#ilussion
What is your happy place?
A person?
An animal?
Your family or friends?
An actual place?
For me is an ilussion
Something made up
Non existing
I scape trought my toughts and fantasies
Im with my love
Hes happy. Happier than he has ever been.
He had tons of issues
Anxiety, depression, lonelines
...emptyness
Just to say a few...
He's showing me that IT DOES GETS BETTER
His smile is unique.
Pure.
He's not in the void anymore
He's happy.
And I'm happy when I'm with him.
It's amazing how something unreal can free you for a while
Then you remember the real world
A ****** up world
A world without him
And you try to fight back the reality and be strong for yourself and others
You keep holding on until you feel that it is getting better
And you are finally free
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 27, 2019 at 8:41 PM UTC
You came into my life and messed it all up.
In every sense of the word.
You ****** me up, you took my heart away with you the day you left, the day you left with no intention of coming back, the day you left me alone crying my eyes out, you left me with all this mess, you left me with this catastrophe of person that I am, and since that day, after everything, you still have my heart, you still own my heart.
You came into my life and messed it all up.
I feel physically hurt to the point I hear your name and all the 206 bones of my body break into hundreds of pieces, and Im not strong enough to bring them back together again.
You came into my life and messed it all up.
It hurts, it ******* does, every **** second of the day, and it sure hurts as hell hearing that out loud.
It hurts that I can't sleep without you next to me.
It hurts that I forgot how to breath when you are not near me.
It hurts, it ******* does.
You messed me all up
You did
-J
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 11:41 AM UTC
Eres una ilusión;
un perfecto retrato
creado por mi imaginación.
May 28, 2015
May 28, 2015 at 8:39 PM UTC
I want your arms around me again.
I want to feel the adrenaline I felt that night when you kissed me for the first time in that old sofa.
I want to feel your body near mine we can hardly breath.
I want to feel the passion we both had at making each other laugh even when we were mad.
I want you to come home every sunday at 1am like you used to and talk until we fell asleep.
I want our conversations back.
I want your kisses back.
I want your hands back.
I want to make you feel loved again.
I want to feel loved by you again.
I want you to drive me insane like you used to.
I want your touch in my cold skin.
I want to share my favorite songs with you.
I want you.
I want us.
-J
Oct 21, 2014
Oct 21, 2014 at 2:33 AM UTC
Its 2:15am and I can't sleep.
I've been thinking about nothing, I have nothing in my head.
But at the time I'm writing this I'm catching myself thinking about you.
Your thoughts at this time of the dark, the ones that keep you awake all night, are the ones that really matter?
Thinking about you is keeping me awake, do you really matter? Or I'm just being a fool?
I shot my eyes to sleep, and I'm dreaming of you, of us , something that doesn't really exist.
Am I being a fool?
I wake up and I'm thinking of you.
You are on my thoughts every **** second.
You are chaos to my heart.
I think I'm going insane.
Am I being a fool?
Am I??
-J
Oct 19, 2014
Oct 19, 2014 at 1:48 AM UTC
Every night in my sleep I remember his last touch on my cold body. The words he told me when he was laying next to me, hearing his breathing closer and closer like if we were the only human beings in this messed up world, and the only background music was his heart beating faster and faster.
Every night in my sleep I remember our last kiss, the last conversation, even the last song we heard.
Evey night in my sleep when the memories come, I don't feel like wanting to go back, the only thing I don't remember is me loving him the way he loved me.
When I woke up I didn't missed him.
Then I realized I was in love with the idea of someone being that close to me, to the idea of someone making me feel something again.
I guess the only thing I remembered was that I forgot to love.
-J
Oct 18, 2014
Oct 18, 2014 at 3:36 PM UTC