#innercritic
You say I am loved,
But she says I am not —
You say I am worthy,
But she says I am rot.
You say I am loved,
But I can’t feel a thing.
You say I am wonderful,
But she says I am paradoxical.
You say you love all of me, every single part —
But she says I am dispicable...
You say I am loved,
But I can’t hear a word.
Somedays Your voice resonates and is resolute,
But she is always in the background, muffling the airwaves.
Then, You remind me that I am forgiven —
And that’s the nail in her coffin, gone to the grave.
Jan 2
Jan 2, 2026 at 11:53 PM UTC
Oh how I cling
each rule/each limit/each principle
Calms a fractured self
Fools it into thinking
it is still capable of wholeness.
Chains and fences and harsh lines
Built up so neatly
As if
Proximity to perfection
is synonymous with safety
A truer guideline
Lets us fail
And meet our limits
meet our shadows
connect with our friend humility.
to be critical
Has no reward
Mar 23, 2025
Mar 23, 2025 at 3:43 PM UTC
What is true surrender?
How to stop fighting?
I only know the why.
My heart is aching
Because I try and try and try ...
Constantly starving myself
From love
Permanently thinking
That I am not enough
"Oh my poor self"
This is self-pity
"Why can't I be as
Beautiful or pretty?"
"This is so selfish
You're superficial"
This is the judging voice
Sounds like an official
"Making yourself dependent
On looks. On other's opinions,
On not your own truths"
"Of course, you know best"
-that's the submissive one.
Digging deeper a knife
Into one's own throat.
"Whatever it takes
I will express myself"
-this is the fighter,
Not giving up.
"We need to stop,
This is too much"
The fearful voice
Afraid of touch,
"Uh you're so pathetic"
That's the *********
Self-hurt multiplies
When it arrives.
"Let's do this again!"
The optimistic tone,
And there's the naive one
"I'm in, yes, yes, yes!"
"You can't be serious"
The everlasting anger
Trying to diminish
Whatever one thinks
And disappointment
Arises and lingers
In the air,
One is thrown into mist.
"I am so lost. I cannot see"
That's overwhelm
Coming over me.
This is where all the voices at once
Scream at me, talk to me,
Not one by one.
And overbearing with the emotion
One starts to drown in the dark and deep ocean,
Foggy the vision, nasty the mind,
One deeply lost, blurry and blind.
"Now are we satisfied?"
That's the expectation,
To make something outstanding
Out of every creation.
"Nah, could be better"
The perfectionist,
Trying to please...
Forgetting ease.
"My chest is burning"
Hypochondria churning,
Maybe the pressure is
Simply too much.
"You're so incapable!"
The inner critic,
Makes one feel hateful
Towards oneself.
"Wow, that's a lot"
Finally self-compassion,
Emerging slowly,
Comes into action.
"Burning" - exhaustion,
The energy released
And the heat in the body-
Increased.
"Is this awareness? What's my next step?"
Carefully wondering,
Still full of regret,
This is distrust,
Losing patience fast...
Helplessness howls,
Fear kicks in deeper,
"I think I can't breath,"
Anxiety croaks.
"When will it end?"
I ask and reply:
"It will not end,
Until I die."
Jan 6, 2025
Jan 6, 2025 at 11:44 AM UTC
Dear imperfect me,
You are your own, just be.
You wrestle with insecurity,
that you can't settle peacefully.
Dear imperfectly,
The way you are is how you're meant to be.
Don't close your eyes and pretend you can't see,
Cos when you do, you're missing free
dom, and the richness; vibrancy,
of what it means to be living, see!
Dear imperfect me,
The devil wants you to be devastatingly,
lonely, to isolate yourself from me,
to run around, head cut off, me.
But dear imperfect me,
there's no such thing as superiority,
it's just what we do when we are achingly,
small inside, and out, dumb wittingly,
disconnected from reality.
Such a waste; insecurity, obligatory shame, we accept begrudgingly.
Dear imperfect me,
Can we try something new, happily?
Can we live more peacefully,
seeing ourselves progressively?
As beauty wrapped, uniquely!
As unsentimentally evolving.
Dear imperfectly perfect me,
You are, you are, who you're meant to be,
For now, until you're not; key!
Grab this truth wholeheartedly.
Dec 27, 2024
Dec 27, 2024 at 10:27 PM UTC
I am projecting
My self-rejecting
Onto other people
This harmless action
Destroys connection
All in my brain
A habit contained
Now realizing
Awareness sings
Let's liberate
Don't be afraid
Fears are surreal
Anxiety's real
People are mirrors
Of how I think and feel
Dec 24, 2024
Dec 24, 2024 at 7:07 AM UTC
The controller sits in her tower,
Blasting down commands:
Do this, and do that,
Reverberating are her demands.
How to calm her bellow? I ponder.
How did she get so loud?!
But then, sometimes it's so subliminal,
Her messages that silence the proud.
Silence is deathly, it kills life when left unchecked,
Is it peaceful or suffocating?
Is it healing or is it a tragedy?
Can I change? Or is this how she'll be for the duration?
I have hope in you oh Lord,
That you will calm the controller.
I have trust in you, oh Lord,
But I just have to let out this holler...
Nov 28, 2024
Nov 28, 2024 at 6:52 PM UTC
Some people just don't understand
That I can read a face like the back of my hand
With an Inner Critic at the back if my mind
It judges and examines everyone I find
Along with every action I take
Are you sure that's not a mistake
With every person I meet
Lair, Lie! Flaw! Flaw! Don't even greet
But I'm the victim here
No one likes you, you're weird. Don't go near
But I can't always be alone
Just use your phone
It doesn't stop, it's forever speaking
Ruthlessly reminding me of my flaws
Into my hollow core it's forever peaking
It scratches the inside skull with claws
It belittles and berates
It remembers all the dates
That were your most bleak
When you try you can't speak
You unwillingly see the worst in friends
Your relationship bends
Then you are the one to blame
As continues the game
The Inner Critic, oh the mastermind
Quick as ever, one of a kind
You can't turn and run
Help, it's no longer fun
Oct 14, 2017
Oct 14, 2017 at 8:56 PM UTC