#lookback
Just because the battle was won,
Does not. mean it was less of a battle.
If someone else won their war,
Be glad. you didn't pay victory's toll.
Jan 28
Jan 28, 2026 at 9:51 AM UTC
I recognise bits of the road
connections are gone
signposts are still missing
The numbers can be counted
the seasons, homes, friends
The rest is a dream cord
of desires and parties
unrequited love
and perfect moments:
memories in the deep
black, lighting up
as floating islands
with graceful peaks
of adventures
a journey
through the abysses of the night
that make children cry
and me?
Oct 30, 2025
Oct 30, 2025 at 4:33 AM UTC
You think you'd have another chance
to make a dying wish
I was thinking I would take an endless glance
over some long lost art
We thought our tongues could have another dance
with an exceptionally good dish
We think we'd have another go
over things involving me and you
You were thinking there'll be more tomorrow
until tomorrow becomes "please, just go"
I thought I can have another taste of you
until your restaurant updates its new menu
until finally, there's no more me and you
Aug 29, 2023
Aug 29, 2023 at 2:22 PM UTC
among the skyscrapers my mind wander
how narrow my sight was
to only surmise what one might feel
realizing there are more to conquer
so i take a step back
revisiting another possible tracks i could take
Mar 22, 2022
Mar 22, 2022 at 3:20 AM UTC
The reason why
We can't find our happiness,
Is because we're looking for it,
At the same place, we lost our first.
Not all the time we have to look far away,
The thing is it's everywhere,
Rotating round in our atmosphere,
We just have to appreciate it.
We can always look back,
In the story we made,
And not repeat those mistakes,
But to learn that we'd worked our best.
We brought us to this level,
Now, don't hang with the devil,
Let me deal with you at the end,
Encourage me to climb and gain it again.
Nov 5, 2020
Nov 5, 2020 at 6:28 AM UTC
“Don’t take this the wrong way,”
I tell him.
I look off into the distance.
“Just stay away from me.”
I begged him.
Sadness laced my voice but it was also firm.
He knew I was dead serious.
I looked into his eyes.
Hurting.
Confusion.
More hurting.
I was glad I hurt him.
I felt no guilt.
After all, that’s how he’s made me feel for the past three months.
But when I told him to stay away my intent was not to hurt him.
I told him because I want to stop hurting.
The way he passes glances my way,
his kindness,
his mannerisms…
It all hurts me.
Hell,
even hearing his voice stings my soul.
I can’t do it anymore.
I don’t want to hurt anymore.
He needs to stop looking at me,
stop being kind to me,
stop being a gentlemen,
stop talking to me.
He has another girl to look at,
be kind to,
be a gentleman to,
to talk to.
And that girl is not me.
I walked away.
I didn’t look back.
Aug 30, 2020
Aug 30, 2020 at 7:19 PM UTC
Lets go into the sun
Let me put my sunscreen on
3
2
1
8 O’clock on a Sunday night
Squad ready up and fight
3
2
1
Pour a whisky on the rocks
Sitting in a sorrow
What happened to the kid in me
Being happy and giddy
Wanting to be like Mike
But here I am, rocking a mic
Wondering what my life will be like
Sep 1, 2019
Sep 1, 2019 at 1:15 PM UTC
She wakes up with a shock, instantly feels the blood boil from her head down to her toes. Its the sound of that door.
The repetitive sound of that door slamming is a reminder of the poison in her life who seamlessly seeps into her heart continuing to infuse her mind with hate.
That door is used for a swinging entrance into her soul leaving it with touches of darkness until she simply can't understand how to love another person; how to empathize with another's time of distress. She loses touch, suffering to understand what love is.
The life who uses that door brought her into this world and smothers their existence with cold truths, lies, neglect, and stories of their past; inflicting damaging images and thoughts that cannot be unheard.
She's trying to persevere, but they persist to acknowledge their unreceptive response to her cry's for help, it destroys her light; leading her down the path where the poison starts to consume all her thoughts and distorts her rights to express herself with the constant feeling of never being heard.
You built darkness in her and every layer affects even the smallest of challenges in life but you left her with a flame of curiosity to understand what others could not even care to comprehend; she sustains her curiosity for life.
