#ish
I have shadows where my eyes once were,
for years I have spent clawing at them
scratching the blood from my corneas
and draining the tear drops from my duct
slowly depleting myself from sight
because I am tired of looking at the mirror
and despising the broken emptiness.
Thus, I see no evil because everything is dark.
Sep 4, 2020
Sep 4, 2020 at 3:18 PM UTC
I would die.
We are so scary in love that if one of us were to
kick the can
the other one would follow.
An almost suicide pact.
If she was taken from me I don't know.
I would probably seek out our moms.
If my girl was taken from me I probably would not see the point of living,
YES. I fell in love again.
I told you it's happened twice.
But this time she loves me too and she cares about me, and I care about her.
She aint **** and my new mami is the one for me.
Feb 21, 2019
Feb 21, 2019 at 10:54 PM UTC
Can I touch eternity yet?
Am I yet allowed to be disavowed
Of such a false notion
As putting things in motion
Hey God,
It's your favorite fraud
Yearning for rebirth;
For what it's worth:
I never meant to mislead
Perhaps this prison is a karmic deed,
Or flawed practice bringing broken creed,
And a twisted trace of place.
Will I be free when sensate burning consumes me?
Is there luminosity in insanity?
Or perhaps I'm an example from the masters to we wayward ********
Of what we shouldn't do
Or perhaps this is too much mind noise too.
But if there's some greater sense
A compassionate intelligence
Please alleviate this burning pain
Please let rain be just rain.
Feb 20, 2019
Feb 20, 2019 at 5:30 AM UTC
“I can't breathe.
I'm suffocating.
I feel sad, maybe.
But I don't care, yeah I don't care.
I'm still moving with the flow,
I'll just have to get myself in check, with reality.
I need to find another way to feel sane.
Yeah, I need to find another way to feel something else but bleak.
I can't breathe.
I'm drowning with these sick thoughts.
Maybe I'm insane, I can't help it.
Oh, why do I have to feel this way.
Can't I just feel stable for once, sane for once, or anything but sad for once.
Can't I
Just feel
Something else
For once.”
Dec 27, 2018
Dec 27, 2018 at 1:08 AM UTC
He awoke on frozen concrete,
The broken glass.
Locked door, let the house run down around us,
At least we’re safe, right?
We had Time on our hands, we always said we’d go Someplace,
said our youth was a tragedy.
We’re our own worst enemies, silent screaming, kicking ourselves out the door, glass limbs.
Your hands fumbling over the catch of the lock, unmending the hinges.
The last glass we owned skidded off the other side of the table,
Throwing itself, disembodied and disfiguring
onto the floor.
We were empty in that last glass,
Cold eyes at means to an end.
Staring at the broken glass, wishing
To his sleeping form
It would glue itself back
Together
Together,
It would glue itself back
To his sleeping form.
Staring at the broken glass, wishing,
Cold eyes at means to an end.
We were empty in that last glass,
onto the floor,
Throwing itself- disembodied and disfiguring-
The last glass we owned skidded off the other side of the table,
Your hands fumbling over the lock, unmending the hinges.
Glass limbs.
We’re our own worst enemies, silent... screaming, kicking ourselves out the door,
Said our youth was a tragedy,
We had Time on our hands, we always said we’d go Someplace,
At least we’re safe... right?
Locked door, let the house run down around us...
The broken glass.
He awoke on frozen concrete.
Nov 24, 2018
Nov 24, 2018 at 7:17 PM UTC
I just had the most powerful thought I've ever had.
It hit me like a train
dropped like a ton of bricks on my head
knocked me over and took my breath away
It was hard to grasp
I don't have the capability
to wrap my head around it
and to be fully honest
I probably never will
but on the surface
for some reason
I know it could be true
I know I'm not ready to accept it
it's a lot of responsibility to have on my shoulders
the weight that comes from this thought
but I guess
maybe
maybe it could be honest
just kind of hard to believe
but I guess
maybe
there's a chance
people might
really
actually
kinda
like me?
Dec 2, 2017
Dec 2, 2017 at 12:53 PM UTC
We want to serve our country.
We want to stand up and fight.
We want to be recognized as the ones,
Who go all for what is right.
Pushed aside, Unwanted and Belittled,
The more rights we gain, more are torn down,
Every time we try and stand for ourselves,
We get told to put on our "pretty little gown."
Women. Seen as a dependent.
Someone who cannot handle the game,
cannot handle the war.
Forced to sit the bench of almost freedom.
We must pretend to be someone we aren't,
We are forced to stay behind,
Why can't be recognized,
like the others of mankind?
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 4:52 PM UTC
did anyone ever care about my flowers?
i never watered them
as they should have been
i drew them in gentle, attentive
detail and kissed every petal and leaf
i smelled their virtue until my arms
ached with the repose of memories and triggers
i never watered them as they should have been
for that would have required
slicing them.
Oct 21, 2016
Oct 21, 2016 at 9:59 PM UTC
Swirls are better than slashes,
and I can tell you why.
Swirls are better than slashes,
for they help you up to fly.
Swirls are better than slashes,
with ink instead of red.
Swirls are better than slashes,
but they do not help your head.
