#inadequate
No one deserves
To fall asleep
At night
Wondering why
They weren't enough
Dec 21, 2025
Dec 21, 2025 at 6:21 AM UTC
When you kissed me
I tasted him on your lips
You didnt say it
But I knew:
I was always just backup
Jul 14, 2025
Jul 14, 2025 at 12:35 AM UTC
(song)
I'm only human
I am not perfect...
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it...
Yeah, I'm only human
I'm only human
Sometimes I don't wanna carry on with this life another day, but that ain't the thing to say, at least not out loud anyway
My carry on is baggage and part of me but can't stay? I need it to remind myself what had hurt me along the way
It's completely intertwined with my destiny, seemingly by design, forged by my raw history gone astray
So not by the fire burning within per say but rather by a flame that got carried away, lighting up my dismay
Not a phoenix, no rising from the ashes, I just claimed them as my own then created a home
A collection of stone after stone thrown in my direction become the cornerstone of the foundation I raised all alone
Harvest my own backbone to support the load, structural integrity is homegrown
Get blown down, just rebuild, try to hone my skill to out will what I've sown
I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
I don't know what you expect of me
Yeah, I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
Understand all I can be is just me
**** and moan, scream and cry to an empty auditorium, my lithium battery drained and I don't know where to go get some from
All thumbs and numb, fumbled the mission, what's done is done, can't be undone, self reflection is no fun so I play dumb
When reality hit it stung, my demon won, a surprise to no one, all attempts to enter the ring ended with me caught up in the top wrung
Can't predict the future but I see the inevitable outcome, only one lonely track on this self titled album
Said track is a sad song, repeat stuck in the on position and so loud I didn't get off stage at the sound of the gong
Not only did I play the biggest part of my downfall but tragedy overshadowed comedy in this parity type sitcom
I can pin point precisely when and where it all went wrong but can't explain why I kept on this particular path for so long
Prayed for help then buried my head in the sand before it came along, popped up only to find it already gone
I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
I don't know what you expect of me
Yeah, I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
What you see is the only me I can be
I'm only human, yeah, I'm only human
I'm only human, yeah, I don't feel human
...what am I doin'?
I slip and trip more often than not, trapped in the web of a side plot, main story got lost in the shuffle, it happens a lot
Forgot to implement basic self maintenance leading to rot spreading to every thought
So I question the thought that I ought not lower my defenses, got caught in the in between, can't connect, lost a dot
Struggled with the day to day, fought just to get to a level playing field, all for naught
Yes, it was me, I did it, I hit the self destruction button too quick but it didn't say elimination, it was simply labeled quit
No mention of a death certificate or that it would make the feelings of my inadequate existence permanent
I couldn't keep my whits about me, lost sight of what was important, my insecurities the culprit
Don't think for one moment though that attention is why I did it, it most certainly isn't
I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
I don't know what you expect of me
Yeah, I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
What it is you see in me
Responsibly taken, still forsaken, got front row seats to my damnation but it's a rerun that I'm tired of watchin'
Internalized everything behind blue eyes, an examination taken place with no follow up explanation given, why are the results always hidden but lurkin' right outside my field of vision
The implosion of my life left a broken man child chokin' on the pieces left and your sinister laugh proves you think I'm jokin' or just enjoyin' what you're seein'
The implication bein' that there's no salvation, no savin', tried on the shoe and continue to wear it, it fits to perfection
Pretend not to listen so you can't be guilted into any type of action at all, and so you're not looked at as responsible
And that's reasonable, you let out a little nervous laugh and giggle cause it makes you feel uncomfortable
And that's just a small taste compared to my mouth full, out of mind, out of sight not possible
The blowback was powerful, not mindful of everything I don't know, what I do know now is I was never in full control
I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
I don't know what you expect of me
Yeah, I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
This isn't the me I want to be
I'm only human, yeah, I'm only human
I'm only human, yeah, I don't feel human
...define being human?
©2022
May 3, 2022
May 3, 2022 at 4:17 PM UTC
reaching what you feel is unlimited potential,
trusting that you’re the main character of
your story—
you’re disavowed by actuality.
there is more in believing, trying, doing—
you are love and light and concise metaphor.
sometimes salt-soaked irreverence
in the face of reality. Scraping,
laughing, yearning.
