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#leonardo
she has produced a biscuit that claims a Mona Lisa likeness confectionary imbued with worth far beyond a humble foodstuff to be digested by a sweet tooth novelty birthday gift consumed likeness acknowledged in a minute taste appreciated in seconds party over Leonardo lived with her as a mistress never parting with his commission of a merchant’s daughter perfecting every stroke and nuance haunted by that beguiling smile she had him in her clutches forever now the world lives for the minute appreciates in seconds and moves on there are no more banquets just mere morsels
0
May 14, 2022
May 14, 2022 at 12:15 PM UTC
Leonardo and the biscuit
Alissa had mentioned that Leonardo invited the cheerleaders to a private after-party at club Erehwon (“Nowhere” backwards). Leigh had an idea. It might be crazy but why should her sister have all the fun? She looked in Alissa’s closet and found some clean cheerleader uniforms. She called an Uber, then slipped into one of the white uniforms. The Uber dropped her off in front of club Erehwon and the bouncer-sized doorman, noting the uniform, let her in, saying, “Take the second stairs on the left.” At the stairs, another large man unhitched a velvet rope and said, “First turn on the right.” She climbed the stairs to booming music and a pounding heart. The door was closed - disappointment stirred in her. She’d expected the door to be open - all she wanted was a peek. Her curiosity immobilized her - she’d never seen someone as famous as Leonardo in person. She noticed the little camera above the door then there was a metallic clack as the door was pulled open - she could only gape at Leonardo in the flesh. What did he see? A young creature caught in the spill of light. Pale blue eyes, a fragile neck, an ill fitting white cheerleader uniform, bagging slightly where there wasn’t enough breast or hip to fill it, white sneakers like hooves below narrow ankles. A gleaming yellow crown of hair wrapped an upturned face. Slender wrists, long fingers. He saw her startle. He saw fear and then something in her gaze flared like bared teeth. Defiance. He didn’t recognize her as a child. He wouldn’t expect to see a child here. He’d been expecting Alissa and radiated a perceptible and impatient hunger. What did Leigh see? A surprisingly tall man, in dark gray slacks, a black t-shirt and a matching dark gray jacket. A fine gold chain hung from his neck and there was a diamond earring in one ear - blonde hair barbered precisely and a slight stubble of beard framed that familiar face pin-pricked with freckles up close. His complexion was tan but fair and his eyes were deep pools of turquoise. He was flat-out beautiful but looked older than on screen and right now his eye lids seemed heavy and his posture made her think of an alert animal. She saw him see her, sensing how the sight of her arrested him. “Who are you?” he said. Then Alissa was coming up the stairs, she had on a crimson cheerleader uniform which fit her like her own skin. Leigh slid away, along the wall, and Leonardo followed, getting slightly ahead. There was laughter and music coming from the room “Where’s Leo?” someone shouted. She’d been foolish to think she could just observe the party. A silly child, all dressed up. “Who are you?” he asked again. Helplessly, she looked at Alissa, who appeared to be both angry and trying to squelch the giggles. She couldn’t admit her name - say who she was and why she was here, not when she was dressed up like this and he was looking at her that way. There was no answer. “She’s just a kid,” Alissa said, taking Leonardo’s arm. “She’s not supposed to be here.” she said, as she glanced at Leigh and twisted her head to signal “GO.” He didn’t shake her off, but he didn’t respond to her touch, either. He was still looking at Leigh. Alissa was looking at her, too, he couldn’t see that Alissa was biting her lip, eyes full of mirth. Their faces cornered her like hounds surrounding a fox. “Shall we?” Alissa said, after a moment, her voice was rising. He yielded, and started to follow. Leigh pressed back against the wall and turned her face away as he passed, she caught the smell of his cologne and some other fragrance, slightly bitter. She wasn’t used to strange men examining her and her skin seemed to prickle. As he moved away, his step slowed. She knew he was willing her to look up into his face, but she wouldn’t. “She’s just a kid,” Alissa said again. “Leigh, go home.” “Leigh,” he repeated. Still she didn’t look up, not until Leonardo and Alissa had finally closed the door. Leigh darted down the stairs and out of the club. There was a crowd now and what looked like paparazzi - but no one took notice of her as she moved partway down the block and began to pace, and chew a fingernail, while waiting for her Uber.
