#joenymous
The thought of death, it pushes me harder
Because overworked bodies don't last longer
This equation backfired because now I'm stronger
Now I'll have to experience the pain for much longer.
Feb 9, 2019
Feb 9, 2019 at 9:12 AM UTC
I don't want to hear
What you have to say about me
I already know
How to think 'bout who I am
It leaves me so scared
Knowing you'd notice the bad things
I already know
That you're going to lose your calm
I never asked,
I never asked!
I never wanted to be born
The way we treat me,
It leaves me feeling forlorn
I never asked,
I never asked!
I never wanted the hurt
I guess this treatment's
Showing me how much I'm worth
Feb 9, 2019
Feb 9, 2019 at 9:07 AM UTC
"Go commit die"
That's what she said.
Guess that makes two of us
That wants me dead.
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 2:48 PM UTC
I saw them, I sw**r
Sometimes they were in line,
Sometimes scattered everywhere
I saw them around me
They were on the ground
Leave them alone and
They'll never make a sound
Touch them the wrong way
And if they’re close, they’ll crumble
In their downfall
In the end, they'll always lose their humble
I can’t see the difference
Is it just me or they are all the same
They’re just clones of each other
I can feel their pain
I couldn’t tell them apart
Without my fingertips
They’re all duplicates
A species of a looped never-ending clips
What if
I am just as bare,
Another domino
I can’t recognise my own reflection
So I guess I’ll never know.
Feb 1, 2019
Feb 1, 2019 at 6:39 AM UTC
I never knew,
I saw her cry:
I felt her tears;
Pain liquified.
It isn’t real,
It’s all a lie!
A fantasy
Of crystal skies!
It’s all a dream
Of crystal skies!
Conspiracy:
She never died!
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 11:03 PM UTC
I am a very LOVING person.
Any and everyone I see,
Even before I ever know you,
I love you to the ends of the world,
But.If.You.Dare.Try.To.Abuse.My.Love,
I'll love you to the end of your life.
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 11:42 PM UTC
I’m hiding the hurt,
I’m hiding the pain.
I’m hiding the tears,
Although they flow like rain.
I’m hiding the fear-
Just let me brood;
I can’t tell you the secrets trapped inside my skull,
Don’t call me rude.
Let me
Protect you.
I’ll tear myself apart
To put you together
I’ll make it worse for me
To make you feel better
It’s all about you
Don’t focus on worthless things like me
These aren’t the colours I should see
Get it right:
You’re priority.
In layers I hide
Behind my mask
Maybe there’s a monster?
To remove it
Should you I dare ask?
I’d loved you while you lasted
I’ll love you through your plastic
I’ll love you when you’re finite
I’ll love you as fantastic
I know it’s not the best
I know it’s not that healthy
In this case especially
Because it is killing me!
But how can I tell you?
How can I deliberately disappoint?
How can I **** all dreams you have for me?
How to tell I need oil in my joints?
Jan 19, 2019
Jan 19, 2019 at 8:11 AM UTC
They keep laughing at me
Their noise flow forth from the DEPTHs of their throats
On their thrones they point their fingers
I see their diaphragms trembling in glee
hAHaha
So what if you don't like the real me?
hAHaha
I don't CARE
hAHaha
These aren' the colours I should see
...
They're not there.
I see the colours, the pictures
The words never come
Jan 14, 2019
Jan 14, 2019 at 3:25 AM UTC
I don't want to be the chains
I just want to make and see a change
With whatever good judement's left
As priorities rearrange.
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 6:58 AM UTC
I feed my habits
And ignore my needs
As distasteful as it seems
My plan succeeds
I plant the seeds
That grow the weeds
Won't feed myself
I starve, deceased.
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 6:45 AM UTC
She stares
With a bagpack and a ribbon in her hair
I care
But the words have never left my tongue
I'm concerned she's scared
Of how I treat myself
It makes me fear
What she will do
It was only the tip of the iceburg
What if she only knew?
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 6:42 AM UTC
I am no artist
But I do paint with words
I am not insane
But I hear things unheard
I'm no storyteller
But great tales I can weave
I'n not a comforter
But you can always cry on my sleeve
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 6:31 AM UTC
Please stand by, we're having some technical difficulties
We are dealing with the static disturbance
The colourbars are staring right back at me
What a horrible turn of events
Maybe it's time to cut the act
Everything is ruined in moments
I always infect and ruin everything
No matter the type of event
What if I do them a final favour
And just **** myself?
Let me
Put them out of their misery
My problematic existence has always been a waste
I can never get anything right
This worthless circus monster should be rid of with haste
I can't even do that right
Let me
Put you out of your misery
And end it all
It shouldn't be hard to build you up
By having an eternal fall
I'm sorry, it's my fault
I should cut off my tongue
My skull should be bashed in
My neck should be rung
Let me
Put you out of your misery
Can't tell you I'm falling apart
I am worthless, my opinion doesn't matter
Just hurry up and put a knife through my heart
Thinking of all their time that's been wasted because of me
It's a shame their efforts are for naught
Considering that I'll never amount to anything good enough
I was woth it, back then I thought
Jan 10, 2019
Jan 10, 2019 at 6:35 PM UTC
"Why don't you just use a filter?"