All that you’ve accomplished with a smile
and full heart is yours.
You are inadequate and whole.
Nov 21, 2021
Nov 21, 2021 at 5:53 AM UTC
Riding the lightning, too ground
the calamity and crashing, of sound
a piece of my soul
a flame, burning coal
heart and soul somehow
bound
Twixt the rising of lust
the rain and the thunder, a must
each crescendo of sense
no bars, and no fence
and always, a matter
of trust
Blood is, simply too thin
to end and begin, again
electrical fires
the simple desires
as even poetry
can never
attain
May 24, 2021
May 24, 2021 at 10:40 PM UTC
Keep your diary
Full with the stupid **** I've said
and tell me you're too good for it
Mar 13, 2021
Mar 13, 2021 at 10:13 AM UTC
I wasn't sure at what point
my feelings of
inadequacy and failure
would penetrate the boundaries
of my thoughts and
manifest themselves in a physical way
which scare not only the strangers
that pass me on the street
and see my now skeletal body
but also those I love the most.
Feb 22, 2021
Feb 22, 2021 at 6:46 PM UTC
Help me to be unafraid of that armed and brutal introspection that marches ever closer, advancing, just ahead,
Walk me to the entrance of that terrible twilight, then allow me never again to be led,
Make me the captain of my sorrow and yearning, I am the rightful heir to my own head,
Permit me be bold in my eternal learning, let me sever my loosening inadequacy thread.
Feb 9, 2021
Feb 9, 2021 at 7:03 PM UTC
daughters of pageant queens
like them you
want
me
to
be
i come from a broken gallery
on display for
no
one
to
see
Nov 13, 2020
Nov 13, 2020 at 10:57 AM UTC
Everything feels like nothing, and nothing starts to feel like everything.
Everyday. Everyday as I wake up,
Nothing ever beats the feeling of inadequacy.
Inadequacy to do good
Inadequacy as a daughter
Inadequacy as a student
Inadequacy as a person
Inadequacy in feeling good within my own body
Inadequacy from feeling good about myself.
Everyday feels like an endless loop, you best believe my misery hunts me.
But what is inadequacy?
Is it scarcity? Deficiency? Insufficiency? A lack thereof?
Is it this mindless blob, formless and dark or a mangled form of flesh, eating away at you and your insecurities?
Like a virus, it pins you, goes deep inside you and there is never enough antibiotic for you...
This inadequacy keeps me up at ungodly hours where the sun howls and moon chirps, the clouds look at us, feigning interest, idly looking but never interacting.
This inadequacy lulls me in irregular fever dreams where comfort lies in solitude and loneliness,
where the people that surround you, cover their ears, bites their cheek, looks forwards, smiles faintly, but never tries to understanding.
My heart wails for the smallest of things. Nothing, nothing becomes everything.
My successes make me feel less, still. Everything, everything becomes nothing.
I am this inadequate thing, floating around, never seeming to be enough.
Inadequate. Because i could not protect myself from those who touch my skin like its free real estate, those clammy hands holding me in a state
A state of frenzy that never seems to end
Inadequate. That no matter what I do, my past will forever haunt me and define the being I am now that no matter how much I change, and try and try and try to do good, it will never be
enough.
And those same voices, those same people, they say they scream they tell me,
“You should have told me.”
“You should have fought back.”
“You are a waste of time.”
“You are dumb.”
“You are nothing.”
“You waste your talents for something as this,”
And those same people, let go of words
That back then would have meant nothing
But now it seems to be everything
It becomes my identity
It becomes my oxygen
It becomes the blood that circulates in my body
It becomes the endorphins in my brain
Nothing becomes everything. And everything that I’ve tried to change, worked hard to achieve, tried to mend, was sorry for, starts to become nothing.
But I am tired of feeling like nothing. That everything I do is always inadequate. That it is some form of scarcity, deficiency, insufficiency, a lack thereof.
These mindless blobs, or mangled forms of flesh,
Like a virus, it pins me, goes deep inside me and there is never enough antibiotic for me...
Because instead of listening, to understand, to empathize, they listen so they can jeopardize...
Whatever love is left that I could give to myself,
Without a shred of doubt,
In a warm, bright embrace for myself, in a corner slouched.
So, I ask these voices, who are only here to remind how inadequate I am:
How do I fight back?
How do I be good enough?
