#innerstruggles
I know you are having
a hard time coping
but hiding inside
and cutting our ties
and avoiding
only makes you immature
by the rules of our societies
Let me instead,
make up for your loss
for the loss of thyself
is more unfortunate than any loss
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 12:46 AM UTC
Life is unfair, a merciless snare,
it is a weight we are forced to bear.
A ruthless storm beyond repair,
a fleeting breath of borrowed air.
Many cradle hate in hollow eyes,
others cloak their truth in sweet disguise.
Souls sell themselves for a fragile prize,
countless hearts bury hope where innocence dies.
Several linger in silent dread,
others run from words unsaid.
Broken faces smile while faith has bled,
many lie awake with ghosts in bed.
Certain spirits break but never show,
others conceal scars none will know.
Many plant grief where sorrows grow,
and countless reap what they did not sow.
Notice the moon as it softly gleams,
as sunsets burn in golden streams.
Stars awaken quiet dreams,
while life slips by like whispered beams.
Time will not pause, nor will it stay,
it steals our breath and fades away.
So live with fire while you may,
for your page will turn one final day.
Ş.Ü
Feb 22
Feb 22, 2026 at 11:10 AM UTC
Chances seem high that I sink so low tomorrow— where
do I return the belongings of my skin, stitched too tight
with sin? And is there a good intention I can borrow?
To call love a bullseye, but it's just something darting past
me; for a lap dog on the leash of longing can’t run free—it
only circles the grass. As I fuel my odds at a gas station lot;
feathers searching for a birdie; practicing my golf swing,
hoping for a hole in one— or just putting one in a hole.
"Find a stable life," they say, but the horse track is empty,
where hooves never sound, and only echoes of betting slips.
Online, some search for a type, the screen listening to the
type of fingers. But knowing is never seeing, and belief
needs more than a glow of pixels.
"Good grief"— so cried the one who buried their beliefs,
but they still dug the dirt back smooth, as if planting a
seed for tomorrow. Till we're gone, we'll always have
tomorrow.
Sep 17, 2025
Sep 17, 2025 at 4:07 PM UTC
I choke my vape,
lungs burning, multitudes
of tears droning — bees,
hummingbirds, all their
beauty spilling nectar...
_I’ll never taste it._
If this is a song,
it’s an instrument playing
itself, strung out on instincts,
but struck without melody.
And still—
this feeling ******* stinks.
Sep 1, 2025
Sep 1, 2025 at 7:33 AM UTC
Plotting a course toward destiny isn’t as romantic as it sounds.
Some days, I feel like I’m walking on half-baked schemes rather
than solid plans—improvising hope on cracked pavement.
There’s a “field of dreams,” sure, but not the kind where the
grass is greener. Instead, it’s overrun with the weeds of
disappointment—unwelcome thoughts I have to keep plucking
from my mind before they take root. As I try to find cover under
the so-called tree of life, but even its shade feels uncomfortable.
_Too warm. Too uncertain._ And rest doesn't come so easy when
your thoughts are always so heavy.
And tell me—if someone else’s life came with a perfect promo,
_polished_ and _so promising_, would you still blame me for
my __FOMO__? I mean, what if their dream life is the one I was
supposed to live? What if I just missed the sign-up link? To catch
myself trying to live out the picture of someone else’s success,
because this life of mine? It’s painfully __YOLO__. And I try to
keep my horses steady, but envy isn’t exactly a stable creature.
It wears me down, day by day, like I’m stitched together by
Polo—fashionable on the outside, but worn-out underneath.
Failure, though? Now that’s the real villain. It doesn’t just sting—
it lingers, like emotional __PTSD__. It makes you flinch at the idea
of trying again, as if effort itself is a pointless punishment.
And fingers? Oh, fingers love to point—especially at people
who haven’t gotten far. But when it comes time to point out
themselves, they suddenly feel too short.
Still, I keep my fingers crossed, quietly hopeful I might achieve
something real—_something I truly want as a need_. It’s a bright
hope, exhausting in its intensity. But even in darkness, there’s
always the flicker of a new light waiting to be found.
Jul 19, 2025
Jul 19, 2025 at 5:49 PM UTC
Pictures of my present— but none of them smile back.
Just me, talking to the man in the mirror,
_his eyes tired,
his silence loud._
He stands in the frame, wrapped in skins made of fear—
To stand tall beneath the titles they gave him;
_layered, worn,
worn down._
To call it strength when you pretend to be more than you are.
