#malignancy
every day I had to dig through
deeply rooted malignancies
and clusters of phosphorescent
spider eggs and webs full of
dead flies draped throughout a
long-abandoned domain
once inhabited
by my mind
the roots pushed and
twisted their way through
thick walls of the
foundations and membranes
of spirit mind and body
where I didn't even know
how to feel all I knew is
that I had crossed unseen
no trespassing signs
in life among the living
I lived as though I were dead
In the midst of vast human
knowledge I held
vast emptiness instead
this lack of substance was
all that was left in my mind
I found myself trying to buy
back more of what I
had to
leave behind
my mind and spirit were in
lockdown in this death I
began to die when I flew
high I felt let down
in the truth I saw a lie
the dawn of each new day
filled the sky with hues of a
darker light since all of
the windows were barred
and boarded-up
the only way I could see
glimpses of a brighter
light or others living life
were through any thin
little cracks I could find
like an addict trying to
avoid their addiction
each new day and every
waking hour I would find
myself learning what I was
losing my mind
trying to forget
I was so sick and tired of
d . . . always going down
o
w
n
truth only strengthened
this neurotic depression
but in the throes of pain and
breakdown I found hope in
a New Day
when I was lost
in the cycles of confusion
I at least found pieces of
peace and pieces of mind
along the way
when I die with the sun in
the midst of the evening
I now find enough faith
to believe I will
rise with it again
when I seem to have lost
all of my chances I clutch
desperately to any strand
of a chance to begin
saving what's left of my mind
buying what used to be mine.
Jan 28, 2025
Jan 28, 2025 at 7:56 AM UTC
It is rooted to my teeth
my stomach
my nostrils
my nasal cavities
It rustles when I breathe in
It begs for more when I bite
It screams when I swallow
I cannot be your choir boy
And I will not kiss you
not today
not tomorrow
not tonight
Dec 28, 2024
Dec 28, 2024 at 11:47 PM UTC