#illfated
The small black wristband
Affixed to my wrist.
It used to bother me so
Every time I noticed my forearm.
But not because
I chose this little fate.
But for the reason that all those around
Stare down at it too.
I suppose they find it strange
To chose one such ending.
So much so,
It's become what's defined me.
And I stay somewhat stranded
In my lonely little world
Of impending doom
And misunderstanding.
Lately, however,
I've tried to socialize,
But I'd like to make it clear I said "tried".
I met a boy
But he was different by being the same.
Matching friendship bracelets,
He likes to say.
I guess it means we both die our own way.
To chose is something not many
Concur to.
This boy I quite favor,
And I think he does too.
At times we lay together
In the echo of machines.
He tells me my hair is soft
As he combs through it mindlessly.
I'm sorry I can't return the compliment.
The small black wristbands
Affixed to our wrists.
It used to bother me so
But now I mind less.
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 10:34 PM UTC
Dostoyevsky said, “your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing.”
I've felt rage seething in my chest for as long as I can remember. I've felt as his talons ripped open my sternum, digging for a place to call home. this rage has nestled deep into my ribcage, devouring my will to survive while carelessly residing within my nightmares.
I've surrendered to this forsaken depression fury has vacated deep in the confines of my irises - despite witnessing myself across grey-tinted glasses; a smoldering storm rippling miasma throughout my body, manipulating my hands into a devout pyromaniac; suffocating every chance to heal.
I've known nothing but bitterness congesting my heart. My dreams were burdened dreadfully with the stench of wrath. it mutilated my arms; burrowing into capillaries, and asphyxiating my habit to vanish.
This incessant sin I've endured has brought me to my knees, existing only to ***** out my ability to be a mortal in an unforgiving universe. I am not a cosmic metaphor, the iron residing underneath my skin has become impenetrable.
I am adorned with stillness while this betrayal has bloomed into a supernova. the things in which I lack have ignited into an endlessly violent explosion -
Atomizing my bones, swirling stardust into a forlorn emptiness.
A world that was held by the unfaltering resistance I persevered against, it has ravaged my memories, my moribund existence trembled; shivering from the growl of the recoil - the remnants of creation kissed abysmal lips within the faraway distance of a boundless abyss, raining tears for the last time as the destruction leaves a life void of meaning.
The last words ever heard in this universe spoke softly as if to lull the existential bereft into a long hiatus -
"This was all for nothing, just as destitute as this vacant nothingness, human life is ill-fated to be star-crossed and powerless."
Sep 25, 2024
Sep 25, 2024 at 6:51 PM UTC
at that beach, you found me
under the sun, I discerned you
we were still young
when we made this paper boat
and espied our tomorrows
I still remember what you said;
"we will stand and shout because we're free,
while breathing in fresh air from the sea
we will forget all the hurdles until we feel better
while sharing thoughts to each other
until we both reach the place
where this boat will stop
until we both sink
when our boat fades "
but this is just a paper boat
that will never float
because we're not destined to do those things together
maybe our fate is to ride different boats
until we find our true lover
Sep 21, 2019
Sep 21, 2019 at 11:29 PM UTC