#itiswhatitis
constantly changes
Who I am
relevant to
plus or minus
Who is added
to my world
Who leaves
by choice
or fate
a simple math
that equals
all the days
of my life
#itiswhatitis
Jan 8
Jan 8, 2026 at 3:41 PM UTC
ALL that WAS
IS
And yet TO BE
For I AM
Experiencing
BEING
In every Moment.
DLR
13.11.2025
☼ ♡ ƸӜƷ ❀ ♬
Nov 12, 2025
Nov 12, 2025 at 7:10 PM UTC
Heart breaks, stomach aches
Throwing stones, breaking bones
Living life, free of strife
Moment makers, deal breakers
Starving lately, give it to me straightly
Life uprooted, final resort executed
No one around, no more frowns
Happy world, softly curled
The end of being, the start of meaning
Feb 3, 2025
Feb 3, 2025 at 10:26 PM UTC
Monochrome strings, fizzled out currents,
Dull thumps, dead thumps, redrum me,
The theatre of my undoing and my banes,
The graveyard of unburied, broken dreams;
The heart was made to feel and Lord, I felt,
The vacuity of a thousand dead suns,
The gravity of a tempered yellow star,
What grows the more you take away?
The grief of the fireflies, burned without the fade,
The oddity of a moonflower for one glorious dusk,
None of this makes sense and neither do I,
Lost in the plot, lost a lot, take out the glock;
The revenants of my wounds have resurfaced,
I slip across it's horizon, overcome by it's strength,
Just me and Lana tonight, let the wildflower burn,
Tomorrow's dusk, I'll still be here.
May 21, 2024
May 21, 2024 at 4:21 PM UTC
maybe you feel about it…
…the way i feel about it
realizing that
we really dont feel
anything . . .
. . . at all
and so
we
elude
our
feelings . .
. . . to chase the truth
only to realize that
we’ve been standing in it
all along . . .
© Mahogany Ree
5-14-19
May 29, 2020
May 29, 2020 at 8:35 PM UTC
all the while I will love you because I’ve never been good at stringing the little locket heart into my chest. It’s always just dangled in my hand clumsily. People always tell me “kid you gotta hide that. Don’t you know where you are.”and i want to laugh. And say “ I’m in the jungle baby”, proceed to sing the rest of that song, and not let them get me down. Cause **** the ********
It is what it is, the sadness, but with it
also the love
so,
why suffer.
little locket in hand and the nearness of the you, jazz standards floating through my head,
are enough.
It is what it is.
I’m in Love with you. Thousands of Motown songs and R&B 2019 top charting singles running, forming hills in my mind
mounting
so ever slowly, but continuously that everytime I walk past one of those hills, I fail to recognize it.
They’re becoming mountains
They are what they are,
as this is what it is.
Apr 22, 2019
Apr 22, 2019 at 12:23 PM UTC
sometimes I don’t want
to look for silver linings
or talk about timing
how things work out
as they should
sometimes I want to simply
sit down with
rejection
look it in the eye
acknowledge why it’s there
without assigning it
some universal meaning
I want to tell it, I wanted that so badly
without hearing reasons
why it couldn’t be
it is what it is
it isn’t what it never was
and I
am disappointed
Sep 19, 2018
Sep 19, 2018 at 4:11 PM UTC
You said "I don't know if you think you're just a burden to me or what"
The answer there is yes, that's exactly what I fear
I've been made to feel a burden since the day I was born
But at times I feel like I'm worth so much more
That I'm not just a burden
But maybe someone to be loved, maybe even cherished
But then I think, maybe I'm really nothing at all
Maybe the universe saw I wasn't fit
Maybe in life, I deserved all of it
You have a hard time showing any feelings
In that void you leave me in, sometimes it sends my thoughts reeling
Everything gets tumbled, my words become jumbled
My actions become erratic, so not humble
It's because I fear the worst, that's exactly what I am
A Burden
©Pauline Russell
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 7:43 AM UTC
Its hopeless to dream.
I find everyday that passes...
