#mariaallyssa - Hello Poetry

oh honey, i'm having trouble breathing as the tears mix up with sweat and the ragged breaths won't rest i'm still trapped in this purgatory between forgiveness and regret or maybe just disgust and resentment when will this waiting ever end? it all started with a night of poetry and music between artists and lovers, making music and art like they do when making love speaking in tongues and lust even angst from their lungs but i was with him all through the night when i knew all i wanted was to be with you oh if you only knew this silence leaves me blue between lingering breaths and cigarette smoke i still yearn to be with you so maybe it was the excessive alcohol or ******** poetry or maybe the live music blended together in loneliness and yearning or is it the blank statement against the white wall? but this confusing as **** my thoughts were swimming in beer, nothing more and at the very back of it was you sleeping but subconscious tried to wake you up poke you with what ifs and what nots i pulled out my phone and let my loneliness overcome didn't know it was wrong like dominoes they all fall one by one realization built a spark as my conscious came apart tore my heart out the next day i used the aftermath's blood to write you an apology filled with regret and dismay 29 hours after i used my crafted letters to sincerly construct a sorry but you said to wait, until the demons go until you find yourself at peace whenever you look at me and i did. i did wait. amidst the confusion and regret, i'm still waiting for you to rip my walls down and envelop me in your arms but purgatory's version of a painful torture is in the mind games, after all setting up fires that can burn you alive keep in mind what my mother used to say about flames, "don't set yourself on fire to keep the others warm."

0

Jan 5, 2016

Jan 5, 2016 at 8:36 AM UTC

mariaallyssa

affliction

oh honey, i'm having trouble breathing as the tears mix up with sweat and the ragged breaths won't rest i'm still trapped in this purgatory between forgiveness and regret or maybe just disgust and resentment when will this waiting ever end? it all started with a night of poetry and music between artists and lovers, making music and art like they do when making love speaking in tongues and lust even angst from their lungs but i was with him all through the night when i knew all i wanted was to be with you oh if you only knew this silence leaves me blue between lingering breaths and cigarette smoke i still yearn to be with you so maybe it was the excessive alcohol or ******** poetry or maybe the live music blended together in loneliness and yearning or is it the blank statement against the white wall? but this confusing as **** my thoughts were swimming in beer, nothing more and at the very back of it was you sleeping but subconscious tried to wake you up poke you with what ifs and what nots i pulled out my phone and let my loneliness overcome didn't know it was wrong like dominoes they all fall one by one realization built a spark as my conscious came apart tore my heart out the next day i used the aftermath's blood to write you an apology filled with regret and dismay 29 hours after i used my crafted letters to sincerly construct a sorry but you said to wait, until the demons go until you find yourself at peace whenever you look at me and i did. i did wait. amidst the confusion and regret, i'm still waiting for you to rip my walls down and envelop me in your arms but purgatory's version of a painful torture is in the mind games, after all setting up fires that can burn you alive keep in mind what my mother used to say about flames, "don't set yourself on fire to keep the others warm."

82

i've always admired how a blank white wall looked back into my eyes how it reflects as pure, whole, pristine into my deep dark eyes how it pulls out another set of trigger into my soul about how it makes so much sense my mind is white blank plain dull until you set this explosion of colors with little time-bombs e v e r y w h e r e as if these hues represent the way we are, or more importantly, the way we're not how these reds that should indicate passion love lust *** impulse but they won't cover up the whites instead they wash away like water against these blank walls as if your love for me was never real anyway as if i was nothing to be lost to be thrown away as if the greens blues oranges can stay but you were yellow you covered up so much space so much time as if it symbolizes your impact on me how i cannot forget this rendezvous we have once or twice or just whenever you feel like how can you not forgive me? i never forgiven myself either.

0

Jan 2, 2016

Jan 2, 2016 at 12:49 PM UTC

mariaallyssa

white walls

i've always admired how a blank white wall looked back into my eyes how it reflects as pure, whole, pristine into my deep dark eyes how it pulls out another set of trigger into my soul about how it makes so much sense my mind is white blank plain dull until you set this explosion of colors with little time-bombs e v e r y w h e r e as if these hues represent the way we are, or more importantly, the way we're not how these reds that should indicate passion love lust *** impulse but they won't cover up the whites instead they wash away like water against these blank walls as if your love for me was never real anyway as if i was nothing to be lost to be thrown away as if the greens blues oranges can stay but you were yellow you covered up so much space so much time as if it symbolizes your impact on me how i cannot forget this rendezvous we have once or twice or just whenever you feel like how can you not forgive me? i never forgiven myself either.

59

1747H // 12.04.15 you were my favorite kind of 2am. your violent breaths smelled of cigarette smoke your slurred words spoke of theories in faith your deep set eyes swam in seas too blue you ****** me harder than *** ever did. you smothered me in your supernovas bathed me in your milky way shaped me in each galaxy fabricated me into your lunar eclipse outshining every evening drop i know your kind, darling. radiate. stagnate. soulmate. illuminate.

0

Dec 6, 2015

Dec 6, 2015 at 12:34 PM UTC

mariaallyssa

midnight monsters

1747H // 12.04.15 you were my favorite kind of 2am. your violent breaths smelled of cigarette smoke your slurred words spoke of theories in faith your deep set eyes swam in seas too blue you ****** me harder than *** ever did. you smothered me in your supernovas bathed me in your milky way shaped me in each galaxy fabricated me into your lunar eclipse outshining every evening drop i know your kind, darling. radiate. stagnate. soulmate. illuminate.

19