#indieauthors
A list of lost poetry
Lies on my bed stand
and An archive of memories
Rests in your hand tonight
Another sob story
To another break up song
Another solitary cigarette
To another, “I knew better all along”
So, rather than the ladder
I’ll minimalize farther yet
Until I can’t believe in anything
and I manage to forget
She skipped the song
and Got right along to her favourite verse
She said she practiced, but forgot to rehearse
She says, “I hope I’ll be up to par, tonight”
She looked so fragile against my skin
My favourite probably was
The time when I
Believed the lie
What a pleasure it was to succumb
What a pleasure it was to feel alive
What a pleasure it is to say
I forgot to say good bye
She said it’s a control thing
Something that looks grim in the right kind of light
and I’m an eye sore to the onlooker
I guess I never worried much about that
Somewhere between wish I may
and Wish I might
Somewhere between
The fire
and The flame
Somewhere in between everything
I forgot to feel anything at all
I was never what you hoped I would be
but You have to admit, I did try
I tried everyday to give you something to believe
but I understand that some things
Just aren’t up to me
Some things you have no choice
but To sweep underneath
and The floor’s starting to lose shape
Under the weight of things
She knew the horizon, it wouldn’t change anything
We run from our geographical locations
Thinking that our region will change
Our core being
Created in God’s image, we are foolish creatures by nature
We ride on hope that’s never been validated by anything
We dig our fingers into the sand and revel in our pipe dreams
She’s praying against all odds that her rod
Isn’t the one that gets struck by lightening
“I’m not ready,” she said
“How can I let go,
When I don’t even know where I’ve been?”
At the end of the night
She lit a cigarette
She watched her smoke
Billow into the sky
She tucked her laces into her shoes
and Brushed off her jeans
She picked her keys up off the ground
Then she leaned in, and kissed me good night
Feb 21, 2016
Feb 21, 2016 at 8:26 AM UTC
It was written before it was stone, my friend
She tells me a thousand reasons why her tides turn as they do
Each one of them knotting up
Before she ties the noose
She says it’s nothing personal
To disregard anything that was misconstrued
but Wasn’t it you, my darlin’?
I think it was you
I saw her again, late last night
She was wearing a ball gown and was
Sporting her converse tennis shoes
I caught a glimpse of her
As she kneeled down before him
That’s the hard thing about her
She’s a lie, but you can’t know that
Until you know her
and If you’ve known her, you’ll know
That there is no use
It’s a repetitive cycle that just
Begs to be true
When they put it on the stone
They put it on the cross
They made molds to make shapes
To accommodate
For what was lost
They found that what they’d hoped for
Was just a mask, a mirage
So they made up their own story to tell the masses
and On the next Sabbath, slaughtered the cause
and I suspect they took their time sewing shut the valves of your heart
and I don’t know what to do
You always ask me
Like I pay attention to the news
You’re surprised each time
I can’t tell you the truth
But you know what I am, don’t you honey
You’ve got my number, and you’ve got a plan
and I hope you don’t take me down with it
I hope you don’t take me down in it
The street lights, they don’t need a guide
To show them how, to show them out of
The dark night, the street lights
Don’t mind if you mind’s swollen
and Your heart is left open like a
Gaping wound, the street lights
They’ll keep you company tonight
In that moment, I became afraid
There was a disassociative effect
There you were, on the bed
and Then here I was, on the floor
Pulling at my skin
and I glanced at the window pane
Hoping the snow would lift my spirits
Instead I saw shards of glass
In my fists, going at it
I can’t even trust my mind anymore
It used to be my safe haven
Suddenly everything I came here for is
Out of sight, out of vision
and You’ve left your sword
and Abandoned your mission
You walked me home
You came and got me
I didn’t think you’d come, or anybody
I didn’t care,
I never expected anyone to come anyway
I mean that in the plainest way
We are conditioned in circumstance
Nothing else
Some of us fair better than others
and You’ll either survive, or you won’t
It’s the natural order, the law of evolution
We’ll **** out the defective genes,
and Enhance the most
We live in a society that insists
You stand on your own
but We live in a world
With a collective mindset
Who do we trust,
Our roots, or society as a whole?
and In the meantime we’ll try
We’ll do our best
Not to feel alone
I think you better get yourself
Some medical attention
You might have to call an ambulance kid
It could be serious
but I know how serious
Serious gets
and Right now this mess we got here,
This ain’t nothin’
I’m not gonna even
Worry myself about it
When I left I took
All my stuff with me
I took your heart, as it was bleeding
I got in my car, and
As I was leaving
I saw you standing in the window
You were crying, I shut my eyes
Slipped into reverse
Couldn’t help but glance in the mirror
and There you were, still standing
I saw the woman in the day room
Behind mountains of boxes
I knew you’d never leave, in that moment
That I’d return to a silhouette
Still crying, and
I’ve loved you in a way that a monster cannot feel
I don’t understand it, but I had to go
It was one of those moments when
Everything you’ve learned goes out the window
and That queer sensation, that lump in my throat
I didn’t know what it was until something willed me
To return home, you can’t identify
What you don’t know
In plain language
I don’t know how I’ll find a way
To forgive myself, but you
Keep trudging, you keep
Moving forward, because you
Don’t know what else to do
With yourself, because you can’t
Go home, this is your home,
but You are candescent
and Until the light returns to her heart
You will stand in the backdrop of it
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 9:31 AM UTC
You get what you payed for
and You take what’s yours
You don’t bother asking anyone
Who they are anymore
You just hum your song along
Until you get to the gate
Then you show the attendant
Your intention to go only one way
She says,
“It’s a ride you can’t get off,
and It curves around the bend
Where she takes you,
She’ll decide,
Right there and right then”
So what you mean to say
In so many words
Is that I’m powerless?
Nonetheless,
You get what you payed for
and You know you can’t complain
This box here contains
Only the sentiments you can’t
Find a way to blame
So you pull ‘em out
and Look them over
Until the hurts gone away
Even though it seems impossible
Today
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 9:29 AM UTC
When I saw that the black had permeated
Every last vein, nail, and hair
and That it finally stopped to rest
Deep inside me, somewhere
I pulled out my best knife
and I rolled up my sleeves
Without thinking, I tore open the skin
and What I found wasn’t regret, but relief
I watched as one by one
They milled about and then out of the room
They stopped to peer inside the box
Before they left, they each caught
A glimpse of the beast that
Loomed underneath
No one dared to touch the thing
The oddity that had become me
So I guess they wouldn’t have known
I was harmless back then
I wasn’t a monster yet
I guess it doesn’t matter now
Like everything else, it’s water under the bridge
Feb 17, 2016
Feb 17, 2016 at 7:46 AM UTC