#madam - Hello Poetry

I. One night at the Troubadour I spotted this extraordinary girl. So I asked who she was. ‘A professional,’ That was my introduction that on a scale of one to ten there were women who were fifteens—beautiful, bright, witty, and oh, by the way, they worked. Once I became aware, I saw these women everywhere. And I came to learn that most of them were connected to Alex II. She had a printer engrave a calling card that featured a bird of paradise borrowed from a Tiffany silver pattern and, under it, Alex’s Aviary, Beautiful and Exotic birds. A few were women you’d see lunching at Le Dôme: pampered arm pieces with expensive tastes and a hint of a delicious but remote sexuality. Many more were fresh-faced, athletic, tanned, freckled the quintessential California girl That you’d take for sorority queens or future BMW owners. III. The mechanism of Alex’s sudden notoriety is byzantine, as these things always are. One of her girls took up with a rotter, the couple had a fight, he went to the police, the police had an undercover detective visit (who just happened to be an attractive woman) and ask to work for her, she all but embraced her —and by April of 1988 the district attorney had enough evidence to charge her with two counts of pandering and one of pimping. For Alex, who is fifty-six and has a heart condition and diabetes, the stakes may be high. A conviction carries the guarantee of incarceration. For the forces of law and order, the stakes may be higher. Alex has let it be known that she will subpoena every cop she’s ever met to testify at her trial. And the revelations this might produce —perhaps that Alex compromised policemen by making girls available to them, —perhaps that Alex had a deal with the police to provide information in exchange for their blind eye to her activities —could be hugely embarrassing to the police and the district attorney. For Alex’s socially correct clients and friends, for the socially correct wives of her clients and friends and for a handful of movie and television executives who have no idea they are dating or married to former Alex girls, the stakes are highest of all. IV. Alex’s black book is said to be a catalogue of Le Tout Los Angeles. In her head are the ****** secrets of many of the city’s most important men, to say nothing of visiting businessmen and Arab princes. If she decides to warble, either at her trial or in a book, her song will shatter more than glass. V. A decade ago, I went to lunch at Ma Maison, There were supposed to have been ten people there, but only four came. One of them was a short woman who called me a few days later and invited me to lunch. When I arrived, the table was set for two. I didn’t know who Alex was or what she did, but she knew the important facts of my situation: I was getting divorced from a very wealthy man and doing the legal work myself to avail lawyers who wanted to get a big settlement for me. Occasionally, she said, I get a call for a tall, dark-haired, slender, flat-chested woman —and I don’t have any. It wouldn’t be a frequent thing. There’d be weekends away, sometimes in Palm Springs, sometimes in Europe. The men will be elegant, you’ll have your own room —there would be no outward signs of impropriety. And you’d get $10,000 to $20,000 for a weekend. VI. The tall, slender, flat-chested brunette didn’t think it was right for her. Alex handed her a business card and suggested that she think about it. To her surprise, she did —for an entire week. This was 1978, and $20,000 then was like $40,000 now, I knew it was hooking, but Alex had never mentioned *** Our whole conversation seemed to be about something else. VII. I was born in Manila to a Spanish-Filipina mother and German father, and when I was twelve a Japanese soldier came into our house with his bayonet pointed at us, ready to do us in. He locked us in and set the house on fire. I haven’t been scared by much since that. My mother always struck me as goofy, so I jumped on a bus and ran away, I got off in Oakland, saw a help-wanted sign on a parish house, and went in. I got $200 a month for taking care of four priests. I spent all the money on pastries for the parish house. But I didn’t care. It felt safe. And the priests sparked my interest in the domestic arts —in linen, in crystal. A new priest arrived. He was unpleasant, so on a vacation in Los Angeles I took a pedestrian job, still a teenager, married a scientist. We separated eight years later, he took our two sons to another state threatened to keep them if I didn’t agree to a divorce. Keep them I said and hung up. It’s not that I don’t have a maternal instinct —though I don’t, I just hate to be manipulated. My second husband, an alcoholic, had Frank Sinatra blue eyes, and possibly —I never knew for sure— had a big career in the underworld as a contract killer. Years before we got serious, he was going out with a famous L.A. ****** She and her friends were so elegant that I started spending time with them in beauty salons. They were so fancy, so smart —and they knew incredible people, like the millionaire who sat in his suite all day just writing $5,000 checks to girls. VIII. I was a florist. We got to talking. She was a madam from England who wanted to sell her book and go home. I bought it for $5,000. My husband thought it was cute. Now you’re getting your feet wet. Three months later, he died. After eleven years of marriage, just like that. And of the names in the book it turned out that half of the men were also dead. When I began the men were old and the women were ugly. IX. It was like a lunch party you or I would give, Great food Alex had cooked herself. Major giggles with old pals. And then, instead of chocolate After Eight, she served three women After Three This man has seen a bit of life beyond Los Angeles, so I asked him how Alex’s stable compared with that of Madam Claude, the legendary Parisian procuress. Oh, these aren’t at all like Claude’s girls, A Claude girl was perfectly dressed and multilingual —you could take her to the opera and she’d understand it. He told me that when she was 40 she looked at herself in the mirror and said Disgusting. People over 40 should not have *** But She Was Clear That She Never Liked It even when she was young. Besides, she saw all the street business go to the tall, beautiful girls. She thought that she never had a chance competing against them. Instead, she would take their money by managing them. X. Going to a ****** was not looked down upon then. It was before the pill; Girls weren’t giving it away. Claude specialized in failed models and actresses, ones who just missed the cut. But just because they failed in those impossible professions didn’t mean they weren’t beautiful, fabulous. Like Avis in those days, those girls tried harder. Her place was off the Champs, just above a branch of the Rothschild bank, where I had an account. Once I met her, I was constantly making withdrawals and heading upstairs. XI. We took the lift and Claude greeted us at the door. My impression was that of the director of an haute couture house, very subdued, beige and gray, very little makeup. She took us into a lounge and made us drinks, Whiskey, Cognac. There was no maid. We made small talk for 15 minutes. How was the weekend? What’s the weather like in Deauville? Then she made the segue. ‘I understand you’d like to see some jeunes filles?’ She always used ‘jeunes filles.’ This was Claude’s polite way of saying 18 to 25. She left and soon returned with two very tall jeunes filles, One was blonde. This is Eva from Austria. She’s here studying painting. And a brunette, very different, but also very fine. This is Claudia from Germany. She’s a dancer. She took the girls back into the apartment and returned by herself. I gave my English guest first choice. He picked the blonde. And wasn’t disappointed. Each bedroom had its own bidet. There was some nice polite conversation, and then It was slightly formal, but it was high-quality. He paid Claude 200 francs, not to the girls In 1965, 200 francs was about $40. Pretty girls on Rue Saint-Denis could be had for 40 francs so you can see the premium. Still, it wasn’t out of reach for mere mortals. You didn’t have to be J. Paul Getty. XII. A lot of them were models at Christian Dior or other couture houses. She liked Scandinavians. That was the look then —cold, tall, perfect. It was cheap for the quality. They all used her. The best people wanted the best women. Elementary supply and demand. XIII. She had a camp number tattooed on her wrist. I saw it. She showed it to me and Rubi. She was proud she had survived. We talked about the camp for hours. It was even more fascinating than the girls. She was Jewish I’m certain of that. She was horrified at the Jewish collaborators at the camp who herded their fellow Jews into the gas chambers. That was the greatest betrayal in her life. XIV. She was this sad, lonely little woman. Later, Patrick told me who she was. I was bowled over. It was like meeting Al Capone. I met two of the girls who worked for her. One was what you would expect Tall Blonde Model. But the other looked like a Rat Then one night she came out all dressed up, I didn’t even recognize her. She was even better than the first girl. Claude liked to transform women like that. That was her art. It was very odd, my cousin told me. There was not much furniture and an awful lot of telephones. “Allô oui,” XV. I had so many lunches with Claude at Ma Maison She was vicious. One day, Margaux Hemingway, at the height of her beauty, walked by. Une bonne —the French for maid was how Claude cut her dead. She reduced the entire world to rich men wanting *** and poor women wanting money. She’d love to page through Vogue and see someone and say, When I met her she was called Marlene and she had a hideous nose and now she’s a princess. Or she’d see someone and say Let’s see if she kisses me or not. It was like I made her, and I can destroy her. She was obsessed with “fixing” people —with Saint Laurent clothes, with Cartier watches, with Winston jewels, with Vuitton luggage, with plastic surgeons. XVI. Her prison number was 888 which was good luck in China but not in California. ‘Ocho ocho ocho,’ she liked to repeat Even in jail, she was always working, always recruiting stunning women. She had a beautiful Mexican cellmate and gave her Robert Evans’s number as the first person she should call when she was released. XVII. Never have *** on the first date. XVIII. There will always be prostitution, The prostitution of misery. And the prostitution of bourgeois luxury. They will both go on forever. “Allô oui,” It was so exciting to hear a millionaire or a head of state ask, in a little boy’s voice, for the one thing that only you could provide It's not how beautiful you are, it's how you relate --it's mostly dialogue. She was tiny, blond, perfectly coiffed and Chanel-clad. The French Woman: The Arab Prince, the Japanese Diplomat, the Greek Tycoon, the C.I.A. Bureau Chief — She Possessed Them All! XIX. She was like a slave driver in the American South Once she took a girl on, the makeover put the girl in debt, because Claude paid all the bills to Dior, Vuitton, to the hairdressers, to the doctors, and the girls had to work to pay them off. It was ****** indentured servitude. My Swans. It reached the point where if you walked into a room in London or Rome as much as Paris because the girls were transportable, and saw a girl who was better-dressed, better-looking, and more distinguished than the others you presumed it was a girl from Claude. It was, without doubt, the finest *** operation ever run in the history of mankind. ** The girl had to be exactly what was needed so I had to teach her everything she didn’t know. I played a little the role of Pygmalion. There were basic things that absolutely had to be done. It consisted at the start of the physical aspect “surgical intervention” to give this way of being that was different from other girls. Often they had to be transformed into dream creatures because at the start they were not at all Often I had to teach them how to dress. Often they needed help to repair what nature had given them which was not so beautiful. At first they had to be tall, with pretty gestures, good manners. I had lots of noses done, chins, teeth, ******* There was a lot to do. Eight times out of ten I had to teach them how to behave in society. There were official dinners, suppers, weekends, and they needed to have conversation. I insisted they learn to speak English, read certain books. I interrogated them on what they read. It wasn’t easy. Each time something wasn’t working, I was obliged to say so. You were very demanding? I was ferocious. It’s difficult to teach a girl how to walk into Maxim’s without looking ill at ease when they’ve never been there, to go into an airport, to go to the Ritz, or the Crillon or the Dorchester. To find yourself in front of a king, three princes, four ministers, and five ambassadors at an official dinner. There were the wives of those people! Day after day one had to explain, explain again, start again. It took about two years. There would always be a man who would then say of her, ‘But she’s absolutely exceptional. What is that girl doing here?’ ” XXI. A New York publisher who visited the Palace Hotel in Saint Moritz in the early seventies told me, I met a whole bunch of them there. They were lovely. The johns wanted everyone to know who they were. I remember it being said Giovanni’s Madame Claude girl is going to be there. You asked them where they came from and they all said Neuilly. Claude liked girls from good families. More to the point she had invented their backgrounds. I have known, because of what I did, some exceptional and fascinating men. I’ve known some exceptional women too, but that was less interesting because I made them myself. Ah, this question of the handbag. You would be amazed by how much dust accumulates. Or how often women’s shoe heels are scuffed. XXII. She would examine their teeth and finally she would make them undress. That was a difficult moment When they arrived they were very shy, a bit frightened. At the beginning when I take a look, it’s a question of seeing if the silhouette and the gestures are pretty. Then there was a disagreeable moment. I said, I’m sorry about this unpleasantness, but I have to ask you to get undressed, because I can’t talk about you unless I see you. Believe me, I was embarrassed, just as they were, but it had to be done, not out of voyeurism, not at all —I don’t like les dames horizontales. It was very funny because there were always two reactions. A young girl, very sure of herself, very beautiful, très bien, would say Yes, Get up, and get undressed. There was nothing to hide, everything was perfect. There were those who would start timidly to take off their dress and I would say I knew already. The rest is not sadism, but nearly. I knew what I was going to find. I would say, Maybe you should take off your bra, and I knew it wasn’t going to be beautiful. Because otherwise she would have taken it off easily. No problem. There were damages that could be mended. There were some ******* that could be redone, some not Sometimes it can be deceptive, you know, you see a pretty girl, a pretty face, all elegant and slim, well dressed, and when you see her naked it is a catastrophe. I could judge their physical qualities, I could judge if she was pretty, intelligent, and cultivated, but I didn’t know how she was in bed. So I had some boys, good friends, who told me exactly. I would ring them up and say, There’s a new one. And afterwards they’d ring back and say, Not bad, Could be better, or Nulle. Or, on the contrary, She’s perfect. And I would sometimes have to tell the girls what they didn’t know. A pleasant assignment? No. They paid. XXIII. Often at the beginning they had an ami de coeur in other words, oh, a journalist, a photographer, a type like that, someone in the cinema, an actor, not very well known. As time went by It became difficult because they didn’t have a lot of time for him. The fact of physically changing, becoming prettier, changing mentally to live with millionaires, produced a certain imbalance between them and the little boyfriend who had not evolved and had stayed in his milieu. At the end of a certain time she would say, I’m so much better than him. Why am I with this boy? And they would break up by themselves. Remember, this was instant elevation. For most of them it was a dream existence, provided they liked the *** and those that didn’t never lasted long. A lot of the clients were young, and didn’t treat them like tarts but like someone from their own class. They would buy you presents, take you on trips. XXIV. For me, *** was something very accessoire I think after a certain age there are certain spectacles one should not give to others Now I have a penchant for solitude. Love, it’s a complete destroyer, It’s impossible, a horror, l’angoisse. It’s the only time in my life I was jealous. I’m not a jealous person, but I was épouvantable. He was jealous too. We broke plates over each other’s heads; we became jealous about each other’s pasts. I said one day It’s finished. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say: Break my legs, give me scarlet fever, an attack of TB, but never that. Not that. XXV. I called her into my office Let us not exaggerate, I sent her away. She came back looking for employment, but was fired again, this time for drugs. She made menacing phone calls. Then she arrived at the Rue de Boulainvilliers with a gun. She shot three bullets I was dressed in the fashion of Courrèges at this moment He did very padded things. I had a padded dress with a little jacket on top. The bullet —merci, Monsieur Courrèges —stuck in the padding. I was thrown forward onto the telephone. I had one thought which went through my head: I will die like Kennedy. I turned round and put my hand up in a reflex. The second bullet went through my hand. I have two dead fingers. It’s most useful for removing bottle tops. In the corridor I was saved from the third bullet because she was very tall and I am quite petite, so it passed over my head. XXVI. There were men who could decapitate, **** and bomb their rivals who would be frightened of me. I would ask them how was the girl, and they’d say Not bad and then But I’m not complaining. I was a little sadistic to them sometimes. Some women have known powerful men because they’re their lover. But I’ve known them all. I had them all here. She will take many state secrets with her. XXVI. I don’t like ugly people probably because when I was young I wasn’t beautiful at all. I was ugly and I suffered for it, although not to the point of obsession. Now that I’m an old woman, I’m not so bad. And that’s why I’ve always been surrounded by people Who were beautiful. And the best way to have beautiful people around me was to make them. I made them very pretty. XXVII. I wouldn’t call what Alex gives you ‘advice,’ She spares you Nothing. She makes a list of what she wants done, and she really gets into it I mean, she wants you to get your arms waxed. She gives you names of people who do good facials. She tells you what to buy at Neiman Marcus. She’s put off by anything flashy, and if you don’t dress conservatively, she’s got no problem telling you, in front of an audience, You look like a cheap ***** I used to wear what I wanted when I went out then change in the car into a frumpy sweater when I went to give her the money she’d always go, Oh, you look beautiful! Marry your boyfriend, It’s better than going to prison. When you go out with her, she’ll buy you a present; she’s incredibly generous that way. And she’ll always tell you to save money and get out. It’s frustrating to her when girls call at the end of the month and say they need rent money. She wants to see you do well. We had a schedule, with cards that indicated a client’s name, what he liked, the names of the girls he’d seen, and how long he’d been with them. And I only hired girls who had another career —if my clients had a choice between drop-dead-gorgeous and beautiful-and-interesting, they’d tend to take beautiful-and-interesting. These men wanted to talk. If they spent two hours with a girl, they usually spent only five or ten minutes in bed. I get the feeling that in Los Angeles, men are more concerned with looks. XXVIII. That was my big idea Not to expand the book by aggressive marketing but to make sure that nobody mistook my girls for run-of-the-mill hookers. And I kept my roster fresh. This was not a business where you peddle your *** get exploited, and then are cast off. I screen clients. I’ve never sent girls to weirdos. I let the men know: no violence, no costumes, no fudge-packing. And I talked to my girls. I’d tell them: Two and a half years and you’re burned out. Save your money. This is like a hangar —you come in, refuel, and take off. It’s not a vacation, it’s not a goof. This buys the singing lessons, the dancing lessons, the glossies. This is to help you pay for what your parents couldn’t provide. It’s an honorable way station—a lot of stars did this. XXIX. To say someone was a Claude girl is an honour, not a slur. Une femme terrible. She despised men and women alike. Men were wallets. Women were holes. By the 80s, if you were a brunette, the sky was the limit. The Saudis They’d call for half a dozen of Alex’s finest, ignore them all evening while they chatted, ate, and played cards, and then, around midnight, take the women inside for a fast few minutes of *** They’d order women up like pizza. Since my second husband died, I only met one man who was right for me, He was a sheikh. I visited him in Europe twenty-eight times in the five years I knew him and I never slept with him. He’d say I think you fly all the way here just to tease me, but he introduced me by phone to all his powerful friends. When I was in Los Angeles, he called me twice a day. That’s why I never went out he would have been disappointed. *** Listen to me This is a woman’s business. When a woman does it, it’s fun there’s a giggle in it when a man’s involved, he’s ****** he’s a **** He may know how to keep girls in line, and he may make money, but he doesn’t know what I do. I tell guys: You’re getting a nice girl. She’s young, She’s pleasant, She can do things she can certainly make love. She’s not a rocket scientist, but she’s everything else. The world’s richest and most powerful men, the announcer teased. An income “in the millions,” said the arresting officer. Pina Colapinto A petite call girl, who once slid between the sheets of royalty, a green-eyed blonde helped the police get the indictment. They really dolled her up She looks great. Never! What I told her was: ‘Wash that ****** XXXI. Madam Alex died at 7 p.m. Saturday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where she had been in intensive care after recent open heart surgery We all held her hand when they took her off the life support This was the passing of a legend. Because she was the mother superior of prostitution. She was one of the richest women on earth. The world came to her. She never had to leave the house. She was like Hugh Hefner in that way. It's like losing a friend In all the years we played cat and mouse, she never once tried to corrupt me. We had a lot of fun. To those who knew her she was as constant as she was colorful always ready with a good tidbit of gossip and a gourmet lunch for two. She entertained, even after her conviction on pandering charges, from the comfy depths of her blue four-poster bed at her home near Doheny Drive, surrounded by knickknacks and meowing cats, which she fed fresh shrimp from blue china plates. XXXII. She