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#leavemebe
Every day feels the same. I wear the same checkered shirts, eat the same food, go to the same classes, cry at the same story. It never changes. And it never ends. My life continues to be a TV drama gone wrong and all I want to do is burn it all. My shoulders are too high, shaking in 3 second shockwaves. My face is losing colour and life. The energy drained from my body. Strength beaten out of my arms and back. There is not a whole lot of me left. So don't go looking for the living among the dead. Not if the host's body is already a graveyard. Not a lot left to lose except for my own lone life. But I'm thanatophobic so an empty threat suicide isn't really doing anything. And no, I don't want to hear about how "good of a person I am". It makes me sick, I'm sick of hearing about how this is going to get better. I do not care to hear how it is "so easy" to just switch back to how I used to be. It is never that easy. I don't care if I can make this better, because right now, it is not up to me. What I do, does not matter. There will be no justice... And no forgiveness. At least I'm still in pain. It assures me that I am feeling anything at all.
0
Apr 27, 2017
Apr 27, 2017 at 6:58 PM UTC
Swingline
Throwaway Letter #7
Every day feels the same. I wear the same checkered shirts, eat the same food, go to the same classes, cry at the same story. It never changes. And it never ends. My life continues to be a TV drama gone wrong and all I want to do is burn it all. My shoulders are too high, shaking in 3 second shockwaves. My face is losing colour and life. The energy drained from my body. Strength beaten out of my arms and back. There is not a whole lot of me left. So don't go looking for the living among the dead. Not if the host's body is already a graveyard. Not a lot left to lose except for my own lone life. But I'm thanatophobic so an empty threat suicide isn't really doing anything. And no, I don't want to hear about how "good of a person I am". It makes me sick, I'm sick of hearing about how this is going to get better. I do not care to hear how it is "so easy" to just switch back to how I used to be. It is never that easy. I don't care if I can make this better, because right now, it is not up to me. What I do, does not matter. There will be no justice... And no forgiveness. At least I'm still in pain. It assures me that I am feeling anything at all.
Continue reading...
14
Right. Thats who i am.  Who ill always be. Just do me a favor and lock away the key But like usual I forgot something else again Worthless trophy locked away on this dusty shelf Used to the darkness And the shadows of doubt Scattered pieces lie about Bleed me dry tear me apart Do it correctly, inside out But even with that dusty key I would still be stuck here it seems Too afraid of what lies beyond Paper thin door Memmories never vanquished Never even gone They play with my concious Twist and pull those strings Making me flinch and panic yet again The wounds run deep Your words become mine Oh dont worry, my demons are pleased Theyre having a great time The scars? Forget them not. The stitches were better used on others The ones not forgot. But hey, thats ok. I never wanted them anyway. Newly healed hurts more to break, Than the skin always broken anyway.
0
Nov 25, 2016
Nov 25, 2016 at 12:40 PM UTC
cookiecutterstars-milkynights
Porcelain mouth-Broken scream
Right. Thats who i am.  Who ill always be. Just do me a favor and lock away the key But like usual I forgot something else again Worthless trophy locked away on this dusty shelf Used to the darkness And the shadows of doubt Scattered pieces lie about Bleed me dry tear me apart Do it correctly, inside out But even with that dusty key I would still be stuck here it seems Too afraid of what lies beyond Paper thin door Memmories never vanquished Never even gone They play with my concious Twist and pull those strings Making me flinch and panic yet again The wounds run deep Your words become mine Oh dont worry, my demons are pleased Theyre having a great time The scars? Forget them not. The stitches were better used on others The ones not forgot. But hey, thats ok. I never wanted them anyway. Newly healed hurts more to break, Than the skin always broken anyway.
Continue reading...
32