#idealization - Hello Poetry

I wonder what songs you play while alone in your car I wonder how you smell doused in your favorite cologne I wonder if you play an instrument - piano, drums, maybe even guitar Curse my inability to spend my days learning you, it’s tearing me apart Because when I look at you, I see all I’d ever dreamed Being with you would cure my wretched heart I’d try every potion and spell, to make you see That being with me would unlock a world beyond your wildest dreams Then again, I hardly know you and you don’t know me Why am I searching for love so far beyond my reach? The perfect boy, a dazzling Don Juan reincarnate I’m a lost puppy, waiting and waiting, holding on to people like a leech. The perfect boy, does such a boy even exist? I’ve been searching for years, it always backfires on me Is it a mere fantasy, a myth, or a wish I can’t resist? Maybe I’m the fool, for believing you’d ever choose me Because while I wonder the qualities that make you you, she knows everything I could ever ponder and more And maybe that’s the cruelest part of all - she’s living the dream I wanted to be Perhaps I was never searching for you at all - only someone to fit the shape of my daydreams And every time reality reached for me, I tore apart at the seams.

0

7d ago

May 27, 2026 at 10:59 PM UTC

justicethepoet86_

The Perfect Boy

I wonder what songs you play while alone in your car I wonder how you smell doused in your favorite cologne I wonder if you play an instrument - piano, drums, maybe even guitar Curse my inability to spend my days learning you, it’s tearing me apart Because when I look at you, I see all I’d ever dreamed Being with you would cure my wretched heart I’d try every potion and spell, to make you see That being with me would unlock a world beyond your wildest dreams Then again, I hardly know you and you don’t know me Why am I searching for love so far beyond my reach? The perfect boy, a dazzling Don Juan reincarnate I’m a lost puppy, waiting and waiting, holding on to people like a leech. The perfect boy, does such a boy even exist? I’ve been searching for years, it always backfires on me Is it a mere fantasy, a myth, or a wish I can’t resist? Maybe I’m the fool, for believing you’d ever choose me Because while I wonder the qualities that make you you, she knows everything I could ever ponder and more And maybe that’s the cruelest part of all - she’s living the dream I wanted to be Perhaps I was never searching for you at all - only someone to fit the shape of my daydreams And every time reality reached for me, I tore apart at the seams.

20

Drifting farther from the shallows, surrounded by waters that taste of salt, convinced that every fracture was entirely my fault. I wear my shame like iron, a heavy, rusted chain, apologizing to you for bleeding in the rain. Shattered glass—something broken, too ruined to be mended, thinking my love wasn’t enough and my capacity had ended. With the shift, my pain curdles, and the salt then turns to fire. I saw you as the architect, the cold and heartless liar. How dare you leave me standing here, a ruin in your wake. How much did you expect a human heart was meant to take? I curse the day I met you, a target for my blame. I’d burn every memory till nothing left remained. Foolishly convincing myself I could forget how your skin tastes, only to end up haunted by your ghost in every stranger’s face. Yet even as the lightning strikes, the storm begins to blur, and I find the precious memories begin to reoccur. Anger slips like water through the fingers of my fist, and I’m reaching for the very thing I swore would not be missed. Plagued by all the things I feel so passionately— guilt from all the chaos, highs and lows I keep repeating, and dragging you along to share the burdens that this curse brings. I realize that many times the battles were not worth it. I’ve made mistakes and punished you at times you didn’t deserve it, expecting that my hurtful words be excused, and then rewarded. Forget the rage, the bitter words, the storms we put ourselves through, all the damage from the “I hate yous” and “I love yous.” I’d do anything to show you that my heart beats only for you. My problem is I’m cursed to run, but my compass only points toward you.

0

Feb 8

Feb 8, 2026 at 11:51 PM UTC

Teraton

I'll share this curse with you.

