#lesbianwriters - Hello Poetry

Devastated Lonely Confused Hopeless I’ve felt this way for months The sky has been crying since I often wonder if it sees me suffering? If it’s nature trying to console me? That’s crazy, I know But I still can’t help but wonder Every time I start to cry, I mean really cry, it starts to pour When my spirits start to lift, the weather soon does after The sky has been grey for at least 3 days now It’s beautiful It reminds me of home I feel safe in the darkness So I let it swallow me whole Enveloping me until there is nothing left but black This is my sanctuary This is how I escape This is how I will make it out alive This is how I become sane Or is this how I become insane? I never could tell the difference What’s the difference between pain and love? There’s a fine line With just one stumble, you could fall out of one and into the other Good or bad? Right or wrong? Easy or hard? These simple questions hold a multitude of different answers They have millions of questions inside them Three simple words That’s it Three simple words are so easy to say They hold so much meaning They get used too easily Easy or hard? Easy or hard? Which would you choose? With the easy road, it never gets fixed It never gets resolved It could possibly end it all The hard road is filled with struggle It’s filled with sacrifices and pain But it’s worth it if you can get there Which would you choose? Do you know the answer? What if you walked that hard road, but they went the easy way? Right or wrong? Right or wrong? Is it right that they do wrong? Are you right? What if you’re wrong? What if you took the easy way thinking it was the hard way? How do you know the difference? How do you keep sane? Left, no right? Right again! Left, Left, Left. Search inside, find your moral high ground Good or bad? Bad or Good? Neither? Do you know? What do you stand for? Keep searching Unlock that door Find the key Find the key Break it down if you have to There! Over there! The answers you’ve been searching for! Crack the code Crack the code What if I can’t crack the code? Was this all a waste? Was this not the hard road? Slipping, slipping, slipping Psychosis is sinking in She is my best friend Coddling me like a child when I can no longer stand on my own Sinking in, deeper and deeper Black So much black She is my only friend She speaks to me silently, but from where I can not tell Who’s that? Who’s there? Yes, I hear you! Hello! I understand Thank you It’s good to not be alone

0

Apr 13, 2016

Apr 13, 2016 at 5:05 PM UTC

aj-bell

Psychosis

Devastated Lonely Confused Hopeless I’ve felt this way for months The sky has been crying since I often wonder if it sees me suffering? If it’s nature trying to console me? That’s crazy, I know But I still can’t help but wonder Every time I start to cry, I mean really cry, it starts to pour When my spirits start to lift, the weather soon does after The sky has been grey for at least 3 days now It’s beautiful It reminds me of home I feel safe in the darkness So I let it swallow me whole Enveloping me until there is nothing left but black This is my sanctuary This is how I escape This is how I will make it out alive This is how I become sane Or is this how I become insane? I never could tell the difference What’s the difference between pain and love? There’s a fine line With just one stumble, you could fall out of one and into the other Good or bad? Right or wrong? Easy or hard? These simple questions hold a multitude of different answers They have millions of questions inside them Three simple words That’s it Three simple words are so easy to say They hold so much meaning They get used too easily Easy or hard? Easy or hard? Which would you choose? With the easy road, it never gets fixed It never gets resolved It could possibly end it all The hard road is filled with struggle It’s filled with sacrifices and pain But it’s worth it if you can get there Which would you choose? Do you know the answer? What if you walked that hard road, but they went the easy way? Right or wrong? Right or wrong? Is it right that they do wrong? Are you right? What if you’re wrong? What if you took the easy way thinking it was the hard way? How do you know the difference? How do you keep sane? Left, no right? Right again! Left, Left, Left. Search inside, find your moral high ground Good or bad? Bad or Good? Neither? Do you know? What do you stand for? Keep searching Unlock that door Find the key Find the key Break it down if you have to There! Over there! The answers you’ve been searching for! Crack the code Crack the code What if I can’t crack the code? Was this all a waste? Was this not the hard road? Slipping, slipping, slipping Psychosis is sinking in She is my best friend Coddling me like a child when I can no longer stand on my own Sinking in, deeper and deeper Black So much black She is my only friend She speaks to me silently, but from where I can not tell Who’s that? Who’s there? Yes, I hear you! Hello! I understand Thank you It’s good to not be alone

