#istayed
When the nights were loud
and the house felt hollow,
I almost disappeared
into old patterns,
old promises,
old pain.
I almost believed
I was still that girl
waiting at the window
for someone to come home
and choose me.
But this time —
I stayed.
When the memories rose
like smoke in my lungs,
when my hands shook
with the weight of everything
no one saw —
I stayed.
Not perfectly.
Not bravely.
But deliberately.
I sat with the ache
instead of running from it.
I let the tears fall
without calling myself weak.
I spoke gently
to the child inside me
who still flinches at silence.
And I said,
“I’m here.
I’m not going anywhere.”
There were days
I wanted to fold —
to shrink,
to hand my healing
back to the people
who dropped it.
But I didn’t.
I stayed.
Because leaving myself
was the one habit
I refuse to keep.
And slowly —
quietly —
the ground stopped shaking.
Not because the past vanished.
Not because the hurt erased itself.
But because I chose
to stand.
To stay.
To become
the safety I searched for
in everyone else.
And that’s the part they don’t see —
how powerful it is
to remain
with yourself.
Feb 20
Feb 20, 2026 at 6:11 PM UTC
serendipity
i've dipped in and out
the mountains i thought i moved took back their strength
and in the taking,
cracked open the ground
leaving me off-balance than before
yes, i should've fought back but
serendipity
i stay dipping in and out
there's no such thing as control
no such thing as handled
a loose grip
had me falling through the cracks
and as i fell onto hard times
the darkness welcomed me
so i stayed
. . .
Nov 14, 2018
Nov 14, 2018 at 5:52 PM UTC