Because I don't like being fake
"Come one, it'll make you look better!"
All the unnecasary effort for unknown people's sake?
Jan 6, 2019
Jan 6, 2019 at 5:19 PM UTC
Sometimes they're many
Sometimes they're few
Unpractically pretty
But they will do
Flowers in my garden
The only things certain
The only faces I know
Who'd remain true as they grow
They may blossom like my growing fear
The may wither like my sanity
They are stifled by the thorns
Like the skin I'm in, well-worn
They are suppressed by the weeds
Like the guilt in me
Flowers in my garden
I am quite certain
We're the same
But I'm embodied in flesh
Flowers in my garden
I beg your pardon?
What do you mean that you don't exist?
If you leave, what'll happen to me?
Jan 6, 2019
Jan 6, 2019 at 5:02 PM UTC
I’ll help you find you way;
Live to see brighter days,
When you’re feeling imprisoned,
I’m the key to your cage.
When you’re lost I will find you,
In fogs I’ll always shine through.
When you’ve lost, it’s a gain;
I’ll protect you from pain.
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 12:54 PM UTC
The unending suppression
Leaves no words to be said.
The hurt that goes unmentioned
Keeps replaying in my head!
Your gusty winds of teaching,
Your too-damn persuasive legions
Warm even my deepest regions,
And kills me all the while...
Your fingers at the sides of my mouth,
Telling me to smile.
You're the doctor giving bad medicines to make me come back.
You groom me well, teach me to entice the pains, no matter how vile.
You make the walls of my heart go compact.
Dec 11, 2018
Dec 11, 2018 at 9:53 AM UTC
I wear my masks to make it better
I anxiously wait as I see the three grey dots dance on my screen
I don't see the point in painting merry smiles to hide the truth
I wear the skin that makes me scream
I’m sorry that things have changed
We aren’t the human I used to know
My mind and my heart have had their exchange
And the fears that have been caught up with at last begin to show
Lying has never felt so fulfilling
I’m about to fall apart again
Monsters shouldn’t exist, now could be their time of killing
But the shadows in the corner of my mind won’t let me rest
I cut the meat and stuff the flesh
To feed the bottomless stomachs of finites
The damage done lives in my veins
It only gets worse, we can’t hope for the best
On the edge-ridden surfaces
I throw myself and is comforted by talking meat
The nation reaches its loving arms out to inflict me
But non-existent persons shouldn’t be acknowledged.
I’ll never be real enough for the talking flesh.
Dec 8, 2018
Dec 8, 2018 at 8:07 PM UTC
I find peace in the silence,
But a silent world can be maddening.
Noise drives me to my ends,
It corrupts all my happennings,
But if peace is therefore maddening,
And it's the same for noise,
One way or another I'll lose my mind
Without being given a choice.
Nov 29, 2018
Nov 29, 2018 at 11:59 PM UTC
If this is what defines me
I
prefer
to
remain
without
definition.
Nov 9, 2018
Nov 9, 2018 at 2:39 AM UTC
What is a beautiful life
Without a beautiful death?
What are beautiful memories
When all we do is forget?
What's a beautiful rest
Without a beautiful wake?
What's so beautiful about giving
For all you do is take.
Nov 5, 2018
Nov 5, 2018 at 1:09 AM UTC
Staring at the static scream
Of the big black box
And silently scream;
Trapped in this paradox
Because silents screams
Aren't heard, but seen
Repeating patterns erratic
I lose myself to static.
Oct 26, 2018
Oct 26, 2018 at 1:38 PM UTC
Actions speak louder than words
You r actions are very loud
I let you in enough
Time that I shut you out.
This is the new old me,
Semi-insanity
Is my unsoundness a sin?
Once again, your actions, in verbatim.
Aggravated,
I am losing my patience.
Whole teenage years I've been waiting;
I can't help but feel forsaken.
Am I made to be broken,
Are these the things I deserve?
I'm afraid, now that I've spoken
You'll use them against me, my words.
Sep 12, 2018
Sep 12, 2018 at 1:59 AM UTC
My true face hidden by these plastic identities
When they're removed, you shun me
It's a battle I'm always losing,
So I come to the conclusion
"I'm not allowed to cry!"
At least publicly,
You say you never ever want to hear a whimper out of me.
So in the dark in my tears I lie
But when the sun comes up, I got to dry my eyes.
Aug 16, 2018
Aug 16, 2018 at 2:01 PM UTC
I got butterflies as my food
You make me feel so ****
Butterflies' a crazy meal
Now my belly got the feels
You make me die
And make me real
Take me up high
Swim in seas
I wanna go
Where the butterflies aren't
Wish you were not
So freakin' arrogant
I'll try to make it snow
Just to
Keep the butterflies away
Cause when I'm with you
In my belly
The butterflies play
Jul 4, 2018
Jul 4, 2018 at 5:38 PM UTC