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I am tired, and I am tired of making it beautiful. Petals flung over the edge do not soften the fall. Adjectives do not halt decay. Spinning corpses in sugar is a sticky, pointless ordeal. If I let the moonlight paint me in all her violet shades they begin to look more like bruises. A single star, a gunshot wound. I think about how small I must look from all the way up there. I think about how I won’t live past twenty. It’s such a dramatic scene, a fanciful notion ripped from the history books by a girl who doesn't know how she’ll fit into them. There was one like her before, who dug her palms into the rails and stared out at her burning Versailles, and she wondered how it could be so cold when there was so much light. Another kisses her daughter and son’s shining cheeks goodnight, sits on the tiled floor of the kitchen with her head in the oven. There was the one who painted and broke, loved and broke, painted and loved and shattered and broke. The other flies all her life and goes down at Howland, sinks for its remainder. All of them, statues with shards of rose colored glass transfixed in their eyeball sockets. Maybe we were made to be romantic and lovely and tragic. Maybe we have no choice but to carry these diamonds and bleed from the backs of our ankles, streak the pavement rose red. Maybe we were destined to scar everything we touch, for what is beauty without pain? I’ll paint my nails and bite them to the beds, I’ll **** boys who are cruel by design. I’ll spin endless corpses, spin relentless circles in this frigid corner of mine.
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Jan 10, 2022
Jan 10, 2022 at 2:22 PM UTC
You're Beautiful When You Cry
I am tired, and I am tired of making it beautiful. Petals flung over the edge do not soften the fall. Adjectives do not halt decay. Spinning corpses in sugar is a sticky, pointless ordeal. If I let the moonlight paint me in all her violet shades they begin to look more like bruises. A single star, a gunshot wound. I think about how small I must look from all the way up there. I think about how I won’t live past twenty. It’s such a dramatic scene, a fanciful notion ripped from the history books by a girl who doesn't know how she’ll fit into them. There was one like her before, who dug her palms into the rails and stared out at her burning Versailles, and she wondered how it could be so cold when there was so much light. Another kisses her daughter and son’s shining cheeks goodnight, sits on the tiled floor of the kitchen with her head in the oven. There was the one who painted and broke, loved and broke, painted and loved and shattered and broke. The other flies all her life and goes down at Howland, sinks for its remainder. All of them, statues with shards of rose colored glass transfixed in their eyeball sockets. Maybe we were made to be romantic and lovely and tragic. Maybe we have no choice but to carry these diamonds and bleed from the backs of our ankles, streak the pavement rose red. Maybe we were destined to scar everything we touch, for what is beauty without pain? I’ll paint my nails and bite them to the beds, I’ll **** boys who are cruel by design. I’ll spin endless corpses, spin relentless circles in this frigid corner of mine.
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I. The False Mirror that's how it starts dull and creeping. shadows in the back of your mind. reassuring you that the smoke from their furious fire is only temporary. "Look away lest the Light claim your eyes!". the thing with shadows is the more you look away the further in they close. as flames roar the only sound you hear is a soothing song of dominion. until your world is a vision of black alabaster where you can't tell the difference between shadow and caster. II. Portrait of An Owner we take the medicine that consumes us. leaks through the cracks in our spine. dripping we make moves in the dark. tripping over useless pieces of used-to-be heart. they say the road less travelled doesn't go our way. they say many have been led astray. so we wait in fear. with bated breath for the next hit to keep us in place. III. a bête noire we were promised planes but given straw wings tethered to the shore. they remind us we can fly but not to aim too high or stray too close to the light. that we might see what Icarus seen. living isn't being without a doubt he would tell us he didn't fly high enough. so, for the spectacle we'll gladly burn alive. belonging to none severing ties. that's how endings begin bright and sprawling.
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Apr 5, 2020
Apr 5, 2020 at 9:05 AM UTC
Fear: A Collection
there on the scaffold colorful cacophonous screams emanating from workman’s coveralls captivated her rebel in real life engaged by her lack of hero worship dedication to her art the common cause her fire drew him to her and so they began to weave their tapestry it tells a story tumultuous traveled torn tragic timeless true brilliant hues life as art compatriots rebels lovers newsreels public pride personal degradation recovery reconciliation back on the scaffold cacophony revisited back on bedrest resilient resisting unceasing unaccepting scaffold and ego deemed titanic-like demand artistic license uncompromising crushed crumble disintegrate lose face credibility turn tale and run to the one deemed feeble whose spirit knows no bonds as body knows no freedom yet is Hercules for them both until the day her plaits were drawn crisscross on her forehead decorated with huge glorious blossoms plucked from the patio lips kissed last breath a pair destined for the history books a love rollercoasterlargerthanlife FateD? Frida & Diego: FateD? © 2017 rochelle foles
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Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 11:07 PM UTC
Fate D?