stole my business, my books, my girls, my guys. I had a good run. My creatures. Make Mommy happy Oh! He is the most enchanting cat that I have ever known. She was, how can I say it, classy. When she first hired me she thought I was too young to take her case. I was 43. I'm going to give you some gray hairs by the time this is over. She was right. XXXIII. I was fond of Heidi But she has a streak that is so vindictive. If there is pure evil, it is Madame Alex. XXXIV. I was born and raised in L.A. My dad was a famous pediatrician. When he died, they donated a bench to him at the Griffith Park Observatory. I think that Heidi wanted to try her wings pretty early, and I think that she met some people who sort of took all her potential and gave it a sharp turn She knew nothing. She was like a little parrot who repeated what she was supposed to say. Alex and I had a very intense relationship; I was kind of like the daughter she loved and hated, so she was abusive and loving at the same time. Look, I know Madam Alex was great at what she did but it's like this: What took her years to build, I built in one. The high end is the high end, and no one has a higher end than me. In this business, no one steals clients. There's just better service. XXXV. You were not allowed to have long hair You were not allowed to be too pretty You were not allowed to wear too much makeup or be too glamorous Because someone would fall in love with you and take you away. And then she loses the business XXXVI. I was pursued because come on in our lifetime, we will never see another girl of my age who lived the way I did, who did what I did so quickly, I made so many enemies. Some people had been in this line of business for their whole lives, 30 or 40 years, and I came in and cornered the market. Men don't like that. Women don't like that. No one liked it. I had this spiritual awakening watching an Oprah Winfrey video. I was doing this 500-hour drug class and one day the teacher showed us this video, called something like Make It Happen. Usually in class I would bring a notebook and write a letter to my brother or my journal, but all of a sudden this grabbed my attention and I understood everything she said. It hit me and it changed me a lot. It made me feel, Accept yourself for who you are. I saw a deeper meaning in it but who knows, I might have just been getting my period that day! XXXVII. Hello, Gina! You movie star! Yes you are! Gina G! Hello my friend, Hello my friend, Hello my movie star, Ruby! Ruby Boobie! Braaawk! Except so many women say, Come on, Heidi you gotta do the brothel for us; don't let us down. It would be kind of fun opening up an exclusive resort, and I'll make it really nice, like the Beverly Hills Hotel It'll feel private; you'll have your own bungalow. The only problem out here is the climate—it's so brutal. Charles Manson was captured a half hour from Pahrump. I said, Joe! What are you doing? You gotta get, like, a garter belt and encase it in something and write, This belonged to Suzette Whatever, who entertained the Flying Tigers during World War II. Get, like, some weird tools and write, These were the first abortion tools in the brothel, you know what I mean? Just make some **** up! So I came out here to do some research And then I realized, What am I doing? I'm Heidi Fleiss. I don't need anyone. I can do this. When I was doing my research, in three months I saw land go from 30 thousand an acre to 50 thousand an acre, and then it was going for 70K! It's urban sprawl —we're only one hour from Las Vegas. Out here the casinos are only going to get bigger, prostitution is legal, it's only getting better. XXXVIII. The truth is deep down inside, I just can't do business with him He's the type of guy who buys Cup o' Noodles soup for three cents and makes his hookers buy it back from him for $5. It's not my style at all. Who wants to be 75 and facing federal charges? It was different at my age when I at least...come on, I lived really well. I was 22, 25 at the time? It was fun then, but now I wouldn't want to deal with all that ******** —the girls and blah blah blah. But the money was really good. I would've told someone they were out of their ******* mind if they'd said in five years I'd be living with all these animals like this. It's ******** how I live; It's totally a nonfunctional atmosphere for me It's hard to get anything done because It’s so time-consuming. I feel like they're good luck though.... I do feel that if I ever get rid of them, I will be jinxed and cursed the rest of my life and nothing I do will ever work again. Guys kind of are a hindrance to me Certainly I have no problem getting laid or anything. But a man is not a priority in my life. I mean, it's crazy, but I really have fun with my parrots. XXXIX. I started a babysitting circle when I wasn't much older than 9 And soon all the parents in the neighborhood wanted me to watch over their children. Even then I had an innate business sense. I started farming out my friends to meet the demand. My mother showered me with love and my father, a pediatrician, would ask me at the dinner table, What did you learn today? I ran my neighborhood. I just pick up a hustle really easily, I was a waitress and I met an older guy who looked like Santa Claus. Alex was a 5' 3" bald-headed Filipina in a transparent muu muu. We hit it off. I didn't know at the time that I was there to pay off the guy's gambling debt. It's in and out, over and out. Do you think some big-time producer or actor is going to go to the clubs and hustle? Columbia Pictures executive says: I haven’t done anything that should cause any concern. Jeez, it's like the Nixon enemies list. I hope I'm on it. If I'm not, it means I must not be big enough for people to gossip about me. That's right ladies and gentlemen. I am an alleged madam and that is a $25 ***** If you live out here, you've got to hate people. You've got to be pretty antisocial How you gonna come out here with only 86 people? That's Fred. He's digging to China. You look good. Yeah, you too. It's coming along here. Yeah, it is. I wanted to buy that lot there, but I guess it's gone? That's mine, man! That's all me. Really? I thought there was a lot between us. No. We're neighbors. He's a cute guy He's entertaining. See, I kind of did do something shady to him. I thought my property went all the way back and butted up against his. But there was one lot between us right there. He said he was buying it, but I saw the 'For Sale' sign still up there, So I went and called the broker and said, I'm an all-cash buyer. So I really bought it out from under him. But he's got plenty of room, and I need the space for my parrots. Pahrump will always be Pahrump, but Crystal is going to be nice All you need are four or five fancy houses and it'll flush everyone out and it'll be a nice area. They're all kind of weird here, but these people will go. Like this guy here, someone needs to **** him. I was just saying to my dad that these parrots are born to a really ******** world He goes, Heidi, no, no; the world is a beautiful garden. It's just, people are destroying it. I’m looking into green building options I don't want anything polluting, I want a huge auditorium, but it'll be like a jungle where my birds can really fly! Where they can really do what they're supposed to do. There were over 300 birds in there! That lady, She ran the exotic-birds department for the Tropicana Hotel, which is a huge job. She called me once at 3:30 in the morning Come over here and help me feed this baby! Some baby parrot. And I ran over there in my pajamas —I knew there was something else wrong and she was like Get me my oxygen! Get me this, get me that. I called my dad; he was like, I don't know, honey, you better call the paramedics. They ended up getting a helicopter. And they were taking her away in the wind with her IV and blood and everything and she goes, Heidi, you take care of my birds. And she dies the next day. She was just a super-duper person. XL. I relate to the lifestyle she had before, Now, I'm just a citizen. I'm clean, I'm sober, I'm married, I work at Wal-Mart. I'm proud to say I know her. I look into her eyes and we relate. I got out in 2000, so I've been sending her money for seven years She was…whatever. Girlfriend? Yeah, maybe. But *** I tried like two times, and I'm just not gay. She gets out in about eight or nine months and I told her I would get her a house. But nowhere near me. I didn't touch her, but I'd be, like... a funny story: I told her, Don't you ever ******* think about contacting me in the real world. I'm not a lesbian. Then about two years ago, I got an e-mail from her, or she called me and said, 'Google my name.' So I Googled her name, and she has this huge company. Huge! She won, like, Woman of the Year awards. So I called her and I go, Not bad. She goes, 'Well, I did all that because you called me a loser.' I go, 'Damn, I should've called you more names you probably would've found the cure for cancer by now. XLI. No person shall be employed by the licensee who has ever been convicted of a felony involving moral turpitude But I qualify, I mean, big deal, so I'm a convicted felon. Being in the *** industry, you can't be so squeaky-clean. You've got to be hustling. Nighttime is really enchanting here It's like a whole 'nother world out here, it really is I’m so far removed from my social life and old surroundings. Who was it, Oscar Wilde, I think, who said people can adjust to anything. I was perfectly adjusted in the penitentiary, and I was perfectly adjusted to living in a château in France. We had done those drug addiction shows together Dr. Drew. Afterward we were friendly and he'd call me every now and then. He'd act like he had his stuff together. But it was all a lie. Everything is a lie. I brought him to a Humane Society event at Paramount Studios last year. He was just such a mess. So out of it. He stole money from my purse. He's such a drug addict because he's so afraid of being fat. He liked horse **** though. He did like horse **** This one woman that would have *** with a horse on the internet, He told me that’s his favorite actress. Better than Meryl Streep. XLII. The cops could see why these women were taking over trade. Girls with these looks charged upwards of $500 an hour. The Russians had undercut them with a bargain rate of $150 an hour. One thing they are not is lazy. In the USSR they grew up with no religion, no morality. Prostitution is not considered a bad thing. In fact, it’s considered a great way to make money. That’s why it’s exploding here. What we saw was just a tip of the iceberg. These girls didn’t come over here expecting to be nannies. They knew exactly what they wanted and what they were getting into. The madam who organized this raid was making $4 million a year, laundered through Russian-owned banks in New York City These are brutal people. They are all backstabbers. They’re entrepreneurs. They’re looking at $10,000 a month for turning tricks. For them, that’s the American dream. XLIII. If you’re not into something, don’t be into it But, if you want to take some whipped cream, put it between your toes, have your dog licking it up and, at the same time, have your girlfriend poke you in the eye, then that’s fine. That’s a little weird but we shouldn’t judge. She was my best friend then and I consider her one of my best friends now, because when I was going through Riker’s and everyone abandoned me, including my boyfriend, I was hysterical, crying, and she was the one that was there. And, when somebody needed to step up to the plate, that’s who did, and I have an immense amount of loyalty, respect, and love for her. And if she’s going to prison for eight years —that’s what she’s sentenced for —I’ll go there, and I’ll go there every week, for eight years. That’s the type of person I am.

