#lethargic
Half a day
On half power
Half productive
but doubly
Relaxing
Nov 11, 2020
Nov 11, 2020 at 5:37 PM UTC
Lethargic
As you lie on your back and close your eyes. The gentle breeze caresses your skin. You smell the air, and it is scented with nostalgia from memories past
Each minutes passes by. 60 beats. Heartbeat. Your heart beats in rhythm with each breath you take
Gentle breeze
Nov 4, 2019
Nov 4, 2019 at 12:50 AM UTC
They say she has it bad,
Taking down the boundaries
She never really had,
Yes, it’s all a bit lethargic,
following what was said,
Trailing eyes and messages
and the overwhelming dread.
Let it down slowly,
It’s a phrase she has heard,
And maybe they’d realize her turn for the worse,
Lethargy, it’s an eight letter word,
But it rules the innards and the outer,
It’s just something she’s learned.
Feb 28, 2019
Feb 28, 2019 at 12:16 AM UTC
just so tired
of being mired
in the endless fatigue
that works in league
with the utter exhaustion
that makes me feel lost in
the ruthless lethargy
that keeps on charging
just need some shut eye
so desperately, but I
can't catch up on rest
settled into my nest
breathing slow and deep
still can't fall asleep
counting sheep in droves
but unable to doze
instead ironically
I lay here chronically
stuck wide awake
unable to shake
the conscious mind's grip
unable to slip
into the world of dreams
escaping what seems
the waking mind's prison
as insomnia, risen
to almighty omnipotence
flexing its eminence
wards off all the threats
that maybe would let
this body start healing
and this mind stop feeling
so tired
of being mired
in the endless fatigue
that works in league
with the utter exhaustion
that makes me feel lost in
the ruthless lethargy
that keeps on charging
without end
insomnia strikes again
Aug 30, 2018
Aug 30, 2018 at 4:59 PM UTC
I've returned to this place, but not how I had hoped
The walls peeling, ceilings drip, floorboards curved and sloped
Mildew spreads around corners and shadows swallow light
Thoughts creep in like whispers, forcing me to write
They're in my head again, the infestations swell
Clawing at my eyelids, the night escapes. Oh well
Perhaps I am the intruder
I left this place to rot
Yet, it's the one who evicted me
It is I who I forgot
Jul 15, 2018
Jul 15, 2018 at 1:30 AM UTC
I don't understand how
I don't really see now
Eyes are just half-open
I just feel like copin'
I'm indoors to recover from outdoors
My mind's all gone as it's on its all fours
Am I abstract or do people just interpret
Things all wrong? I have to tell them stat
I'm just a tired old man with a young mind
Just getting my thoughts out there, do you mind?
I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so harsh on you
Just stop the praise and go and do what you do
Nov 10, 2017
Nov 10, 2017 at 11:16 AM UTC
the worst feeling in the world, to me
is feeling stuck.
it's worse than having to dig out the wheel
in the limbs of sloppy rain,
or the shock value of biting the inside
of your mouth.
it's the opposite of the realization you have
when you remember the mouth heals quickest; and then
there is hope.
imagine the life path of dreams -
with a lush natural fence on the threshold.
one step over summons vines from under
that lash and snag and gnarl and gnash
and you're frozen stone: forest
desert arctic all in one.
the stuck swallows me inside
an imperial chamber
that i am not in the slightest bit worthy
to be surrounded by.
a perception of the world
in your mind...
it cracks,
shatters, hiss,
obliterated.
i welcome struggle into my arms as i go
to the bittersweet valley below;
maybe i will find the seeds that
will allow me to grow.
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 31, 2017 at 1:05 AM UTC
We live in a superficial world
of shattered identities
and
a loss of reality
my senses are
Numb
We do not know what it is to feel :
anything
sadness
has died
in cipralex
anxiety
has drowned
in clonazepam
my cheap, glass arm
was about to break
in the basement of a house
that i tried so hard to call home
I am
utter
sheer
nonsense
we will live together,
and I,
I will die alone
Apr 2, 2017
Apr 2, 2017 at 1:14 PM UTC
Outside, below
I am teased so
Coldly, by a
Dark, dull and
Dismal morning.
Then I hear the
Kind click of the
Radiator ascending.
Hugging my feet.
Kissing my shins.
I’m not going to
do today. I refuse.
I can’t. For when I
Try, I feel nothing.
Nothing at all.
My tutor will have
to wait. And my friends
will have to wonder.
Only for a second, a
mere moment or two.
Somebody has crept
Up and into my room,
Inside of my heart
And taken what was
Once beating well.
Jan 26, 2016
Jan 26, 2016 at 7:13 PM UTC
What do you do
when you meet somebody
who has lightning in their eyes
and fire on their lips
waiting to burn
it
all
down?
What do you do
when you can't stop thinking about somebody
whose heart is filled
with the idea
that your existence
is
wrong?
What do you do
when you feel stupid
because maybe if you were born
in another time
or another place
you wouldn't be having
these
problems?
