#loveispain
You were a rose.
As beautiful as its soft, red petals.
Even a perfect rose has flaws––its thorns.
And, My Darling, you've stricken me.
Jan 1, 2025
Jan 1, 2025 at 1:36 AM UTC
Once again I lay awake
In our bed
My arm is numb from your heavy head
I slip away to do my deeds
Although I know the moon is watching me
Just stay in silence
Because change only comes
When I've come term with my weighted down heart
So let the moon be my guide
Even though it's not always bright
For fifteen days I walk though dark
And the 15 other I play the part
That you need from me
In order for me to keep my conscious clean
Ill tell you stories to make me look smart
But i am dense and dull and dumb
No matter what you'll see me as the one
Aug 4, 2017
Aug 4, 2017 at 6:01 AM UTC
What we have is nuts, crazy, mad
But it's just that
I like to laugh instead of being sad
I like to giggle so people know I'm not that bad
Mr.J knows that
He gets what they don't
He sees what they wouldn't
When I'm with him I feel warm
Not alone
I'm damaged but so is he
I find it hard to manage
But not with him
You see?
Do you see he just gets me?
My 'Puddin makes me happy
Even tho I'm the baddest bady
We're meant to be
Sometime we paint white roses red
Each shade from a different person head
Don't look at me
Or you'll lay in your dead bed
Don't dream
Dream is a killer sometimes we get drunk with a blue caterpillar
He's peeling the skin of my face
Cause I really hate being safe
The normals they make me afraid
The crazies they make me feels safe
I'm nuts baby I'm mad
The craziest friend that you ever had
You think I'm ******
You think I'm gone
Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong
Over the bend entirely bonkers
He likes me best when I'm of my rocker
Tell you a secret I'm not alarmed
So what if I'm crazy... all the best people are
He thinks I'm crazy
He thinks I'm gone
I think he's crazy to
I know he's gone
That's probably the reason that we get along
Dec 3, 2016
Dec 3, 2016 at 5:11 AM UTC
Looking at you is painful.
Seeing you smile at her
the way you used to smile at me
is an unspeakable torment.
Hearing you laugh at pathetic jokes
and make meaningless small talk
feels like my insides are being squeezed
in an unrelenting vice.
I bite my lower lip
to keep it from trembling.
I want to swallow my tongue;
not because I have so many things
to say to you but because
I have nothing.
There are no words.
There are no words to describe
this pain--this pain of having loved you
in the only way I know how.
Of having lost you.
Only to be here, seated before you
to watch you look at her
the way you used to look at me.
There are no words to convey
the sheer torment of crying inside,
of screaming within my skull,
of burning my heart on a spit
while appearing unaffected.
The smile is frozen on my lips,
but the lights and colors begin
to melt in a confusing mosaic
of my silent tears. "Don't.
Don't let them know how much
you're dying inside," I tell myself.
I'm running after my breath,
trying to get hold of myself.
I close my fists into tight ***** on my lap,
digging half-moons on my palm--
shaking and clammy.
I'm choking through my grin.
And you're just sitting there
without a clue.
Because there are no words.
There is nothing.
There is no you.
There is no me.
You have gone.
Along with all the words that there ever were
and there ever will be.
Nov 12, 2015
Nov 12, 2015 at 3:28 AM UTC