O fragrant wind float a flower from Frida's hair into my heart's crown.
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May 1, 2016
May 1, 2016 at 1:12 PM UTC
frida
Your soul was always isolated from the world around you—from the very beginning. Time alone was something you valued (as should we all) but your isolation took on many forms—many hungry shadows looming over you at all times. A collision of iron and steel left you immobile, and by the standards expected of women, useless: your womb would never swell, and you would never experience the pain of bringing a child into this cruel world. The fractures and the wounds healed, but you never recovered. In the face of impossibility, you still tried in desperation; leaving you in cold unfamiliar hospital rooms, where all you can see is an alien landscape; where all you can think about is the reasons you are here, and the reasons your baby will never be. It is a pain in your heart that leaves you gutted like the iron handrail that embedded itself through your ****** The bed is soaked with your tears and your blood; it is the pain of knowing that you will never hold a baby who sees you as God; you will never experience the love of a child, glowing with innocence.
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Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 10:58 PM UTC
Frida in The Henry Ford Hospital
I dreamed of Frida Kahlo "yo era ella amante" pure, paupered prince to her primal queen yet still I hollowed a carnal niche into the midst of one perdurable, lurid " noche de los muertos" and fingered the lachrymose from her lacerations counting prurient time in a piercing nine of perennial persecution before I wore her pelt to lay me down in her sanguinary glow
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Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 6:54 AM UTC
Little Deer
1. Her thick brow, Is only her choice. A stance against norms. 2. Ribbons and flowers, All tangled in her hair. A decorative crown, But beauty is not defined here. 3. She had many lovers, Of many kinds. But promiscuity, Does not define worth. 4. Drink more than the men. To dance with a love, They can never have. 5. Politics are unimportant, Only the ideas in your mind. Of equality and charity, But it will leave somebody dead. 6. Be bold and smart. Follow your own direction, Maybe dress like a man 7. When a trolley crashes, Leaving you wishing for death, Draw on your bandage. Don’t let your broken column Break your strength. 8. Don’t fall in love with artists, They drink too much, Cheat too much. And will break your heart 9. Fall in love with artists, A musician, maybe a painter. You’ll never be bored, You’ll always be drunk. 10. Just don’t let them break you, Don’t stop painting because you’re hurt. Don’t give them the satisfaction, Of breaking your wings. 11. You don’t need anyone, When you have wigs to fly. Don’t need feet, Or anyone else. 12. You probably feel like a freak, Like the weirdest person you’ve ever known. But as long as you’re weird with me, You’ll never be weird alone. 13. Make friends with the past, With people you’ve never known. It’ll always be a source of security, No one can leave that’s already gone. I look at Frida through her paint, through her words, through the story of her life she has taught me not to be afraid.
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Jan 25, 2015
Jan 25, 2015 at 10:45 PM UTC
Thirteen ways to look at Frida
1. Her thick brow, Is only her choice. A stance against norms. 2. Ribbons and flowers, All tangled in her hair. A decorative crown, But beauty is not defined here. 3. She had many lovers, Of many kinds. But promiscuity, Does not define worth. 4. Drink more than the men. To dance with a love, They can never have. 5. Politics are unimportant, Only the ideas in your mind. Of equality and charity, But it will leave somebody dead. 6. Be bold and smart. Follow your own direction, Maybe dress like a man 7. When a trolley crashes, Leaving you wishing for death, Draw on your bandage. Don’t let your broken column Break your strength. 8. Don’t fall in love with artists, They drink too much, Cheat too much. And will break your heart 9. Fall in love with artists, A musician, maybe a painter. You’ll never be bored, You’ll always be drunk. 10. Just don’t let them break you, Don’t stop painting because you’re hurt. Don’t give them the satisfaction, Of breaking your wings. 11. You don’t need anyone, When you have wigs to fly. Don’t need feet, Or anyone else. 12. You probably feel like a freak, Like the weirdest person you’ve ever known. But as long as you’re weird with me, You’ll never be weird alone. 13. Make friends with the past, With people you’ve never known. It’ll always be a source of security, No one can leave that’s already gone. I look at Frida through her paint, through her words, through the story of her life she has taught me not to be afraid.
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