What do you do
when you're nervous to be you
in your own home
or around those you hold dear
because what if
they're disappointed
in
you?
What do you do
when the person
you want to please most
admits things
that break
your
heart?
What do you do
when you can't stop dreaming
and your heart can't stop longing
and your head can't stop spinning
and all you want
is just
peace
and
quiet
from all the tragedy in the world
all of the noise in your head
all of the fear and worry
and you just want
to rest?
Nov 20, 2015
Nov 20, 2015 at 7:53 PM UTC
I want to push you out of me
I don't want to need you the
way that I seem to.
But you've always been there
so it's kind of hard to do.
Honestly I just want the best
for you
So I'll disappear into the dark
I'm a wanderess already,
never sick of the rain that's
flooding me.
Aug 27, 2015
Aug 27, 2015 at 12:16 PM UTC
I am a mossman.
Sometimes i am green, sometimes yellow, sometimes gray but always alone.
My horizon touches into the far nihilism.
A place where sunlight is absent and never burns my eyes.
No signs of life, just the falling of leaves and the cries of the wind.
Snow, rain, stars, i have seen it all
but the light, i have never seen.
No dreams to follow, no objectives set, no plans, nothing.
A depressing jest......
just me, myself and the lethargic landscape.
Anchored to the bark, drowning in a sea of time.
A year is an hour..... an hour is a year....
Does not matter to me...
I am not going anywhere.
Mij destination leads to a No man's land.
I am a mossman.
Gazing at the starlit sky until my insomnia slumbers.
Dancing deadlights disperse their euphoria.
And twilight fills with the rusty perfume of melancholy.
Now the fragrance pierces my nose.
That typical rust smell, cascades of scarlet ripples on the floor.
Glittering rubies dripping past my window like the morning rain.
Glassy eyes gazing at a marble skin, that touches like graveyard leather.
Fits the interior, fits my mood.
A shaking hand loses strength, loosens its grip.
Eyes on infinity, through the window, at the dark, at the moon.
One last exhale, curtain call.
Falling forever...
I was a mossman...
Sometimes i am green, sometimes yellow, sometimes gray but always
alone.
Apr 7, 2015
Apr 7, 2015 at 8:57 PM UTC
I pack my bag. A girl approaches me.
"I love your jacket! "
/I hate my life./
"Thank you! Me too!"
I hurriedly make my way across the side walk.
" I really like your boots."
/I really don't like being alive./
" Thanks! They were at Target!"
I glance at my tattered agenda.
" I wish I could do make up like you!"
/I wish I would get hit by a car. /
"Aww, thanks! You can always try watching YouTube makeup tutorials for help!"
/I seriously need help./
I scribble doodles in the margins of my notes.
" I wish I could draw like you!"
/I wish I could have my life together./
" Thanks, but it's predominantly in practicing. Draw like you, instead!"
I crumple papers with shaking hands.
" I dig your sense of style."
/ I wish I had my sense of direction./
"Thanks, that makes me feel nice!"
I dig the dirt beneath my jagged nail.
" You always look so cute."
/ I always look for reasons to not **** myself./
"Awh, thanks! I try."
I slouch into a computer chair.
"You look tired."
/I'm tired of my life./
" I'm actually not. I just have naturally dark circles under my eyes, is all."
I glance up at a familiar face.
"How are you?"
/I'm drowning./
"I'm ...surviving. ."
Oct 15, 2014
Oct 15, 2014 at 6:55 PM UTC
I hardly know what I'm doing
As I ask the clerk for a pack of naturals behind the counter.
My make-up from yesterday's shift preserved nicely,
So the exchange followed suit.
I'm not good at this.
Naturally.
Fifteen minutes before walking into the convenient store
I paced the empty terminals of a car wash
Rehearsing my demeanor and forced eye contact.
I hate eye contact.
Stand tall and look confident.
But not too confident.
Be charming,
But not desperate.
Don't try to be ****
(You're not ****
I'm four foot ten
And twenty years old.
Buying a pack of cigarettes for an addiction I don't carry
Shouldn't be this hard.
I'm not damaged,
I'm not drunk.
I'm not struggling,
And I'm certainly not a cigarette smoker.
But I'm here,
In Boston,
Stuck in-between the fibers of a girl
Who writes bad poetry and
Hardly knows what she's doing with much of anything.
Naturally.
May 4, 2014
May 4, 2014 at 1:09 AM UTC
Here comes the days of craving tasteless food
To dip biscuits in tea by your bed
Today I'm the exact opposite of a *****
Groans and hmms and spitting red
Oh, but wait, my nose unblocked
I breathe with both nostrils now
The movie I just watched totally rocked
I feel like sleeping again, but how?
Toss and turn, take a pill
Blowing my nose some more
Cough drops? No, I've got nil
**** my throat will stay sore
Sep 19, 2013
Sep 19, 2013 at 2:24 AM UTC