#independant
So I'm supposed to be a grown up now and do grown up things,
Like pay bills and actually go to the gym to do more than look at cute guys.
And I am supposed to find a place to live on my own,
Where I will do groceries and cook meals, healthy meals that are not craft dinner out of the ***
And I'm going to have to clean everything by myself,
I guess I need to buy cleaning supplies, like a vacuum and toilet cleaner and windex.
And I will work, go to a job everyday,
But it can't just be any job, it has to be something I love because I don't want to be one of those people who hates their job.
And now that I am a grown up I will watch the news,
And shake my head at the politicians and vote.
And my room will always be super organized,
With little boxes for everything and dressers I bought and assembled myself from IKEA.
That's right, I assembled them myself. I may have had to borrow my Dad's tool box but I did it myself.
That's another thing I need to, buy a tool box.
All of these things need to be done now because I am a grown up.
But how am I supposed to be a grown up when I still feel like a kid?
May 11, 2018
May 11, 2018 at 11:40 AM UTC
he's always been my poison,
I've always known he would **** me
as slowly as any substance abuse
that brought me absolute bliss
he's a vision of petulance and
frustration, of hardships and loss,
and when he speaks I stop to listen
all the while begging for a kiss
of the poison I've been living off of,
for months upon months I was his
and I told myself he was mine but
the truth is he belongs to no one
because it's as simple as this,
poisonous lips don't fall in love
Jul 15, 2017
Jul 15, 2017 at 4:30 PM UTC
It rained too often, the sun didn’t shine,
The earth was dry, but the flower was fine,
She grew alone on a small, dull hill,
Flowers were below but she was isolated still.
A few days later when the hurricane arrived,
She was torn to pieces, completely deprived.
She had been put through the worst and in her strain,
The flower pushed on and did not complain.
The sun rays smiled on the flowers below,
They were perfectly adapted and had a slight glow,
Roots filled with moisture, but never too much,
Surrounded by others, close enough to touch.
A few days later when the hurricane struck,
The flowers were devastated and depended on luck,
In this time of hardship, the flowers could not cope,
They were dead the next day as they had lost all hope.
It rained too often, the sun didn’t shine,
The earth was dry, but the flower was fine.
She grew alone on a small, dull hill,
Flowers weren’t below, but she had herself still.
Feb 2, 2017
Feb 2, 2017 at 1:06 PM UTC
I've got no family
I've got no good friends there for me
Only people who feel sorry
What am I supposed to do when I'm in pain
Howling and muttering in shame
I am so tired
All I want to do is fall
But I don't know if I'll have the strength to pick myself up
Sure I have their support but at the end of the day
But I'm their problem
I want to be their family
A person they would die for and not only for the attention
Guess I've got myself but then again
I only care about myself to not to be noticed
Mar 28, 2016
Mar 28, 2016 at 11:19 PM UTC
Don't get lost in my eyes
I don't want you there,
Don't steal a kiss
It's mine, and wouldn't be fair,
And don't you dare take my heart,
It would be foolish to start
And then would just hurt
In a hole filled with air
And then I'd be empty
And you wouldn't care
So stay out of my head,
I don't want you there
Sep 7, 2015
Sep 7, 2015 at 1:07 AM UTC
Its taken me this long
To realize
To understand
That not every moment
Needs to be shared
To be great
But it might be better
If it were
Because great moments
Alone
Are still
Never as great
Im so independent
I dont need anyone
For anything
But i want someone
For everything.
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 8:26 PM UTC
With no one to answer to,
I do what I want to.
This concept is new,
what do I like to do?
Go to a metal show,
hit in the nose with an elbow;
let the blood flow.
Didn't even feel the blow,
so I didn't even need to go
instead, myself, I did throw
back into the crowd I plough
and hit dude back, real low.
Go to the club to dance all night
keep going until morning light,
me and some ***** have a fight
but I come out alright ,
now us two are super tight.
Look at me now, living life!
Dudes lined up on their knees
each one is begging to please,
but they don't interest me.
Everybody wants a squeeze;
my happiness is such a tease.
Every guy thinks their the cheese,
each wanna try to meet my needs,
"gimme that *** so they plead,
sorry fellas, nobody does it like me!
I scream my own name
and I love this change.
My life hasn't been the same,
since I stopped laying the blame
on others for keeping me lame.
I'm big now, I may have met fame!
Guys in the bands want my name,
Friends of friends are going insane,
"who's that girl with the quick-wit brain?
Wildly free; she can't be tame!
Hotter than the sun's own flame!"
It's for sure that I'm not plain,
you've been looking at me since I came,
but I'm not going to be claimed!
You can say that it's such a shame,
but these days, I feel no pain;
I'm not a part of anyone's game.
I thought I'd struggle on my own,
but the truth has now been shown
I've got the strength and the tone,
to say no in a drug filled zone.
Look at me and how I've grown,
doing better now that I'm alone;
I feel amazing, let it be known!
My mind is somewhat blown
with all the options I've been thrown,
figuring out where I feel at home
and loving that nothing's set in stone.
With no one to answer to,
I can really do what I want to.
And although this concept is new,
the results are far from few!
My personality will debut
after I figure out exactly who
I am and what I like to do.
I'm very close, this is true,
to creating myself anew;
it's a self-respect breakthrough,
finding myself after you.
Dec 22, 2014
Dec 22, 2014 at 11:03 AM UTC
My least favorite feeling,
I now feel all the time;
it has me, nightly, kneeling,
God, I need a place that's mine.
Everywhere I go these days,
I feel out of place; I don't belong.
I've tried living multiple ways,
but everything feels so wrong.
I've tried on different hats,
tried being a different person,
but on all these different tracks,
this feeling only worsens.
No one I know puts me at ease;
no one out there understands;
no one out there disagrees
that I must make my own plans.
If I feel so **** out of place,
then it seems to me I must seek out
my own comfortable space
and find exactly what I'm about.
I keep hoping that I'll fit in,
but that's impossible for me;
I'm unique in my own skin
so a unique place, I'll need to be.
Dec 19, 2014
Dec 19, 2014 at 3:05 PM UTC
“Do you have children?”
“No” I reply.
“Did you not want them?”
What's with the why?
Oh I wanted them alright
But try as I might
Their father never materialised
So neither did they.
Don’t assume my career must have got in the way
Or hypothesize that I’m gay
So proud all you mums of your legacy
Well,
it just didn’t happen for me.
some of you think I’ve missed out on life
And to an extent
I’d agree this is true
But how many of you
Have seen as much of the world as I?
I think with a sigh,
At least I am free
But, yes at times
Incredibly lonely.
So please don’t ask that question as though kids are a given
BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T GIVEN TO ME
By anybody.
And I have to get on with life
Hearing that question
Which cuts like a knife
I'm sorry
It's fine
It just makes me sad
This reminder that I’ll never meet
The children that I never had.
Dec 13, 2014
Dec 13, 2014 at 3:04 PM UTC