#lookingback - Hello Poetry

To look back was not a weakness. It was love- Raw, and ruinous, but Orpheus knew it was his. Love is not always a sun shining through leaves, not always the warmth of her name in the morning. Sometimes, it is the hollow where Eurydice used to be A silence shaped exactly like her- as venomous as the snake that took her life. Sometimes, it is the unbearable weight of an absence that breathes. He did not turn because he stopped believing nor he doubted her. He turned because he was only a man, a vulnerable one at that. A man who had been walking for hours in the dark and could not hear her breathing anymore. Where darkness behind him had grown too unnervingly quiet- And that's that. That was all. That small, that humane necessity for longing, that ruinous desire to yearn: the silence where her footsteps should have been. He had crossed the river where the dead forget. He had knelt before the king of nothing and wept music into the stone. He had been given her back, almost. He had been given the cruelest word--- almost. He needed it the way lungs need air not wanting, but requiring. Even if that one glance unmade everything. Tell me, what would you have done? Walking blind, leading someone you cannot touch, cannot see, can only believe is behind you on the word of a god? He knew the rule. He carried it like a stone in his chest the whole way down, the whole way back. Do not look. Do not look. Do not look. But the silence stretched too long. And the thought arrived, the one you can never unthink once it has found you in the dark, you are bound to ask, "What if she was never there at all?" "What if they gave me only the sound of her, a ghost of a ghost, and I have been walking alone this whole time?" He looked back to make sure she was real. She was. .....and then, she wasn't. He crossed the dark for her. He bargained with gods who do not grieve. And still he lost her not for want of love, but drowned in the excess of it. Real love is not careful. It does not compose itself. It is a hand reaching through shadow for what it already knows is gone. So let him look back. In that one glance, he gave up eternity ...for one last second of her.

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May 10

May 10, 2026 at 3:54 PM UTC

Ferryman

Orpheus Unmade

To look back was not a weakness. It was love- Raw, and ruinous, but Orpheus knew it was his. Love is not always a sun shining through leaves, not always the warmth of her name in the morning. Sometimes, it is the hollow where Eurydice used to be A silence shaped exactly like her- as venomous as the snake that took her life. Sometimes, it is the unbearable weight of an absence that breathes. He did not turn because he stopped believing nor he doubted her. He turned because he was only a man, a vulnerable one at that. A man who had been walking for hours in the dark and could not hear her breathing anymore. Where darkness behind him had grown too unnervingly quiet- And that's that. That was all. That small, that humane necessity for longing, that ruinous desire to yearn: the silence where her footsteps should have been. He had crossed the river where the dead forget. He had knelt before the king of nothing and wept music into the stone. He had been given her back, almost. He had been given the cruelest word--- almost. He needed it the way lungs need air not wanting, but requiring. Even if that one glance unmade everything. Tell me, what would you have done? Walking blind, leading someone you cannot touch, cannot see, can only believe is behind you on the word of a god? He knew the rule. He carried it like a stone in his chest the whole way down, the whole way back. Do not look. Do not look. Do not look. But the silence stretched too long. And the thought arrived, the one you can never unthink once it has found you in the dark, you are bound to ask, "What if she was never there at all?" "What if they gave me only the sound of her, a ghost of a ghost, and I have been walking alone this whole time?" He looked back to make sure she was real. She was. .....and then, she wasn't. He crossed the dark for her. He bargained with gods who do not grieve. And still he lost her not for want of love, but drowned in the excess of it. Real love is not careful. It does not compose itself. It is a hand reaching through shadow for what it already knows is gone. So let him look back. In that one glance, he gave up eternity ...for one last second of her.