#mentalhealthawarness
" nothing heals the past like time, they cant steal the love your born to find."
life so challenging even when you think your doing okay but then it hits you, the feeling of being okay suddenly disappears. you haven't found peace within your demons you need to set yourself free in able to find peace within yourself.
I'm okay i am but some days are just too hard to deal with and to try and get up to do anything is a challenge, i want to be able to share my story i want to share what i went through and how i ended up with all these mental illnesses because i deserve to find THAT peace i know I'm missing inside,
what i do know at this time is that what happened was not my fault, to my younger self i know you blamed yourself for everything that happened because you did not have any support from everyone i know that you got blamed for what happened you got told maybe if you were not in a bad mood maybe things would of turned out better for you, to my younger self someone took your happy loving bubbly self at the age of 13 from then on you have struggled so much you have been through something no child should of ever been through i know for a fact you survived you survived the worst of things, im sorry. im 21 years old now and im still trying finding to find peace with everything that happened its a long recovery but i know that i am a fighter and i am strong i can get through this with or without the help of people, it's time to start fighting for my happiness instead of trying to stay silence to make other people happy, because for one i want to be selfish and i want to be happy for myself.
so here's my story and my road to recovery.
Jul 5, 2021
Jul 5, 2021 at 7:41 AM UTC
Sometimes they yell,
"WORTHLESS!"
And I listen,
Because
"Listening is the polite thing to do."
Feb 23, 2021
Feb 23, 2021 at 5:37 PM UTC
Breath in the trepidation
Sit on the couch with your contemplation
Light the cigarette
Instantly swim in regret
Inhale the poison that is killing you
Exhale the stress that overwhelms you
Get into an evil circle that you can’t escape
Piece yourself back together with tape
When you feel yourself fall apart
Just replace the part
By lighting another one
Like your you’re holding a gun
About to put it to your skull
All you have to do is just pull
But you don't do that yet
Your hands are wet with sweat
Something has you tied to this place
Someone keeps ahold of you like a brace
Keeps you from acting on impulse
Keeps you from your red avulse
Because no matter how far gone you become
No matter how much you feel dumb
Someone, somewhere will love you
They will give you something new
Something that gives you meaning
Something that takes the sadness in a cleaning
So you can wake up and smell the morning air
Something that will make you care
That something is life
it gets rid of your strife
Because we all have rough patches
Like its the last of your matches
But its gets better
Like a sudden change in the weather
So this is from me to you
Even I may love all of you too
Sep 1, 2017
Sep 1, 2017 at 9:57 AM UTC
Just breathe inhale
And then exhale
I tell myself that often
When I start feeling that bottle soften
When I feel like some emotion may leak
Pouring out flowing down my cheek
Leaving a long wet trail
So I'll start to feel like a fail
That nothing is worth living for
Nothing left in the world to adore
Sometimes those leaks are red
Maybe that is enough said
But I crave a blade on me
I like to just watch and see
How much does it take
For me to be numb, how much does it take
So until the day it takes too much
Bleeding out and such
I'll keep writing these
Until my life comes to a cease
-CC
Aug 22, 2017
Aug 22, 2017 at 10:56 PM UTC