#inarticulate
I
keep
leaving
cues
that
no-one
picks
up;
like
autumn
leaves
in
the
wind;
lost
Aug 17, 2020
Aug 17, 2020 at 10:11 AM UTC
I find myself looking for words.
Combinations of feeling
I did not know existed.
I cannot breathe.
I struggle for them
& make myself a fool.
The world was so big before I met you
& now I'm grasping for it,
unable to recall it's delusion
as I am pulled into your orbit.
Out of drifting dreams.
My mind goes blank
& all I can see
is the dark galaxy that is you.
Alien, beautiful & natural.
You haunt me.
I nearly never believed so big,
& you infiltrated this complex defense
to show me what's been missing.
Half crazed by the loneliness of space
I cannot articulate.
Another form of art I hesitate to express.
I do not trust myself
that it will not be perfect,
fluid,
each stroke of the tongue
like the brush fear failure.
I want to show you all I see
beneath the stars.
Let the brilliance of the moon shine through.
But she is stuck.
In the cloud of curious awareness,
my eloquence cripples me.
How many things can I say
before I lose my grace?
& I dread
the company of simple minds
who cannot love stories.
So eager,
your patience holds the hand of the clock.
I want to watch your eyes glow
lit up by the music from my lips,
& I want to be carried off
by all you reminisce.
I can't believe in chance
when a soul like yours comes to court.
Thrice even.
I am challenged by the core of you.
Inquiry.
Things I cannot see
& stopped looking for.
If I take no notice,
I will not be seen.
Drawn into someone else's dreams,
Abandoning me.
I forgot how to identify
with my kind
so that I did not lose me.
Then I rusted over.
The great machine locked away
while the shows went on
in Technicolor.
Introspective
losing passion & luster inside this shell.
How you found me,
only body in forum.
You took me out to play.
Engaged, stalled, oiled & sparked
Life.
I am reminded of a better me.
An affirmation,
of my Dominant heart.
His voice,
the coaxing in my womb to Be.
Away with closed up, dying to shine.
You wanted to show me off,
pretty girl.
I remember being a Goddess
& shattering the abyss around me
with heart & raw warmth.
The fire of honesty.
Unsatiated wander bred in me
& I held nothing back.
Now the world is clay
& my garden to build upon.
Train me to grow.
I am inspired to be stardust.
Permeate every corner of this heavenly body.
I find myself the eager student of Aquarius.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 1:50 AM UTC
The mind
Contains much more
Than the tongue
Tries to convey.
The heart
Knows such sensations
That the mouth
Could never say.
Jun 8, 2015
Jun 8, 2015 at 2:34 PM UTC
I’ve written
Countless words
To you
Attempting to relate
The extent of my feelings
For you
Only to throw them
All away,
Inadequate
Lacking
Empty.
Those words couldn’t
Make you feel
The way my heart races
When I hear
Your voice
Or the ache at the
Back of my throat
And the salty sting
Of tears
Overflowing
When you tell me
You’re in pain
Those words couldn’t
Make you see
All the times
I’ve laid awake at night
Hoping that maybe
You would call
Or all the days
That I’ve spent
Staring through windows
Wondering how I could
Make you happy
When your days turn gray.
Those words couldn’t
Bring you
Any closer to me,
Though I desperately
Wish that they would
And they
Could never, ever
Tell you how
I love you
The way that I could
Show you.
Mar 8, 2015
Mar 8, 2015 at 10:55 PM UTC