#indecisive
Should I stay or should I go?
My universal ultimatum.
I loved him for a thousand years,
but this second? I think I hate him.
Make or break, I’ve got to run–
I fear it’s time to go.
His hands are soft but loaded guns,
yet his eyes?
They make my heart rate slow.
Here I stand amidst the flames
with two routes in my path:
reach for the extinguisher
or run–
**** the aftermath.
If loving a man is explosion
and being alone is peace,
why stay until I lose myself
when it’s easier to retreat?
So I stand here in the doorway
of this house we built on flames,
and right when I’m about to lock it–
Would you believe
he yelled my ******* name?
Dec 4, 2025
Dec 4, 2025 at 4:28 AM UTC
I dream in color yet
Think in black and white,
But grey always
soaks
it
all.
Nov 19, 2025
Nov 19, 2025 at 12:59 PM UTC
Things move along
before I’ve made up my mind,
a railway over an ocean,
and I’m along for the ride.
Not quite willing,
but also not captive,
expected to go with the flow
and remain well-adapted.
Drivers impatient
and maps outdated,
planning my own route
is slow and underappreciated.
I’m ushered left
and shoved to the right,
an indecisive death-
but I float on alright.
I don’t know that I want
to be on this train,
but I’m already here,
I’m expected to stay.
Walking and talking
should be banned for me,
once I look up,
all new surroundings I see.
Am I the bad guy
for abandoning ship,
when I never said yes,
but I was complacent?
Aug 13, 2025
Aug 13, 2025 at 2:50 PM UTC
Do I reach out and plead my case?
Or
Let
It
Go...
Jun 6, 2025
Jun 6, 2025 at 10:34 PM UTC
I'll fold the laundry and laugh with my sisters,
maybe take my daughter for a walk.
I'll pick up the same toys one thousand times and hear "Hey mom look at me",
and I'll smile everytime.
It's a day like any other to everyone but me,
Yet I keep it to myself.
My broken heart won't ruin their stories, their laughter, their play,
I'll bottle it up and keep going about my day.
May 8, 2025
May 8, 2025 at 1:55 PM UTC
Ill pack up your things,
Toss them in the yard,
Your clothes and my rings,
I'll throw them so ******* far
You don't have to worry,
They'll be back in their places tomorrow,
I'll make you breakfast I'm sorry,
I know better than to act on my sorrow
The comings days will be fine,
A few weeks of apologetic bliss,
I know you'll keep crossing my boundary line,
But **** I crave your venomous kiss
May 2, 2025
May 2, 2025 at 10:39 AM UTC
Do I go crazy or have I always been here?
Chaos is the comfort, the peace causes panic
None of it makes sense,
Could I be going manic?
I'm craving a quiet mind,
No thoughts, no racing to save the day, But when I find that comfort?
My insides are in complete disarray
Dec 3, 2024
Dec 3, 2024 at 2:22 AM UTC
I don't know how to start this
But I swear it's ******* with my mind
Cause the way you never miss
And the way it makes me cry
Why's she always first?
And the way you always seem to make it worse
Why can't I just ignore it?
For her I'd just die for it
It makes me sick
It makes me cry
It makes me wish I could denie
Denie the fact that she's important
To repair your broken comportment
I hate your jokes
I hate my life
It's tiring me
It makes me die
And yet I always seem to come back trying
Trying to keep myself from falling
Into that deep cage again
Where I never seem to be the same
And I love her
I really do
But your indecisive way of being "you"
Makes my mind go back again
To the place I've always fell
And I tired to ignore it
Annoyed I avoided
Avoided my feelings
Desperate to cover the grave
Where I hid my toxic trait.
Nov 20, 2024
Nov 20, 2024 at 1:49 AM UTC
You ask me to get dinner
So casually I almost didn't hear it
And the chemistry is there
And you're waiting for my yes
But all I do is stare
In my head he tells me to go
But my heart is screaming no
You asked me to get dinner
So casually I chose not to hear it
And the chemistry is there
And yeah we could be a match
But I wouldn't dare
In my head he tells me to go
But his heart is all I want to know
Sep 6, 2024
Sep 6, 2024 at 3:40 AM UTC
On the verge of yes,
More likely I'll say no
Constantly increasing the distance,
Never quite letting go
Always wearing a tight lipped smile,
Even when I'm feeling blue
No sense in letting them know,
There's nothing anyone can do
Aug 25, 2024
Aug 25, 2024 at 7:17 PM UTC
Closing off all I can't decide
Gotta lock myself inside
Feb 17, 2024
Feb 17, 2024 at 4:58 AM UTC
Indecision dances in the mind's embrace,
A tangled web of choices to chase.
Between the paths, uncertain we sway,
Seeking clarity to light our way.
Aug 12, 2023
Aug 12, 2023 at 11:18 AM UTC
It’s not fun
reinsuring
my position with you,
looking from my view,
when those feelings
became one sided.
It’s not fun
accepting
those false facts about how
you’ve done a full 360 change,
not realizing
you’ve fallen back into the same space.
It’s not fun
watching
you go back and forth
with your state of mind
when you simply can’t
decide on what you want.