Drifting farther from the shallows, surrounded by waters that taste of salt, convinced that every fracture was entirely my fault. I wear my shame like iron, a heavy, rusted chain, apologizing to you for bleeding in the rain. Shattered glass—something broken, too ruined to be mended, thinking my love wasn’t enough and my capacity had ended. With the shift, my pain curdles, and the salt then turns to fire. I saw you as the architect, the cold and heartless liar. How dare you leave me standing here, a ruin in your wake. How much did you expect a human heart was meant to take? I curse the day I met you, a target for my blame. I’d burn every memory till nothing left remained. Foolishly convincing myself I could forget how your skin tastes, only to end up haunted by your ghost in every stranger’s face. Yet even as the lightning strikes, the storm begins to blur, and I find the precious memories begin to reoccur. Anger slips like water through the fingers of my fist, and I’m reaching for the very thing I swore would not be missed. Plagued by all the things I feel so passionately— guilt from all the chaos, highs and lows I keep repeating, and dragging you along to share the burdens that this curse brings. I realize that many times the battles were not worth it. I’ve made mistakes and punished you at times you didn’t deserve it, expecting that my hurtful words be excused, and then rewarded. Forget the rage, the bitter words, the storms we put ourselves through, all the damage from the “I hate yous” and “I love yous.” I’d do anything to show you that my heart beats only for you. My problem is I’m cursed to run, but my compass only points toward you.

56

I go to bed each night with your face for reference in my frame of mind to discern musings of how there is no shared connection left between the dreams I have of what could have been over what came to pass I mull over idealized trust while settling into a pillow, only to realize that it was never anything more than a beacon of lust Enough is enough, I've had it up to here with this ******* tragedy, three years and counting, filling the hollow spots with a jagged cup only to perpetuate the savagery of spilling my own blood When will ‘enough’ become a segue to pass through valiantly into new heights? Where credence will alleviate symptoms of infinitely reaching for a reason why I can't find an alternate reality outside of seeing your face when I go to bed each night And after all this torture, I think I might put others on a pedestal so high that enough could never be enough, and after drowning in my violent noise, it seems that in your silence is where I will have to find self-love

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Mar 22, 2025

Mar 22, 2025 at 4:22 AM UTC

return2dust

In Your Silence

I go to bed each night with your face for reference in my frame of mind to discern musings of how there is no shared connection left between the dreams I have of what could have been over what came to pass I mull over idealized trust while settling into a pillow, only to realize that it was never anything more than a beacon of lust Enough is enough, I've had it up to here with this ******* tragedy, three years and counting, filling the hollow spots with a jagged cup only to perpetuate the savagery of spilling my own blood When will ‘enough’ become a segue to pass through valiantly into new heights? Where credence will alleviate symptoms of infinitely reaching for a reason why I can't find an alternate reality outside of seeing your face when I go to bed each night And after all this torture, I think I might put others on a pedestal so high that enough could never be enough, and after drowning in my violent noise, it seems that in your silence is where I will have to find self-love

51

Elusive idealization— I yearn for it, beguiled by its seminal scope. I dig my fingers into its flesh as my past pulls me back in with cold, frayed hands, seeking to drown me in a chamber of oblivion— until the end of time. Or so it seems; as every mirage has its day, and reality is no exception— the construct of constructs we all imagine at once. Regardless of the outcome, I will see you all again under the ground.

0

Oct 31, 2024

Oct 31, 2024 at 12:45 AM UTC

dustindean

Pinpoint

Elusive idealization— I yearn for it, beguiled by its seminal scope. I dig my fingers into its flesh as my past pulls me back in with cold, frayed hands, seeking to drown me in a chamber of oblivion— until the end of time. Or so it seems; as every mirage has its day, and reality is no exception— the construct of constructs we all imagine at once. Regardless of the outcome, I will see you all again under the ground.

17

It was not me who you loved. It was not me who you saw, but rather the mirror you put before me. It was not my voice you heard, but rather your own echo. The mirror you held between us was fragile. Slowly it began to crack. Each time I held you closer, the mirror began to disintegrate. The more the mirror began to break, The more you saw me. But you cannot stand to not stare at your own reflection. As the mirror shattered, so did my heart. You picked up the chards and threw them to my skin. For you do not see the blood coursing through my veins, but rather the lack of yourself. For it was not me who you loved, but rather your mirror.

0

Jun 17, 2022

Jun 17, 2022 at 3:06 PM UTC

victoria-steelman

Broken Mirror.

It was not me who you loved. It was not me who you saw, but rather the mirror you put before me. It was not my voice you heard, but rather your own echo. The mirror you held between us was fragile. Slowly it began to crack. Each time I held you closer, the mirror began to disintegrate. The more the mirror began to break, The more you saw me. But you cannot stand to not stare at your own reflection. As the mirror shattered, so did my heart. You picked up the chards and threw them to my skin. For you do not see the blood coursing through my veins, but rather the lack of yourself. For it was not me who you loved, but rather your mirror.