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Dec 27, 2018

Dec 27, 2018 at 2:03 PM UTC

swiggins

THE ***** WAR CANTOS

I. One night at the Troubadour I spotted this extraordinary girl. So I asked who she was. ‘A professional,’ That was my introduction that on a scale of one to ten there were women who were fifteens—beautiful, bright, witty, and oh, by the way, they worked. Once I became aware, I saw these women everywhere. And I came to learn that most of them were connected to Alex II. She had a printer engrave a calling card that featured a bird of paradise borrowed from a Tiffany silver pattern and, under it, Alex’s Aviary, Beautiful and Exotic birds. A few were women you’d see lunching at Le Dôme: pampered arm pieces with expensive tastes and a hint of a delicious but remote sexuality. Many more were fresh-faced, athletic, tanned, freckled the quintessential California girl That you’d take for sorority queens or future BMW owners. III. The mechanism of Alex’s sudden notoriety is byzantine, as these things always are. One of her girls took up with a rotter, the couple had a fight, he went to the police, the police had an undercover detective visit (who just happened to be an attractive woman) and ask to work for her, she all but embraced her —and by April of 1988 the district attorney had enough evidence to charge her with two counts of pandering and one of pimping. For Alex, who is fifty-six and has a heart condition and diabetes, the stakes may be high. A conviction carries the guarantee of incarceration. For the forces of law and order, the stakes may be higher. Alex has let it be known that she will subpoena every cop she’s ever met to testify at her trial. And the revelations this might produce —perhaps that Alex compromised policemen by making girls available to them, —perhaps that Alex had a deal with the police to provide information in exchange for their blind eye to her activities —could be hugely embarrassing to the police and the district attorney. For Alex’s socially correct clients and friends, for the socially correct wives of her clients and friends and for a handful of movie and television executives who have no idea they are dating or married to former Alex girls, the stakes are highest of all. IV. Alex’s black book is said to be a catalogue of Le Tout Los Angeles. In her head are the ****** secrets of many of the city’s most important men, to say nothing of visiting businessmen and Arab princes. If she decides to warble, either at her trial or in a book, her song will shatter more than glass. V. A decade ago, I went to lunch at Ma Maison, There were supposed to have been ten people there, but only four came. One of them was a short woman who called me a few days later and invited me to lunch. When I arrived, the table was set for two. I didn’t know who Alex was or what she did, but she knew the important facts of my situation: I was getting divorced from a very wealthy man and doing the legal work myself to avail lawyers who wanted to get a big settlement for me. Occasionally, she said, I get a call for a tall, dark-haired, slender, flat-chested woman —and I don’t have any. It wouldn’t be a frequent thing. There’d be weekends away, sometimes in Palm Springs, sometimes in Europe. The men will be elegant, you’ll have your own room —there would be no outward signs of impropriety. And you’d get $10,000 to $20,000 for a weekend. VI. The tall, slender, flat-chested brunette didn’t think it was right for her. Alex handed her a business card and suggested that she think about it. To her surprise, she did —for an entire week. This was 1978, and $20,000 then was like $40,000 now, I knew it was hooking, but Alex had never mentioned *** Our whole conversation seemed to be about something else. VII. I was born in Manila to a Spanish-Filipina mother and German father, and when I was twelve a Japanese soldier came into our house with his bayonet pointed at us, ready to do us in. He locked us in and set the house on fire. I haven’t been scared by much since that. My mother always struck me as goofy, so I jumped on a bus and ran away, I got off in Oakland, saw a help-wanted sign on a parish house, and went in. I got $200 a month for taking care of four priests. I spent all the money on pastries for the parish house. But I didn’t care. It felt safe. And the priests sparked my interest in the domestic arts —in linen, in crystal. A new priest arrived. He was unpleasant, so on a vacation in Los Angeles I took a pedestrian job, still a teenager, married a scientist. We separated eight years later, he took our two sons to another state threatened to keep them if I didn’t agree to a divorce. Keep them I said and hung up. It’s not that I don’t have a maternal instinct —though I don’t, I just hate to be manipulated. My second husband, an alcoholic, had Frank Sinatra blue eyes, and possibly —I never knew for sure— had a big career in the underworld as a contract killer. Years before we got serious, he was going out with a famous L.A. ****** She and her friends were so elegant that I started spending time with them in beauty salons. They were so fancy, so smart —and they knew incredible people, like the millionaire who sat in his suite all day just writing $5,000 checks to girls. VIII. I was a florist. We got to talking. She was a madam from England who wanted to sell her book and go home. I bought it for $5,000. My husband thought it was cute. Now you’re getting your feet wet. Three months later, he died. After eleven years of marriage, just like that. And of the names in the book it turned out that half of the men were also dead. When I began the men were old and the women were ugly. IX. It was like a lunch party you or I would give, Great food Alex had cooked herself. Major giggles with old pals. And then, instead of chocolate After Eight, she served three women After Three This man has seen a bit of life beyond Los Angeles, so I asked him how Alex’s stable compared with that of Madam Claude, the legendary Parisian procuress. Oh, these aren’t at all like Claude’s girls, A Claude girl was perfectly dressed and multilingual —you could take her to the opera and she’d understand it. He told me that when she was 40 she looked at herself in the mirror and said Disgusting. People over 40 should not have *** But She Was Clear That She Never Liked It even when she was young. Besides, she saw all the street business go to the tall, beautiful girls. She thought that she never had a chance competing against them. Instead, she would take their money by managing them. X. Going to a ****** was not looked down upon then. It was before the pill; Girls weren’t giving it away. Claude specialized in failed models and actresses, ones who just missed the cut. But just because they failed in those impossible professions didn’t mean they weren’t beautiful, fabulous. Like Avis in those days, those girls tried harder. Her place was off the Champs, just above a branch of the Rothschild bank, where I had an account. Once I met her, I was constantly making withdrawals and heading upstairs. XI. We took the lift and Claude greeted us at the door. My impression was that of the director of an haute couture house, very subdued, beige and gray, very little makeup. She took us into a lounge and made us drinks, Whiskey, Cognac. There was no maid. We made small talk for 15 minutes. How was the weekend? What’s the weather like in Deauville? Then she made the segue. ‘I understand you’d like to see some jeunes filles?’ She always used ‘jeunes filles.’ This was Claude’s polite way of saying 18 to 25. She left and soon returned with two very tall jeunes filles, One was blonde. This is Eva from Austria. She’s here studying painting. And a brunette, very different, but also very fine. This is Claudia from Germany. She’s a dancer. She took the girls back into the apartment and returned by herself. I gave my English guest first choice. He picked the blonde. And wasn’t disappointed. Each bedroom had its own bidet. There was some nice polite conversation, and then It was slightly formal, but it was high-quality. He paid Claude 200 francs, not to the girls In 1965, 200 francs was about $40. Pretty girls on Rue Saint-Denis could be had for 40 francs so you can see the premium. Still, it wasn’t out of reach for mere mortals. You didn’t have to be J. Paul Getty. XII. A lot of them were models at Christian Dior or other couture houses. She liked Scandinavians. That was the look then —cold, tall, perfect. It was cheap for the quality. They all used her. The best people wanted the best women. Elementary supply and demand. XIII. She had a camp number tattooed on her wrist. I saw it. She showed it to me and Rubi. She was proud she had survived. We talked about the camp for hours. It was even more fascinating than the girls. She was Jewish I’m certain of that. She was horrified at the Jewish collaborators at the camp who herded their fellow Jews into the gas chambers. That was the greatest betrayal in her life. XIV. She was this sad, lonely little woman. Later, Patrick told me who she was. I was bowled over. It was like meeting Al Capone. I met two of the girls who worked for her. One was what you would expect Tall Blonde Model. But the other looked like a Rat Then one night she came out all dressed up, I didn’t even recognize her. She was even better than the first girl. Claude liked to transform women like that. That was her art. It was very odd, my cousin told me. There was not much furniture and an awful lot of telephones. “Allô oui,” XV. I had so many lunches with Claude at Ma Maison She was vicious. One day, Margaux Hemingway, at the height of her beauty, walked by. Une bonne —the French for maid was how Claude cut her dead. She reduced the entire world to rich men wanting *** and poor women wanting money. She’d love to page through Vogue and see someone and say, When I met her she was called Marlene and she had a hideous nose and now she’s a princess. Or she’d see someone and say Let’s see if she kisses me or not. It was like I made her, and I can destroy her. She was obsessed with “fixing” people —with Saint Laurent clothes, with Cartier watches, with Winston jewels, with Vuitton luggage, with plastic surgeons. XVI. Her prison number was 888 which was good luck in China but not in California. ‘Ocho ocho ocho,’ she liked to repeat Even in jail, she was always working, always recruiting stunning women. She had a beautiful Mexican cellmate and gave her Robert Evans’s number as the first person she should call when she was released. XVII. Never have *** on the first date. XVIII. There will always be prostitution, The prostitution of misery. And the prostitution of bourgeois luxury. They will both go on forever. “Allô oui,” It was so exciting to hear a millionaire or a head of state ask, in a little boy’s voice, for the one thing that only you could provide It's not how beautiful you are, it's how you relate --it's mostly dialogue. She was tiny, blond, perfectly coiffed and Chanel-clad. The French Woman: The Arab Prince, the Japanese Diplomat, the Greek Tycoon, the C.I.A. Bureau Chief — She Possessed Them All! XIX. She was like a slave driver in the American South Once she took a girl on, the makeover put the girl in debt, because Claude paid all the bills to Dior, Vuitton, to the hairdressers, to the doctors, and the girls had to work to pay them off. It was ****** indentured servitude. My Swans. It reached the point where if you walked into a room in London or Rome as much as Paris because the girls were transportable, and saw a girl who was better-dressed, better-looking, and more distinguished than the others you presumed it was a girl from Claude. It was, without doubt, the finest *** operation ever run in the history of mankind. ** The girl had to be exactly what was needed so I had to teach her everything she didn’t know. I played a little the role of Pygmalion. There were basic things that absolutely had to be done. It consisted at the start of the physical aspect “surgical intervention” to give this way of being that was different from other girls. Often they had to be transformed into dream creatures because at the start they were not at all Often I had to teach them how to dress. Often they needed help to repair what nature had given them which was not so beautiful. At first they had to be tall, with pretty gestures, good manners. I had lots of noses done, chins, teeth, ******* There was a lot to do. Eight times out of ten I had to teach them how to behave in society. There were official dinners, suppers, weekends, and they needed to have conversation. I insisted they learn to speak English, read certain books. I interrogated them on what they read. It wasn’t easy. Each time something wasn’t working, I was obliged to say so. You were very demanding? I was ferocious. It’s difficult to teach a girl how to walk into Maxim’s without looking ill at ease when they’ve never been there, to go into an airport, to go to the Ritz, or the Crillon or the Dorchester. To find yourself in front of a king, three princes, four ministers, and five ambassadors at an official dinner. There were the wives of those people! Day after day one had to explain, explain again, start again. It took about two years. There would always be a man who would then say of her, ‘But she’s absolutely exceptional. What is that girl doing here?’ ” XXI. A New York publisher who visited the Palace Hotel in Saint Moritz in the early seventies told me, I met a whole bunch of them there. They were lovely. The johns wanted everyone to know who they were. I remember it being said Giovanni’s Madame Claude girl is going to be there. You asked them where they came from and they all said Neuilly. Claude liked girls from good families. More to the point she had invented their backgrounds. I have known, because of what I did, some exceptional and fascinating men. I’ve known some exceptional women too, but that was less interesting because I made them myself. Ah, this question of the handbag. You would be amazed by how much dust accumulates. Or how often women’s shoe heels are scuffed. XXII. She would examine their teeth and finally she would make them undress. That was a difficult moment When they arrived they were very shy, a bit frightened. At the beginning when I take a look, it’s a question of seeing if the silhouette and the gestures are pretty. Then there was a disagreeable moment. I said, I’m sorry about this unpleasantness, but I have to ask you to get undressed, because I can’t talk about you unless I see you. Believe me, I was embarrassed, just as they were, but it had to be done, not out of voyeurism, not at all —I don’t like les dames horizontales. It was very funny because there were always two reactions. A young girl, very sure of herself, very beautiful, très bien, would say Yes, Get up, and get undressed. There was nothing to hide, everything was perfect. There were those who would start timidly to take off their dress and I would say I knew already. The rest is not sadism, but nearly. I knew what I was going to find. I would say, Maybe you should take off your bra, and I knew it wasn’t going to be beautiful. Because otherwise she would have taken it off easily. No problem. There were damages that could be mended. There were some ******* that could be redone, some not Sometimes it can be deceptive, you know, you see a pretty girl, a pretty face, all elegant and slim, well dressed, and when you see her naked it is a catastrophe. I could judge their physical qualities, I could judge if she was pretty, intelligent, and cultivated, but I didn’t know how she was in bed. So I had some boys, good friends, who told me exactly. I would ring them up and say, There’s a new one. And afterwards they’d ring back and say, Not bad, Could be better, or Nulle. Or, on the contrary, She’s perfect. And I would sometimes have to tell the girls what they didn’t know. A pleasant assignment? No. They paid. XXIII. Often at the beginning they had an ami de coeur in other words, oh, a journalist, a photographer, a type like that, someone in the cinema, an actor, not very well known. As time went by It became difficult because they didn’t have a lot of time for him. The fact of physically changing, becoming prettier, changing mentally to live with millionaires, produced a certain imbalance between them and the little boyfriend who had not evolved and had stayed in his milieu. At the end of a certain time she would say, I’m so much better than him. Why am I with this boy? And they would break up by themselves. Remember, this was instant elevation. For most of them it was a dream existence, provided they liked the *** and those that didn’t never lasted long. A lot of the clients were young, and didn’t treat them like tarts but like someone from their own class. They would buy you presents, take you on trips. XXIV. For me, *** was something very accessoire I think after a certain age there are certain spectacles one should not give to others Now I have a penchant for solitude. Love, it’s a complete destroyer, It’s impossible, a horror, l’angoisse. It’s the only time in my life I was jealous. I’m not a jealous person, but I was épouvantable. He was jealous too. We broke plates over each other’s heads; we became jealous about each other’s pasts. I said one day It’s finished. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say: Break my legs, give me scarlet fever, an attack of TB, but never that. Not that. XXV. I called her into my office Let us not exaggerate, I sent her away. She came back looking for employment, but was fired again, this time for drugs. She made menacing phone calls. Then she arrived at the Rue de Boulainvilliers with a gun. She shot three bullets I was dressed in the fashion of Courrèges at this moment He did very padded things. I had a padded dress with a little jacket on top. The bullet —merci, Monsieur Courrèges —stuck in the padding. I was thrown forward onto the telephone. I had one thought which went through my head: I will die like Kennedy. I turned round and put my hand up in a reflex. The second bullet went through my hand. I have two dead fingers. It’s most useful for removing bottle tops. In the corridor I was saved from the third bullet because she was very tall and I am quite petite, so it passed over my head. XXVI. There were men who could decapitate, **** and bomb their rivals who would be frightened of me. I would ask them how was the girl, and they’d say Not bad and then But I’m not complaining. I was a little sadistic to them sometimes. Some women have known powerful men because they’re their lover. But I’ve known them all. I had them all here. She will take many state secrets with her. XXVI. I don’t like ugly people probably because when I was young I wasn’t beautiful at all. I was ugly and I suffered for it, although not to the point of obsession. Now that I’m an old woman, I’m not so bad. And that’s why I’ve always been surrounded by people Who were beautiful. And the best way to have beautiful people around me was to make them. I made them very pretty. XXVII. I wouldn’t call what Alex gives you ‘advice,’ She spares you Nothing. She makes a list of what she wants done, and she really gets into it I mean, she wants you to get your arms waxed. She gives you names of people who do good facials. She tells you what to buy at Neiman Marcus. She’s put off by anything flashy, and if you don’t dress conservatively, she’s got no problem telling you, in front of an audience, You look like a cheap ***** I used to wear what I wanted when I went out then change in the car into a frumpy sweater when I went to give her the money she’d always go, Oh, you look beautiful! Marry your boyfriend, It’s better than going to prison. When you go out with her, she’ll buy you a present; she’s incredibly generous that way. And she’ll always tell you to save money and get out. It’s frustrating to her when girls call at the end of the month and say they need rent money. She wants to see you do well. We had a schedule, with cards that indicated a client’s name, what he liked, the names of the girls he’d seen, and how long he’d been with them. And I only hired girls who had another career —if my clients had a choice between drop-dead-gorgeous and beautiful-and-interesting, they’d tend to take beautiful-and-interesting. These men wanted to talk. If they spent two hours with a girl, they usually spent only five or ten minutes in bed. I get the feeling that in Los Angeles, men are more concerned with looks. XXVIII. That was my big idea Not to expand the book by aggressive marketing but to make sure that nobody mistook my girls for run-of-the-mill hookers. And I kept my roster fresh. This was not a business where you peddle your *** get exploited, and then are cast off. I screen clients. I’ve never sent girls to weirdos. I let the men know: no violence, no costumes, no fudge-packing. And I talked to my girls. I’d tell them: Two and a half years and you’re burned out. Save your money. This is like a hangar —you come in, refuel, and take off. It’s not a vacation, it’s not a goof. This buys the singing lessons, the dancing lessons, the glossies. This is to help you pay for what your parents couldn’t provide. It’s an honorable way station—a lot of stars did this. XXIX. To say someone was a Claude girl is an honour, not a slur. Une femme terrible. She despised men and women alike. Men were wallets. Women were holes. By the 80s, if you were a brunette, the sky was the limit. The Saudis They’d call for half a dozen of Alex’s finest, ignore them all evening while they chatted, ate, and played cards, and then, around midnight, take the women inside for a fast few minutes of *** They’d order women up like pizza. Since my second husband died, I only met one man who was right for me, He was a sheikh. I visited him in Europe twenty-eight times in the five years I knew him and I never slept with him. He’d say I think you fly all the way here just to tease me, but he introduced me by phone to all his powerful friends. When I was in Los Angeles, he called me twice a day. That’s why I never went out he would have been disappointed. *** Listen to me This is a woman’s business. When a woman does it, it’s fun there’s a giggle in it when a man’s involved, he’s ****** he’s a **** He may know how to keep girls in line, and he may make money, but he doesn’t know what I do. I tell guys: You’re getting a nice girl. She’s young, She’s pleasant, She can do things she can certainly make love. She’s not a rocket scientist, but she’s everything else. The world’s richest and most powerful men, the announcer teased. An income “in the millions,” said the arresting officer. Pina Colapinto A petite call girl, who once slid between the sheets of royalty, a green-eyed blonde helped the police get the indictment. They really dolled her up She looks great. Never! What I told her was: ‘Wash that ****** XXXI. Madam Alex died at 7 p.m. Saturday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where she had been in intensive care after recent open heart surgery We all held her hand when they took her off the life support This was the passing of a legend. Because she was the mother superior of prostitution. She was one of the richest women on earth. The world came to her. She never had to leave the house. She was like Hugh Hefner in that way. It's like losing a friend In all the years we played cat and mouse, she never once tried to corrupt me. We had a lot of fun. To those who knew her she was as constant as she was colorful always ready with a good tidbit of gossip and a gourmet lunch for two. She entertained, even after her conviction on pandering charges, from the comfy depths of her blue four-poster bed at her home near Doheny Drive, surrounded by knickknacks and meowing cats, which she fed fresh