0
Oct 11, 2021
Oct 11, 2021 at 6:02 PM UTC
nowhere
Alissa had mentioned that Leonardo invited the cheerleaders to a private after-party at club Erehwon (“Nowhere” backwards). Leigh had an idea. It might be crazy but why should her sister have all the fun? She looked in Alissa’s closet and found some clean cheerleader uniforms. She called an Uber, then slipped into one of the white uniforms. The Uber dropped her off in front of club Erehwon and the bouncer-sized doorman, noting the uniform, let her in, saying, “Take the second stairs on the left.” At the stairs, another large man unhitched a velvet rope and said, “First turn on the right.” She climbed the stairs to booming music and a pounding heart. The door was closed - disappointment stirred in her. She’d expected the door to be open - all she wanted was a peek. Her curiosity immobilized her - she’d never seen someone as famous as Leonardo in person. She noticed the little camera above the door then there was a metallic clack as the door was pulled open - she could only gape at Leonardo in the flesh. What did he see? A young creature caught in the spill of light. Pale blue eyes, a fragile neck, an ill fitting white cheerleader uniform, bagging slightly where there wasn’t enough breast or hip to fill it, white sneakers like hooves below narrow ankles. A gleaming yellow crown of hair wrapped an upturned face. Slender wrists, long fingers. He saw her startle. He saw fear and then something in her gaze flared like bared teeth. Defiance. He didn’t recognize her as a child. He wouldn’t expect to see a child here. He’d been expecting Alissa and radiated a perceptible and impatient hunger. What did Leigh see? A surprisingly tall man, in dark gray slacks, a black t-shirt and a matching dark gray jacket. A fine gold chain hung from his neck and there was a diamond earring in one ear - blonde hair barbered precisely and a slight stubble of beard framed that familiar face pin-pricked with freckles up close. His complexion was tan but fair and his eyes were deep pools of turquoise. He was flat-out beautiful but looked older than on screen and right now his eye lids seemed heavy and his posture made her think of an alert animal. She saw him see her, sensing how the sight of her arrested him. “Who are you?” he said. Then Alissa was coming up the stairs, she had on a crimson cheerleader uniform which fit her like her own skin. Leigh slid away, along the wall, and Leonardo followed, getting slightly ahead. There was laughter and music coming from the room “Where’s Leo?” someone shouted. She’d been foolish to think she could just observe the party. A silly child, all dressed up. “Who are you?” he asked again. Helplessly, she looked at Alissa, who appeared to be both angry and trying to squelch the giggles. She couldn’t admit her name - say who she was and why she was here, not when she was dressed up like this and he was looking at her that way. There was no answer. “She’s just a kid,” Alissa said, taking Leonardo’s arm. “She’s not supposed to be here.” she said, as she glanced at Leigh and twisted her head to signal “GO.” He didn’t shake her off, but he didn’t respond to her touch, either. He was still looking at Leigh. Alissa was looking at her, too, he couldn’t see that Alissa was biting her lip, eyes full of mirth. Their faces cornered her like hounds surrounding a fox. “Shall we?” Alissa said, after a moment, her voice was rising. He yielded, and started to follow. Leigh pressed back against the wall and turned her face away as he passed, she caught the smell of his cologne and some other fragrance, slightly bitter. She wasn’t used to strange men examining her and her skin seemed to prickle. As he moved away, his step slowed. She knew he was willing her to look up into his face, but she wouldn’t. “She’s just a kid,” Alissa said again. “Leigh, go home.” “Leigh,” he repeated. Still she didn’t look up, not until Leonardo and Alissa had finally closed the door. Leigh darted down the stairs and out of the club. There was a crowd now and what looked like paparazzi - but no one took notice of her as she moved partway down the block and began to pace, and chew a fingernail, while waiting for her Uber.
