#madnessmentalhealth
God she is so thin
Embraced her darkest sin
She's fading in perfection
And losing her perseption
God she is just skin
Tried to fight the demons from within
But eventually let them win
She's fading into darkness
Can't remember where her heart is
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 2:00 PM UTC
You branded me with love
Kissed me with poison between your lips
Looked at me with storms in your eyes
Baby you never loved me
You never did
You broke me down
I had to start from scratch
You branded me with love
Kissed me with poison between your lips
Looked at me with storms in your eyes
Baby you never loved me
And it ruined me
Nov 17, 2019
Nov 17, 2019 at 1:07 PM UTC
She's an unknown girl
Puts a smile on when she's ready
Walks past you fierce and steady
And you will never know what's going on
She's the one with broken limbs
Scratches and scars cover her skin
And she still remains an unknown girl
That's all she is to the world
Nov 14, 2019
Nov 14, 2019 at 10:44 AM UTC
You're the one I want to keep
And hold in my arms
For as long as the clock is ticking
Kissing the soft spot in your neck
Getting your scent all over me
The more I breathe it in, the more I long for you
And I am not one to write love poems
But you made me do it anyways
Nov 13, 2019
Nov 13, 2019 at 1:02 PM UTC
Disgustingly full of selfhatred
I once again push a knife to my skin
Red pearls fall to the ground
They are filled with rage and pain
I can't remember a time before my fall
They cut my wings with silver blades
They teached me how to do it
So now I'm pulling feathers out of my skin
And wish no more
Nov 6, 2019
Nov 6, 2019 at 1:12 PM UTC
I want to feel the poetry in my blood
I want to feel the words form a structure around my bones
Kindly reminding me of you in a way only words can do
I want to feel the explanation mark in my heart grow bigger as our lips converge
I want the commas to never end, and the periods to never emerge from the depths of my mind
We make poetry babe, you and I will forever remain alive in the words I have written
Because I love you as much as the words in my poems
And I will never let go of that feeling
Nov 6, 2019
Nov 6, 2019 at 11:48 AM UTC
I will show my teeth in full ornate
Trying to scare you away with this ****** mess of mine
The pile of bones I'm sitting on, my throne, is collapsing
All that's left is water to drown in
I'm not proud of the decision I made to scare you away
But I love you
And you'll break with me if I don't leave you behind
I'll see you in another life
And miss your lips before that time
Nov 3, 2019
Nov 3, 2019 at 2:44 PM UTC
Anxiety
It's there when I eat
And it's right next to me when I fall asleep
It's there when I'm walking
And it's leaning over my shoulders when I cry
I've learnt to live this way
The crippling fear of being alive has consumed me
It's always there
It graps me, pulls me in, leans over for a kiss, but puts a knife right through my back
I can still taste the fear on my lips as I go down on my knees
I never went this low to the ground
I feel dizzy as I try to pull myself up
But it keeps on pushing me back
I will never get up
Anxiety
Nov 3, 2019
Nov 3, 2019 at 1:22 PM UTC
Help, I've done it again
I've been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
Seeing the blood made me feel okay
I've been here many times before
This pitch black hole they call depression
It's a beast feasting on my innards
There's nothing left but pain
I can't breathe. The weight of being alive is pulling me under
I can't function without feeling the wall between me and my emotions
I just want to close my eyes to never wake up again
I'm done giving to a world so ****** up as this one
I'm done living in a society that tells me how to behave
I am so ******* tired
I want to die
No. I need to die
I don't have any purpose
I'm drowning, can't you see?
It's inhumane to keep me here
In a life that isn't made for me
Oct 8, 2019
Oct 8, 2019 at 7:34 AM UTC
I knew a girl full of joy and peace
Who one day fell down to her knees
And told me with a big ol smile
I'm gonna leave earth for a while
She grinned and looked into my eyes
And told me about all the lies
She had lost all of her sway and glow
And really felt the urge to go
I saw her hands behind her back
And my vision went to black
A mirror appeared into my sight
And blinded me with all the light
'I'm you' she whispered in my ear
Everything seemed to get so clear
I once knew a girl full of joy and peace
Who one day fell down to her knees
And took the pills like tic tac sweets
Appeared to her as a big treat
Because peace she found into the ground
And fear was way too far ahead
For her to catch up after death
So she enjoyed her angel wings
And forgot the painful things
Sep 9, 2019
Sep 9, 2019 at 11:33 AM UTC
I'm done
I'm done
I'm done
I'm done
I'm done
I'm done
I'm not sure
I'm done
I'm done
I'm done
I'm done
I'm in pain
I'm done.
