#internally
There is something wrong
about the place, I belong.
Ever since you came along
everything has changed
but has it really changed?
or have I just changed?
The friends with whom I ranged
through their thickets are estranged.
They are the same
but their masks seem to be coming off.
Was it all fake and just a part of a game?
Now I am afraid to relapse to when I was seventeen,
the time I had no ear to tell my thoughts to,
for they would leave, judge, not understand and rumor me away.
All alone and bottled up;
I had only a paper to listen to me.
My innocence and guilt is withering
no one's heart is there to grasp
no one's hand is there to to hold.
Many may offer, but it no longer seems real no more.
Trust has been dissolved by the words that held no meaning.
My emotions are no longer the same.
My love is no longer pure.
My attachments are no longer etched to hearts no more.
The year is coming to an end
and everyone is leaving,
Even the ones I thought would never leave.
Although, they are still there physically
none seem to be left in my heart anymore
You may have changed everything,
the way I see people closest to me
But if I held on to you,
and let go of everyone around me;
the day you leave,
will leave me with no one by my side.
So I'll let everyone stay physically,
even when they've deserted me in internally.
I am going to try grasp myself,
The ever-changing soul within me
For I myself should be enough to keep on going.
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 11:08 AM UTC
The limbs grow, cover and cradle me
Like the arms of a forgotten lover
The maggots give me love bits as they slowly consume
The worms slither round about, in and out
Never again will my face wear a frown
Never again will I worry about zen
Or about how's and when's
This moss is my bed
Where I lay my weary head
Off to rest for eternity
Where the animal and insects show me love internally
Finally LOVE!!!!!!
Apr 24, 2016
Apr 24, 2016 at 12:14 PM UTC
She is an artist,
Of red lines that cover her waist.
She is a singer,
Of brutal screams and cries that are never heard.
She is a doctor,
Of fixing every broken heart she sees.
Yet she is a victim,
Of pain and constant internal longing.
But she is a fighter,
And you'll never know she's any different to the little 4 year old you first met her as.
Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 1:27 AM UTC
You've left me with only questions in despair.
Oh my do I just miss that hair.
Twisting my fingers into those beautiful curls.
Now, all you are to me...
is one big, repressed, memory,
If I ever heal internally...
You still wouldn't know.
Dec 22, 2014
Dec 22, 2014 at 2:42 AM UTC
She could die any day.
Just tip-toe away.
But what would they say?
They still say she's okay.
...They don't say "please stay."
They cry when good men die.
They cry when they are scared.
They cry all the time.
They cry here.
They cry there.
So why?
Why?
Why for her, they don't cry?
Here she will fly between fire and sky,
in an ocean
her only air being devotion.
Life&Death; her only notion.
Is it bad to wish for a potion?
A spell to make this spell go?
She may try so-,
but I just don't know.
Why?
Why?
Why can't they see?
The lost,
the falling,
she's calling
she gives them a sign,
she loses grasp of her life's line.
Why?
Why?
Why don't they cry?
Cry for her.
Care for her!
See her here!
Please..
one tear.
Suppress her deepest fear.
Her pain is not mere.
She WILL fall,
if there is no bridge,
between the buildings in her mind.
She WILL tumble,
down,
if no one holds her hand,
and she get's left behind.
Save her.
Savor her.
For like this she will not last.
Deprived of what she needs,
internally she bleeds.
Cry
for just one day.
Prove to her,
she will be okay.
Teach her,
how to no be alone.
Love her,
don't leave her on her own.
Cry
Don't lie to her.
Don't act so refined.
She knows those lies,
she isn't blind.
And for once,
just for once,
when her thoughts have intertwined,
I beg of you,
I plead of you,
no one leave her behind.
Mar 28, 2014
Mar 28, 2014 at 10:09 PM UTC