#innerwar
Just when everything was pieced back together, it explodes.
Gears and pulleys no longer function as they should.
No respect, or decency for an abused harborer of blood.
Each time stripped and pulled apart.
Restructured with stitches of lies and broken promises.
Cracked open by the unworthy.
Tainted by ***** hands, and chipped blackened finger nails.
Cut and infected, poisoned and bruised.
Stupid thing.
Crying "love me, love me!" over again.
**** it learn!
No longer make yourself out of soft, breakable, easily torn.
Instead surround with metal and iron.
Impenetrable.
Make it so.
I blame you.
I will stitch your mouth shut with iron thread.
I will make it so that you beat only to live a little longer.
I will stop listening, I will no longer allow you to have a say.
You will become nothing to me.
I am sending you to the basement, I am taking all feelings away.
You will no longer roam free.
You will become my unspoken shame.
You will be the secret that I keep.
No one will come to know you.
No one will ever see you again.
You cease to exist this very day.
I will not feed you, I will allow you to die.
I will chain you up and watch you wither away.
You don't deserve to live for what you have done to me.
I trusted you to many times and now you must pay.
I lock you up.
I bury you deep.
The only link you have to me is the blood you pump through my veins.
I owe you nothing.
From this day forward you are dead to me.
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 5:48 AM UTC
You aren't the girl you'd always wanted to be,
the letters on the page said, just barely into my grasp
You aren't who you wanted to be when you were three,
though it long since changed when you were nine.
In fact, you aren't even sure who you wanted to be,
because you were always thinking where you wanted to go
What you wanted to learn, what you wanted to do
What you wanted to be good at,
and you craved to be someone everyone liked
Liked, but at the same time free
You didn't think much of the future, maybe you didn't think there would be one
That it was just so far away you would simply never get there
You aren't the girl you want to be today, either
Less of a burden on everyone else
Even now, as you think of what you want to do, you can't imagine a life
where'd you be at peace
You do not want to go into the future,
and the past is too far away as well
The present is not a gift no more, as it seems like it's a cruel joke
You can't help but sit here and read this-- ready to choke
Your end should have came so long ago, but yet here you stand
at this edge of this cliff, in this darkened shift of the show
Your fingers already numb, as the blood darkens the snow
Your end should have came already, and you’re sorry you missed your chance
Your plans always changed, and you never made it in time
or when the time came you were stuck in your mind
Your time should have came, but delusions will pull you back
that rope tied around your shoulders is all you have
So where do you go? And why must you always have plan A and B?
Why must you always insist on going to the most wonderful places to see
That is where you'll go when you're so far far away
Up on that bridge or at a bottom of a lake
So you can see a beautiful sight before you can blow out the candle
and be free
Sep 10, 2025
Sep 10, 2025 at 11:24 AM UTC
__This is war!__
Not with guns, not with flags, but with myself. Every scar,
every voice in my head is an enemy line I’ve crossed. I fight
with silence, I fight with scars, I fight with the version of me
that swore I’d never get this far.
From being a punching bag to punching back. But it’s hard
not to fall back—into old habits; retreating from myself,
and telling my reflection to _fall back..._
Headlights slice the black, brief flashes through the dark.
Shut my eyes over myself, let their auras pass like thanks.
To all who hurt me: I’ve grown from you all, see my thanks
and my exhaustion. I’m too tired of you all, to carry your
remarks, too deaf to listen to people who say you owe them all.
Between myself and a tertiary exterior: a third self waits—
the superior version of me, complete, unbroken.
Body, mind, and soul to show off to the outside world...
still searching. Thankfully, I’m on the right road.
Aug 20, 2025
Aug 20, 2025 at 4:54 PM UTC
Destruction
Between my heart
And head
Because they often fight
Both thinking they’re right
This internal war
Doesn’t let me sleep
In spite of all the white noise, and teas
Keeping me up, reminding me of everything
All my worries
All the decisions I have to choose between,
Until I decide not to make one
At all
But even then,
I. Can’t. Stop.
Sep 18, 2024
Sep 18, 2024 at 9:47 PM UTC
Dark tower was struck by lightning
Gargoyles and statues started fighting
Tombs began to regurgitate their bones
The violence was written over their stones
The army of evil is matching down the street
The warmth feels cold as if it had lost its heat
Ominous mist enveils the hoard
Invisible enemies that cannot be bought
Apr 6, 2021
Apr 6, 2021 at 5:49 PM UTC