How do I become less dumb?
How do I make nothing stay as nothing? And appreciate everything as everything?
Because day by day, this inadequacy I feel, gets really tiring.
Sep 18, 2020
Sep 18, 2020 at 1:26 PM UTC
three inches --
that's how far away you are from a corset that cinches.
so close, yet so far...
you aren't up to standards, you aren't up to par.
beauty is in the eye of the beholder --
hell, you'll be even more grotesque as you get older.
words cut deeply from those you care for...
i'm sorry that i can't be your perfect little *****
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020 at 8:42 PM UTC
i will need to learn
how to stop hurting
over the things
that i will never be
it is hard sometimes
for wounds to heal
when you keep
picking at them
and i am all wounds
and no scars
open and burning
festering with decay
i have tried so hard
to be the type
that is bright
and radiant with light
i never realized
how much i have ached
for something
that cannot be
a life that is spent
wasted on inadequacy
i will never learn
how to be worthy
May 6, 2020
May 6, 2020 at 10:38 AM UTC
Someday, they'll burry my grave, long after the ink and parchment have faded.
Long after my thoughts have longsince passed into the undying lands.
I just hope that my neices don't have to burry me
Which is why now I search for a new family.
Sep 1, 2019
Sep 1, 2019 at 3:51 PM UTC
I am justly inadequate
no one knows my name
the strangers I pass by
all treat me just the same.
They never ask about my day
or if I feel okay,
we all look on in silence
repeating yesterday.
I am justly inadequate
I work hard to be not enough
my conscience is never heavy
but my heart isn't up to *****
My hands are warm and loving,
callused, hard and rough,
a willing heart without a reason
just never has been enough.
I am justly inadequate
I stare out windows thinking that
if I could just be someone else
then I would get a chance
to be the man I could have been
but as I am, I know I can't.
I am justly inadequate
no one knows my name.
And every time I try to laugh
I can only muster shame.
I try to smile,
once in a while,
to trick the gloom away,
but I still know that I am
inadequate any day.
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 3:48 AM UTC
It was never my fear that, upon first seeing me,
She would deem me inadequate and reject me entirely right there and then.
It was the coming thunder,
When formalities are finished and our feelings are confirmed,
Where she thinks herself content with my company,
That shook me to my foundation with anxiety.
I cannot help but think,
That even in contentment,
A seed of doubt may find fertile soil in her heart,
And sprout a sudden longing,
A quiet panging,
Which reverberates through the days that grow longer and longer in length,
With each echo leaving a more and more profound impression.
And when this panging starts to get louder,
Until it is akin to church bells in her heart,
It will rouse her from her sleep-like state of contentment,
And have her find that something feels a bit off.
At first, she will not be able to put her finger on it,
But slowly she figures it out;
My images of her set in marble turn into plastic,
Lines of poetry begin to smudge as if written in cheap ink,
Letters begin to fox with its yellowing paper feeling dated to the touch.
And she suddenly realizes in the midst of others,
That this is not enough for happiness.
And then, by chance,
She misplaces a single glance,
Only to find something new
Something beyond contentment and I.
The skies begin to darken and grey storm clouds roll in,
And the thunder strikes,
Bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk
Perkodhuskurunbarggruauyagokgorlayorgromgremmitghundhurthrumathunaradidillifaititillibumullunukkunun
This, I fear above all else.
Feb 2, 2019
Feb 2, 2019 at 1:40 AM UTC
I had always imagined your heart to be tiny,
Small like a hummingbird's.
Not because you were incapable of love,
But because you had the capacity for so much of it.
It fluttered at the briefest of glances
And jumped at the slightest of touches.
So fast did your heart beat that I had often mistaken you for dead
When I would wrap my hands around your throat.
You ran and you called and you pleaded
But no one could hear your little heart.
Even as it stuttered frantically
Against your rib cage, brittle as paper.
No one wants to love a quiet heart.
And so I took it and strung it on a chain of gold
So it could sit silently atop my own heart.
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 3:57 PM UTC
Well what can I say
I'm not her
I don't have her warm eyes
Her thin waist
Her cute laugh
Her smart brain
I'm not perfect like her
I'm not even close
I lack her sense of peace
And her immense love
I don't dream like her
See like her
I will never be like her
What more can I say
I'll never be beautiful or perfect
Never see clear or pure
I've ruined my chances of happiness in this world
And how can I blame you
She dances in the light
And I dwell here in darkness out of sight
She is all that is good and right in this world
And I'm all you should fear
So go ahead
Get out of here
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 1:24 AM UTC
There's a feeling at the back of my mind and gut.
