#kokichi
Counting the steps you take.
Your fingers touching mine.
These walls I built up over time.
Slowly, you take them down.
This violent facade.
Eating me up inside.
I want to scream but I can't.
This is who I am now.
I distance myself.
Scared of getting hurt.
But you approached me.
And became my world.
I still detest how I acted back then.
I pushed you away.
When you tried to understand.
But the facade I made.
Crumbled down.
The only one I loved.
The only one I trusted.
You stood there, captivated by me.
Wishing I wouldn't go.
Everybody's words.
Like swords that cut deep.
I can't forgive them.
Can I even forgive myself?
So I let go of the anxieties.
Because despite my actions.
My true nature is love.
I love you, Shuichi - this is to be known.
These lies I built as walls of protection.
Break down and cover me.
Suffocate me.
I let myself be crushed under the weight.
Much like a hydraulic press.
Even after death, I will still love you.
You spoke to me, loathed me.
But I still love you.
And that will never change.
You ask why I lied.
I lie all the time.
It's my only defence.
From the people outside.
I know you don't understand.
Maybe you never will.
But that's okay.
My heart is open for you to accept.
After all,
"I" am just a "lie" that makes up "me."
Jun 13, 2018
Jun 13, 2018 at 8:16 AM UTC