Mar 15, 2019
Mar 15, 2019 at 6:39 PM UTC
I sit back on the computer,
Browsing through the pages of those I grew up with
Those people who thought they knew everything about me
I sit back and see what they’ve made of themselves
This girl is single, living alone with her four cats
This other girl now has two kids, unmarried and no degree
This girl is engaged to her high school sweetheart, yet they don’t look happy
This other couple broke up, wait they’re back together, nope spoke too soon
This guy is working at the local supermarket, never went to college after his arrest
This guy gained a few pounds, no longer the star athlete
This guy dropped off the map
See being the quiet girl, I learned secrets
I knew the deepest secrets of every single one of these people
Because while they sat in the back of the room chattering on about their so called problems
I was sitting in the front,
Listening
This girl had two boyfriends, and even more flings
This girl slept with four guys in one night
This girl’s boyfriend cheated on her, over and over again
This couple would sneak off in between classes, during lunch, or school assemblies
This guy was the trophy child, who gave away free drugs to his friends hidden inside pens
This guy was the quarterback; everything handed to him on a golden platter
This guy was the school stud who was hiding a relationship with his boyfriend by sleeping with every girl he could
Back then I listened because I wanted to feel apart of something bigger
I wanted to be one of them,
I wanted to be invited to all those weekend bashes
I wanted to be the girl people felt awed by, inspired by, idolized
I wanted to be part of the “in” crowd
So I stood there, day after day
As they teased me
Berated me
Shattered my confidence
Tearing apart everything I was
Telling me I would never amount to anything
Telling me I was fat, ugly, stupid
That I unworthy of love
Telling me…
I
Was
Nothing
Let them tell me that today
I see everything of what they have become
Those people I wanted to be are no longer there
Their confidence shattered by reality
The best days of their life ended the day they left high school
Mine on the other hand are just beginning
I am the girl who is wanted
I’m the girl who can go wild
I’m the girl who can be passionate
I’m the girl who is adventurous
I’m the girl who brings pride
I’m the girl who is the athlete
I'm the girl who travels the world
I’m the girl who is unashamed of who I am
Because by pushing me out
My oppressors gave me everything I needed
The strength to try
The courage to dream
The ability to think
The confidence to be unique
Independence to thrive
But more than anything
My oppressors gave me desire
Desire to be more than they believed I could be
Oct 26, 2015
Oct 26, 2015 at 11:30 PM UTC
Love in such a way
that you never
have to look back.
Mar 10, 2018
Mar 10, 2018 at 10:44 AM UTC
She said She doesn't wanna talk
I waited for her to look back
I tried convincing her
She showed me her middle finger
I only ask you not to go blind on hatred
Be kind though we got parted
Mar 4, 2018
Mar 4, 2018 at 1:26 AM UTC
The warmth of summer ended in a second,
School in June had already begun.
I saw a girl sitting shyly at the back row,
Wishing I could say, “hello” with a smile.
Hello was not just the thing in my head,
But, “Hello, can we be best friends?” How dumb.
Knowing I cannot force one to be just mine.
Small conversations started in a blink,
I just have the picture of us being best friends
Without paralyzed and blind, we already are,
On spur of moment, I realized we really are.
Oh, hello, childhood best friend,
Remember back when we were young?
Days were coming by, the closer we get to be,
Glitter was my addiction. Taylor Swift our fave!
Drawing and sketching as hobbies? Really? Same!
Boys, sometimes became our favorite topic.
Disney Princesses, my favorite characters.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I like to be so many things, I can hardly tell.
What is your favorite this and that? This and that!
Our games and dream makeovers matter so much.
Oh, childhood, we are growing too fast.
When will you ever last? There came the time,
Now, you are already fifteen. Accept it or not.
While writing, I was singing this Taylor Swift song.
“Society’s words matter the most,”
that is what we believe in.
There were the groping and loud crowds,
Talking about the complications of human race,
The people seemed to be nobody to me,
They were all chasing fame and popularity,
Look at those girls in powder and gloss,
Were not they the ones we wished to be?
But, things change for good girls too.
There we laugh and talk about them.
I can tell they are sassy and mean…
How funny it was for you to feel the same for me.
It was like you held my heart all the time,
How can you read me like your novels?
You read them because you love how stories go.
I remembered the times when we wrote poetry together,
It was not that hard, it was fun and exciting…
I hope we can make those things again.
Going back to that place, full of dramas.
It was silly, but other things matter from now on.
Boys do, sometimes, but not really.
Friends first, right? Forever and always.
There came the month of silence and war,
The noise I was not hearing with my ears,
Battles were like diamonds against diamonds.
Exists in my head, loud and they made me deaf…
They keep reminding me of what we had before.
I knew I cared less, I was blind, shame on me.
What was I thinking really? How dumb.
Matters changed for the both of us,
We finally cared for who we had become.
Love pulled us back together and sewed our broken hearts
Those letters, sweet and sincere peace offerings…
Sewing back the torn fragile pieces together,
Writing about when we were young.
What are dreams? Who do we want to be?
Here I am right now, writing another poem,
Wondering if they would be the ones you like.
You are this girl, who would draw so much,
Sketch everyone else close to her heart.
Your drawings were you r mind’s imaginations,
There you brought them to life.
The way you see world how they can be.,
How beautiful just the way you are.
I remembered everything back then when we were eight,
You used to shyly sit on your seat and sketch,
Now I hear your voice in my ears,
Your stories changed, not the way they used to be.
Sometimes, even your silence talked to me.
They told me how your day was going on.
My eyes would tell so many things,
I wonder if you saw them talk to you.
“Hey, I am here for you. Do not worry.
I care too, sometimes I do not show much.
But if you would let me, I would,
My whole best.”
You thought of being a little part of this earth,
But you had never seen who you are in my world.
But look deeper and you would remember,
Who we were when we were young.
Mar 4, 2018
Mar 4, 2018 at 9:58 AM UTC
If I walk a thousand miles
Without looking back
And admiring every step
Have I even moved?
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 9:49 PM UTC