#loveish
I cut my hair
stopped talking to my friends
stopped watching that show
stopped going out
I acted how you liked
And I was silent about the things you didn’t
I grew apart from someone I knew for 13 years
I stopped eating
Stopped sleeping
I obsessed with my self of how “it’s so funny” that
I waited for your call even when I hung up
I got quite
I didn’t talk for months
I was silent that birthday.
Turning into a stranger who lived in my skin
Always listening
I spent all my silence reading a dozen
books about psychology
“There must be something wrong with me”
From that point on I couldn’t hang onto people any longer
I could talk to people but it seemed never “friends”
Bearly ‘friendly’
I couldn’t eat once again
I couldn’t feel pain
It felt like I couldn’t do anything
I shattered my self
Just to feel ‘anything.’.
Feb 25
Feb 25, 2026 at 11:26 PM UTC
You make me smile
when nothing else can.
Yet I start to cry
at the thought
of seeing you.
Perhaps because
you remind me
of what I’ll never have.
What I want
so desperately
but can’t seem to grasp.
It’s held
just out of reach
when you make me laugh,
or hug me close.
What,
you ask,
could I want
so badly?
You.
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 14, 2018 at 12:39 AM UTC
What?
What is this?
What is this feeling?
It tingles,
it feels warm;
so comfortable.
I could snuggle in it forever.
Now it used to feel warm.
Now it used to be comfortable.
It feels cold.
Colder than absolute zero.
It hurts.
Hurts more than a thousand gashes I put on my arm
What mysterious pain;
yet forlorn.
Dec 11, 2017
Dec 11, 2017 at 1:15 PM UTC
I burnt myself making dinner again.
This time it was my arm, not my hand.
I want to be better.
I have to be better.
I know I have to be patient,
But it hurts me when I see that sliver
Of... whatever it is, in your eyes.
Maybe it's disappointment.
Maybe it's fear.
I know I have to get worse before I get better,
But I don't want to lose you.
Mar 8, 2017
Mar 8, 2017 at 7:39 PM UTC
I'm not the girl you'd write songs about
Or even a poem
I'm not the one you'd write home about
Or even mention
I'm not the girl you'd stay up thinking about
Or on the phone with till 2am
You're not going to cry over me
Or read about me in a book
I'm not going to break your heart
Cause you'll never fall
Not for me at least
Cause I'm not the girl
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 12:04 AM UTC