#maladaptivedaydream
I've always searched the stars
Wondered if there could be something there
for me.
Maybe a home? Maybe an origin?
Maybe even love.
They say we are all made of
stardust.
Then why is it so hard to get along?
How can beings with stars inside of them feel
hate?
So every night, I search the stars,
wondering if, somewhere, maybe, just maybe,
someone is out there,
searching the stars
just like me.
Longing for love.
Family.
A home that is not just a place, though that sounds nice too, but a
feeling, a
person.
Who loves me as fiercely as the sun loves the moon,
so much that we will make an
eclipse
together.
Are these things really written
in the stars?
Jan 4, 2025
Jan 4, 2025 at 11:34 AM UTC
I used to wonder what it was like to be
human.
Used to believe I was a monster simply because of what
I was.
Now I understand.
I choose to be a monster because
they
deserve
it.
I choose to **** to rip lives apart because of
what they did to mine.
Nothing will ever
be
the
same.
I am not a monster because I am
not
human.
I am not evil because I am
different,
foreign,
unknown.
I am not feared because of my name or my skin, but because of my
rage.
I keep my promises, always.
They deserve what is
coming.
They deserve to see the same destruction they sent
me
and my people.
They deserve to weep, kneeling on the
burnt floor
as they mourn those who were
stolen
from them
cruelly.
And, if I die in the process, then I will
finally reunite
with my family in
Caelum.
My revenge will be as
cruel
as the
names
I was called.
Jan 4, 2025
Jan 4, 2025 at 12:00 AM UTC
All of this can't be for nothing
We've worked too hard
Fought too hard
For it to be over
I have lost too much
I no longer know
who
I
am
They can't win
I made an oath of blood
and
I
will
keep
it.
He will die tonight
but not by my hand
like I wanted
I will be your sacrifice
It's the only way
I'm sorry love, but I have to do this
I was always doomed to go
up
in
flames
anyway
The whole world is collapsing
These shards of truth I've clung to
love
pierce my soul
Bloodred wings and gilded mask
Will mark my
last
flight
I launch myself into the sky above
shining brighter than the sun
eclipse
and all you can see is my supernova
bright and brilliant
burning
burning
burning
behind the mask, my face is expressionless
but a single tear slides down my face
as I hear the love of my life
scream
I am burning
quickly
steadily
Pain blinding
excruciating
lovely
I wonder what will happen
when it's all
over
Was I a savior after all?
or just a foolish boy disguised as a
hero
My painted feathers burn like candlesticks
But I can still go higher!
Burning
up
crying out
But as I fall
like a meteor
into the sea
A part of me remembers
who
I
am
Fulfilled
Triumphant
Loved
I will transcend to Caelum
as a warrior
Feb 6, 2025
Feb 6, 2025 at 10:32 PM UTC
What do I do now? I don't even want to think about it, think about
How my life is splitting apart at the seams and all of my panicked
Outcries are doing nothing to stop it.
Amazing, I think, that I've lasted as long as I have.
Maybe this is for the better?
I tell myself, but it tastes like a lie in my mouth.
If I cease to be Caligula, what do I have left
For myself. I am nothing, nothing!
Nobody truly understands that I am losing everything and am
Out of my mind with pain and fury. I can't stop
Thinking, why me? Why is it always me?
Can't I have good luck just one time? I'm not
Asking for much. I'm scared, no, terrified that my
Life is ending quicker than I ever anticipated. I wanted to die
Grandly, in a wild blaze of glory. Not with my whole life
Upturned, sinking slowly, suffering wildly,
Losing what I worked so hard to achieve,
And wishing I could go back and be great one more time.
Jan 4, 2025
Jan 4, 2025 at 10:36 PM UTC