#mentaillness
It's some of the best advice,
when suicide seems best.
Borrow someone else,
a pet, an event.
I've been borrowing for such a long time...
Have you ever borrowed so much,
that you feel like a bad person for doing so?
I feel sick...
for my only reasons being borrowed.
I feel defective.
For being unable to gain reason of my own.
May 3
May 3, 2026 at 10:46 AM UTC
Breeze bellows,
leaves echo in
quivering psithurism,
dithering like
unbroken smoke,
this approaching omen goads.
Dozing crows
slumbering in rows,
droves of locusts'
silenced drone,
almost comatose in repose;
nighttime overtones
choir of toads'
raspy croaks
answered by alto
of crickets' orchestral strokes.
Gust encroaches;
robed boughs
cloven open,
bring into
scope and focus
me juxtaposed,
suspended apropos.
Although motionless
and petrified in stone,
provoked by zephyr
coaxing to and fro;
swaying pendulous
and no longer frozen,
locus gently thrown.
Death rattle moan
evoked from throat,
reflex can't say no
to rigor rigidly posed,
final sigh in silence,
awoken vocal,
expelled and disposed.
Smote by
morose emotion,
gun loaded then exploded
by neurosis,
now bloated
necrosis decomposes
into gross ochre.
This trophy
and this ode
both an opus to
my inability to cope;
romanced i proposed,
eloped and betrothed to
my own
inappropriate composure.
Pocket full of posies
plucked when luck bestowed
and tears in a cup, a toast;
crying copiously,
tempest runneth overflowed,
eyes swollen and soaked.
Dipped my toes
in the coast
of this ocean's
amorphous folds,
gripped by undertow
holding control of my soul;
swiftly shipwrecked in
shallow shoal,
an old atoll.
On sandy floor,
water burrows roads;
digging, carving, roams
through unmarrowed
silica and sandstone
eroding into a cove.
A host for
opal geode trove,
enclosing a
technicolor rose,
from the depths
a glowing mosaic shone
Unopened lotus floats
on foam
of lapping waves,
a boat;
prone to no
grandiose notion
or motive,
adrift as wind stokes.
I suppose
this only shows
the total corrosion
into which I dove,
the only foes to oppose
are those of burdens, so
only weightless can I atone-
I must let go.
Mar 11, 2024
Mar 11, 2024 at 11:02 AM UTC
The harshness of mental illness,
Who's the soul's hidden polisher,
And the soul's hidden nourisher,
Rewards with Faith and steadiness.
Dec 23, 2016
Dec 23, 2016 at 8:47 AM UTC
You ask me "What are those scars? The ones going up your arm?"
"Why would you even think of self harm?"
"Why do you hate your own name? Replace it with another?"
"Why did you push away your own lover?"
*"Why do you ***** after you eat? Why are you so obsessed with being perfect and 'neat'?"*
"Why do you cry for no reason at all? Why do you get so angry when there is no reason to be at all?"
"Why are you so afraid? Why do you stay in bed? Why are you the way you are? "
"I am sorry, was it something I said?"
You see your questions don't scare me, In fact they aren't the first,
Just know this-when you are in pain long enough, you find any way you can to rid away all that hurts.
❥
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 27, 2015 at 4:08 AM UTC