That statement bares more truth than dreaming about hopeless fantasies.
Maybe I grew up?
One could only gather.
Maybe I stopped giving a ****
One could only ponder.
Or maybe it was the ice berg of truth that pierced through me...
Ripping my seams of dreams and love and my very naive fantasies to pieces.
One could only imagine.
Or maybe it was when..
You woke up one day...
And realized..
No one will ever love you as much as you love them.
People rarely if ever change...
Some people can't see their path of destruction... It will always be your fault...
They can never genuinely admit their wrong.
And they'll never come back
And lastly..
You accept..
Love is the scariest thing in this world and some people aren't capable of loving you as much as you love them or deserve.. No matter how much of yourself you were willing to give...
And that's just the way it is.
Dec 9, 2017
Dec 9, 2017 at 1:46 AM UTC
What you give me is what I receive,
The feelings overloading and essentially controlling me are forcing the inner version of myself to ignore thee,
Block off anyone who interferes with my life in the smallest of ways.
Stress is enough,
I can no longer think straight.
Consistently titling to both ends of our path,
I thought the starting would lead us somewhere beyond the fan stays of great,
But I was kicked and left in the dust with the others,
The prophecy unveiled itself,
I was right since the beginning, but my witless gut remained oblivious to my emotionally unstable self and instead stayed behind with the real you.
I grew attached to you, thinking everything for once would finally accumulate into one enjoyable entirety,
But you shattered me both internally and externally,
Now all I can focus on is how to fix these pieces back together.
Before I loose touch upon myself once more,
I ask anyone for forgiveness, begging on my knees for all to please.
I wish to give the little portion of my purity and happiness to you, now, am I considered the wrong and careless one?
Or are you, the heartless form of me?
Nov 11, 2017
Nov 11, 2017 at 3:06 PM UTC
My head feels like it's constantly on a marathon trying to get to first place, trying to make sense of what's left tangible, the tiniest bit perceivable. I like to try to murmur to my right ear the sweet nothings in which I never even believe-no matter the extent I've dug deep because everything there is in this fragile chest of mine are hundreds of wailing ghosts I have no capability of releasing.
And, I hate it.
Oct 25, 2017
Oct 25, 2017 at 4:52 PM UTC
I still remember everything
Those times where we would eat out with my mother
Giving me money when we meet
Those were the fun times
Few years later
I heard you had cancer
The rarest of them all
And the kind that can't be cured
It sunk my heart like the Titanic
I was just lost for a second
And I was in deep thought
That would you still live with me and my mother
I prayed to God everyday
To keep you here on this planet
I prayed so hard
That I want you to stay
It's been 9 years that you fought it
Been praying to God day in and day out
To keep you alive
9 years
I got a phone call from a relative
I asked if she's out of her hospital bed cured
He said that she's gone
And my heart exploded like the World Trade Center at 9/11
Few months later
I saw you in a casket
Brought a couple of my friends to know who you were
And they already know
I knew that it would be the last time seeing you
Which was the hardest part
I got comfort from my friends
Especially God
Seeing you being buried was the part where I tried to hide my tears
But I didn't cause it's your time to be with the Lord
I was the one who cried the most
And it was hard leaving you
Then I realized that life goes on
No matter how much I wanted you to stay
I'll see you again in Heaven
Rest in peace, Virginia
Sep 19, 2016
Sep 19, 2016 at 8:00 PM UTC
The first man I trusted
was one who didn’t need anything from me
He’d help me or my ma cross the street
even if he’d never see another dime or dream come true
There was a time I didn’t think like that
because the air I was breathing had already been sold
I could only hear the sounds of an angry man’s hammer
but that story has already been told
I saw him changing someone’s tire
It was hot and ***** but that was how he lived
Being able to help someone with a home
is a day off for a man with a sign
Being able to hear someone say thank you
is love inside his mother’s letter
He knows what you’re thinking
he’ll take the blame if it makes you feel better
I saw someone spill his guts
but he was wearing a mask on his face