shrimp from blue china plates. XXXII. She stole my business, my books, my girls, my guys. I had a good run. My creatures. Make Mommy happy Oh! He is the most enchanting cat that I have ever known. She was, how can I say it, classy. When she first hired me she thought I was too young to take her case. I was 43. I'm going to give you some gray hairs by the time this is over. She was right. XXXIII. I was fond of Heidi But she has a streak that is so vindictive. If there is pure evil, it is Madame Alex. XXXIV. I was born and raised in L.A. My dad was a famous pediatrician. When he died, they donated a bench to him at the Griffith Park Observatory. I think that Heidi wanted to try her wings pretty early, and I think that she met some people who sort of took all her potential and gave it a sharp turn She knew nothing. She was like a little parrot who repeated what she was supposed to say. Alex and I had a very intense relationship; I was kind of like the daughter she loved and hated, so she was abusive and loving at the same time. Look, I know Madam Alex was great at what she did but it's like this: What took her years to build, I built in one. The high end is the high end, and no one has a higher end than me. In this business, no one steals clients. There's just better service. XXXV. You were not allowed to have long hair You were not allowed to be too pretty You were not allowed to wear too much makeup or be too glamorous Because someone would fall in love with you and take you away. And then she loses the business XXXVI. I was pursued because come on in our lifetime, we will never see another girl of my age who lived the way I did, who did what I did so quickly, I made so many enemies. Some people had been in this line of business for their whole lives, 30 or 40 years, and I came in and cornered the market. Men don't like that. Women don't like that. No one liked it. I had this spiritual awakening watching an Oprah Winfrey video. I was doing this 500-hour drug class and one day the teacher showed us this video, called something like Make It Happen. Usually in class I would bring a notebook and write a letter to my brother or my journal, but all of a sudden this grabbed my attention and I understood everything she said. It hit me and it changed me a lot. It made me feel, Accept yourself for who you are. I saw a deeper meaning in it but who knows, I might have just been getting my period that day! XXXVII. Hello, Gina! You movie star! Yes you are! Gina G! Hello my friend, Hello my friend, Hello my movie star, Ruby! Ruby Boobie! Braaawk! Except so many women say, Come on, Heidi you gotta do the brothel for us; don't let us down. It would be kind of fun opening up an exclusive resort, and I'll make it really nice, like the Beverly Hills Hotel It'll feel private; you'll have your own bungalow. The only problem out here is the climate—it's so brutal. Charles Manson was captured a half hour from Pahrump. I said, Joe! What are you doing? You gotta get, like, a garter belt and encase it in something and write, This belonged to Suzette Whatever, who entertained the Flying Tigers during World War II. Get, like, some weird tools and write, These were the first abortion tools in the brothel, you know what I mean? Just make some **** up! So I came out here to do some research And then I realized, What am I doing? I'm Heidi Fleiss. I don't need anyone. I can do this. When I was doing my research, in three months I saw land go from 30 thousand an acre to 50 thousand an acre, and then it was going for 70K! It's urban sprawl —we're only one hour from Las Vegas. Out here the casinos are only going to get bigger, prostitution is legal, it's only getting better. XXXVIII. The truth is deep down inside, I just can't do business with him He's the type of guy who buys Cup o' Noodles soup for three cents and makes his hookers buy it back from him for $5. It's not my style at all. Who wants to be 75 and facing federal charges? It was different at my age when I at least...come on, I lived really well. I was 22, 25 at the time? It was fun then, but now I wouldn't want to deal with all that ******** —the girls and blah blah blah. But the money was really good. I would've told someone they were out of their ******* mind if they'd said in five years I'd be living with all these animals like this. It's ******** how I live; It's totally a nonfunctional atmosphere for me It's hard to get anything done because It’s so time-consuming. I feel like they're good luck though.... I do feel that if I ever get rid of them, I will be jinxed and cursed the rest of my life and nothing I do will ever work again. Guys kind of are a hindrance to me Certainly I have no problem getting laid or anything. But a man is not a priority in my life. I mean, it's crazy, but I really have fun with my parrots. XXXIX. I started a babysitting circle when I wasn't much older than 9 And soon all the parents in the neighborhood wanted me to watch over their children. Even then I had an innate business sense. I started farming out my friends to meet the demand. My mother showered me with love and my father, a pediatrician, would ask me at the dinner table, What did you learn today? I ran my neighborhood. I just pick up a hustle really easily, I was a waitress and I met an older guy who looked like Santa Claus. Alex was a 5' 3" bald-headed Filipina in a transparent muu muu. We hit it off. I didn't know at the time that I was there to pay off the guy's gambling debt. It's in and out, over and out. Do you think some big-time producer or actor is going to go to the clubs and hustle? Columbia Pictures executive says: I haven’t done anything that should cause any concern. Jeez, it's like the Nixon enemies list. I hope I'm on it. If I'm not, it means I must not be big enough for people to gossip about me. That's right ladies and gentlemen. I am an alleged madam and that is a $25 ***** If you live out here, you've got to hate people. You've got to be pretty antisocial How you gonna come out here with only 86 people? That's Fred. He's digging to China. You look good. Yeah, you too. It's coming along here. Yeah, it is. I wanted to buy that lot there, but I guess it's gone? That's mine, man! That's all me. Really? I thought there was a lot between us. No. We're neighbors. He's a cute guy He's entertaining. See, I kind of did do something shady to him. I thought my property went all the way back and butted up against his. But there was one lot between us right there. He said he was buying it, but I saw the 'For Sale' sign still up there, So I went and called the broker and said, I'm an all-cash buyer. So I really bought it out from under him. But he's got plenty of room, and I need the space for my parrots. Pahrump will always be Pahrump, but Crystal is going to be nice All you need are four or five fancy houses and it'll flush everyone out and it'll be a nice area. They're all kind of weird here, but these people will go. Like this guy here, someone needs to **** him. I was just saying to my dad that these parrots are born to a really ******** world He goes, Heidi, no, no; the world is a beautiful garden. It's just, people are destroying it. I’m looking into green building options I don't want anything polluting, I want a huge auditorium, but it'll be like a jungle where my birds can really fly! Where they can really do what they're supposed to do. There were over 300 birds in there! That lady, She ran the exotic-birds department for the Tropicana Hotel, which is a huge job. She called me once at 3:30 in the morning Come over here and help me feed this baby! Some baby parrot. And I ran over there in my pajamas —I knew there was something else wrong and she was like Get me my oxygen! Get me this, get me that. I called my dad; he was like, I don't know, honey, you better call the paramedics. They ended up getting a helicopter. And they were taking her away in the wind with her IV and blood and everything and she goes, Heidi, you take care of my birds. And she dies the next day. She was just a super-duper person. XL. I relate to the lifestyle she had before, Now, I'm just a citizen. I'm clean, I'm sober, I'm married, I work at Wal-Mart. I'm proud to say I know her. I look into her eyes and we relate. I got out in 2000, so I've been sending her money for seven years She was…whatever. Girlfriend? Yeah, maybe. But *** I tried like two times, and I'm just not gay. She gets out in about eight or nine months and I told her I would get her a house. But nowhere near me. I didn't touch her, but I'd be, like... a funny story: I told her, Don't you ever ******* think about contacting me in the real world. I'm not a lesbian. Then about two years ago, I got an e-mail from her, or she called me and said, 'Google my name.' So I Googled her name, and she has this huge company. Huge! She won, like, Woman of the Year awards. So I called her and I go, Not bad. She goes, 'Well, I did all that because you called me a loser.' I go, 'Damn, I should've called you more names you probably would've found the cure for cancer by now. XLI. No person shall be employed by the licensee who has ever been convicted of a felony involving moral turpitude But I qualify, I mean, big deal, so I'm a convicted felon. Being in the *** industry, you can't be so squeaky-clean. You've got to be hustling. Nighttime is really enchanting here It's like a whole 'nother world out here, it really is I’m so far removed from my social life and old surroundings. Who was it, Oscar Wilde, I think, who said people can adjust to anything. I was perfectly adjusted in the penitentiary, and I was perfectly adjusted to living in a château in France. We had done those drug addiction shows together Dr. Drew. Afterward we were friendly and he'd call me every now and then. He'd act like he had his stuff together. But it was all a lie. Everything is a lie. I brought him to a Humane Society event at Paramount Studios last year. He was just such a mess. So out of it. He stole money from my purse. He's such a drug addict because he's so afraid of being fat. He liked horse **** though. He did like horse **** This one woman that would have *** with a horse on the internet, He told me that’s his favorite actress. Better than Meryl Streep. XLII. The cops could see why these women were taking over trade. Girls with these looks charged upwards of $500 an hour. The Russians had undercut them with a bargain rate of $150 an hour. One thing they are not is lazy. In the USSR they grew up with no religion, no morality. Prostitution is not considered a bad thing. In fact, it’s considered a great way to make money. That’s why it’s exploding here. What we saw was just a tip of the iceberg. These girls didn’t come over here expecting to be nannies. They knew exactly what they wanted and what they were getting into. The madam who organized this raid was making $4 million a year, laundered through Russian-owned banks in New York City These are brutal people. They are all backstabbers. They’re entrepreneurs. They’re looking at $10,000 a month for turning tricks. For them, that’s the American dream. XLIII. If you’re not into something, don’t be into it But, if you want to take some whipped cream, put it between your toes, have your dog licking it up and, at the same time, have your girlfriend poke you in the eye, then that’s fine. That’s a little weird but we shouldn’t judge. She was my best friend then and I consider her one of my best friends now, because when I was going through Riker’s and everyone abandoned me, including my boyfriend, I was hysterical, crying, and she was the one that was there. And, when somebody needed to step up to the plate, that’s who did, and I have an immense amount of loyalty, respect, and love for her. And if she’s going to prison for eight years —that’s what she’s sentenced for —I’ll go there, and I’ll go there every week, for eight years. That’s the type of person I am.