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14
LEONARDO DA VINCI POEMS, EPIGRAMS AND QUOTES These are my modern English translations of the poems, epigrams and quotes of Leonardo da Vinci. I believe the first six epigrams pertain to the current American election crisis … Nothing enables authority like silence.—Leonardo da Vinci, translation by Michael R. Burch The greatest deceptions spring from men’s own opinions.—Leonardo da Vinci, translation by Michael R. Burch There are three classes of people: Those who see by themselves. Those who see only when they are shown. Those who refuse to see.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Blinding ignorance misleads us. Myopic mortals, open your eyes!—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch It is easier to oppose evil from the beginning than at the end.—Leonardo da Vinci, translation by Michael R. Burch Small minds continue to shrink, but those whose hearts are firm and whose consciences endorse their conduct, will persevere until death.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch I am impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowledge is not enough; we must apply ourselves. Wanting and being willing are insufficient; we must act.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Time is sufficient for anyone who uses it wisely.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Once we have flown, we will forever walk the earth with our eyes turned heavenward, for there we were and will always long to return.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch The great achievers rarely relaxed and let things happen to them. They set out and kick-started whatever happened.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Where the spirit does not aid and abet the hand there is no art.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Necessity is the mistress of mother nature's inventions.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Nature has no effect without cause, no invention without necessity.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Did Leonardo da Vinci anticipate Darwin with his comments about Nature and necessity being the mistress of her inventions? Yes, and his studies of comparative anatomy, including the intestines, led da Vinci to say explicitly that "apes, monkeys and the like" are not merely related to humans but are "almost of the same species." He was, indeed, a man ahead of his time, by at least 350 years. Excerpts from “Paragone of Poetry and Painting” and Other Writings by Leonardo da Vinci, circa 1500 loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Sculpture requires light, received from above, while a painting contains its own light and shade. Painting is the more beautiful, the more imaginative, the more copious, while sculpture is merely the more durable. Painting encompasses infinite possibilities which sculpture cannot command. But you, O Painter, unless you can make your figures move, are like an orator who can’t bring his words to life! While as soon as the Poet abandons nature, he ceases to resemble the Painter; for if the Poet abandons the natural figure for flowery and flattering speech, he becomes an orator and is thus neither Poet nor Painter. Painting is poetry seen but not heard, while poetry is painting heard but not seen. And if the Poet calls painting dumb poetry, the Painter may call poetry blind painting. Yet poor is the pupil who fails to surpass his master! Shun those studies in which the work dies with the worker. Because I find no subject especially useful or pleasing and because those who preceded me appropriated every useful theme, I will be like the beggar who comes late to the fair, who must content himself with other buyers' rejects. Thus, I will load my humble cart full of despised and rejected merchandise, the refuse of so many other buyers, and I will go about distributing it, not in the great cities, but in the poorer towns, selling at discounts whatever the wares I offer may be worth. And what can I do when a woman plucks my heart? Alas, how she triumphs over me, and yet I must persist! The Point by Leonardo da Vinci, circa 1500 loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Here forms, colors, the character of the entire universe, contract to a point, and that point is miraculous, marvelous … O marvelous, O miraculous, O stupendous Necessity! By your elegant laws you compel every effect to be the direct result of its cause, by the shortest path possible. Such are your miracles! Old age, believe me, is a blessing. While it’s true you get gently shouldered off the stage, you’re awarded such a comfortable front row seat as spectator. — Confucius, loose translation by Michael R. Burch Improve yourself by others' writings, attaining freely what they purchased at the expense of experience. — Socrates, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Are mayflies missed by mountains? Do stars applaud the glowworm’s stellar mimicry? —Michael R. Burch Sinking by Michael R. Burch for Virginia Woolf Weigh me down with stones ...      fill all the pockets of my gown ...           I’m going down,                mad as the world                     that can’t recover,                          to where even mermaids drown ... Keywords/Tags: Leonardo da Vinci, epigram, epitaph, poem, quote, translation, silence, election, spring, nature, art, poetry, poet, poets Published as the collection "Leonardo da Vinci Poems, Epigrams and Quotes"
0
Dec 11, 2020
Dec 11, 2020 at 5:52 AM UTC
LEONARDO DA VINCI POEMS, EPIGRAMS AND QUOTES
