#kcspoetrycontest - Hello Poetry

I've got a loss of words, I feel nothing but everything and I'm not sure what it is but nothing is quite right but then again, nothing is quite wrong I think I've lost my mind in the thoughts of.. How can I be so blind? Who am I again - whats your name? look at the stars, they shine so bright. Get out of my head I want to get out of my own head please lets not do this You're a beautiful boy, I love you I hate you who are you? hold me close keep them away I can't do this I want to die. I feel nothing, I want to feel.

0

Jul 31, 2014

Jul 31, 2014 at 12:20 AM UTC

uhgsry

Lovers and bad trip on shroom.

I've got a loss of words, I feel nothing but everything and I'm not sure what it is but nothing is quite right but then again, nothing is quite wrong I think I've lost my mind in the thoughts of.. How can I be so blind? Who am I again - whats your name? look at the stars, they shine so bright. Get out of my head I want to get out of my own head please lets not do this You're a beautiful boy, I love you I hate you who are you? hold me close keep them away I can't do this I want to die. I feel nothing, I want to feel.

21

Lost Feeling lost in the depths of your mind Can't find a way out of the maze In a haze and dazed People say "She's just going through a phase" But it's deep In your soul You can't sleep or eat You don't wanna exist anymore Until you find a way to pick yourself up off the floor Sometimes it's a friend, Bended down on one knee Saying "Get up now, time to follow my lead" It's hard to believe, You don't even wanna try But a lovers smile Or a friends embrace... Sometimes that's all it takes Just tell yourself "I'm not living on the ground anymore" Get off the floor, It's gonna be better than before Find what needs to be found Turn your life around There's people worth living for I promise... "There's happiness out there" You just gotta believe Come on now Follow my lead I'll help you get where you're going I'm here, bended on one knee "Take my hand, I'll guide you through" I'm here to help you This is time for discovery, Believe in me It's never too late for recovery "Just follow me back to reality"

0

Sep 1, 2014

Sep 1, 2014 at 11:57 PM UTC

the-girl-who-loved-you

Back To Reality

Lost Feeling lost in the depths of your mind Can't find a way out of the maze In a haze and dazed People say "She's just going through a phase" But it's deep In your soul You can't sleep or eat You don't wanna exist anymore Until you find a way to pick yourself up off the floor Sometimes it's a friend, Bended down on one knee Saying "Get up now, time to follow my lead" It's hard to believe, You don't even wanna try But a lovers smile Or a friends embrace... Sometimes that's all it takes Just tell yourself "I'm not living on the ground anymore" Get off the floor, It's gonna be better than before Find what needs to be found Turn your life around There's people worth living for I promise... "There's happiness out there" You just gotta believe Come on now Follow my lead I'll help you get where you're going I'm here, bended on one knee "Take my hand, I'll guide you through" I'm here to help you This is time for discovery, Believe in me It's never too late for recovery "Just follow me back to reality"

