#ihatethis
Happy birthday to me.
I wish I were hanging from a tree.
Sep 14, 2020
Sep 14, 2020 at 5:43 PM UTC
My face says it all, you did it again.
Yet knowing you had the right intentions, you still left me alone to wake up by myself.
I cried myself to sleep for the first Time in a long while, and I was alone to endure it all.
Nothing can be forgiven at this point, I’m beyond hurt.
I’m beyond shattered and the one person who wasn’t suppose to do that, ended up doing it anyways.
I crave you, I love you, I adore you, I need you just as much as I need him.
At least he was there to comfort me in my dreams, you left again..
Aug 28, 2020
Aug 28, 2020 at 3:46 AM UTC
Yes, I am sensitive,
And you know this
Ever since 'then' I haven't been the same
But you still
Say hurtful things
I can't help but ask:
Must I leave?
I've tried before and
I can only assume that
You don't or you didn't
Want me to go through with it.
Kind of hard to tell,
Your constant yelling and threats
were hard to decipher
But now, you put
These situations in my head
And I can't help but feel
Unwanted
I feel like a big baby,
And not the adorable kind
My voice becoming more
And more whiny and annoying
To my ears
That's why I refuse to rebut
I don't want to hear her voice
I feel like I'm
Locking a promise
Deep in the centre
Of my rapidly beating heart
A promise to go
A promise that'll make sure
That you won't need to insult
Or reprimand me again
But then I think of you
Being the one blamed
For my departing
For pushing me to the brink of insanity
I can't help but
agree with such
accusations
I think I might leave
Or I might chicken out again
My point is,
You knew and still know
I wish you didn't
So that this promise
Wouldn't be locked so tightly
Aug 23, 2020
Aug 23, 2020 at 11:17 AM UTC
My "forever"
lasted only 4 months
My "I will never leave you"
left me.
My "I will always be there"
wasn't there when I needed him most.
My "I promise"
broke his promise.
My "I will never hurt you"
hurt me real bad.
My "I love you"
stopped loving me.
My "everything"
turned to nothing.
My "You can trust me"
B
R
O
K
E
MY
HEART.
Jan 22, 2020
Jan 22, 2020 at 8:11 AM UTC
I'm sorry.
I wish I hadn't said what I said.
I can see that you're trying.
I know you've changed.
I want my room back.
I want my home back.
I want my family to be pieced back together.
I miss feeling useful.
I haven't felt anything but sad since I left.
I need that light back in my life.
I want to cry but
I have to stop the tears.
I hate being apart from you.
I just want to go home.
Jan 6, 2018
Jan 6, 2018 at 9:18 PM UTC
Alone
In a dark
Quiet room,
She lies on the floor.
Guilt swirling through her mind.
"But I'm better," she lies to herself.
The dusty mirror begs to differ
The voices in her head don't approve.
She can't stop thinking about the fat in
Her thighs
Her face,
Her stomach.
She pulls her hair away and
Gives in.
"It won't happen again," she lies to herself.
Alone
In a dark
Quiet room
She lies
In a casket.
Jun 3, 2016
Jun 3, 2016 at 8:41 PM UTC
My bones are dry out of
Fake smiles.
I have nothing left
To give.
You really have nothing to lose when you are
Nothing yourself.
A deep rooted pain in my chest grows from all the times
Nobody cared
If I was okay. Please tell me one more time, "It's just
A phase."
Please tell me that I will grow out
Of it.
Are my scar kissed wrists not
Proof enough.
I'm not
Okay.
Jun 26, 2015
Jun 26, 2015 at 12:17 AM UTC
Heads full of forgotten dreams.
Hearts full of broken hope.
Bones full of lovely aches.
Hands calloused by past lovers.
Arms gently kissed by moonlight.
Eyes glazed over as numbness settles.
Ears ringing with the silence of regret.
Skin torn by the oceans of the world.
You were broken from birth.
Darling it's time
To Rise.
Jun 26, 2015
Jun 26, 2015 at 12:09 AM UTC
I don't want to end my night like this with you
I want you to call me & tell me you love me
I want you to tell me that I'm yours
I want you to come pick me up , fight for me
I want you to love me like I love you
I want you to stay
Baby , that's all I ask .
Dec 24, 2014
Dec 24, 2014 at 9:06 PM UTC
1. what if who they expect, isn't me?
2. or better yet what if i try to be what they expect,
3. and lose track of who i am?
4. would you still love me if i wasn't me?
5. or better yet
6. would you love me even more?
7. if you answer yes to either of them,
8. forgive me for leaving,
9. but how can i stay
10. when the person you love isn't me anymore.
Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014 at 3:13 AM UTC
Sometimes I wonder if I should stop trying
Give up and let them all see my face
The side of me that is selfish
Wants to point them all to my own name.
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 3, 2014 at 11:29 PM UTC
There was something
About the cold metal
Sliding across my
Innocent skin
As it slowly ripped it open,
Like a zipper on a jacket
There was just something about it
That always had me crawling back
To do it once more
-e.w.
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 4:20 PM UTC