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 7, 2019 at 6:50 AM UTC
The lights went off again
The room is completely dark now
I know the furniture is there, but I can't see it
What I do see is a flickering light, a settle reflection of a mirror
I can't see myself
Who even am I?
The lights turned off
The room is filled with black
I can see the shape of a doorknob
Gloomy light touches the surface and there goes my hand
The door is shut
No movement allowed
It was worth a try
I'll wait in the dark
Scratch the door untill my fingers bleed
I'll not rest until I get into the light
Or heaven I suppose
Sep 5, 2019
Sep 5, 2019 at 4:12 PM UTC
I'm scared that I'll **** up
I'm scared that people won't accept the real me, the person with scars and a history full of pain and abuse
I'm scared that I'll throw my life away by dreaming too much
And I'm scared that I'll not dream enough
I'm scared that i will forever be scared
Trapped in my anxiety and shame
I'm scared that I won't be enough
I'm scared to lose my family and friends
I'm scared to lose my mind
I'm so close to losing my mind
I'm scared that I'll cut too deep
And I'm scared that I'll never cut deep enough
I'm scared of living
I'm scared of myself
I'm scared
Sep 2, 2019
Sep 2, 2019 at 3:36 PM UTC
And baby she's so tired
So tired of holding the corners of her mouth
She's so tired of faking a smile
And baby she's so scared
So scared of all the people
Telling her she can't
And baby she's so angry
So angry at herself
The cuts never went deep enough
And baby she's so done
So done with life
It never was good to her
Aug 29, 2019
Aug 29, 2019 at 7:49 AM UTC
I need something
To **** me
I am tired
Of taking
My own life
I need something
To heal me
I am tired
Of helping
My own mind
I need someone
To take my hand
And tell me it's okay
To close my eyes for a bit
I need someone
To **** me
I am tired
Of taking
My
Own
Life
Aug 29, 2019
Aug 29, 2019 at 7:45 AM UTC
I'm dissociating again
I can't connect with my body
My head's just floating in thin air, tired and at the verge of being psychotic
I can't remember what I did yesterday or the day before
I'm anxious, feel like everyone is watching me
I feel the need to hurt myself or worse for that matter
I made plans to end it again
At night nightmares haunt me
At day I feel like the body I'm in isn't mine
I'm scared to get a psychosis
I'm scared I'll suddenly start to lose my grip on reality
Jul 27, 2019
Jul 27, 2019 at 1:55 PM UTC
I've been anxious and depressed lately.
I haven't got time to catch my breath
I am so drained I can't even collect the energy to do basic tasks
My parents hate me because of this
I can't defend myself anymore
I don't have the energy to do so
My self destructive ways of coping are taking over my body
I can't breathe
It's like the color dissappeared and everything is foggy
I don't know how much longer I can take this
I've had enough
Jul 12, 2019
Jul 12, 2019 at 5:17 AM UTC
That I've lost more tears than words
That I've been scared of being intimate since the boy that abused me
That I'm hurting inside so badly that all I can do is laugh about it because I can't cope with the feelings in my head
That my mother is so depressed that the whole house is shaking
That my father cries silently in his room at night
That my sister is rather not at home
They don't know
They don't know why I wear scars like a crown
Why I wear bones like pearls
They don't know why I push them away
Why I love flowers more when they are dead
They don't know
Because I choose to
I need to be strong for my family
I need to keep the mask on
They don't know I'm wearing a mask
They just hear my name and associate it with the things I spill on the table
They will never know
I won't let them know
Jun 24, 2019
Jun 24, 2019 at 9:46 AM UTC
There is an insect inside of me
His name is depression
He's feasting on my innards
The pain moves up to my brain
It spreads through my veins
Now I'm shaking and choking on my own blood
Tearing up
Would that I could
And I am so very tired
If I could only end it all
Where am I, what can I do to stop this?
Who's there to trust?
Jun 21, 2019
Jun 21, 2019 at 3:38 PM UTC
I am addicted to my own destruction
I never chose to live this life and now I'm ripping it off of me piece by piece like a poster on a wall
Once the pills kick in, I go back to numb
Once the blade hits my skin I can finally feel something
Once the alcohol or **** strucks my system I can stop thinking for a minute
Death is friendly to me, life is not
People are terrified of it, that's what sets me apart from them
Death became my lover a long time ago and he wants to take everything
I'm willing to give it all, but people are holding me back
There will be a time they lose grip There will be a time when I'm all alone with my thoughts and they'll swallow me like I'm nothing.
I can't bare it anymore
That time will be very soon
Jun 15, 2019
Jun 15, 2019 at 8:38 AM UTC