95

I don’t know what we are now I just know it’s not what it was I fear that you don’t want to change I fear you can’t see through my flaws There are so many thoughts running through my head It’s hard to keep track of what is real and what is not I feel like I’ve been side swiped You were hiding in my blind spot Fragments of memories scattered all over the floor Picture perfect memories, that don’t seem so perfect anymore I dream of you when I’m not asleep I dream of what could be I’m at a loss for words now This wasn’t anything I could foresee What do you say, when you have said it all before? I’m running out of breath What do you say when no one’s listening anymore? This silence is making me deaf I’m unlocking all of the secrets The door is open now I’m just hoping we can make it through But these trespasses, I can’t allow I know I’ve made my fair share of mistakes But I feel I am doing my part I feel like nothing I do will ever change this I fear it might be too late to restart I know that is not what I want I know what I want is you But I’m afraid that you are unavailable I fear there is nothing more I can do It’s hard to feel so helpless… It’s hard to feel so powerless and alone We’re at a crossroad now And it’s up to you to find your way home I’ll be waiting here patiently But I can’t wait forever I will help you anyway that I can I know if we try, we can make it through this endeavor I’ve seen you at your worst and loved you through it all My love for you is unconditional But I can’t get past your wall This wall you’ve put up is putting a barrier between us It is keeping us apart I can’t get in if you don’t take it down We can never have a fresh start The lying has to stop It isn’t doing anyone any good I know that you are just afraid Afraid of being misunderstood I understand where you are coming from But you never know until you try You break my heart a little more Everytime you lie I know that it will take time But my heart will one day heal This situation has caught me off guard The whole thing is just so surreal I’m going through the motions I’m trying to find my way I’m trying to read your morse code But the message, you won’t convey I need you to talk to me I need to know the real you I need you to be honest with me It’s the least that you could do…

0

Apr 13, 2016

Apr 13, 2016 at 5:01 PM UTC

aj-bell

Cryptanalysis

I don’t know what we are now I just know it’s not what it was I fear that you don’t want to change I fear you can’t see through my flaws There are so many thoughts running through my head It’s hard to keep track of what is real and what is not I feel like I’ve been side swiped You were hiding in my blind spot Fragments of memories scattered all over the floor Picture perfect memories, that don’t seem so perfect anymore I dream of you when I’m not asleep I dream of what could be I’m at a loss for words now This wasn’t anything I could foresee What do you say, when you have said it all before? I’m running out of breath What do you say when no one’s listening anymore? This silence is making me deaf I’m unlocking all of the secrets The door is open now I’m just hoping we can make it through But these trespasses, I can’t allow I know I’ve made my fair share of mistakes But I feel I am doing my part I feel like nothing I do will ever change this I fear it might be too late to restart I know that is not what I want I know what I want is you But I’m afraid that you are unavailable I fear there is nothing more I can do It’s hard to feel so helpless… It’s hard to feel so powerless and alone We’re at a crossroad now And it’s up to you to find your way home I’ll be waiting here patiently But I can’t wait forever I will help you anyway that I can I know if we try, we can make it through this endeavor I’ve seen you at your worst and loved you through it all My love for you is unconditional But I can’t get past your wall This wall you’ve put up is putting a barrier between us It is keeping us apart I can’t get in if you don’t take it down We can never have a fresh start The lying has to stop It isn’t doing anyone any good I know that you are just afraid Afraid of being misunderstood I understand where you are coming from But you never know until you try You break my heart a little more Everytime you lie I know that it will take time But my heart will one day heal This situation has caught me off guard The whole thing is just so surreal I’m going through the motions I’m trying to find my way I’m trying to read your morse code But the message, you won’t convey I need you to talk to me I need to know the real you I need you to be honest with me It’s the least that you could do…