LEONARDO DA VINCI POEMS, EPIGRAMS AND QUOTES These are my modern English translations of the poems, epigrams and quotes of Leonardo da Vinci. I believe the first six epigrams pertain to the current American election crisis … Nothing enables authority like silence.—Leonardo da Vinci, translation by Michael R. Burch The greatest deceptions spring from men’s own opinions.—Leonardo da Vinci, translation by Michael R. Burch There are three classes of people: Those who see by themselves. Those who see only when they are shown. Those who refuse to see.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Blinding ignorance misleads us. Myopic mortals, open your eyes!—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch It is easier to oppose evil from the beginning than at the end.—Leonardo da Vinci, translation by Michael R. Burch Small minds continue to shrink, but those whose hearts are firm and whose consciences endorse their conduct, will persevere until death.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch I am impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowledge is not enough; we must apply ourselves. Wanting and being willing are insufficient; we must act.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Time is sufficient for anyone who uses it wisely.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Once we have flown, we will forever walk the earth with our eyes turned heavenward, for there we were and will always long to return.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch The great achievers rarely relaxed and let things happen to them. They set out and kick-started whatever happened.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Where the spirit does not aid and abet the hand there is no art.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Necessity is the mistress of mother nature's inventions.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Nature has no effect without cause, no invention without necessity.—Leonardo da Vinci, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Did Leonardo da Vinci anticipate Darwin with his comments about Nature and necessity being the mistress of her inventions? Yes, and his studies of comparative anatomy, including the intestines, led da Vinci to say explicitly that "apes, monkeys and the like" are not merely related to humans but are "almost of the same species." He was, indeed, a man ahead of his time, by at least 350 years. Excerpts from “Paragone of Poetry and Painting” and Other Writings by Leonardo da Vinci, circa 1500 loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Sculpture requires light, received from above, while a painting contains its own light and shade. Painting is the more beautiful, the more imaginative, the more copious, while sculpture is merely the more durable. Painting encompasses infinite possibilities which sculpture cannot command. But you, O Painter, unless you can make your figures move, are like an orator who can’t bring his words to life! While as soon as the Poet abandons nature, he ceases to resemble the Painter; for if the Poet abandons the natural figure for flowery and flattering speech, he becomes an orator and is thus neither Poet nor Painter. Painting is poetry seen but not heard, while poetry is painting heard but not seen. And if the Poet calls painting dumb poetry, the Painter may call poetry blind painting. Yet poor is the pupil who fails to surpass his master! Shun those studies in which the work dies with the worker. Because I find no subject especially useful or pleasing and because those who preceded me appropriated every useful theme, I will be like the beggar who comes late to the fair, who must content himself with other buyers' rejects. Thus, I will load my humble cart full of despised and rejected merchandise, the refuse of so many other buyers, and I will go about distributing it, not in the great cities, but in the poorer towns, selling at discounts whatever the wares I offer may be worth. And what can I do when a woman plucks my heart? Alas, how she triumphs over me, and yet I must persist! The Point by Leonardo da Vinci, circa 1500 loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Here forms, colors, the character of the entire universe, contract to a point, and that point is miraculous, marvelous … O marvelous, O miraculous, O stupendous Necessity! By your elegant laws you compel every effect to be the direct result of its cause, by the shortest path possible. Such are your miracles! Old age, believe me, is a blessing. While it’s true you get gently shouldered off the stage, you’re awarded such a comfortable front row seat as spectator. — Confucius, loose translation by Michael R. Burch Improve yourself by others' writings, attaining freely what they purchased at the expense of experience. — Socrates, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Are mayflies missed by mountains? Do stars applaud the glowworm’s stellar mimicry? —Michael R. Burch Sinking by Michael R. Burch for Virginia Woolf Weigh me down with stones ...      fill all the pockets of my gown ...           I’m going down,                mad as the world                     that can’t recover,                          to where even mermaids drown ... Keywords/Tags: Leonardo da Vinci, epigram, epitaph, poem, quote, translation, silence, election, spring, nature, art, poetry, poet, poets Published as the collection "Leonardo da Vinci Poems, Epigrams and Quotes"
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72
Leonardo Di Caprio, Leonardo DiCaprio, yeah
0
Jun 8, 2019
Jun 8, 2019 at 8:17 PM UTC
LeonardOde (A Haiku)
At the cinema they project a movie And in that movie at a certain point it's raining And it's a so realistic rain That I pull the jacket on Almost to protect myself Even outside it's raining, or Perhaps  not. It's truth this rain that in a dream we dream Even when it's raining outside? * POESIA 2: Al cinema danno un film e nel film a un certo punto piove ed è una pioggia così realistica che io mi tiro addosso il giubbino quasi a proteggermi anche fuori sta piovendo, o forse no. E’ vera la pioggia che in un sogno sogniamo anche quando fuori piove?
