#losttheplot
What would happen if she saw me now?
My cuts, scars, fake smiles, my starved body.
All of it.
She might cry.
No, she'd be confused.
Maybe she'd give me a hug.
We all know I need it.
Maybe she'd give me bandaids.
The ones with cartoon princesses.
Maybe she'd ask me to play on the trampoline with her
Or with her dolls.
I'd call her by my nickname
She'd tell me, 'Mum said not to let anyone call me that.'
Maybe she'd share her coloured pencils with me
and we'd do colouring ins
Maybe she'd make me watch Dora The Explorer
or ABC Kids
Maybe we'd ride bikes up and down the street
or go to the playground across the street.
Maybe she'd tell me about her friends
Not knowing how ****** they actually are.
She'd tell me she feels like she eats too much.
Thanks to Mum for planting that seed
Pointing it out
Maybe she'd take me to the block
and we can drive the quad bike
Maybe we'd draw stick figures in the dirt in out front yard
Give them a happy life story
Or maybe we'll make sandcastles in the sandpit in the backyard
Maybe we'd play on the swingset
Or have a game of hide and seek inside.
Maybe we'd be fairies
Maybe we'd be mermaids
Maybe we'd be superspies
Maybe we'll watch barbie movies.
Maybe we'll be happy.
.
.
.
Maybe I'd lie to her and tell her we'll always be that way.
May 16
May 16, 2026 at 7:50 AM UTC
I watched from a distance
As we swayed and danced
To music made for no-one
But the two of us
Paying no mind to strangers
Who called us out
Who called us weird
Who said you weren't enough.
I watched from a distance
As your breath hitched, your steps faltered
Your record scratched
And my hologram never heard it.
Until I felt your hand slipping from mine
Was your smile always this strained?
You didn't tell anyone
You made your last day count
Now I count how many breaths
Since you were still with me
Since I knocked on your door and it never opened.
May 16
May 16, 2026 at 5:36 AM UTC
I was eight years old
When you sat me down.
You wanted me pretty enough to be sold.
Not fat like a clown.
"Just control your eating."
I never took you seriously.
Years of not competing.
My silhouette anything but lovely.
Until my image digusted myself.
And your words echoed in my mind.
So I began carving into something for a shelf.
Knowing the road wont be kind.
Yet, mother, you still aren't happy.
With what I've become.
Even after following your advice literally.
"Its too light to weigh forty-one"
What will it take to satisfy you?
Apr 21
Apr 21, 2026 at 10:52 AM UTC
"No, please no!"
I beg.
Desperately. Miserably. Lifelessly.
The demons in my mind.
With claws and teeth and tails,
And malice in their eyes.
As they whispered incantations.
Words sweet like honey.
I fall.
Down the pit they dug for me.
During my recovery.
Only this time, they left no escape route.
Pushed to the edge by self loving-turned-loathing.
Thrown over the edge by my search for the light.
Landing in eternal darkness.
No hope left.
It's best they all forget.
Apr 18
Apr 18, 2026 at 10:06 AM UTC
Delilah stares at it all in awe.
Her soul walking
into his awaiting arms.
This day is finally here.
(Doubt and fear, exit stage right)
For them, there is no time left.
Eyes bright, pearly whites flashing.
Hoaxes holding her high,
Almost as tight as her grip on the bars of this cage.
If she didn't know any better
(Which she does not)
She would succumb to his sweet fruits.
Every brush of contact - Everything to her.
If he stole that too
from her well...
She's sure she would reduce to ashes.
Apr 16
Apr 16, 2026 at 1:44 AM UTC
Smooth and cool on my palm.
Enough to bring my mind some calm.
Quick, sharp, and hence,
Perfect for silence.
Never enough to **** just enough to feel.
In the hopes that one day, they may heal.
I see it in your eyes, your disappointment.
As you book me a doctor's appointment.
Hoping, praying that the drug's ruse
Will replace my need to tie a noose.
Apr 14
Apr 14, 2026 at 9:43 AM UTC
"Teachers know everything"
"Teachers are always paying attention"
"Teachers see everything"
They can see you using your phone in class.
They see you whispering with your friends.
They see your grades falling.
Though, they never seem to see why...
No adult in school sees the child with bruises on her neck
From a "loved one's" oh so loving grip.
They don't see the child bleeding under their sleeve.
Would they care if they did?
Adults don't hear the child's stomach rumbling.
This is his ninetieth hour.
They don't read the note I wrote in class.
The last thing I'd ever write..
Feb 19
Feb 19, 2026 at 3:57 AM UTC
You're silver, you shine
You call to me like Satan
Calling his sinners
Feb 17
Feb 17, 2026 at 7:12 AM UTC
You say 'the worst of the worst'
And we believed you
We let you onto our streets.
And you took.
You stole children from their mothers' arms
Husbands from their wives.
Sisters from their brothers.
Concealing your faces like cowards.
You said 'the worst of the worst'
So why are 73.6% of detainees innocent?
48 377 out of 65 735.
Read those numbers again.
You terrorise us, claiming to take the 'real' terrorists.
You can't solve a problem by being the problem.
You said 'the worst of the worst'
Then why are they gone?
Alex Pretti, Lucia Lopez Belloza, Genry Ruiz Gullien.
Countless others.
Who's calling the shots?
Everyone knows.
Maybe he gets some sick thrill from this.
The bloodshed of his people.
Jan 29
Jan 29, 2026 at 4:01 AM UTC
The thoughts and memories plague my mind.
Hollowing out my head
Until nothing remains in it
Besides you, beloved.
You do not haunt me, no
My final actions toward you do.
