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#logs
_some days are worse than others. the tide pulls me under most times._ _no buoy or life jacket to keep me afloat._ _it's more like an anchor dragging me down into the depths._ _some days I can hardly even breathe. my chest hurts from the moment I wake up to the moment I try to sleep._ _but I'm just sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness I can never swim in._ _i look in the mirror and the smile I see is not the one you gave me so long ago._ _its just a ghost of a memory I can never get back._ _i'm getting better at tricking the darkness into letting it's grip off of my heart._ _i'm getting better at keeping my head above water._ _i'm getting better at pretending it's all alright even though I'm constantly breaking inside._ _i don't know how much more I can break._ _i sure do miss you being here._ _you were my life jacket that kept me safe from the most devastating hurricanes._ _i don't know what I did to make it all go away._ _please come home._
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Nov 18, 2020
Nov 18, 2020 at 4:49 PM UTC
• captain's log #7 •
_your hoodie hangs in my closet quietly_ _it mocks me over and over again reminding me that you're not here_ _i can barely even touch it, let alone look at it_ _i want to feel your comforting embrace  wrapped around my frail and broken shell of a body_ _but you left me here; a shipwreck left to rot_ _i can't bear to even feel the ghost of your embrace_ _if I wrap that hoodie around my shipwrecked frame, I will start crying_ _and by that I mean my tears will create a storm so devastating it ends the world_ _yet you never come back_ _if you loved me, why'd you leave me?_
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Nov 18, 2020
Nov 18, 2020 at 4:47 PM UTC
• captain's log #6 •
_i've been jumping in front of trains lately_ _asking myself if it's really worth the risk_ _the way a skydiver looks at the ground miles away and wonders if today is the day it doesn't work out_ _while you're halfway across the country by now, leaving this all behind_ _i've been jumping in front of trains lately_ _wondering what the hell it will take for you to see the pain you left inside me_ _if I could just find the right thing to prove to you that I'm dying_ _maybe then you'd come back home_
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Nov 18, 2020
Nov 18, 2020 at 4:45 PM UTC
• captain's log #5 •
_i'm becoming more reckless as the days go on_ _jumping off buildings and jumping in front of cars_ _not to die but to almost die_ _maybe then you'd come back home_ _maybe then you'd see just how much pain you caused me_ _but even if you did come home, at this point I'm not sure I would be able to forgive you anymore_
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Nov 18, 2020
Nov 18, 2020 at 4:42 PM UTC
• captain's log #4 •
_the further you go away, the less I can breathe_ _who has this agonizing grip on my heart?_ _and where can I speak to them, to ask them to let off?_ _i haven't felt pain this demanding until now_
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Nov 14, 2020
Nov 14, 2020 at 7:59 PM UTC
• captain's log #3 •
_i'm trying to convince myself_ _that maybe if I cry enough tears to create a whole new ocean_ _then maybe you'd see how much you broke me when you left_ _and then maybe you'd come back home_
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Nov 14, 2020
Nov 14, 2020 at 7:53 PM UTC
• captain's log #2 •
_today felt like I was a zombie walking through a ghost town_ _..broken..dreary..numb.._ _interally and externally_ _i'm officially not okay anymore_
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Nov 14, 2020
Nov 14, 2020 at 7:50 PM UTC
• captain's log #1 •
Every day on the thruways you can see the surprise in dozens of bundles, of differing size some thin and narrow, or thick and piled high doggy deposits from owners despised Big logs, big logs, big bad logs Nobody could tell whose woofer's it was the smell was horrific, dog food the cause ya couldn't say much as master offend It wasn't their dog, they all like to pretend Somebody said "I'd like to catch one leaving the loafs on the turf in the sun" accosting the ******* with chastising care "pick up the crap your dog just left there" Big logs, big logs, big bad logs Big logs, big logs
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May 20, 2018
May 20, 2018 at 12:28 PM UTC
Big logs, big logs, big bad logs (Sorry Jimmy Dean)
Black coffee, clay mugs Old sweaters, whiskey jugs Aged wine, rusty fence Copper pennies, nickel cents Careworn shirts, timeworn sneakers Fragrant wood, evergreen cedars Dusty trails, decayed logs Chirping grasshoppers, croaking frogs Heavy rainfalls, splashing rocks Whizzing insects, scattered flocks Herb of grace, steady pace Welcome to my happy place.
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Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018 at 1:41 AM UTC
My Happy Place
lichen shrouded logs laid still on the forest's floor their bones rotting
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Apr 17, 2017
Apr 17, 2017 at 9:36 PM UTC
Haiku
On the bottom of the shoe Overlooking all the poo A weird figure shows on up All this poo is from my pup I look over to him He looks back at me This dog is crazy coming from me His eyes are red with evil stares Reminds of the scary scares I walk away from the dog He chases after me in the fog I trip on a log I'm dead The End
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Oct 4, 2016
Oct 4, 2016 at 10:00 PM UTC
My crazy dog
You promised kisses beneath the old oak You said you would give youself to me then Under the summer's eager stary eyes But they came and cut the oak down But not before you left town Now all I have is the promise Of firewood for those cold lonely nights
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Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 7:59 PM UTC
Promised Kisses
Cold days and snowy nights dissolve into the glow when we come home from the sweater weather. In from the cozy autumn day. In from a day in which sunlight dappled the tree's bark like the zig-zagged icing and french dough. A day of mittens so only your thumbs protrude. A day like kittens which tumble in happiness and innocence. Into the oak, with the window in which tear drops chase themselves away down the pane and the cool air is made hot with cocoa frothy cream and pumpkin. We smoke on curled cinnamon sticks which splinter like burnt logs on an fire of embers. The silhouettes of our shadows catch on the horizon as we watch the spectrum scatter from the warm cream to the dusty pumpkin to cocoa.
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Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 2:06 PM UTC
October days