#kindling
i can’t recall when i began keeping count–
birthday, dishes, the hours i owe everyone.
perhaps it’s an eldest daughter thing,
this arithmetic of living,
the way we measure love in exhaustion
and flinch when the days move too fast.
i was twelve when i first felt the floor tilt,
when i understood that eldest daughters
do not grow up—
they evaporate,
slowly,
gracefully,
until all that’s left is the scent of wax
and unfinished prayers.
i thought i’d be somewhere else by now.
doing something that made my chest feel wide,
like when you’re running downhill and laughing.
but the world kept turning,
and i kept staying,
like someone left behind in her own story.
the candle hisses—
a sound so small it almost sounds like breathing.
i stare at it,
wonder if the wax ever resents the wick
for making it disappear just to keep burning.
maybe that’s what this is.
me, disappearing in small ways.
learning to call it love.
Oct 26, 2025
Oct 26, 2025 at 11:23 AM UTC
One breath, we were family
the next, two silhouettes unrecognisable.
Are we strangers now?
I’m unsure.
But I do know this:
we stood, souls stripped,
bare in the quiet between us.
I wanted to trust you
to lay my heart in your palms
like kindling,
hoping you’d keep it warm.
Still, I ache.
Not just for your touch,
but for that fierce, wordless belonging.
Jul 6, 2025
Jul 6, 2025 at 6:56 PM UTC
Meeting you felt like a spark
Kindling catching fire.
The catalyst that started it all.
Sparking ember; light flashes
Delight and glee at the power of it all.
Life starting.
As we picked up speed,
We lost control
We lost ourselves
We lost the magic.
The twinkle of possibility
Turned into fear
Of what we could become.
The fire was not contained.
It kept spreading
We did not how to slow it down
How to stop it
How to control it.
Molten lava dripped down
Leaving behind a barren mountain.
Burnt trees and homes
Destruction.
You loved me so fiercely that I burned,
Now you’ll only be left with ashes.
I hope you learned the risks of playing with fire.
Jul 1, 2024
Jul 1, 2024 at 10:00 PM UTC
Render me living,
I have walked too long
With lurid eyes of sunken white.
My hollow heart, empty veins,
A shade of black, within me:
Colors dark as night.
And the flame I have been kindling,
It too, appears
To want to die
Jun 21, 2023
Jun 21, 2023 at 12:42 PM UTC
love has made me
kindling for itself
so belonging
and suitable I was
that the smallest touch
burnt me afire
and the me who wanted
died wanting too much
Sep 10, 2022
Sep 10, 2022 at 9:43 AM UTC
The prettiest smiles
Have the most broken minds
I say this as I keep my grin wide
I say this as I tie my tie
Looking into the mirror asking who am I
As if I have some truth to find
Just a guy who learned to write,
Searching for something that feels right
While I type on a screen I hold tenaciously
Thinking of the next line too long
The screen decides to turn off
Then it's me staring back at me
But in blackened version barely seen.
I stare at stars and wonder who's looking too
Reflecting light from me back to you
That's a lengthy light-year way to say
We are connected everyday.
It's chilly making bones brittle
Flicking my wrist to crack a little
I should really make my way to fire
Just a spark, the flames crack and spittle
Turning ablaze to something to admire.
The hardest nightmares
Can lead to the most beautiful dreams
I think this when my head screams.
Something wonderful awaits in time
Retracing my soul in every line
Searching for myself to find
I'm just a human with a creative mind.
Dec 6, 2019
Dec 6, 2019 at 1:41 AM UTC
Loving
And being truly loved in return,
A warm kindling of a fire,
Is such a different feeling
Compared to the inorganic
slow burn
Of a lighter
Held to your heart
(Don’t panic)
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 13, 2018 at 2:17 AM UTC
She doesn't understand
my heart upon sleeve
I'll never ever leave her
something she won't believe
my cuts ever part of me
as blood within my veins
every single part of me
her love her kiss, sustains
I'll never be the revelry
or the heaven she desires
but every single part of me
the fuel upon
her fires
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 11:38 PM UTC
You say i'll never be secure
I'll always be the one jealous of her.
I think she's just who you'd prefer.
You only see skin color. I'm pale and thinner.
Maybe if I was thicker, hair was longer,
You wouldn't long for her.
Or have me thinking im mediocre and crying all October.
I was hoping our memories would hold you over.
It's my birthday, no reason to stay sober.
Try to remember me before
I made mistakes, i just wanted to explore.
I got ahead of myself, i wandered too far.
Fell from a cliff tryin to get my **** licked.
Lost my inocence, then got lost in your forest.
Wanted to climb sequoias, now all I gots a toothpick,
and kindling, but I cant keep our flame lit.
so my hearts ripped and my minds split.
Do I choose love, do I choose happiness?
Do I walk away? i wont hear the end of it
My heart knows what my mind dont admit.
I could drive myself crazy, loosing my whits.
So i walk slow follow the signals, see it from your angle, stare out my window, watch the smoke flow.
I never wanna see you go as easily as this wind blows my clouds low, away from my home.
Try to grasp it, but it slips through my hold.
Always felt like you broke the mold.
Everyone before you was placebo, you were my libido.
Turned me into a loving creature, instead of who I am now, feral with fever. ******* for leisure, smoking until I cant see clear.
Wish I could go back to who you knew last year.
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 8, 2018 at 12:23 AM UTC
A kindling
A fire
An inferno
A pyre
Smouldering away within
A bitterness
A taste
A poison
Called fate
Combined and I might just sin
Jul 11, 2016
Jul 11, 2016 at 4:56 AM UTC
A kindling at bay, a linking uncertain. Even though the flame was not lit, it was not dead.
Feb 6, 2015
Feb 6, 2015 at 5:54 PM UTC