#lamentations
Sweet envy,
I'm envious of how she was blessed by the gods to have looked into your eyes, eye to eye. To study their color and watch how they look when you lie.
She knows the way you blink and how you close them when you sleep at night.
I hate thinking how you've both spent some nights.
The thought of her taking granted of breathing the same air as you boils my blood.
I'm jealous of how she was able to graze her fingers upon your skin, let them travel across your back
and how her hand once held yours... only to foolishly, finally and thankfully let them go.
I curse and bless the day she broke your heart.
I curse each day that I have to live with this jealousy.
Holy jealousy,
I'm jealous of the kind of jealousy you've made her feel, like when you would glance at another girl when you're together.
Or how you'd talk to a girl in a cafe or bookstore when you thought she wasn't looking over her shoulder.
Or how you'd talk to anyone about anything at all without uttering her name.
I'm jealous of how you two probably used to stand across each other in a room and throw blames.
I could imagine countless of scenarios but then
I also imagine I'm the one feeling that too.
I can take that any day, as long as we're together too.
Because the only jealousy I feel is jealousy of your past. This fiery envy towards your history.
****** history,
I'm reading into every words you said like memoirs and piecing every excerpt trying to look for answers. Answer as to how and whyㅡhow she broke your heart and why she did it.
Would you change a thing about everything you did?
I ask and scream these questions to the moonlight.
Yet if you tell me and show me the answers yourself, there's not a single battle that I would win and fight.
Yet I search for clues in every old photo, in every message and through my sly, secret ways.
Must I scour every corner and highway?
So I can come up with answers to my own 'how and why'? How can I mend your broken heart?
Why do I love you this much?
Because above all, I am a revolutionary.
I acknowledge my envy, work through my jealousy and respect your history.
But then again, with every dark history comes the need for revolution and change.
And I am the catalyst who will spearhead that game.
I am your new age.
I am your renaissance.
I am your vengeance, nirvana, revolution and everything at once.
Apr 26, 2022
Apr 26, 2022 at 6:10 AM UTC
I never cease to wonder
At the dawning
Of the
Sun
His
Glory, bright –
The Mercy-Light –
It leaves my heart undone
.
Nov 8, 2020
Nov 8, 2020 at 9:27 AM UTC
Falling like leaves off a rotten tree.
Husks of fruits and seeds; the ripen and those who will not complete their deeds.
Not bound by cold decrees, nor lifted by the warm breeze. Travelers who've reached the destination, faces lost to me.
We shared a way; hearts filling veins and soles stepping on lanes, dreams kept us sane, how things change; even in stagnation it's impossible for everything to stay the same. We were many now left with few, the numbers keep rising; those who now enjoy a view.
Never been one to believe in haven or hell,
I can feel that which separates us is but a vail. They, as the sea, are unbound free; as there are desert coasts one can know drought before they decide to float. Ships sailing on the horizon; they look like they would tip the moment the sky sings, I did not see the strike but the thunder now rings.
I look for understanding not pity because ,you see, if life is like a movie my future plot now has deleted scenes because one can not simply recast anything, especially, when the actors character was the key. If Ndingumntu I'm now missing more parts of me.
Jul 28, 2020
Jul 28, 2020 at 9:36 PM UTC
If ever the dusk settles on dry bones
I'll drink my ***** for wine
And celebrate
The impotence.
Mar 6, 2019
Mar 6, 2019 at 12:18 AM UTC
Why should the Light return upon
Our cold and darkened land?
When, into sleep, we drift and yawn,
So thoughtless of His hand...
We never think: "Someday it may
Forever cease to shine!"
We never thank – with thanks, befit –
For Morning Mercies' rise.
Why should the Light return upon
Our cold and darkened land?
But to awaken life at dawn
As He, in Goodness, planned...
We never, then, have an excuse
To fall into a dream
We never, then, can e’re accuse;
His Glory’s, daily, seen.
.
Feb 2, 2019
Feb 2, 2019 at 11:41 AM UTC
I’d trace your spine until you felt the love from my fingertips burn hotter than the pain shrieking in your bones.
I’d fiddle with your lamp until it was the perfect shade of indigo.
I’d keep watch for you in the dark and shield you in the blinding light.
I’d run you baths that made you feel pure.
you’d never sleep alone,
unless you wanted to.
even then,
I’d be sitting against your door
with a glass of tea,
fruit,
and your pills.
I’d write you pathetic sonnets.
I’d sing you off-key songs.
I’d read you poetry that brought us both to tears.
I’d draw you stupid doodles and try to make you laugh.
you’d never be alone
on the miserable floor.
those ********
with all their relentless,
maddening buzz
wouldn’t be heard over me.
louder,
or more demanding.
I’d feed you Nutella: my very last spoonful.
I’d clean your room as often as you wanted, or never.
I’d take you to bookshops and cafés and nowhere at all.