Oct 21, 2016
Oct 21, 2016 at 8:15 AM UTC
if you find yourself
attracted to the simple
swirls of black ink against
white lined school paper in
a locker you know belongs to
her, you know that you have severe
problems.
Oct 4, 2016
Oct 4, 2016 at 2:15 PM UTC
The sunday quiet eases my mind,
a welcome vacancy of thought spirals.
In the distance a soft tune plays,
music spins in and out of my space.
It fills my limbs from head to toe
spouting from my lips, my eyes, my-
my music spins me into a daze
and trance unlike a hypnotic phase.
The sun beams high from its sunday spot,
the clouds are fluffy, light, and white.
And as the music blooms to peak,
the lapping blue envelopes my cheeks.
I float in absence of the my weight,
absolute serenity claims a stay.
Its clear blue sheen brings peace to mind,
like I could drown here and still not die.
Its weightlessness drenches my hair,
yet when i shift into the air,
the weight is heavier so much there.
I intake life and fall to the floor,
the most abnormal experiences
are felt under this blue shore.
My body trembles as reality shakes,
my breathe is leaving,
to the surface or to a calmer place?
A disturbance by the door I hear,
gentle giggles of my sisters near,
I gasp for air as the bubbles explode,
This sunday warmth is toxic yet not loathed.
Jun 18, 2016
Jun 18, 2016 at 1:06 PM UTC
To drown is to feel more bleakly alive
Than the gold studded bees in a sapphire hive.
To choke is to breathe in the Northerner's wind
that exhumed itself from the smile he grinned.
To burn is to feel the passions he hides
that tear up his heart and corrupt his insides.
And to live is to feel like you're finally dead
Because life is not life, when it gets to your head.
May 16, 2016
May 16, 2016 at 8:28 AM UTC
Dizzy not silly
tears are forming
inhale - exhale
feelings swarming.
Maybe it'll rain
wash away this pain
inhale - exhale
today.
Drowning
you're not
around me
inhale - exhale
just surround me.
No apathy
lines are discrete
inhale - exhale
inside empty sheets.
Feelings ricochet
please don't
go away
inhale - exhale
nothing remains.
Oct 26, 2015
Oct 26, 2015 at 3:46 AM UTC
He looks like the kind of guy
I want to take me
steal me into the night
and let nobody save me
It feels like the kind of night
with my hands tied above my head
dazed with stars in my eyes
lips on mine like flesh full of lead
He's probably the kind of guy
to bump straight into me on the train
takes a week to agree to staying the night
not very selfish and not that vain
It's probably the kind of night
When its going great in my head
but we say our goodbyes
and go straight home to bed.
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 10:19 PM UTC
One day in my life-
I had a very beautiful reverie
We were walking along the shore
No one was there, just you and me
One day in my life-
I had a real and glorious smile
You were smiling back at me
While I was walking through the aisle
One day in my life-
I had the best morning ever
Together we watched the sunrise
And we dreamed our dreams of forever
One day in my life-
Just another day of dreaming
For now I am watching the sky
While hoping, wishing, and praying...
Dec 25, 2014
Dec 25, 2014 at 8:27 AM UTC
mime,give me flowers in the dark
paint me a picture of gods
make me someone holy
when im dead i hope you cauterize the hole in your chest
sorry about the mess we left,sorry about the apple tree,sorry about the taste in your mouth
i hope its not too bitter for you
is this the part where i apologize for ripped sheets on a bed that never belonged to me in the first place?
sorry,sweetheart,sorry that i wasnt the right narcissistic ***** for you
is this the part where you mutilate a french love song?i hope it all works out for you
i hope you find an ax buried in the coffin underneath the apple tree
i hope you use it to demolish my house,i hope you find my corpse
and i hope you cauterize the hole in your chest
Oct 16, 2014
Oct 16, 2014 at 5:53 PM UTC
my hands are red and there's a knife between my teeth
holding my jaw in place because
i never learned how to swim.
i'm god, i'm immortal
all-consuming
and you laugh while you eat me alive
there's red on your hands and a knife between my teeth
i watch as you pull them out one by one
swallow them like pills
you taste like barbed wire fences, like eyelashes cutting my tongue
they’re kind of like knives
i leave clawmarks on everyone, there is blood everywhere
everything about you is tangible
and i think i’m the antichrist,im unholy and you’re a bible verse
you taught me how to evolve
there’s a drumbeat in my lungs and it’s all i have
i’m in control, i promise,
this is my game
havent you figured it out yet?havent you solved the puzzle?
sorry, sweetheart, i meant to tell you ages ago but--
they named a constellation after my fingers
after the way they closed around your throat
i will be buried alive and i will enjoy it
six feet deep,
what’s a coffin among friends, and
i never loved you, i guess, and
rip me apart
you’re enough funeral for the both of us
and you ask me with blood on your teeth if you're scaring me yet
who's the monster now,
like this is a game, and
i'm ******* immortal, and
rip me apart
Oct 2, 2014
Oct 2, 2014 at 5:18 PM UTC
Man of my dreams
Please give me the 'push'
A shove enough to take me off procrastination cliff
Man of my dreams
Please give me that motivation
To keep up with my studies like you did
All so I could chase after you
At whatever university you'll be studying in
May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 11:08 AM UTC