#invisiblechild
How are you not to be damaged,
When the one that you think is supposed to love,
Doesn't really love you.
I mean it feels like there is supposed to be some sort of unwritten rule somewhere
That states if you have a a kid you must love them.
I'm not just talking about muttering those three little words.
That can be scribbled on paper, or typed in an email.
I'm talking about a deep rooted, carved in your heart, can be felt from across the world, no mistaking, pure and sacrificial love.
Tangible love, seen, and felt, and heard.
No I don't need money from you.
I would prefer to feel like I'm worth knowing
Rather than the feeling of my forgiveness being bought.
See how am I supposed to feel that others in life will like me,
If my own parent doesn't care to even know me.
Yes the world is a wonderful place and I understand the feeling of being caged.
So wouldn't it have been better in the beginning if you had never even made the effort?
So that when you decided that the world was worth more
and that I was just an anchor to a place you didn't care for.
Wouldn't it have been easier for me,
Instead of feeling like I was a piece of trash tossed over your shoulder missing the waste basket because you didn't even care to look as you threw it.
Not even put in a rightful place, left to wonder is it something I did wrong?
Only to grow up and find out it was much worse
it wasn't anything I did, it is the simple fact that I wasn't enough.
Wasn't enough for you, to much work to wipe off my ***** face.
Wasn't enough for you to pick up and kiss the ****** knee that I scrapped.
Wasn't enough for you to watch me as I grew, to give me advice on making life's toughest decisions.
Wasn't enough for you to see that although it was good for you to escape the cage from which you felt confined to,
you didn't realize that I had followed you in, and on your way out without so much as a backwards glance, you locked me in.
Maybe I got it wrong.
Maybe there shouldn't be some unwritten rule that makes you love your children.
Because there shouldn't be anything that makes you love.
Maybe I just need to realize that some people are loved and others just aren't.
Some people are capable of loving.
Some are only capable of hurting those who have a twisted look on life
Thinking that by just being someone's own flesh and blood qualifies to being loved.
Only to be taught the truth.
It doesn't.
Sep 30, 2012
Sep 30, 2012 at 2:09 PM UTC
I had brothers and not a single one ever protected me.
Instead I was belittled in ways that to this day affect me.
I was introduced to the cruel world at my youngest of ages.
Brothers who didn’t believe in me or love me.
Brothers who passed me on the streets.
Brothers who blamed me for protecting them.
5 against 1.
I was never good enough.
Never worth protecting.
I wasn’t connected, I was intentionally disconnected.
Always the outside looking in.
Instead of believing I could be good enough to win the game ball
They laughed at me made me feel unheard and disregarded.
Again like I was never good enough.
I had 5 brothers and not a single one felt like a brother to me.
I had 5 chances and not a single one gave me one.
I was the villain never allowed to be the victim.
The memories are never the ways I stepped in between and guarded them.
I just never mattered.
It’s never the conversations about how they would reach out for me when they were scared.
Me. I stood up for them but they never did for me.
I had 5 brothers but I don’t feel like a sister at all.
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 10:41 PM UTC
Little do you know
How I learned to cry without a sound
Little do you know
How I stopped expecting you around
Little do you know
I was breaking while you held your ground
Little do you know
I needed you that time
Beneath the strength I wore to make you proud
Was a child still screaming, not allowed
Some nights I survived things I’ll never speak aloud
Little do you know
I needed you that time
I stayed, I stayed
When your whole world crashed in waves
I stayed
When you were drowning in your pain
I stayed
Put myself last, again and again
But little did you see
No one ever stayed for me
Little do you know
I carried burdens not my own
Little do you know
I fought those battles all alone
Little do you know
The cracks ran deeper than they’d shown
Little do you know
I needed you that time
You call it distance, call it pride
But where were you when I was barely alive?
You ask for peace, for things to slide
Like nothing ever fractured my mind
I’ll heal, I’ll heal
But healing doesn’t mean it’s sealed
I’ll heal
It doesn’t make the past unreal
I’ll heal
And I won’t shrink to fit what you feel
Little do you know
Love isn’t silence when someone’s low
Little do you know
Forgiveness isn’t pretending it didn’t show
Little do you know
I was the first to show
And the last to receive
What I gave so freely
So little do you know
I don’t hate you — I’ve just grown
Little do you know
I found my strength alone
And I won’t beg to be seen anymore.
Feb 20
Feb 20, 2026 at 5:58 PM UTC