I’d sit with you and play with your piercings.
you wouldn’t be alone,
staring awake at dawn.
the dark,
it wouldn’t be spent so restlessly.
I wouldn’t quieten my desire.
no.
not this time.
I’d say I’m sorry when I laughed so hard I spit.
I’d love you when you couldn’t love yourself.
I’d care for you when all you saw was waste.
I’d carry you wherever we went and tell everyone you’re mine.
Jan 24, 2018
Jan 24, 2018 at 10:57 PM UTC
sometimes
my body betrays me;
i try to form words of consolation
in my mouth
but it knits itself
into anger
i am blinded in;
i desire to dance just
beyond death's fingerprints
but i am shackled
with life's endless waltz.
i do not weep for
what had been lost
but for
what is to come.
Nov 23, 2017
Nov 23, 2017 at 6:19 AM UTC
As an answer of pray
You imagining me
And the open hand is this city
Overgrown with chaos, silence,
You, and similar complexity.
I have to fall, somewhere
Because this thin cable will finished over.
Tired of bearing the burden on my body.
Tired of bearing conversations
Which often ends with confession
And uncertainty.
Lamentations that fill the air
Will not take me anywhere
The sky is gloomy, the city
Knowing sorrow much better than before.
I must fall, my love.
I won't fall anywhere but to you.
But I couldn't finding you.
Aug 2, 2017
Aug 2, 2017 at 1:37 AM UTC
Nicotine
When I'm with you,
I'm overcome with temptation
to release onto you
all my lamentations,
but I don't want to be
an extra weight on your mind,
I know how hard it is
to lift yourself up sometimes.
Because sometimes you
are the heaviest thing in the world,
and the world doesn't
understand that,
blaming triggers,
applying bandaids to wounds
that'll bleed long after the
bandaid's ripped off.
We're both hemophiliacs
drowning in breathtaking chemicals,
in our bones, fragility seeping,
our skin continuously bleeding.
But you and I
are more than this,
more than a shortage of bliss.
We're the passion felt
through a tender kiss,
We're addictive,
like the magnetic pull
of your lips.
I hope you know
sometimes I have to
force the monster out of me
to escape life's bitter bite,
but she loves you just the same,
and I hope you know that
in her, you summone the light.
And when she's with you,
she's overcome with temptation
to release onto you
all her lamentations,
and everytime,
you feel so safe,
she almost does,
she almost does.
Thankyou for reading! Please comment your thoughts on this one and your favourite part/line and why it's your favourite. ^.^ Your comments make my days.
Feb 8, 2017
Feb 8, 2017 at 6:44 AM UTC
Allah has brought my heart to bear,
become a witness to an Arab plight.
The call to arm's it beckons so...
division it aches and cremates the care.
Oh Great Holy Prophet show me today,
as sadness covers heart, soul and mind.
Let judgement pass before it's too late,
redeem my soul or the martyr's way?
Jul 27, 2016
Jul 27, 2016 at 1:33 PM UTC
A regal nose leads down to luscious lips
A tiny waist yields to imperial hips
The wasp-like figure zips past, fairy-fast
And leaves him dangling in her wake, aghast.
"Like young deer on the mountain-top" says he,
"They rise and fall as shivers come to me.
They rack my soul with conquests sweet as wine,
And raise me up to lofty heights sublime."
She smiles gently; wrens tap tiny dance
Upon her gaze, he looks and finds his trance
Her eyes as blackened hazel, all afire
With love and lust and mirrors of desire.
He reaches out his hand to touch her own
As skin grasps pastel flesh, lets out a moan
As softly she caresses him so light,
Then disappears into the dark of night.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 1:00 PM UTC
I sing of songs of lamentations
Of what was once
And would have been
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 5:08 PM UTC
You had taken me so far
And I should have trusted you.
Instead, I turned my back, and so
Then you had to, too.
You had made me into a queen
But I did not fear the grave.
So, I decided I knew better...
And now I am a slave.
You had made me full of greatness.
But then I turned and fled.
Now I live in exile,
Tired, widowed, deserted.
I did not consider my future
When I decided to rebel against you.
They say the fall was astounding
And over time my sorrows grew.
So now what is left to do?
I have no one to comfort or help me.
Instead of keeping my eyes on you,
I decided to live life selfishly.
Apr 17, 2015
Apr 17, 2015 at 12:19 PM UTC
Oh ! the empty hole
That palpitates through my soul
Where nothing consumes all
And silence is deafening
The cold sun rises
Hollow
Upon my pale ways
My empty eyes gaze
into a space
Where I cannot be
My mouth tastes the chains
Of Freedom bitter in grit and rust
And my nostrils swell with
The stench of the situation
And the silence is deafening
As all the while a cold sun
Rises pale upon my hollow days
Nov 13, 2014
Nov 13, 2014 at 2:07 AM UTC