Running in place creating my own rut.
I reach out but it's just not enough.
All my aspirations gone in a puff.
To say it's a deep dark pit is unjust.
It's a weight filling my empty husk.
Failed expectations and dreams.
What does any of this even mean.
I run down a path that I make up as I go.
Uncertainty is the only real lover I know.
"Do xyz and your hopes will unfold".
My, what a lie we've all been sold.
Oct 17, 2018
Oct 17, 2018 at 12:13 PM UTC
Hating you both would be easier than acting like I just don’t care.
I don’t think breaking down would change your mind, even if I cried until tears drowned us, and you would still look at me in disgust.
It’s all I want to do though.
Hearing her name reminds me how little I am compared to her, how much more she glows.
I don’t have humour like she always has.
I’m not as tall or as appealing.
I am just an embodiment of discontent, never happy with less than a victory.
I will be in your way, until I can’t see the beauty in your eyes.
I should hate you for more reasons, for being my ruin and yet never having to look god in the eye for what you did.
I cannot. I never could.
I don’t even want to kiss you.
I just want your body holding mine.
I just want your body holding mine.
I don’t even want to kiss you.
I just want your body holding mine.
If I was allowed to scream, I would.
But I made no promises.
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 4, 2018 at 6:07 PM UTC
Another day, another to-do list
Two pages long, fists start to clench
Endless effort, you do your best
And at the end of the day, some are left unchecked.
You say: “I must do better tomorrow,
I should have gotten more done,
I really tried my hardest,
But I only finished some.”
A day full of work, but the tension remains
Your clenched fists aren’t relieved
Saying “only, but, should” and “must”
Only minimize what was achieved.
Perfection is ideal, but not attainable
And that is okay.
Do what you can, but take care of yourself.
Tomorrow’s a new day.
Apr 14, 2018
Apr 14, 2018 at 10:56 PM UTC
Flight
When things get tough
My first instinct is to run.
Run away for a while,
Because I am weak.
I can't handle the life I was given
Or the cards that were played.
Fight
My mind is not calm,
And my temper is short.
I have this tendancy of blowing up
When I just need to take a breath.
Terrible wife, imperfect mother,
Is there anything I'm good at?
I'm hardly adequate.
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 26, 2018 at 8:58 PM UTC
O, loving silver moon
I come with one dark wish
I do not wish to die
But I don't want to exist
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 1:35 PM UTC
Have you ever had that feeling of being inadequate?
Feeling like nothing is ever going to change? Same old, same old.
You want things to change, but they never do.
It makes you sicker and sicker for each passing minute.
That's exactly how I feel, and how do you keep you hopes up, your mood or anything for that matter?
Of course there is a lot to be grateful for, but when you are feeling so down, so hopeless, so alone and like such a failure... it's hard to appreciate anything at all.
It's all my faulth, because there is so much more I can do.
I just feel like I don't have the energy, guts or confidence to try, and feeling like that only backfires on me.
How do I get the strength to be who I am, do what I want and live as I lust, in a world that tells us who we should be, how we should look, how we should think and tells us how we should live?
People who are able to do that, are one of the courageous people in the world.
We're lucky enough to be able to live as good as we do, and then we make stress for ourselves on things that don't really matter.
You have to do this or that to look pretty and stay young as long as possible.
We create needs that weren't even there to begin with.
We make them life essentials, when they're really far from it.
It's a ****** up world that kills the freespirited mind and makes us all live in cages.
Cages where everything is already decided, and if you don't measure up, then you fail as a humanbeing.
The truth is you fail more following the norm. You fail more not following you heart.
You fail more not seeing the world as it is, and doing what you can to make a difference.
You fail yourself being a coward. You fail your life. You fail the world.
You fail.
If you really feel like a failure, reflect upon how you are living your life and analyze if you are living for you, or for those who want to hold you captive...
The minute you stop just blindly following the crowd, is the minute you stop failing and start succeeding.
Feb 2, 2017
Feb 2, 2017 at 9:47 AM UTC