022 at 10:22 PM UTC
jaiden ( jack in my other poem ) ~ you joked about suicide/ depression/ mental illnesses. little did you know i suffer from all of them.
my ***** donor ( dad ) ~ you were to blind to see that you were doing the wrong thing and hurting people while doing so. you're currently in jail,, *******
my aunt ~ your head is shoved to far up your own *** to understand that not everyone likes you and wants to hear what you have to say.
a few old friends ( eva ) ~ we just distanced ourselves from eachother,, nothing more nothing less.
( janell ) ~ you're the average popular girl that you'd see in movies. i dont surround myself with ***** who talk behind their friends backs. i cut you out of my life.
before i publish this for the world to see lemme say that 2017 was one of the best but worst years of my life.
on the good side,, i finally got the name "doormat" off of my forehead. shared so many laughs and made friends that i hope i keep forever.
on the bad side,, my depression and anxiety. my depression in itself was at the point where i honest to god didn't think i would make it. my anxiety was and still is so bad where im scared to leave home and actually communicate with people out of my friend group.
all in all,, 2017 was one of the biggest pain in the ***** yet. lets make the future better than the present.
Feb 10, 2018
Feb 10, 2018 at 5:37 AM UTC
Limbs like bricks;
Weight to heavy to carry,
Don't have the energy to drag them.
Not sleepy, but too tired to get out of bed.
Acting like a child; pretending to sleep,
Lying about having a cold,
But simply sick mentally,
That's not a good excuse, I know.
Never thinking enough,
Then thinking too much,
Repeat, repeat the process.
It'll pass sooner or later, probably later.
This burden is not only one person,
It's now infected the loved ones,
So apologizes come out for the burdensome ways.
Shall stay in bed today, shall wait for it to pass,
Missing another day, wasted away,
Oh well, it isn't missed anyways.
The numbness has sent in,
The burdensome ways already in control,
Will just wait it out, and wait for tomorrow.
Dec 8, 2017
Dec 8, 2017 at 9:18 PM UTC
The first tragedy of the season
slammed me into the ground
like a freight train.
The darkness captured me
into his hands
that smelled of stale cigarettes
and lips with the taste of whiskey.
Hard liquor captured into my lungs
clogging my words
into my throat.
Tar spewing out
of the cracks in the cement
grabbing my legs and sinking me into the ground.
Feb 22, 2016
Feb 22, 2016 at 10:48 AM UTC
All she wanted
was for someone to
long for her lips
like a nicotine addiction
to tell her that
her beauty was not
cordial enough
to plaster itself
on the outside of
her skin
but instead it
reserved itself
to be found within
to look her in
the face and
tell her that her
eyes held the
ocean's tranquility
before a hurricane
Because that's what
she was:
*A ******* hurricane*
-DDF
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 9, 2015 at 7:51 AM UTC
It’s suicide season
broken hearts
long lost minds
Fighting hard for this season to end
lost battles
blood red scars
knife-like words
blackened art
It’s suicide season
Little girl-
don’t give up this fight
it might be suicide season
but seasons have their time
Sep 21, 2015
Sep 21, 2015 at 12:15 AM UTC
I've become so custom to the side effects of depression, that they don't even seem abnormal anymore.
Never being able to sleep, but always being tired.
Oh that's no big deal, i'll just blame it on the coffee.
Not having enough energy to complete even the simplest of tasks.
But that's okay, you're just a lazy kid.
Constantly feeling like you're never good enough, that nobody even likes you or wants you around.
Oh stop it, don't be so clueless. That's just common teenage emotions.
Having to talk yourself into getting out of bed in the morning, because you would rather be dead than face the rest of the day.
Oh just get over yourself, you're being too dramatic, is what they'll say.
But little do they know, none of this is normal.
No one should have to wake up everyday, wishing that yesterday would've be their last.
How common do you think it is, to wish every single breath you take would be your last?
None of this is common, not in the slightest bit.
Can you please tell me why anyone would want to be like this?
People let you believe that depression is just a phase; something you can snap out of at any given day
But in reality, you can't; it is a life long disease that takes years to overcome.
And just like any disease, if it doesn't get treated, millions of people can, and will, die from it.
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 2:34 PM UTC
I don't understand how people treat depression like a joke.
It isn't funny.
It isn't something small that someone can just "get over".
Depression is a very serious and very real mental condition.
It isn't okay.
People who suffer from this condition aren't suffering for attention.
These people spend every day of their lives trying to overcome it.
Is it still funny?
They don't get the privileges other people get.
They wake up each morning wishing life would end.
Is it still okay?
When will humanity come into play so we can get some respect?
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 9:57 PM UTC
There comes a time
In everyday,
Where sense of reality
Withers away,
In hours or seconds-
Days or years,
Your soul will awaken,
Along with your tears.
Red as the roses
And weeping like willows,
The windows start crying
While your lungs start to billow.
But when this time comes,
And you cant get away,
Please stick around
For at least one more day.
I know things are hard,
But they will be okay,
Please let down your guard,
We will make it someday.
E.M Pearson
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 6:02 PM UTC