But no one asks what it costs to keep holding up the
_image they’ve
painted of you._
I want to stop performing, but giving up feels like giving in
to everything they already believe about me, there's never an
_account for the fallen man—
only fingers pointed,
as they count him out like a statistic._
I think about a demise so often it no longer shocks me.
It just waits—patiently— like something I’ve already
_shaken hands with,
gripped by time pressing on me._
Sometimes I feel like I’m boiling alive, my chest
cracking open with a salty crunch, like a crab
_in a sealed ***
no escape, just steam and pressure._
A slow, bitter truth: no one’s turning the heat down.
And all I can say is—
“Crap.”
_Not funny. Not light._
Just the word that stumbles out when your soul folds
in on itself and even pain doesn’t know
how to explain itself anymore.
Jun 23, 2025
Jun 23, 2025 at 6:37 PM UTC
In beauty's embrace, majestic with grace
Soothing, yet a lingering sense of sadness filled up the place,
Unwanted thoughts wind up like a haphazardly tied lace
Been alone countless times won't deny
Maybe it'll be over soon, sighs
I did cry, but I won't pry, I must try and try and try, relentlessly, I don't know why?
Something tells me to do so, and no I won't ask any questions, I'm too tired.
My head feels heavy and it feels cold
Yes, I am a reckless fool, but let truth be told,
hold up, behold,
A free soul, got locked up, in a stronghold, due to freefall, did a reroll, felt an unease, faulty threshold, with a default,
Setting.
Yet I thrived on, not with violence, but with a smile on,
Dreams engulfed in darkness, yet persevered and fight on.
Emotions masked, I fight on, a battle of silence, I reckon
I'm a lost soul at a crossroad, with no hope, yet I try on,
I hold my head up high, a bit shy, but I try
To change the narrative, to rewrite my sky.
I see the highs, I see the lows,
Life's a cinematic film, beautifully composed.
It's real though, no retries, no cheats,
A mistake made, a life fades, "Scream!" echoes in the streets.
Skill issue, you say? Perhaps it's true,
The presence of another is a dream I pursue.
Alas, my fumbling technique never ceases to amuse,
Back to solitude, melancholy's muse.
Walking up the road less travelled by, devoid of any gleam,
A haunting daydream, or so it would seem.
No destination, no direction, just endless extremes,
A conflicted response, a ghastly gleam.
Alone through the time, a truth I've known,
Helplessness grips, a silent pathetic moan.
Guilty, vulnerable, yet a soul set free,
I hate to admit it, but I won't concede.
Heartbreaks, anxieties, failures persist,
Giving up is foolishness, not on my list.
Break me, bury me, all for your thrill,
My body may perish, but never will my will.
Intrusive thoughts roam around, Like I’m fallin’ off of a cliff
The desire to bounce back is sharper than you think
I'm not the one who's drowned here man,
I stand alone, like a “Poneglyph”
My spirit untouched, my soul unbound like a monolith
A rowdy spirit, scorned with disdain,
I'll mock you still, throughout the pain.
I choose my role and I define my fate,
Your words, your arrogance, I disrespectfully negate.
In defiance, I speak with a voice loud and clear,
"The path is treacherous, hearts break, I fear."
The soul’s burnin’, seeking a purpose anew,
To burn it all down, tired of feeling blue.
A voice echoes, a spiteful chill,
Fate falters frivolously front of a mortal's will,
The birth of a legend, just like the Hercules’ will
The poem concludes, a profound standstill,
A journey through emotions, in verses that I instill.
-Asher Graves
May 3, 2025
May 3, 2025 at 1:20 PM UTC
This consistent need to change
This burning desire to be better
Am I slowly changing for good
Or is it good that I am changing ?
I think a lot, speak a little
I dream a lot, act a little
This constant void that I feel in my Life
Why, why, why, I think to myself yet again
Caught in this trap of monotonous mind battles
Apr 11, 2025
Apr 11, 2025 at 2:05 AM UTC
The line between madness,
The line between normality,
The price to pay for loneliness;
I ought to pay with sincerity.
In a world of madness,
The normal are insane,
The right are arcane,
And the abused are ridiculed by sadness.
I ought these days to go aflame,
For now, my madness, needs no blame.
Apr 1, 2025
Apr 1, 2025 at 12:50 AM UTC
One day my daughter will ask me why,
Her gaze will pierce like the evening sky.
"Why don't you believe in God, my dear?"
I’ll answer softly, voice tinged with fear.
"There was a time when faith held me tight,
Its whispers soothed through the longest night.
But wounds I bore were too deep to hide,
And doubts grew strong as the pain inside."
