#initiation
Why can’t I focus?
Why is it conditional?
They don’t understand,
They can’t understand
I’m scolded when I listen,
Dismissed when I’m not,
They can’t make up their mind
What do they want?
Why can’t I finish?
Why are instructions so hard?
How do they do it when it’s too hard?
How do they keep going?
Where is it?
Where did I put it?
Where are my things?
Why am I like this?
What time is it?
How long has it been?
When I don’t watch,
It passes like the wind
That’s so pretty, bright,
My thoughts are too loud,
What was that?
Can you repeat?
Nov 3, 2025
Nov 3, 2025 at 11:28 AM UTC
The event, perhaps
advent, first ever any thing,
where nothing had been, not a thought.
I think.
Then, when nothing was over
and everything we know now,
began, light
was not the first thing, the idea was.
Be for
Yes.
Word one. Hmmmmm or um or am
it may have been, I heard from
a transcribbled myth
or a legend as old as any
meme-level memory mortals have
made-up from remaining
tidbits taught to any next gen thing.
Look.
Assume light is as fast as the expansion,
couple of Planksecs,
and it is at the edge of ever,
never before,
never busting beyond the bubble we be in,
dead center,
the physical middle of ever,
continuous now,
nothing to stop us imagining we,
disagree, now, after all's been said and done,
and things run on,
de iffing chaos as the live evil force itself,
ever teaching any mind co-operation
in time… swirling beauty in bands of invisible
galaxies, barely seen even now, we
see what we are told we see,
enhanced
and expanded to
original intent, at the scale of precision, which
now requires
of those who wish
to know truth init's entirety,
faith in the wits who invented the lenses
we imagine we see through into-ity ever
………..
This day began this way. Everything already,
readable, as it were, once, with us,
before our story folded,
stapled and refolded and bent to allow
the data-based
mass enlightenment I deal with now,
mere data,
knowledge, knowns known more
than I may think or ask,
available on our distant viewing apparatchik
network of nova sensorium's newest equations
that balance at perfectly predictable
infinity… or do not work.
Pop. Bubble after bubble falling
through the quantum foam.
Come on home.
Live and learn, do the math.
Or wait to see
somethings never mattered
up to now, and now, you know,
you did, some how. That's good.
------------------
here we are, after all.
On course, of course;
here has more spectrums to be on.
here has more curves to miss,
here has
turns that twist us back to
now,
sudden- seeming
now, still
wow
is near the only value add
we ever hope to hear.
Cold or hot or just
right, fine
sifted patterns from the echo, wa wa wa
did we get so serious we lost the place
we held
positive on a negative pole,
an aberrant position
erring ever from
the straight point to point pattern
of pro gression to non
aggressive agreement in the we we were
- per haps, as babies we were thought
coyotes, little devils of trickery wu,
so we were swaddled in goat' wool,
to provoke this itching and pre
vent this whole idea, you
thinking wild,
unpacked
unglossed abnormal canine thought…
like a dog, dreaming of the chase.
------------
----------------------
Only chase real rabbits, that's
Greyhound wisdom.
Pookas are always worth the chase,
real or otherwise, if you see one,
chase it.
--------------------------
On the bus,
or off, Cassidy was a character,
sure as any in literature,
an archetypical untamed man,
crazy,
by most accounts, possessed
with a wish to die young,
and be famous for ever having been
a penniless drunkard's form of a man,
an unnatural scion of lost and beaten men.
------------
So, that spirit lingered… in my past that
ran to catch me here
today, in the pattern recognizant
aha, I know
this voice… I knew that spirit,
merry prankster splashing in Burro Creek,
before the bridge existed,
oblivious to quick sand my mother
warned me to be aware of,
as she had learned the hard way,
…remember
there is solid rock below the mud,
hold your breath.
--- a new me --
Burro Creek, survivor of the crossing,
since ever was.
------------------------
Survival is always good news.
Mission accomplished, it is finished, fini.
Peace on earth, good will
to ward men {wombed and un}.
That is a message, an angel, judge it.
They call that
The gospel, in my realm.
It is finished is considered grace.
The truth makes free, grace makes useful.
Infinite grace, with a bit of funny math
for making nextifiy tests, t'
keep the kids sharp.
-- slow lane -- this is…
The good spell, I tell my self I know.
News,
from nearer than we can imagine
possible, posited
in a place called here, at that
point, nearer than we
thought, here
where I exist, the ego me, floating
on that same old ocean of opinions,
lapping at my shore.
This must be that sea, they think
is where all eventualities
congregate to wait
for everything
to finish the pattern, to the nick
in the stick that told us when
to begin, this
once, once more.