40

The badge of pride as a ******* in high school was dunking your inflamed limbs into an ice bucket for 20 minutes, in Mr. Dewey’s office — the school trainer AND every girl's crush. I always wanted someone to pour ice water over my sores, and ****** always being healthy enough as Jess told the teacher loudly enough that she hurt her ankle at track AGAIN needed to see Dewman. Guess they were best friends now. **** When I fractured my back, I didn’t even get a doctor's note. Because I wasn’t on a school team. I was a gymnast for an outside club, not high school varsity. My high school had disbanded the gymnastics team in the 70’s. Said it was too much of a liability. The last team picture hung in the award cases on the first floor. I wished I could be one among those vintage leotards, framed in gold — the warriors of high school. Most of my classmates didn’t know I even did a sport. They just thought I was a bookworm who was flat-chested. Only the girls poked my abs in the locker room, asking how I got them. So I iced my wounds at home. I didn’t even know my back was broken and for a month I drank ibuprofen. Sharp pains biting more frequently, I finally went to the doctor. The nurse asked me if I wanted to look while she injected me with an isotope that poisoned my dreams of finishing the season. Green neon lit my bones, shedding the diagnosis — no gymnastics for six weeks. At school, I dressed to fit my backbrace: baggy t-shirts and sweatpants. My straightener rusted. Messy buns took precedence. I tried to go to practice, but my coaches told me to leave. But I had no where to be! And I had no friends at school. My only friends I watched get awards, not registered, but wearing my warmups. I swore how I could beat the competition from the stands. Stupid back. Stupid Christine. Stupid me. I should have never done that 1 1/2 twist front flip series. Poor bones landing on hard carpet repeatedly, I ignored the jolts as static electricity. Now everyone was working on new skills and I could barely do a cartwheel. That summer we had lots of pool parties — but I couldn’t dive in. So I sat on the ledge, feet dipped in, while everyone played chicken. — — — After six weeks of recovery, I start jogging. I did a roundalf, then a backhandspring. That night I was so sore — my memory of skills strong, but my muscle memory poor. Each stride into a tumbling pass felt like running in a pool. Some days I felt like sprinting down the tumble-track Other days I wanted to bounce on my back, stare at the ceiling, and feel each node of impact. Recovery day was my coach laying down a mat. Today was the day I’d repeat the skill that broke my back. I took a deep breathe and three long steps into the first part of the tumbling pass: roundoff, backhandspring, back layout one-and a-half twist, front flip stuck into a step. My coaches cheered and my friends clapped. I was back. Yes. I was back.

0

Sep 1, 2014

Sep 1, 2014 at 10:30 PM UTC

courtney-pruitt

no gymnastics for six weeks.

The badge of pride as a ******* in high school was dunking your inflamed limbs into an ice bucket for 20 minutes, in Mr. Dewey’s office — the school trainer AND every girl's crush. I always wanted someone to pour ice water over my sores, and ****** always being healthy enough as Jess told the teacher loudly enough that she hurt her ankle at track AGAIN needed to see Dewman. Guess they were best friends now. **** When I fractured my back, I didn’t even get a doctor's note. Because I wasn’t on a school team. I was a gymnast for an outside club, not high school varsity. My high school had disbanded the gymnastics team in the 70’s. Said it was too much of a liability. The last team picture hung in the award cases on the first floor. I wished I could be one among those vintage leotards, framed in gold — the warriors of high school. Most of my classmates didn’t know I even did a sport. They just thought I was a bookworm who was flat-chested. Only the girls poked my abs in the locker room, asking how I got them. So I iced my wounds at home. I didn’t even know my back was broken and for a month I drank ibuprofen. Sharp pains biting more frequently, I finally went to the doctor. The nurse asked me if I wanted to look while she injected me with an isotope that poisoned my dreams of finishing the season. Green neon lit my bones, shedding the diagnosis — no gymnastics for six weeks. At school, I dressed to fit my backbrace: baggy t-shirts and sweatpants. My straightener rusted. Messy buns took precedence. I tried to go to practice, but my coaches told me to leave. But I had no where to be! And I had no friends at school. My only friends I watched get awards, not registered, but wearing my warmups. I swore how I could beat the competition from the stands. Stupid back. Stupid Christine. Stupid me. I should have never done that 1 1/2 twist front flip series. Poor bones landing on hard carpet repeatedly, I ignored the jolts as static electricity. Now everyone was working on new skills and I could barely do a cartwheel. That summer we had lots of pool parties — but I couldn’t dive in. So I sat on the ledge, feet dipped in, while everyone played chicken. — — — After six weeks of recovery, I start jogging. I did a roundalf, then a backhandspring. That night I was so sore — my memory of skills strong, but my muscle memory poor. Each stride into a tumbling pass felt like running in a pool. Some days I felt like sprinting down the tumble-track Other days I wanted to bounce on my back, stare at the ceiling, and feel each node of impact. Recovery day was my coach laying down a mat. Today was the day I’d repeat the skill that broke my back. I took a deep breathe and three long steps into the first part of the tumbling pass: roundoff, backhandspring, back layout one-and a-half twist, front flip stuck into a step. My coaches cheered and my friends clapped. I was back. Yes. I was back.