"Perhaps, one day, His grace will descend,
To heal the cracks no soul could amend.
For now, I tread where the shadows cling,
Hoping for dawn that new light might bring."
"Each heart must walk through its trial alone,
A fragile rhythm, a muted tone.
Some rise with strength, while others will fall,
Yet none escapes their own curtain call."
"Christ taught of love, a warm, endless stream,
A truth that glows like a vivid dream.
If hunger strikes, give bread to the lost,
And love without counting the painful cost."
"Beware of those who twist sacred words,
Who wound with tongues as sharp as swords.
Let kindness guide, like a steady flame,
Not bitter blame or a hollow name."
"And so, my child, wherever you go,
My heart will follow, its light will show.
Through storm or calm, I’ll steady your way,
Cheering the paths you choose every day."
"It's fine to fear, but learn this at last:
Monsters will fade, their shadows recast.
Keep faith alive, a lantern to guide,
And love will stand as your truest tide."
As for me, I wander rough terrain,
Each step a balance of hope and pain.
But every scar holds a hidden glow,
And whispers paths where the soul can grow.
Jan 14, 2025
Jan 14, 2025 at 10:47 AM UTC
Why do you do this?
Twist my choices until they vanish,
your words, soft but cruel, carving into my flesh,
each one deeper, more suffocating than the last.
You blackmail me with your pain,
threats hanging like nooses,
slowly tightening around my neck.
You said you’d end everything,
if I didn’t surrender to your darkness.
Do you even see me,
not as your shattered reflection,
but as someone slowly being erased,
drowning in a life I can’t escape?
I know you're sinking,
but why drag me down with you,
burying me beneath your weight?
I need you to hear me—
to release me before I’m lost entirely,
because if you can’t,
I’ll break, and you’ll have killed me too.
Dec 28, 2024
Dec 28, 2024 at 10:50 AM UTC
In distant silence, an ache lingers like a forgotten song,
a haunting melody that echoes through
the hollows of an empty home.
Each separation,
a poignant note in the music of longing.
The desire to convey the depth of absence becomes restrained vulnerability where a heart yearns for more than routine inquiries—
a connection that transcends the ordinary.
Yet, in the vast expanse,
the unspoken lingers as a melancholic language,
a narrative of desire and restraint.
Frustration emerges from unmet desires,
a delicate dance where the fear of vulnerability clashes
with the yearning for profound connection.
Silently, the heart navigates the surface,
resisting the urge to delve into the intricacies of emotions.
Now, a choice is made to reveal little,
to traverse the silence with a delicate grace,
as the unexpressed yearns to be heard in the still expanse.
Oct 2, 2024
Oct 2, 2024 at 5:41 AM UTC
I love me.
I just don't think
Anyone else does.
I love me.
Sep 22, 2024
Sep 22, 2024 at 7:40 PM UTC
I'M BEGGING, my head can only take so much.
Nothing helps me. Except, maybe your touch?
All alone and completely powerless.
Why? When you've helped me overcome this.
I'M CRYING till the ringing, in my head, stops.
What are they? They're bad thoughts causing teardrops.
Eyes overflowing with tears of defeat,
thinking to myself, "why must this repeat"?
I'M TRYING to fight but I just can't win.
Is this what I deserve? Am I a sin?
Must the battle go on, when you have won?
My spirit, broken. Mind and body? Done.
Please, what more can I say? I'm begging.
Please, before death is my only ending.
Jul 9, 2019
Jul 9, 2019 at 9:02 AM UTC
I do wonder why you chose me,
Could it be my foreign looks,
Or perhaps you wanted to add an Asian to your books
Why on earth indeed, especially when you're free?
I hope it's because we're destined to be,
But I feel as if I'm on a hook.
This feels surreal just like out of a book;
I do wonder how you love me.
I have a volatile mind,
That will not cease doubts
From overflowing until I'm out-shined.
I feel drained from being entwined
With my thoughts, hoping for that final knockout.
Hoping for all this to end - yes, I know I'm a sellout.
But this is my life; I will not be out-shined.
Jul 8, 2019
Jul 8, 2019 at 2:58 PM UTC
These monsters that live in my brain,
Are constantly circulating,
screaming,
Dying of pain.
My soul struggles,
reaching for an escape,
Before this snake,
Induces a forced ****
My heart feels nothing but anger,
And it's weighted down,
by a heavy steel anchor.
An anchor so muscular,
It's dragged me down to my grave,
So here I am.
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 3:13 PM UTC