22

It's harder for my lungs to open up to new air when you're here than when you're not After all your presence takes all the space I used to shape to fit my own self my own taste Instead you force me into a mold you've created Force my body to fit my mind to submit my patience to coexist with things I never wanted A life not made for me I'm just one of your mannequins to pass the time when people disappoint you life doesn't go your way your choices don't matter so that you can shape me into your own frustrations and smother my essence I'm just one of your mannequins and now that you've left I don't fit in myself.

0

Dec 29, 2020

Dec 29, 2020 at 1:31 PM UTC

stillhuman

Mannequin

It's harder for my lungs to open up to new air when you're here than when you're not After all your presence takes all the space I used to shape to fit my own self my own taste Instead you force me into a mold you've created Force my body to fit my mind to submit my patience to coexist with things I never wanted A life not made for me I'm just one of your mannequins to pass the time when people disappoint you life doesn't go your way your choices don't matter so that you can shape me into your own frustrations and smother my essence I'm just one of your mannequins and now that you've left I don't fit in myself.

29

I recognize my privilege. I recognize my uselessness. I recognize my inability to function. I recognize that I may not be capable/disabled physically. But I am emotionally and mentally. Though most of the voices are dimmed and quieter than before. They are not gone. I feel them at the back of my mind. Pressing at the barrier that is inforced by medication. My self-loathing is stronger than ever though. At every and one situation where I keep failing them. At every and one situation where I keep being a disappointment. At every and one situation where I am a disgrace to my mother's memory. I know I am garbage. I know I am worthless. I know I am privileged And Gods do I know I don't deserve anything I have. Maybe I am proving that ***** right. But the thing is. I didn't ask for this. For whatever broken thing that makes my DNA. I didn't ask for this existence. This life. I must have done something terrible in my past life to have been born so broken and in disrepair in this one. I want to throw up. I want to die. I don't want to be a part of this collective. I don't want to breath anymore. Let me drown. Let me break my body into pieces against hard asphalt. Let me suffocate in a car filled with gas. Let me hang from a tree in the most secluded part of the park. Let me drink the poisons under the sink. Let me starve myself until my heart gives. Let me burn underneath the hot sun until only the crows come to great me. Let me fall from the highest point of a cliff. Let me drink all the pills in the bottles to numb me to sleep. Let me slit my veins vertically across my arms. Let me puncture an artery so I may bleed out. Let me Let me Let me LEt mE LeT Me LET ME Let me breathe into the icy tundras of the north where my lungs will freeze and toes will turn blue. Let the bite of a most wondrous creature in the humid south taking me into fevered dreams. Let me bite the built so I swallow it whole and paint the walls, red, pink, grey, and wet. Cant, you just let me pass on and away? "No," says the instinct to self preserve the only thing that keeps me tied to this place.

0

May 25, 2019

May 25, 2019 at 12:30 AM UTC

VipJo19

Instinct

I recognize my privilege. I recognize my uselessness. I recognize my inability to function. I recognize that I may not be capable/disabled physically. But I am emotionally and mentally. Though most of the voices are dimmed and quieter than before. They are not gone. I feel them at the back of my mind. Pressing at the barrier that is inforced by medication. My self-loathing is stronger than ever though. At every and one situation where I keep failing them. At every and one situation where I keep being a disappointment. At every and one situation where I am a disgrace to my mother's memory. I know I am garbage. I know I am worthless. I know I am privileged And Gods do I know I don't deserve anything I have. Maybe I am proving that ***** right. But the thing is. I didn't ask for this. For whatever broken thing that makes my DNA. I didn't ask for this existence. This life. I must have done something terrible in my past life to have been born so broken and in disrepair in this one. I want to throw up. I want to die. I don't want to be a part of this collective. I don't want to breath anymore. Let me drown. Let me break my body into pieces against hard asphalt. Let me suffocate in a car filled with gas. Let me hang from a tree in the most secluded part of the park. Let me drink the poisons under the sink. Let me starve myself until my heart gives. Let me burn underneath the hot sun until only the crows come to great me. Let me fall from the highest point of a cliff. Let me drink all the pills in the bottles to numb me to sleep. Let me slit my veins vertically across my arms. Let me puncture an artery so I may bleed out. Let me Let me Let me LEt mE LeT Me LET ME Let me breathe into the icy tundras of the north where my lungs will freeze and toes will turn blue. Let the bite of a most wondrous creature in the humid south taking me into fevered dreams. Let me bite the built so I swallow it whole and paint the walls, red, pink, grey, and wet. Cant, you just let me pass on and away? "No," says the instinct to self preserve the only thing that keeps me tied to this place.