1168

Letter Written By: Anonymous Gender: Unknown Location: Classified Time: Unsure *Alright, my fellow partners, your patience has paid off, you will now see, my promise was never scoffed Please do, put your wonders and theories aside, I beckon, let victory and rest abide I have seen her... Indeed I have... No Lie, I can assure. If I may, introduce the beginning, with a normal work day for me, doing her bidding...* "Ma'am? Tis a brighter morning then usual I can assure you. The flowers in your fathers garden are full and blue" With Pleasure I spoke as I knocked upon her white wooden door that blended in with the walls and floor. "Tis nice dear worker, close friend... to hear such happy things... but it's those things that, very soon, disappear in the end... " I lightly laid a gentle hand over the **** and I not even through this letter, can I describe the ice biting concern that throbbed. "Ma'dam, Dear lady, forgive me, but this close friend, has not seen Thy self for days, has our bond growth weak?" Thy Ma'dam chose not to speakth for a time. My shallow mind began to think that my words, her ears, have chosen to decline ".... Dear?" I voiced with hesitation. But comfort soon sprouted once her door unlocked it'self to me, to reveal the situation With caution and a sense of danger, I entered my self into the room... the room that changed... along with her How do I explain’th without sounding as if I have lost it? Physically, nothing of the room was altered, but... the mentality and purpose of the room was disordered. My eyes wavered on what was once colorful, and lovely, but is now dark.. but depressingly beautiful.. quiet a discovery... "You've entered. Desperate to see'th me? Come closer then Thy servant, if you summon your agree, "I do Ma'dam, I would not swear my life on a lie to thee. If I am, in a second, my heart, I **** Deep apologies for my impatient and anxious course of my next actions. Because through it, I felt a cold rock scrapping force. I ran... Indeed I ran, how childish of me I will admit. But my feet magnetized themselves to ground, the darkness would not permit. "....My... my Dear Ma'dam?" I questioned, for there she gracefully stood, but deathly she starred at me, and distressful, I forgot to mention. "Your right... it is a bright morning..." She said as black lip smile formed upon that gorgeous pale face. Very slowly, she'd walk along the side of the curtain so more light may be revealed. Alas such glory! "I am ashamed of you, you see me in shadows cloak... You have now witnessed the brokenness Pain provoked." "But, my Dark Ma'dam! Why display your distress in such an abyss of a dress?" I questioned as I knelt at her highness's feet, the feet that had slipped into darkness; Defeat. "Rise'th now, my brilliant friend, it is the time I stand weak where you must stand strong. A phase everyone goes through; and yes, it maybe long." ...I should'th rise... but my weak heart was rebellious to her commands... I refused... I declined to stand Her breath did quicken, yes, a heavy burden hand laid'th on my shoulder... and it pressed "Forgive me... Princess" I quickly spoke'th as I rose and dared to look into her eyes of starry highness. "What I display... I dare not hide, for it is wise to release these mournful memories... to let them go... to let them die..." I felt guilty... I'm afraid... that I felt so scared to stand alongside her... after making such a statement... cursed fear... "Go... Do tell me when a brighter morning comes to visit me... I hope'th, that it'll be soon, possibly on the same day of the new moon..." "A new moon? For sure Ma'dam? I don't mean to flaunt, but I feel it's necessary to warn you... those nights are quit the trap... quit the threatening haunt..." She didn't speak'th a word, those cold shouldered eyes spoke words I didn't think eye could speak; I heard. She turned her laced corset back towards my direction, closing the conversation, leaving my mind in suspension... and with my pupils rearrange in focus on the sorrowful expression on my devoted one's face, I left her presence, my happiness erased... Can you see? Can you see the desperate help she is in? and yet you, your family, you fear-filled chickens of a flock tell me join in? I must end this letter and not tell you anymore... If you truly cared.. I know you would come back.. if you honestly dared... I am not fully sure what I must do'th for my dear Ma'dam Princess... But I know the poor thing... Is the Dark Ma'dam of Distress

0

Jun 12, 2018

Jun 12, 2018 at 8:45 AM UTC

ClawedBeauty101

•♥•The Dark Ma'dam of Distress•♥•

Letter Written By: Anonymous Gender: Unknown Location: Classified Time: Unsure *Alright, my fellow partners, your patience has paid off, you will now see, my promise was never scoffed Please do, put your wonders and theories aside, I beckon, let victory and rest abide I have seen her... Indeed I have... No Lie, I can assure. If I may, introduce the beginning, with a normal work day for me, doing her bidding...* "Ma'am? Tis a brighter morning then usual I can assure you. The flowers in your fathers garden are full and blue" With Pleasure I spoke as I knocked upon her white wooden door that blended in with the walls and floor. "Tis nice dear worker, close friend... to hear such happy things... but it's those things that, very soon, disappear in the end... " I lightly laid a gentle hand over the **** and I not even through this letter, can I describe the ice biting concern that throbbed. "Ma'dam, Dear lady, forgive me, but this close friend, has not seen Thy self for days, has our bond growth weak?" Thy Ma'dam chose not to speakth for a time. My shallow mind began to think that my words, her ears, have chosen to decline ".... Dear?" I voiced with hesitation. But comfort soon sprouted once her door unlocked it'self to me, to reveal the situation With caution and a sense of danger, I entered my self into the room... the room that changed... along with her How do I explain’th without sounding as if I have lost it? Physically, nothing of the room was altered, but... the mentality and purpose of the room was disordered. My eyes wavered on what was once colorful, and lovely, but is now dark.. but depressingly beautiful.. quiet a discovery... "You've entered. Desperate to see'th me? Come closer then Thy servant, if you summon your agree, "I do Ma'dam, I would not swear my life on a lie to thee. If I am, in a second, my heart, I **** Deep apologies for my impatient and anxious course of my next actions. Because through it, I felt a cold rock scrapping force. I ran... Indeed I ran, how childish of me I will admit. But my feet magnetized themselves to ground, the darkness would not permit. "....My... my Dear Ma'dam?" I questioned, for there she gracefully stood, but deathly she starred at me, and distressful, I forgot to mention. "Your right... it is a bright morning..." She said as black lip smile formed upon that gorgeous pale face. Very slowly, she'd walk along the side of the curtain so more light may be revealed. Alas such glory! "I am ashamed of you, you see me in shadows cloak... You have now witnessed the brokenness Pain provoked." "But, my Dark Ma'dam! Why display your distress in such an abyss of a dress?" I questioned as I knelt at her highness's feet, the feet that had slipped into darkness; Defeat. "Rise'th now, my brilliant friend, it is the time I stand weak where you must stand strong. A phase everyone goes through; and yes, it maybe long." ...I should'th rise... but my weak heart was rebellious to her commands... I refused... I declined to stand Her breath did quicken, yes, a heavy burden hand laid'th on my shoulder... and it pressed "Forgive me... Princess" I quickly spoke'th as I rose and dared to look into her eyes of starry highness. "What I display... I dare not hide, for it is wise to release these mournful memories... to let them go... to let them die..." I felt guilty... I'm afraid... that I felt so scared to stand alongside her... after making such a statement... cursed fear... "Go... Do tell me when a brighter morning comes to visit me... I hope'th, that it'll be soon, possibly on the same day of the new moon..." "A new moon? For sure Ma'dam? I don't mean to flaunt, but I feel it's necessary to warn you... those nights are quit the trap... quit the threatening haunt..." She didn't speak'th a word, those cold shouldered eyes spoke words I didn't think eye could speak; I heard. She turned her laced corset back towards my direction, closing the conversation, leaving my mind in suspension... and with my pupils rearrange in focus on the sorrowful expression on my devoted one's face, I left her presence, my happiness erased... Can you see? Can you see the desperate help she is in? and yet you, your family, you fear-filled chickens of a flock tell me join in? I must end this letter and not tell you anymore... If you truly cared.. I know you would come back.. if you honestly dared... I am not fully sure what I must do'th for my dear Ma'dam Princess... But I know the poor thing... Is the Dark Ma'dam of Distress