65

When the sun goes down and everything gets quiet The slideshow begins to play A flashbulb memory of you dancing wildly around the piles of decay Forever tormenting me and feeding on any bit of happiness that dares to shine through Shining a light on you kissing her, and me kissing you… I feel so disgusting… I feel so used… I feel so worthless… It feels as though all of the love I ever gave you was abused… The light burns my eyes I’ve been in the dark so long It hurts even more now that I know this has been going on all along Did I ever mean anything to you? Did you ever really care? Or was I just there to fill the space? I ask these questions, but the answers I can’t bare… So many nights spent alone, pining for your love Looking for just a small shimmer of hope… Or just one kind word from you to think of… I don’t have the heart to tell you everything… What I did while you were gone Sitting in the dark alone… Praying not to make it to dawn I keep these thoughts to myself… It would only break your heart After all this is our chance to make it better This is our fresh start Still, it eats at me everyday… Every hour, and every second I have to wonder if what you say is true I have to wonder if you really meant it Are you really ready to come home? Or was I what you settle for? Did you come back because you wanted to? Or did you come back because she wasn’t an option anymore? How will you deal with temptation? Will you do it again? Can we put this all behind us? Can our hearts ever mend? Will you make it to the top? Or is the mountain of guilt too high to climb? Should I try to move forward with you? Or am I just biding time? I’m just waiting for the hurricane to swoop in… For it to take everything I ever cared for Leaving me alone again… I can’t watch you walk out that door anymore… You are always leaving… Leaving me behind Your words forever haunt me They never leave my mind… Why would you do this to me? Why didn’t you offer me mercy before now? I hate what happened to us… I want to move forward, but I don’t know how… I don’t know how to live with everything you have done Every broken promise ever made Every lie you have ever spun How do you come back from that? How do you crawl out from the debris? How do you forgive these trespasses? How do you forgive adultery?

0

Apr 13, 2016

Apr 13, 2016 at 2:44 PM UTC

aj-bell

Forgiveness and Adultery

When the sun goes down and everything gets quiet The slideshow begins to play A flashbulb memory of you dancing wildly around the piles of decay Forever tormenting me and feeding on any bit of happiness that dares to shine through Shining a light on you kissing her, and me kissing you… I feel so disgusting… I feel so used… I feel so worthless… It feels as though all of the love I ever gave you was abused… The light burns my eyes I’ve been in the dark so long It hurts even more now that I know this has been going on all along Did I ever mean anything to you? Did you ever really care? Or was I just there to fill the space? I ask these questions, but the answers I can’t bare… So many nights spent alone, pining for your love Looking for just a small shimmer of hope… Or just one kind word from you to think of… I don’t have the heart to tell you everything… What I did while you were gone Sitting in the dark alone… Praying not to make it to dawn I keep these thoughts to myself… It would only break your heart After all this is our chance to make it better This is our fresh start Still, it eats at me everyday… Every hour, and every second I have to wonder if what you say is true I have to wonder if you really meant it Are you really ready to come home? Or was I what you settle for? Did you come back because you wanted to? Or did you come back because she wasn’t an option anymore? How will you deal with temptation? Will you do it again? Can we put this all behind us? Can our hearts ever mend? Will you make it to the top? Or is the mountain of guilt too high to climb? Should I try to move forward with you? Or am I just biding time? I’m just waiting for the hurricane to swoop in… For it to take everything I ever cared for Leaving me alone again… I can’t watch you walk out that door anymore… You are always leaving… Leaving me behind Your words forever haunt me They never leave my mind… Why would you do this to me? Why didn’t you offer me mercy before now? I hate what happened to us… I want to move forward, but I don’t know how… I don’t know how to live with everything you have done Every broken promise ever made Every lie you have ever spun How do you come back from that? How do you crawl out from the debris? How do you forgive these trespasses? How do you forgive adultery?

62

The sun was shining that day, on that fateful afternoon A perfect specimen of green and flowers full in bloom Walk the path to the other side, to the forest dark and dreary Along the pond of empty souls, who scream of horrific pain and furry They will tell you the story of that fateful afternoon The one where the life of an innocent ended way too soon Hand in hand with a lover, eyes covered for surprise She drunkenly stumbled over twigs and the thickness of her lies To the middle of the darkness, where no one could hear a sound She knew it would be years, if ever, before her body would be found She sat her down on a stump and tied her hands and feet Than whispered in her ear the secrets of her lies and deceit She told her in unimaginable detail what she had been up to The last year and a half of their relationship All the other women and the ***** She told her how she did it in their bed with her fast asleep right by their side Then cut a deep straight line from her rib cage to her lower intestine She then proceeded to continue with her story, as she stitched her back together How she had been ******* her best friend when she had said she’d stay forever She then walked over to her bag and dug out another knife She had no intention of quickly ending her life She started with her back She ran the blade straight down Then laughed menacingly as her skin and blood fell to the ground She tried to scream but all that came was a small yelp A tiny little innocent thing begging for someone’s help Through the bushes came a woman, followed by another over time They all came to watch her end it To play their part in the crime To cut her up piece by piece and put on a show Naked, ****** and bare she rose for one last blow As she dug her hand into her chest, her love for her grew founder She squeezed her heart as tight as she could Until it pumped no longer Then left her on the ground to be picked apart She took what was left of her love, when she ripped out her heart So as the years passed by and her hatred for humanity grew She took on the shape of the forest killing anyone who came through Collecting their souls in the pond filled with her blood Hiding their bodies in the deep and filthy mud They are the ones who speak to you of this tragedy ever so true Be careful not to listen to long though… Because they will come for you.