It’s not like he didn’t believe
It’s just that we didn’t understand
So it was time to wake up in a new bed
and pretend he was better off alone
Maybe we’d better leave him be
There’s too many questions and not enough homes
I never thought I’d live this long
with eyes knowing how it’s going to end
That’s nothing new it’s just a matter of time, but
you know the price of your coffin by what’s important to you
There’s nothing I like about chance
I’d rather be broke than watch another man’s hand
I knew a girl once who disagreed
She had a pretty face, I had a bottle full of sand
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 10:46 AM UTC
I read letters you never wrote
folded and unfolded
hidden in the empty space
of your leaving coat
I take a drag of my last cigarette
and take a sip from our glass
of old regrets
I listen to sad songs
that mean nothing
and pray for the peace
I know should come
but nothing seems to bring
I unpack empty suitcases
filled with all the things
your leaving told I lacked
I sleep with ghosts
your monsters
my regrets
and our memories
but what we really need
is just to let it be
I wish I could say
you could hold on
to the old promises
but the truth is simply this
this nothing
that resides
where your lies used to hide
this is all that remains
of what used to sustain
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 2, 2015 at 4:23 PM UTC
You won't be
Forgiven
For the lies
Your fingertips
Left
Nov 29, 2015
Nov 29, 2015 at 3:13 PM UTC
And sitting crossed legged here
in the middle of the sideline
in the aftermath
of the war keeps me still
this silent fight
being fought on opposite ends
of the battle lines
wears me to the core
leaves me defeated
weather worn and sore
our casualties worse for wear
while we dance around what was
this pressure cooker silence
needs to linger a little longer
the silence is deafening, defeating
it is making me strong.
Your white flag changes
Everything
Nothing
Nov 15, 2015
Nov 15, 2015 at 3:26 PM UTC
you grow up,
(Hopefully.)
just like your mother
you want to be.
A beautiful woman
some day,
you sit
wish
and play,
with makeup
jewelry
and all these things
Never aware,
as a child,
what these things
might bring.
You just want to smile
living in your dream.
of being a model
or fashionable icon
never thinking of
the ways these things
one day
will make you scream.
the men that want
to hold you, just
because you are
a thing.
so pretty
so "perfect"
What is this world worth
when we can't even let our souls sing?
For fear that
we are stalked
and murdered-
or God forbid
worse.
How do you teach a child
to cultivate dreams,
while worrying they'll
end up in a hearse?
Oct 10, 2014
Oct 10, 2014 at 4:30 PM UTC
A wild child, a free spirit
Her laughter is contagious
Once you hear it
The happiest girl you'll ever meet
But watch out, she only wears socks, so don't step on her feet!!!
She lives life on the edge
To live it up is her pledge
She's so vivacious
& some may think she lives much too dangerous
People's opinions don't affect her days
She continues to live her carefree ways
Although she seems to be vanishing from our sight
Something just isn't right
Her frame is gauntly & frail
Less then 100lbs now on her scale
Don't you dare ask her if she's sick
Or mention her arms being thin like a stick
She'll deny anything & say she's fine
Even though in the bathroom, a few minutes ago, she did a line
She still seems the same
Rumor is, drugs are to blame
But what is strange
Nothing is different except her weight change
So the truth really is unclear
But they'll always think the worst fear
No matter what is fake or true
People will always have an opinion about you
So continue doing whatever it is you like
All those haters can go take a hike
Looks can be deceiving
& the wrong message people can be receiving
Just keep your head held high so you wont fall flat
Because it is what it is & that is that!!
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 4:37 PM UTC
A chance you blindly took
Without even giving it a second look
Left you slightly damaged & bruised
Feeling twisted & used
Words not said,& answers that only confused
Like a fool, your heart was played
Too many years you stayed
But as the memories begin to fade
You became more wise
Quick to spot deception & lies
There's nothing now, that comes to be a surprise
There's just something's you can't deny
No matter how hard you try
You simply can't save everyone
Sometimes you just have to let go, walk away & be done...
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 3:09 PM UTC