I was convinced.
I was never invincible, to my defense,
I built the wall that hides my best
from pride's envaluing scheme,
best of the lot,
without spot or blemish,
make this the one we take,
leave the ring-straked, spotted and speckled.
Holy is pure. Pure is white.
Uh-oh.
This is where we find the stragglers,
carrying the cross of Jesus,
while marching,
as to war.
We sang that song in public school,
when music was a given need
each allegiant took to heart,
Onward Christian Soldiers,
-- mind wanders
----------------------------
7 trombones, and 10 clarinets
led the big parade, with one bass drum
marching as to war,
to destroy what Jesus did not finish,
followed by the lesser corps,
of boy scouts,
with only fife and snare.
Then came the grand equestrians,
all who owned a silver saddle,
passed as knights from when
our fathers stole this land.
My family had the contract to follow up
with shovels and barrows on wheels.
We were the signal for
next phase, of hell's a-poppin-days…
the Burro Barbecue in Bullhead City.
Long ago, there was one red light across the river,
a porch light on a trailer, behind Laughlin's first bar.
---------- Faux Nostalgian
algia alegian re alegian pain of-
pain felt,
fear of-
fear felt,
---------------------------
Great line in the movie, Boss Level…
geek says "Childless by choice."
Hero replies, "whose choice?"
--- Badfinger - half of them chose death over survival.
--- if it matters when you know
--- I skipped the 70's … so the soundtrack's new…
I heard about you…
looking back in time on a line I never walked,
as it were,
on first pass through the realm of ever afters
flashing
past lights shone, blinking,
settings seeming chaotic in tri-colored quarks
insisting
it all works out.
Rock 'n'roll f'ever, a post-pubescent poets dream.
First, learn the game,
then learn the rule it rode in on. Who is teaching
whom
the next best
move. Ai do believe my loop expanded now
you are here with me
in the mix
confused as reason for knowing quarks come in colors.
Love comes in colors, too.
Could be coincidence.
--- Old Osiris, man, he hard t'kill.
Ham 'n' Evans, not so hard. They lost the will to live.
The seventies ate many couldabins.
Freewill or fate, knowing was a factor.
Money had a finger init right, bad, the whole unbitten apple
idea attempting to tweak the future
from the past…
how long did those trips last? Radioman,
can you imagine,
all along its been this one song
?
Taste, and see. know you know.
sapient (adj.)"wise," late 15c.
(early 15c. as a surname)- {eh, a family name?},
from Latin sapere "to taste, have taste, be wise,"
from PIE root *sep- (1)
"to taste, perceive"
(source also of
Old Saxon an-sebban
"to perceive, remark,"
Old High German antseffen,
Old English sefa
"mind, understanding, insight").
From <https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=sapient>
Nothing eastern in the idea. Makes me think
what if,
long ago, knowing was a given, not a taken thing?
Isha, you may call her Eve,
or Mito-mom;
she's our most recent common ancestor,
after her,
as a species, we
came to be namers who knew, sapient sapient,
the dominant multicellular life force
on earth. We are her mitochondrial line,
there are no others.
Users of new knowns,
conscience guided
**** Sapien squared, that's us,
tuned to a thought that better
is never worse,
try… learning to talk with no one to talk to.
Imagine that.
… back in garden after the trick,
she knew…
--- C'mon, taste, you've no idea what death is.
She persuaded him to taste.
And there the story verges from the one you know.
Mar 7, 2021
Mar 7, 2021 at 9:04 PM UTC
"How do you meditate daddy?"
Meditation is hiding how I meditate even from my own pen.
You may observe me meditating and learn that way.
Jan 21, 2021
Jan 21, 2021 at 4:08 PM UTC
She asked,
“When did you start to write?”
Pity was, that time
When I have to read
What I think
That time I realized
What I read
Could be
My own
Edible words
©
Sep 13, 2018
Sep 13, 2018 at 11:26 PM UTC
Teach your child
to plant a tree
than pluck one
that was never
her own entity
but its own
Teach your child
to make a painting
of a flower
as a gift
than give a bouquet
that will die soon
or instead
teach her to
give a sapling
that will grow
into a memory
which will hold
much power
Teach your child
to question
than cower
to vain rules
and illogic
that steal her
playful affection
and her artless frolic
Teach your child
to climb trees
before the
ladders to
supreme echelon
Teach her
that when she collapses
she must stand up
with grace and poise
like the shining sun
for after
the night
is done
laying its darkness
it rises again
the sun
Teach your child
the colors of mankind
Yellow or Orange
Red or Brown
Black or White
to accept each one
everyone
without the division
of vanity
of power
or a crown
Teach your child
to create
her own meaning
of Love
Teach her to
listen to the story
of every tear
that bears grief
and to
speak aloud
to bespeak
wisdom and virtue
in brief
Teach your child
about the freedom
in and of the mind
before she rebels
to venture outside
with people
who care less
about her kind
but more about
filling the space
on a car seat
Teach your child
to believe
in possibilities
and have faith
in the certainties
of unlocking mysteries
Teach her
to fuel
her curiosities
Teach your child
values that were not
taught to
the crowd
then you will
stand a mother
full and proud.