84

Do I have too, the world is to much Every moment a struggle People don't see me the way I see inside Right now suicide is feeding me Every moment is getting to much So many friends, but talking can be to hard Sealing myself in, the out side a picture I wish upon a life, that I didn't feel this so much Open me up see what's turning inside out No that this is a illness, make a call, life is worth so much

0

Aug 12, 2014

Aug 12, 2014 at 11:30 AM UTC

poetic-t

Depression

Do I have too, the world is to much Every moment a struggle People don't see me the way I see inside Right now suicide is feeding me Every moment is getting to much So many friends, but talking can be to hard Sealing myself in, the out side a picture I wish upon a life, that I didn't feel this so much Open me up see what's turning inside out No that this is a illness, make a call, life is worth so much

10

A pool of black, crystal clear tears fall Pure thought sinks deep, A moment of clarity White, Grey, Black, Then swallowed once more. It once again as it was before, With the wind of sadness Blowing across, washing the darkness Upon the eyes shores, Falling tears of desperation, Clear falling, black tar upon the floor, I am not the shining star I was before I am a sun in it last gasp of light Dull Then Illuminated Darkness Then my mind will implode Then my light will be extinguished, No longer whole, Those crystal tears were the sunshine But now consumed in the pool, Darkness has now taken hold.

0

Aug 31, 2014

Aug 31, 2014 at 4:52 AM UTC

poetic-t

Pool of Dark Thoughts

A pool of black, crystal clear tears fall Pure thought sinks deep, A moment of clarity White, Grey, Black, Then swallowed once more. It once again as it was before, With the wind of sadness Blowing across, washing the darkness Upon the eyes shores, Falling tears of desperation, Clear falling, black tar upon the floor, I am not the shining star I was before I am a sun in it last gasp of light Dull Then Illuminated Darkness Then my mind will implode Then my light will be extinguished, No longer whole, Those crystal tears were the sunshine But now consumed in the pool, Darkness has now taken hold.

25

if you're lost without direction i will be one of maybe just a few i can be your own compass let me encompass you, when direction is unknown my arms are a place to move, come in enjoy the warmth for i will always face north straight true when your life is all recessions and really all depressions too let me be your compass let me come encompass you your Longitude and Latitude are all thrown in a muck let me get you to a place, where you wont feel so stuck The tropic of cancer Is not a place for one to linger if you need to grab my hand hold on like i'm your stringer when you cant gasp another breathe and there isn't anything you can do come, and let me be your compass, let me come and encompass you every sigh you relieve will help find you on the map, and every time you squeeze my hands, will help you to relax this world is full of problems, one thing that im for sure, so lets forget all the complacent and replace them with something more, wipe away your tears you wont need them where we are going. if your lost ill be your paddles we can find the way together and just like a little compass ill be here forever

0

Aug 30, 2014

Aug 30, 2014 at 7:12 PM UTC

adamc3

let me be your--------compass

if you're lost without direction i will be one of maybe just a few i can be your own compass let me encompass you, when direction is unknown my arms are a place to move, come in enjoy the warmth for i will always face north straight true when your life is all recessions and really all depressions too let me be your compass let me come encompass you your Longitude and Latitude are all thrown in a muck let me get you to a place, where you wont feel so stuck The tropic of cancer Is not a place for one to linger if you need to grab my hand hold on like i'm your stringer when you cant gasp another breathe and there isn't anything you can do come, and let me be your compass, let me come and encompass you every sigh you relieve will help find you on the map, and every time you squeeze my hands, will help you to relax this world is full of problems, one thing that im for sure, so lets forget all the complacent and replace them with something more, wipe away your tears you wont need them where we are going. if your lost ill be your paddles we can find the way together and just like a little compass ill be here forever

49

For every earnest question Your response lacked conviction An adroit silent escape Saying that’s how I am made Is like hammering my gentle trust Leaving my crackled heart in crust Just like your dire attempts to woo a foe I wanted a fraction of that attention you know I still in hope, of being understood later or soon Follow you like a goon!