0

Apr 13, 2016

Apr 13, 2016 at 2:24 PM UTC

aj-bell

Vengeance at its best

The sun was shining that day, on that fateful afternoon A perfect specimen of green and flowers full in bloom Walk the path to the other side, to the forest dark and dreary Along the pond of empty souls, who scream of horrific pain and furry They will tell you the story of that fateful afternoon The one where the life of an innocent ended way too soon Hand in hand with a lover, eyes covered for surprise She drunkenly stumbled over twigs and the thickness of her lies To the middle of the darkness, where no one could hear a sound She knew it would be years, if ever, before her body would be found She sat her down on a stump and tied her hands and feet Than whispered in her ear the secrets of her lies and deceit She told her in unimaginable detail what she had been up to The last year and a half of their relationship All the other women and the ***** She told her how she did it in their bed with her fast asleep right by their side Then cut a deep straight line from her rib cage to her lower intestine She then proceeded to continue with her story, as she stitched her back together How she had been ******* her best friend when she had said she’d stay forever She then walked over to her bag and dug out another knife She had no intention of quickly ending her life She started with her back She ran the blade straight down Then laughed menacingly as her skin and blood fell to the ground She tried to scream but all that came was a small yelp A tiny little innocent thing begging for someone’s help Through the bushes came a woman, followed by another over time They all came to watch her end it To play their part in the crime To cut her up piece by piece and put on a show Naked, ****** and bare she rose for one last blow As she dug her hand into her chest, her love for her grew founder She squeezed her heart as tight as she could Until it pumped no longer Then left her on the ground to be picked apart She took what was left of her love, when she ripped out her heart So as the years passed by and her hatred for humanity grew She took on the shape of the forest killing anyone who came through Collecting their souls in the pond filled with her blood Hiding their bodies in the deep and filthy mud They are the ones who speak to you of this tragedy ever so true Be careful not to listen to long though… Because they will come for you.

43

They say I have a melancholy cloud around me. They say they see the teeth marks that it leaves, the blue marks around my neck, the black marks around my eyes. But I don’t mind. Wounds heal in good time, on the outside at least. So I tuck my cloud in deeper so that they cannot see this darkness that is becoming me. It's amazing the things we write about when we think no one is listening.

0

Apr 13, 2016

Apr 13, 2016 at 2:22 PM UTC

aj-bell

Red, Black and Blue

They say I have a melancholy cloud around me. They say they see the teeth marks that it leaves, the blue marks around my neck, the black marks around my eyes. But I don’t mind. Wounds heal in good time, on the outside at least. So I tuck my cloud in deeper so that they cannot see this darkness that is becoming me. It's amazing the things we write about when we think no one is listening.

6

There's this pain inside of me, much worse than my mother ever warned me about. It’s the kind of hurt that leaves you sick to your stomach, paralyzed from the neck down. I feel it becoming a part of me. Every time I think it's lost my trail it sideswipes me, knocking me to the ground, bruising my knees. I fear no matter how far I run I'll never shake this feeling. That gut wrenching ache. That devastating realization that no matter how hard I pretend, I am not okay.

0

Apr 13, 2016

Apr 13, 2016 at 2:20 PM UTC

aj-bell

Can You Feel It?

There's this pain inside of me, much worse than my mother ever warned me about. It’s the kind of hurt that leaves you sick to your stomach, paralyzed from the neck down. I feel it becoming a part of me. Every time I think it's lost my trail it sideswipes me, knocking me to the ground, bruising my knees. I fear no matter how far I run I'll never shake this feeling. That gut wrenching ache. That devastating realization that no matter how hard I pretend, I am not okay.

7