0
Sep 23, 2018
Sep 23, 2018 at 6:11 AM UTC
POEM 2 (poesia 2)
I paved my life with defeats, diagrams, sequences, sculptures, sound escapes, wood or stone and what I have got about you: strength together with strength. A lightning always finds the ground , later (it finds) life, if that were not enough. I read that she was a telly star and that the world's engine is not the money. * ** lastricato la mia vita di sconfitte, schemi sequenze sculture fughe di suoni, legno o pietra e quello che ** di te: forza unita a forza. Un fulmine trova sempre il terreno, più tardi la vita, se ciò non bastasse. ** letto che era una star della tivù via cavo e che il motore del mondo non è il denaro.
0
Sep 22, 2018
Sep 22, 2018 at 11:31 AM UTC
TELLY STARS (Star della Tv via cavo)
most visitors usually imagine her as a stranger Just the same, she looks. But surely Leonardo da Vinci would have understood her. Leonardo would have relished, And remembered
0
Jun 13, 2018
Jun 13, 2018 at 8:51 PM UTC
Leo's Girl
a mystery to fathom in a famous frame smiling from canvas with story to tell oh lady of the portrait oh lady of fame the painter captured your face so well those who study art ponder and ruminate on the enigmatic pose that doth beguile no brush strokes conveying your mind state angles inspected of daubed profile yet the secret stays ever concealed baffling them all with slightly turned lip nothing of the puzzle being so revealed closeted away in an artist's dip Leonardo da Vinci yielded scant insight on masterfully shading the subject's light
0
Mar 8, 2018
Mar 8, 2018 at 5:09 PM UTC
Subject's Light (Sonnet)
Faded tree figures loom near, visible as a smear on what used to be the Mona Lisa. The great work of art goes to waste as its paint is fingered, by each person, like its some sort of photocopy, covering the masterpiece with old, dirt, and impurities that are not naturally occurring on skin. Leonardo da Vinci would be appalled at our treatment of his gift, made to be given to one person, yet he loved it... and gave it to us instead. Now stare once again at its poor condition.
0
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 3:10 PM UTC
Fallen in F#
Leonardo Da Vinci Vassily Kandinsky
0
May 26, 2014
May 26, 2014 at 1:59 PM UTC
Haiku
My heart goes numb And my stomach turns sour When it becomes apparent That best male actor Has been won by a man With an alliterative name And I still have The same number of Oscars As Leonardo DiCaprio
0
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014 at 1:12 PM UTC
Leo
I sat there before the man puzzled in a loss for words now I finally understood how most people dealing with me felt for a change. So what do you think? The man asked with a gleeful look in his eye minus the ****** gay *** musical covers of once kickass music . Looking at the cover of what was supposed to be my master work A Cold Beer Beats A Warm Heart yes a shameless self plug really if that's the lowest you believe I have sunk in life I feel sorry for you. I viewed the cover looking for a nice rational response to my publisher let's call him **** for brains ******* I wish would die! And you thought I hated the like button. It ******* suck's **** amigo. What ? ,Are team spent hours designing this it's catchy and edgy it screams you . I knew this man without a doubt was on far better drugs than I had ever tried in my life once told me one thing. I really needed to figure out where this guy  hid his drug's. Okay what don't you like about it? Duh who wants a picture of Leonardo Dicaprio  on there cover of there book. What? The man looked at me stunned then looked at the cover again that acid must really be kicking in for he kept doing this several times before finally breaking his odd silence. It's a picture of a water bottle next to some swiss cheese . Duh ******* I said in a respectful manner like I said who wants a picture of that ****** bag Leonardo Dacaprio on there cover . What the hell are you talking about this cover is brilliant we have been working like almost  one whole day to put this together  now what's the ******* problem with it? The publisher said this to me in his outside voice and being it was indoors it led me to believe the stuff he was on was wearing off . I had to try another approach I had to  get down to his level and this couldn't be achieved with any store bought whiskey so I broke out my trusty mason jar and took a big hit of some good corn whiskey. After finally catching my breath and when my vision slightly returned I broke my silence. Look my friend it's simple when selling a book with my name on it the reader expects a few simple thing's One bad taste and bad spelling. Two long writes of total ********** with lots of mentions of ******* . And most important a cover with some hot half naked  strippers duh what doesn't say poetry like hookers ? Okay and your point is this strange man who signed me to a contract yet thought for some reason the crazy **** I spoke of was simply a act. My point is you can't put a picture of Leonardo Dicaprio on my book. It's not a picture of him it's a water bottle next to some swiss cheese . Shh I told this delusional man, far worse than myself . I motioned him to lean closer and in a whisper I said what about the curse? What ******* curse he said once again in much to loud of a voice I swear this man was far harder to train then one of my barley legal girlfriends  course I didn't have my whip or coyotes I'm kidding I don't have any coyotes what do I seem like Lily Mae ? Look sir everyone knows  about the Dicaprio . The what ?, Are you ******* insane  ? Well yes but that's not the point here sir by the way what's that sent your wearing? Oh it's axe do you  like it's broke back swallow lighting. No actually I was going to ask had you ran over a skunk or a French *****  . We rambled on a bit and after couple of hit's from Mr Gonzo's  family recipe. Then just to drag this ****** out we spoke about how axe body spray is great if you want to smell like a French ***** not that I know any but hey message me I'm always here cause I have no life . But enough with the foreplay children. I told my ever so high and drunken pain in the **** friend the legend of the Dicaprio and how if you said his name four time's in the mirror after the fourth time he would appear  and then take you hostage while torturing you with the cruelest act possible . Making you watch all his boring *** movies while jerking him off on the couch till you were bored to death. Oh my God ! ,The publisher responded in terror ! We have to stop this book from getting in the hands of young people everywhere ! The publisher knowing just how serious this matter was called the publishing house slash back room in a Atlanta **** theater . But it was to late the books had already been sent out . And soon something far worse than a zombie outbreak would take hold of the world one city at a time . Dear Lord what had I created ? It all started off so innocent just like a **** movie with script really does anyone care to have art direction in there **** Some little hamster would buy the book in some bargain rack thinking why is that ****** bag Leonardo on the cover ? Then they would show it to a friend the book I mean whatever they do in there private life is up to them I'm not judging but if there hot chicks send me a pic or two I'm just saying throw a dog a bone  . But then the two hamsters would always mention hey have you ever Dicaprioed?   And as always that heartless ******* would strike again dam you James Cameron  what did you unleash upon this earth. I would go in hiding in shame for my creation of course I still spent my royalty checks on hookers ***** and *******  but although I seemed happy inside I was hurting . Duh I'm kidding  hell anyone dumb enough to summon the dark lord of boring *** movies gets what they deserve. My publisher would hang himself well I can always wish . And as all ten of my devoted fans scratched there heads as to why is there a pic of a ****** bag on the cover . The answer was simple . Cause publishers are stupid and more high than I could ever be so don't sign **** kids or you to will be driven into the depths of further madness much like yours truly . Stay crazy. Gonzo
0
Apr 8, 2014
Apr 8, 2014 at 3:05 PM UTC
Mr Gonzo And The Publisher Of Doom
I sat there before the man puzzled in a loss for words now I finally understood how most people dealing with me felt for a change. So what do you think? The man asked with a gleeful look in his eye minus the ****** gay *** musical covers of once kickass music . Looking at the cover of what was supposed to be my master work A Cold Beer Beats A Warm Heart yes a shameless self plug really if that's the lowest you believe I have sunk in life I feel sorry for you. I viewed the cover looking for a nice rational response to my publisher let's call him **** for brains ******* I wish would die! And you thought I hated the like button. It ******* suck's **** amigo. What ? ,Are team spent hours designing this it's catchy and edgy it screams you . I knew this man without a doubt was on far better drugs than I had ever tried in my life once told me one thing. I really needed to figure out where this guy  hid his drug's. Okay what don't you like about it? Duh who wants a picture of Leonardo Dicaprio  on there cover of there book. What? The man looked at me stunned