0

Jul 29, 2014

Jul 29, 2014 at 7:19 AM UTC

bharti-singh

Follow........

For every earnest question Your response lacked conviction An adroit silent escape Saying that’s how I am made Is like hammering my gentle trust Leaving my crackled heart in crust Just like your dire attempts to woo a foe I wanted a fraction of that attention you know I still in hope, of being understood later or soon Follow you like a goon!

11

*Rains have stolen my rainbow terrain Left to yearn for the sunshine again Heart full of moss*

0

Jul 31, 2014

Jul 31, 2014 at 11:54 PM UTC

bharti-singh

Stolen rainbow

*Rains have stolen my rainbow terrain Left to yearn for the sunshine again Heart full of moss*

3

When your grey is marooned Life seems like a goon Pliability is cached somewhere Boldness becomes a tough affair Brooding over roughs Becomes the way of life Seething over pain Is all you think is fine Strong mind becomes So fragile and meek Constant approval always Is then what you seek Yes, yes, you are B R O K E N from within But do you realize Only a broke knows Value of everything So unleash the pain In one go and just holler Remember, every holler Makes you stronger Once your anguish Is washed out in tears Your vision to foresee Future becomes clear Say cheers to life!

0

Aug 26, 2014

Aug 26, 2014 at 2:58 AM UTC

bharti-singh

Broke knows the value of everything!

When your grey is marooned Life seems like a goon Pliability is cached somewhere Boldness becomes a tough affair Brooding over roughs Becomes the way of life Seething over pain Is all you think is fine Strong mind becomes So fragile and meek Constant approval always Is then what you seek Yes, yes, you are B R O K E N from within But do you realize Only a broke knows Value of everything So unleash the pain In one go and just holler Remember, every holler Makes you stronger Once your anguish Is washed out in tears Your vision to foresee Future becomes clear Say cheers to life!

31

clarity ~ in sensing the fall~ when known, makes each spiral stop: You... are still here, you will get up.

0

Aug 25, 2014

Aug 25, 2014 at 1:09 PM UTC

linda-1

Grant yourself this...

clarity ~ in sensing the fall~ when known, makes each spiral stop: You... are still here, you will get up.

4

~ Somber waves flood charcoal skies This morn does fell my day Misty forms in shadowed dreams, an ominous display Chilled, the breeze now grips my face as moisture coats my skin Shivers at their highest reach call out to me again Willow branches bend in shame, sorrow feeds the ground Leaves in silhouette now trace confusion all around Clouds a’ gathered blackened roof A blanket at the sun Pointing towards a northern point Alas my world is done When there, along horizon’s stare I sense the faintest smile Of auburn charm and beauty share To linger here a while As ashen skies now seem to part This pain of longest dread Depression cast upon my heart Now heals in scars I shed To breathe again, this morning free A smile upon my face Consume this feeling calling me No more in fractured lace So long I’ve hidden in the past Awaiting only dying Yet now with this affection cast In new found truth I’m trying As now I stand neath skies of blue Bright sunshine up above Gazing at the sight of you Alas my world is love

0

Aug 23, 2014

Aug 23, 2014 at 7:57 AM UTC

jack-3

A gray and misty morning

~ Somber waves flood charcoal skies This morn does fell my day Misty forms in shadowed dreams, an ominous display Chilled, the breeze now grips my face as moisture coats my skin Shivers at their highest reach call out to me again Willow branches bend in shame, sorrow feeds the ground Leaves in silhouette now trace confusion all around Clouds a’ gathered blackened roof A blanket at the sun Pointing towards a northern point Alas my world is done When there, along horizon’s stare I sense the faintest smile Of auburn charm and beauty share To linger here a while As ashen skies now seem to part This pain of longest dread Depression cast upon my heart Now heals in scars I shed To breathe again, this morning free A smile upon my face Consume this feeling calling me No more in fractured lace So long I’ve hidden in the past Awaiting only dying Yet now with this affection cast In new found truth I’m trying As now I stand neath skies of blue Bright sunshine up above Gazing at the sight of you Alas my world is love