Abrupt texts fired in your direction
Thousands of miles of sea between us
Guilt that struck me then
And hasn't left since.
Apologies you'll never hear from me
Final words as I drown
In a sea of guilt
Dec 20, 2025
Dec 20, 2025 at 11:42 PM UTC
I hope you know
That you look and act like a pig.
You can call me rude and blunt:
I really don't give a ****
My only concern is making sure you know that what you are doing
Is wrong
Dec 2, 2025
Dec 2, 2025 at 3:02 AM UTC
I wonder if you can pry open my mind:
With nothing but a glance
And read through the lines of the storm that is my mind.
When you find the eye of my sound storm,
Please be gentle with the child who resies there.
Tell her about pretty things,
And shield her from reality.
Maybe it would be best if you send her far away.
Away from aches and pain
And the darkness that is
Her life
Dec 2, 2025
Dec 2, 2025 at 2:29 AM UTC
Darling, when I'm gone.
Please do not cry.
Walking away from this
From us
Is my decision.
I know you'll hurt when I'm gone tomorrow.
It'll hurt me too
But our love is like this earth:
Doomed
Only, this will be entirely my fault.
My love, I will never forget you
But I will beg you to forget me
Do not forgive, please forget.
Hold your tears,
I'm not worthy of them.
One day,
After my departure,
You will smile again
And I will thank the gods above that you are
Happy
As happy as you deserve
Dec 2, 2025
Dec 2, 2025 at 2:25 AM UTC
Why is it that when we cry,
we feel that pain physically?
Could it be that when our pain is too great
for our minds to handle
our bodies take it upon themselves
to offer some relief?
Dec 2, 2025
Dec 2, 2025 at 2:20 AM UTC
Maybe if someone had shown up
At just the right time
Before spirals, aches, numbness, pain, and scars
And they told me the right things
I'd just maybe be
happy
Dec 2, 2025
Dec 2, 2025 at 2:16 AM UTC
Remind me to thank you,
My love
For when I opened my mouth
To simply ask you
For a bouquet of flowers
You, my darling, gave me an entire field.
Now, I lay in bed
Alone
Your side is cold and the living room reeks of alcohol.
But I still feel your reminder.
Your field of violets
As they bloom across my body
And I pretend they don't hurt me
That you don't hurt me.
Dec 2, 2025
Dec 2, 2025 at 2:11 AM UTC
And to that old friend
The one who has made a home
In the bottomless pit in my stomach.
I welcome you back home until the end.
Forever, in the depths of my mind, I will let you roam.
In this Hell, you may hang your hammock.
I will fall to my knees for you
and pray
and you slowly
destroy me from the
inside out and, my love,
I wither away
for you.
And all you have done for me.
Nov 5, 2025
Nov 5, 2025 at 6:40 PM UTC
I've learned not to trust good days.
Because bad days always tag along
And I've learned the same rules apply to
Good moments
With a high
There comes a low
Every. Time.
Oct 4, 2025
Oct 4, 2025 at 9:17 AM UTC
Shattered glass on the side of a road.
Thrown out of a car window.
By a drunk.
On a highway.
Was once filled.
Once used and useful.
A bottle of *****
Chilled.
And bought when needed.
When one needs to forget.
When one's mind has become their worst enemy.
Their own mind.
And it plays their worst memories.
Like a sick and twisted *** tape.
Haunting.
Like those nights.
Words, screams, shouts.
Glass breaking, doors slamming, knives slicing.
Sweat dripping, tears dropping, blood spilling.
Then the silence.
And the recovery.
Though that's not what it really is...
Shattered glass on the side of the road.
Not from a bottle.
From a car window
A car with its bonnet a tree.
And a smiling dead body in the driver seat.
Sep 28, 2025
Sep 28, 2025 at 4:08 AM UTC
I used to scream for fun
And listen to my voice
as it bounced off the walls of my room
and came back to me.
Until the day my screams came back
They planted themselves in my head
And now, they live there
I haven't known the peace of quiet since then
Sep 25, 2025
Sep 25, 2025 at 9:29 AM UTC
Sometimes, I tend to
watch blood
as I make it gush
out of my body
like it hates me
too.
Sep 25, 2025
Sep 25, 2025 at 9:13 AM UTC
You look at her and see her beauty
I look at her and think what you think
I see her creative spark and the way she smiles.
Though, what she does not tell us
is that her mind
has ran out
of words
We have lost our window into her mind.
Sep 24, 2025
Sep 24, 2025 at 10:45 PM UTC
They come to me as whispers in the night
Though they don't strike at night
They catch me in broad daylight
Large hands that wrap around my throat
And they drag me back
When I try to run, when I try to escape
They grab me by the ankle and drown me in the dark and murky waters they reside by
They've made it very clear they don't like me
The people in my head... they don't like me.
Sep 23, 2025
Sep 23, 2025 at 1:52 AM UTC
Do not leave me alone with a pen and a scrap of paper.
For I will bleed.
For my mind will spill through my eyes.
Eyes that have seen more than they should have in fifteen years
Do not leave me in the kitchen.
They say it’s the most romantic room in a house
In a home.
But this is not a home
So here I serve
I serve you dinner
Dinner with a pen and a knife.
Sep 21, 2025
Sep 21, 2025 at 8:59 PM UTC
I don't know either.
Maybe I am drifting
Maybe I did something wrong
Maybe I'm losing my mind,
my sanity, my worth, my sense.
Or maybe I opened my eyes
And saw the thorns on your roses
through bleeding eyes.
Jun 13, 2025
Jun 13, 2025 at 3:20 AM UTC