44

Le Madam She is most like her age Time having eroded some of her natural beauty A few warts have appeared here and there in spots Yet there is this blend of young and old alike melded into one She has transformed herself from bilingual to multi-lingual Despite this her character has little changed over a long existence The night life she relishes still as vibrant as ever If she was a building one would say she had age and charm Her busyness belies her serenity Blessed with a deep history she exudes confidence Allowing her to grow and prosper Into whom she is today Nothing can dampen her spirit it seems Though sometimes turbulent periods have been had Through it all a humorist slant developed and enjoyed by many Her name Montreal Andreas Simic©

0

Apr 29, 2018

Apr 29, 2018 at 7:22 AM UTC

andreas-simic

Le Madam

Le Madam She is most like her age Time having eroded some of her natural beauty A few warts have appeared here and there in spots Yet there is this blend of young and old alike melded into one She has transformed herself from bilingual to multi-lingual Despite this her character has little changed over a long existence The night life she relishes still as vibrant as ever If she was a building one would say she had age and charm Her busyness belies her serenity Blessed with a deep history she exudes confidence Allowing her to grow and prosper Into whom she is today Nothing can dampen her spirit it seems Though sometimes turbulent periods have been had Through it all a humorist slant developed and enjoyed by many Her name Montreal Andreas Simic©

18

Sitting at the desk where so many white men have sat. Sitting as the rats pick up their bats, ready to bash. Throwing trash about to clash all because she didn't win a sash that said she was feminine enough to be liked But masculine enough to be respected. She is better than expected. she connected, Corrected and directed this country in their time of need. And I need her! We Need her! I want to be Her. But if I cannot be her at least I would like to see her. Lips red from where she ****** the competition dry Arm strong from where she pulled herself out of the grave she was born in. And when she pulls herself to that podium? That is the new morning. And while the rats are mourning The age of American women will be dawning! She will be Drawn in a glorious light in the temples of women's minds. And she will not just be kind But ruthless/\ be soft And still impenetrable like steel Not be pretty. But absolutely gorgeous And we will call her Diana because a Ruthless, toothless Amazonian Wonder woman she is. The president? Yeah you can call her Madam because no longer is she the biblical white man Adam And Madam president? Will be no longer a phantom. Because just like Christine she only appears real to me. Madam has a nice ring to I could sing to it Praise to it. Bathe to it And while a phantom she will no longer be She is an angle of music to me. And when my daydreams are no longer daydreams But every woman's wet dream become a reality. I just hope everyone understands she didn't get here for free. She wasn't dining with the queen at high tea. She was using the breaststroke to cross the black sea All to become the barbie you and me need to see. The strong barbie The I don't take no **** barbie No longer coy No longer submissive I’ll be a ***** if I have to Barbie. Unlike the African queen Cleopatra She will not be bit. That will not be the end of it. Madam President I could get used to it.

0

Feb 9, 2018

Feb 9, 2018 at 11:35 AM UTC

Janna_Anderson

Madam President

Sitting at the desk where so many white men have sat. Sitting as the rats pick up their bats, ready to bash. Throwing trash about to clash all because she didn't win a sash that said she was feminine enough to be liked But masculine enough to be respected. She is better than expected. she connected, Corrected and directed this country in their time of need. And I need her! We Need her! I want to be Her. But if I cannot be her at least I would like to see her. Lips red from where she ****** the competition dry Arm strong from where she pulled herself out of the grave she was born in. And when she pulls herself to that podium? That is the new morning. And while the rats are mourning The age of American women will be dawning! She will be Drawn in a glorious light in the temples of women's minds. And she will not just be kind But ruthless/\ be soft And still impenetrable like steel Not be pretty. But absolutely gorgeous And we will call her Diana because a Ruthless, toothless Amazonian Wonder woman she is. The president? Yeah you can call her Madam because no longer is she the biblical white man Adam And Madam president? Will be no longer a phantom. Because just like Christine she only appears real to me. Madam has a nice ring to I could sing to it Praise to it. Bathe to it And while a phantom she will no longer be She is an angle of music to me. And when my daydreams are no longer daydreams But every woman's wet dream become a reality. I just hope everyone understands she didn't get here for free. She wasn't dining with the queen at high tea. She was using the breaststroke to cross the black sea All to become the barbie you and me need to see. The strong barbie The I don't take no **** barbie No longer coy No longer submissive I’ll be a ***** if I have to Barbie. Unlike the African queen Cleopatra She will not be bit. That will not be the end of it. Madam President I could get used to it.

48

he once brazed her with coke that her millennium was solid rock as Griselda went toe to toe but trafficked crack by 2012 while coffee was her mainstay that her valley would meet the sea, her proponent in Antioquia when she'd expedite crack for FARC

0

Nov 30, 2017

Nov 30, 2017 at 11:49 AM UTC

poetman

Griselda Bean

he once brazed her with coke that her millennium was solid rock as Griselda went toe to toe but trafficked crack by 2012 while coffee was her mainstay that her valley would meet the sea, her proponent in Antioquia when she'd expedite crack for FARC

8

Full of good thoughts and memories refine Full of wise words for all to opine Never behaved in school against doctrine Varsha is prepared without any supine. Growth she made in the school is fine Even the students could no longer define Her aid for others was just like brine So that they stand still like a pine. She was a dear mentor, and a gin: Separating vice from us and combine Our grief with joy to keep all in line. From whom I learnt how to always grin In adverse situations and start from begin So that new fight and efforts lead you to win. She had a dream to make everyone Einstein. She is one who is behind us against decline And forces us to proceed in God’s design; Ecstasy, Elation, Rapture is solely mine When I went with her knowledge to dine. Can there be another Varsha Madama inn Where pilgrims like Monorhyme mine Rest and prosper and flourish divine. A lady so acute, dedicated and divine Is scare to find and is the wonder nine.

0

Oct 9, 2017

Oct 9, 2017 at 8:41 PM UTC

ksjpari

Monorhyme on Varsha Madam

Full of good thoughts and memories refine Full of wise words for all to opine Never behaved in school against doctrine Varsha is prepared without any supine. Growth she made in the school is fine Even the students could no longer define Her aid for others was just like brine So that they stand still like a pine. She was a dear mentor, and a gin: Separating vice from us and combine Our grief with joy to keep all in line. From whom I learnt how to always grin In adverse situations and start from begin So that new fight and efforts lead you to win. She had a dream to make everyone Einstein. She is one who is behind us against decline And forces us to proceed in God’s design; Ecstasy, Elation, Rapture is solely mine When I went with her knowledge to dine. Can there be another Varsha Madama inn Where pilgrims like Monorhyme mine Rest and prosper and flourish divine. A lady so acute, dedicated and divine Is scare to find and is the wonder nine.

24

HILLARY HAS SPOKEN OUT ON THE ELECTION SHE HAD LOST NOW SHE LOOKS BACK WITH TIME TO COUNT THE COST HILLARY MAY OF WON AND BE MADAM PRESIDENT TODAY BUT WITH ALL THE INTERFERENCE SHE IS NOW ON HER WAY NOW DONALD TRUMP IS PRESIDENT AND WE WILL NEVER KNOW FOR IF HILLARY WAS PRESIDENT SHE WOULD GIVE IT A DAM GOOD GO

0

May 6, 2017

May 6, 2017 at 2:22 AM UTC

mark-riordan

HILLARY SPEAKS OUT

HILLARY HAS SPOKEN OUT ON THE ELECTION SHE HAD LOST NOW SHE LOOKS BACK WITH TIME TO COUNT THE COST HILLARY MAY OF WON AND BE MADAM PRESIDENT TODAY BUT WITH ALL THE INTERFERENCE SHE IS NOW ON HER WAY NOW DONALD TRUMP IS PRESIDENT AND WE WILL NEVER KNOW FOR IF HILLARY WAS PRESIDENT SHE WOULD GIVE IT A DAM GOOD GO

12