37

some days some days i wake up feeling warm and lovely and happy feeling whole and right in who i am and what i appear to be some days i go to bed barely holding my eyes open against the weight of dreams barely staying in reality a moment longer some days i want to create a dream of imagines on paper and spill the ink of my mind out onto the world, eagerly showing the creations of my mind and what excites me as far as what i can imagine and bring out of the ethereal into the only slightly more tangible inner chambers of my mind palace other days i want to destroy to tear, end to end, the world i have created in my mind and every piece of it i have brought into existence to shred myself to pieces to rid the universe of such and inadequate creature as myself who dares feel more comfortable as a fluid being, more free to explore and weave in and out of the norms set by society and then i fall, weak and hollow, to my knees, full of life and brightness that has been pressed to aside by the gaping holes of heaving singularities within my gut and soul and i feel dark and wrong and numb but then every so often i get a spark of light in the inky dark of me and it flutters close circling my form slowly and giving out the slightest bit of light and warmth sometimes this first Good Thought or Good Feeling will be crushed snatched from the air in the claws of a demonic and wild gargoyle but even so, one by one the light spots will gently blanket the gargoyles, forcing them to lie in wait once more for who can fight the gentle persistence of a butterfly

0

Aug 9, 2014

Aug 9, 2014 at 9:49 AM UTC

luckyqueue

some days

some days some days i wake up feeling warm and lovely and happy feeling whole and right in who i am and what i appear to be some days i go to bed barely holding my eyes open against the weight of dreams barely staying in reality a moment longer some days i want to create a dream of imagines on paper and spill the ink of my mind out onto the world, eagerly showing the creations of my mind and what excites me as far as what i can imagine and bring out of the ethereal into the only slightly more tangible inner chambers of my mind palace other days i want to destroy to tear, end to end, the world i have created in my mind and every piece of it i have brought into existence to shred myself to pieces to rid the universe of such and inadequate creature as myself who dares feel more comfortable as a fluid being, more free to explore and weave in and out of the norms set by society and then i fall, weak and hollow, to my knees, full of life and brightness that has been pressed to aside by the gaping holes of heaving singularities within my gut and soul and i feel dark and wrong and numb but then every so often i get a spark of light in the inky dark of me and it flutters close circling my form slowly and giving out the slightest bit of light and warmth sometimes this first Good Thought or Good Feeling will be crushed snatched from the air in the claws of a demonic and wild gargoyle but even so, one by one the light spots will gently blanket the gargoyles, forcing them to lie in wait once more for who can fight the gentle persistence of a butterfly

29

One pill was too little, Two was just enough. Three was to push the limit. Four was to prove it wasn't a bluff. Five was to be thin. Six was for the hell of it. Seven was to purge myself from within. Eight was for my hipbones to stick out like knives. Nine was to ensure that I might not wake up alive. Ten little pills, she held them in her hand Threw them all away, to let her spirit mend. Supported by her craftsmen, poets and good friends She realized, she's not alone She'll be strong once again.

0

Aug 19, 2014

Aug 19, 2014 at 2:58 PM UTC

aaashleylopez

Ten

One pill was too little, Two was just enough. Three was to push the limit. Four was to prove it wasn't a bluff. Five was to be thin. Six was for the hell of it. Seven was to purge myself from within. Eight was for my hipbones to stick out like knives. Nine was to ensure that I might not wake up alive. Ten little pills, she held them in her hand Threw them all away, to let her spirit mend. Supported by her craftsmen, poets and good friends She realized, she's not alone She'll be strong once again.

15