#instagirl
I wake up to blue light
I see it when I close my eyes
frustrated, weighted by comparison
I filter my intensity
condense my personality
I show tongue and teeth but no failures or flaws
I see you in your squares, in all your glow
I want to see the dirt under your fingernails
want you to see me cry, my pores up close, counting eyelashes
Our moments
cascading down a feed that never fulfills
shades changed and tweaked at exposure
I am exposed every day
am I known
I want to see the world by your side
not through your phone
hear the sunsets reflect in your tone
I don't want to lose a bet with myself that I don't stare I don't scroll
lose my evening to a screen
my life to anxiety of how people see me
but I want to be seen
I want to know you beyond your squares
and validation screams content for moments till I review my content
view myself in the eyes of another
a narcissistic shudder
I doubt and judge myself
wishing not to compare not to care
yet impulse is too lovable
addiction and algorithmic luring
habits savaged a daily instinct
to share
to show my life through squares
Jan 10, 2023
Jan 10, 2023 at 3:06 PM UTC