then looked at the cover again that acid must really be kicking in for he kept doing this several times before finally breaking his odd silence. It's a picture of a water bottle next to some swiss cheese . Duh ******* I said in a respectful manner like I said who wants a picture of that ****** bag Leonardo Dacaprio on there cover . What the hell are you talking about this cover is brilliant we have been working like almost  one whole day to put this together  now what's the ******* problem with it? The publisher said this to me in his outside voice and being it was indoors it led me to believe the stuff he was on was wearing off . I had to try another approach I had to  get down to his level and this couldn't be achieved with any store bought whiskey so I broke out my trusty mason jar and took a big hit of some good corn whiskey. After finally catching my breath and when my vision slightly returned I broke my silence. Look my friend it's simple when selling a book with my name on it the reader expects a few simple thing's One bad taste and bad spelling. Two long writes of total ********** with lots of mentions of ******* . And most important a cover with some hot half naked  strippers duh what doesn't say poetry like hookers ? Okay and your point is this strange man who signed me to a contract yet thought for some reason the crazy **** I spoke of was simply a act. My point is you can't put a picture of Leonardo Dicaprio on my book. It's not a picture of him it's a water bottle next to some swiss cheese . Shh I told this delusional man, far worse than myself . I motioned him to lean closer and in a whisper I said what about the curse? What ******* curse he said once again in much to loud of a voice I swear this man was far harder to train then one of my barley legal girlfriends  course I didn't have my whip or coyotes I'm kidding I don't have any coyotes what do I seem like Lily Mae ? Look sir everyone knows  about the Dicaprio . The what ?, Are you ******* insane  ? Well yes but that's not the point here sir by the way what's that sent your wearing? Oh it's axe do you  like it's broke back swallow lighting. No actually I was going to ask had you ran over a skunk or a French *****  . We rambled on a bit and after couple of hit's from Mr Gonzo's  family recipe. Then just to drag this ****** out we spoke about how axe body spray is great if you want to smell like a French ***** not that I know any but hey message me I'm always here cause I have no life . But enough with the foreplay children. I told my ever so high and drunken pain in the **** friend the legend of the Dicaprio and how if you said his name four time's in the mirror after the fourth time he would appear  and then take you hostage while torturing you with the cruelest act possible . Making you watch all his boring *** movies while jerking him off on the couch till you were bored to death. Oh my God ! ,The publisher responded in terror ! We have to stop this book from getting in the hands of young people everywhere ! The publisher knowing just how serious this matter was called the publishing house slash back room in a Atlanta **** theater . But it was to late the books had already been sent out . And soon something far worse than a zombie outbreak would take hold of the world one city at a time . Dear Lord what had I created ? It all started off so innocent just like a **** movie with script really does anyone care to have art direction in there **** Some little hamster would buy the book in some bargain rack thinking why is that ****** bag Leonardo on the cover ? Then they would show it to a friend the book I mean whatever they do in there private life is up to them I'm not judging but if there hot chicks send me a pic or two I'm just saying throw a dog a bone  . But then the two hamsters would always mention hey have you ever Dicaprioed?   And as always that heartless ******* would strike again dam you James Cameron  what did you unleash upon this earth. I would go in hiding in shame for my creation of course I still spent my royalty checks on hookers ***** and *******  but although I seemed happy inside I was hurting . Duh I'm kidding  hell anyone dumb enough to summon the dark lord of boring *** movies gets what they deserve. My publisher would hang himself well I can always wish . And as all ten of my devoted fans scratched there heads as to why is there a pic of a ****** bag on the cover . The answer was simple . Cause publishers are stupid and more high than I could ever be so don't sign **** kids or you to will be driven into the depths of further madness much like yours truly . Stay crazy. Gonzo
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