#instigator
Recklessly I cruise a plateaued plane
One I call memory lane
Which in hindsight was kind of insane
I'm not sure what I was looking to gain
There's not much other than pain in the ones I retain
I know this, it's beyond first hand eyewitness obvious,
Even prior to being forced to meticulously explain
Becoming increasingly familiar with that ruthless domain
Thankfully some truly cherished living snapshots remain
However, most have broken free from their neglected, rusty chain
And I'm left cursing the bane of my existence,
While, in plain sight, the flashbacks that cause my eyes to drain
Swerve in and out of my lane
Joy ridin' my misery or being metaphysically driven to the torture of the mind and soul,
Instigated by a fraction of a fractured brain
That to this day isn't clear on what's it's actually sayin'
Can not seem to refrain from immersing myself in self inflicted pain
Forgotten or slain?
What's it matter if the outcome will be the same;
Me, laying motionless in front of a raging train,
Leaving only a crime scene stain
One that'll go as unnoticed as it did when it flowed through a main artery vein
'Till any and all evidence of my unspectacular,
Super localized reign
Washes away in the rain
And I become nothing more than a name
©2024
May 12, 2024
May 12, 2024 at 12:25 PM UTC
You are poking at my sore spots
Causing them to redden and swell
Leaving bruises upon ego
Due to show-and-tell
Tear at my facade
Standing there in victory
Watching as I fall down
Laughing while I scramble frantically
I'm screaming at you to stop
In an angry fog
Still love you even full of rage
When you won't say you're wrong
Arms sternly crossed, grow furrowed
Somehow caused me to react
Trapped within the spotlight
Wanting to exit your "concerned" act
Maybe I am just bitter because
You pretend like you care
But really take pleasure in
Exposing secrets stripped bare
It kills my pride to be embarrassed
Here you are mocking
Use my pain for satisfaction
False statements I try blocking
Your voice relentlessly cutting through
Dripping mean drops of bitter defeat
Eyes filled to the brim with resentment
The reason I flee on my feet
Although you are talking out of your ***
I know you don't intend any harm
You just love spreading propaganda
Masking wickedness with charm
Some opinions best left unspoken
Truth lies in your voice
You don't care enough to sort it out
Collect bits of conversation, share It, rejoice
Am I too sensitive, moody, and soft?
Experience should have made me strong
Losses only thinned armor
Eroded by countless decisions wrong
Caught in an infinite power struggle
You fight logic with exaggeration
I've surrendered, white flag waved
A soldier of your own creation
Go stir the *** again
That taunting tone I hate
I love you mom, tell me why
You have to instigate
Nov 7, 2018
Nov 7, 2018 at 5:27 PM UTC