46

I don’t love you I love a reflection of you a version of you that appears to be you but is not you I don’t know you not anymore I knew you when you knew me when you cared to know me but that is not you

0

Apr 4, 2019

Apr 4, 2019 at 7:23 PM UTC

ahnafislam

Not You

I don’t love you I love a reflection of you a version of you that appears to be you but is not you I don’t know you not anymore I knew you when you knew me when you cared to know me but that is not you

11

I've never been good with words Each thought is from lyrics heard Losing myself in every piece Till they all become a part of me Or am I these things I've never written? Only ideas that stir from somewhere hidden Inside my own head, trapped, as my mouth works silently Trying to speak, violently I wonder what it's like to be somebody else How hard is it to think for one's self? I'm back at this familiar place Yet nothing ever feels the same Nothing ever feels the same Have I just become you? I've idolized everything you do Every syllable you sing, From the sound of your voice to your eyes shining. My obsession is me My obsession is me And I must say, It feels so good to be so lost.

0

Apr 16, 2018

Apr 16, 2018 at 8:39 PM UTC

littlestarwishes

Obsession

I've never been good with words Each thought is from lyrics heard Losing myself in every piece Till they all become a part of me Or am I these things I've never written? Only ideas that stir from somewhere hidden Inside my own head, trapped, as my mouth works silently Trying to speak, violently I wonder what it's like to be somebody else How hard is it to think for one's self? I'm back at this familiar place Yet nothing ever feels the same Nothing ever feels the same Have I just become you? I've idolized everything you do Every syllable you sing, From the sound of your voice to your eyes shining. My obsession is me My obsession is me And I must say, It feels so good to be so lost.

21

My love. My fervent darling from above. Submerged by your eyes that scream, with boiling passion, "I am not worth this." Whether you are, or not, your mind, being as fragile as it is invincible, is worthy of spawning a universe. Dazed, not by agony, but by the confusion itself, will not separate purity from the perilous journey we undergo. I beg to find anything other than an agonizing defeat. Searching endlessly, has become a necessity. Grant me eternity. I'm mesmerized by moments of you, unadorned. Seeing through fog, blemishes no part of the sky. I open my heart and get filled by another one that digs deep. Troubled and withdrawn, I am nothing but a whisper, "I love you." Pain is a facade for sanctity. Pain is a facade for sincerity. There is escape from suffering, but looking for it caused more. But now, I am at peace in a world of horror. Everything looks bright, so bright. I wish I could see through your eyes, just to feel, for one moment, how it feels to see the world through such beauty.

0

Jan 19, 2018

Jan 19, 2018 at 12:17 PM UTC

Jbizzle1996

Ha, you actually helped me!?

My love. My fervent darling from above. Submerged by your eyes that scream, with boiling passion, "I am not worth this." Whether you are, or not, your mind, being as fragile as it is invincible, is worthy of spawning a universe. Dazed, not by agony, but by the confusion itself, will not separate purity from the perilous journey we undergo. I beg to find anything other than an agonizing defeat. Searching endlessly, has become a necessity. Grant me eternity. I'm mesmerized by moments of you, unadorned. Seeing through fog, blemishes no part of the sky. I open my heart and get filled by another one that digs deep. Troubled and withdrawn, I am nothing but a whisper, "I love you." Pain is a facade for sanctity. Pain is a facade for sincerity. There is escape from suffering, but looking for it caused more. But now, I am at peace in a world of horror. Everything looks bright, so bright. I wish I could see through your eyes, just to feel, for one moment, how it feels to see the world through such beauty.

43

I turn people into gods, I'm upset when they have flaws.

0

Apr 20, 2016

Apr 20, 2016 at 6:41 PM UTC