Aug 18, 2018
Aug 18, 2018 at 11:17 AM UTC
Life Soul
Gone
Drawn Away
By a Feeding Tube
From Another Species
The Difficulty
Ive Learned How
To Do It Too Now
But Will I?
Aug 15, 2016
Aug 15, 2016 at 7:07 AM UTC
Black Stohl
Upon
Black Robe
Burning
Flame
Within
God's Life
Ignite,
Thou Art Me
Black Robe
Within
Black Light
Lift the Mantel
Of Givingness
Softly
From Raised Shoulders...
Bodies last Stand
Chalice of Grace
Risen
Life Eternal
Love Immortal
Apr 2, 2016
Apr 2, 2016 at 11:56 PM UTC
I catch the wind as it sings,
the air slides off so smoothly as it licks me clean
I am the essence of the prolonged flight
a necessary piece of this biological schema or meme
Viewed from below, the sky caresses my form
fractal in its simple, yet non-single shadow swarm
Hunting in the perfect performance;
I must scream: THIS IS LIFES’ ****
Suddenly I am separated in somewhat sinful schism
I drift apart from the forlorn form of what was once my prism
I miss that system...It was my home not my iron-clad prison
….but apart after the start....If I am part of the parts...........
….how shall I help my whole being...
….complete it’s functional syllogism with heart?
Falling so slowly,
Mother sky please excuse me
At this junction I must depart
In conclusion
I bid you adieu from my heart of hearts....
============================================until I am
Picked up by a man imbued with spirit, He holds the eagles medicine now firmly in his hand. Distinct in shape and my weight helps him to understand.....
….his brother in the sky
the being way up high
the one who is watching
far away but nearby....
I now know my function, though I lost sight for a while
I can help teach him to fly, out of his body and into
the cry of the eagle that soars with him now,
A brother in arms================= a lover of ours,
now with a friend on his brow, helping fulfill a spiritual how.
Feb 12, 2016
Feb 12, 2016 at 10:59 AM UTC
coming to think of it
the first woman
to whom I ever
had been very close
must have been desperate
to claim a father
for her three-month child
as yet unborn
she came into my bed
out of the blue
with fierce determination
the mission failed
I was too cautious
and her rash parting
left me wondering
at her dismay
not until some months later
when I saw her push the pram
did I become aware I had
unwittingly
emerged fairly unscathed
from ancient battlegrounds
of social order
* * *
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 7:01 PM UTC
The box is open;
all its treasures have spilled out,
the sour milk that cures.
Then, a door slams shut,
and we can no longer move
where secrecy reigns.
On the other side,
one can find oneself anew,
wand'ring in the wastes.
Today, when I die,
I shall give my body up,
that I become free.
May 24, 2014
May 24, 2014 at 6:01 PM UTC
You'll be initiated,
when you are ready.
Life knows,
and the initiation rites
are waiting.
Where you are holding,
you will be broken.
Where you've lost heart,
you will be shaken.
Where you are careless,
you'll meet your neglect.
What you are averse to,
will be total and stark.
What you are attached to,
will be pried from your grips.
Ignorance will be
wrought with vision,
a burning,
to make you see.
You are loved so much
that you will be engulfed in
the flames
of loves fire,
in order to
ignite your own
hearts flames,
and fulfill loves destiny.
Alchemical change will ensue,
destroying you,
to make way for
new love.
Licked by some Hellish ordeal,
Ambivalence gives way to Engagement,
Rage engenders Clarity,
Anxiety becomes Inspiration,
Apathy roars into Feeling,
Melancholy imbues it's Depth,
Licked by some Heavenly delight.
Phoenixed, you'll fly,
the hero of your own journey,
wielding revelatory fire,
with great Wisdom
and Compassion,
a Gestalt,
anew.
The circle closes,
it is a spiral,
to the beginning,
of another
Circle.
Mar 17, 2014
Mar 17, 2014 at 1:24 PM UTC