Sep 7, 2022
Sep 7, 2022 at 12:20 AM UTC
Veins blue and icy
In a hot body, melting
Then frozen again
Jan 22, 2021
Jan 22, 2021 at 10:55 AM UTC
i have struggled to make decisions
all my life
so they’ve always been made for me
what i wear
what haircut i have
what i eat
indecisiveness has always been
my worst enemy
but i chose you
and that’s the only choice
that i am sure of
the decision was mine
nobody made it for me
i own it.
Dec 31, 2020
Dec 31, 2020 at 12:01 AM UTC
one day anxiety will devour me whole and spit me back, shivering and still unsure
Sep 26, 2020
Sep 26, 2020 at 6:29 PM UTC
I have come to realize that the hardest thing
to do is not picking out an option from two that
are very similar in nature, but rather putting myself first.
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020 at 7:41 AM UTC
I circle the store at least three times, every time I go.
I can never make up my mind.
Usually Trader Joe will ask me if I'm OK,
Or if he can help me find anything.
Usually I'll lie and say I'm fine,
Squinting intently at the array of fresh greens
But today I asked him..
How can I decide which fruit is the sweetest?
Does it matter where it came from?
Does it matter if an onion is red, or yellow, or "sweet"
If they all will make me cry?
What's the difference between a fig and a date?
How come I can never find either of them?
If swiss chard is so good for you,
Why does it taste so bad going down?
Why do beans make you farty?
How is that a "magic fruit?"
Why is everyone blind to the lie
That carrots make your eyesight better?
Is it toe-may-toe or toe-mat-toe?
Poe-tay-toe or poe-tat-toe?
Does it matter?
Does any of this matter?
He replied, "Ma'am, my name isn't Joe. I don't know. I just work here.. and they definitely don't pay me enough for this."
So I left with an empty bag, and a heavy mind.
Jun 8, 2020
Jun 8, 2020 at 7:39 PM UTC
I kept a quarter in a drawer next to my bed
for when I made decisions that hurt my head
where each choice came at great cost to my sanity
so I flipped a quarter to cheapen the price to twenty-five cents
and I said it's just common sense keeping innocence
but it's ignorance and guiltlessness that I wanted for me.
When a quarter felt too heavy I moved on to a dime
because it was lighter than its cost and fit my indecisive crime
but I find I tossed it too high and couldn't always catch it
so it clattered to the floor and rolled beneath my dresser
and maybe if I left it there, my decision-making stressor
would disappear like the dime then I could quit
Yet decisions kept on coming and so a nickel would have to do
five-cent choices should be worth less than dimes too
and yet again, I couldn't bear the weight of my choice.
So instead I flipped two pennies, to get my two cents in.
One landed heads, the other tails, and I still have a decision.
I can't keep flipping coins to replace my voice.
My treasure trove of choices worth less than the ones before
because they're all plastic, made so I don't have to endure
the weight of cost so I selfishly kept on flipping
all these coins and kept on wishing they would never land.
Fifty-fifty, leave my choice to chance, take it out of my hand.
If my coins never land, then my decisions cost me nothing.
Jun 10, 2020
Jun 10, 2020 at 10:02 AM UTC
the hardest fight to win
is the one that is forever raging
an inch never taking
no man's land is your residence
you can only proceed with hesitance
as this battle your fighting is you against you
and its filled with dissonance
turbulent thoughts
eddy flows and countercurrent desires
your mind is afloat in a sea of indecision
waiting for a vision
of clarity
Where is my north star?
My guiding light
to help me on my mission
to make this decision
I keep wrestling with my ambition
and my desire for submission
to my guilty side
unobliging
not hiding
never shying
from the chance to take all my time
and burn it with relaxation
a win for the soul but a loss for the mind
why sleep now when I have the rest of time?
but never slowing will the dim the glowing
of the creative ember lighting the way
and you never want to see that day
when it fades away
so take your time, let your stress wash away
let the good times play
maybe even pray?
Life is there tomorrow
you are here today
May 13, 2020
May 13, 2020 at 1:48 PM UTC
May God show me the way
for I fled to the edge where I lost my way,
where I am surrounded with logs.
come and rescue me
among the mist of my heart
where they call I have to listen.
does it really talk?
Does it talk with it palpation,
maybe the bathing of blood?
come and rescue me
from the secrets of my heart
as I burn from the high volts of my heart.
come and rescue me
where I needed you I discarded you
I chose my ways away from you.
your etiquette I left alone with biting cold
where grass leeches every page
of your scripture.
I am tamed a sinner as I failed
to tame my tongue as your etiquette
stated .
come and rescue me
for my heart ekes me out.
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 10:44 AM UTC
Torn between choices
Move forward or go back home
Which one up to you
Apr 16, 2020
Apr 16, 2020 at 12:31 AM UTC
there’s a lot of things
drifting in my mind,
and the right words to justify them
I can’t seem to find.
there's a lot of questions
with answers I have yet to seek,
I see choices around
but troubled to pick.
then there's this heart and mind
which quarrels every time,
now lost in thoughts
I'm torn in which to side.
Apr 9, 2020
Apr 9, 2020 at 11:27 AM UTC
you are so sweet
yet so bad for me
you taste so secretive
so deliciously mine
but you're only a recipe
for a broken heart
no matter how many times
i put you on my tongue
you drench it in your savoury promises
that you'll never keep
leaving me empty
with desire
and somehow, i can never say
'no'
Jan 27, 2020
Jan 27, 2020 at 11:47 PM UTC