#icant
We were special
late nights
falling asleep
on the phone
tone to tone
laughing
crying
cheek bones hurting
from all the smiling
planning
whispering
comfort
that was us
now there is silence
no good mornings
no sweet dreams
no thinking of you's
I sit here
dreaming
heart sullen
crusted tears
salty cheeks
red stained lips
wishing
thinking of you
missing you
trying so hard
to
just
say
no
Mar 6, 2021
Mar 6, 2021 at 11:16 PM UTC
Exhaustion tears through my heart
My mind stutters over thoughts
My lungs ache from breathing
And I’m itching for emptiness.
Feb 10, 2020
Feb 10, 2020 at 7:14 PM UTC
when you're driving
do you ever wonder about the layers
between you and that tree?
Feb 7, 2019
Feb 7, 2019 at 11:17 PM UTC
I’ve never broken down like that before
My feet went numb
My head was made of stone
My eyes were waves
My voice was crackling like rocks
My hair was draping
The floor was my bed
Your words were my antagonist
I couldn’t breath
I couldn’t believe
I was breaking
Dec 12, 2018
Dec 12, 2018 at 9:00 PM UTC
*While you offer me those
sweet words and lovely poems
I am writing the same for him
And while you whisper
“I miss you” to me
I silently say the same to him
Sorry but it’s true, I ain’t over him
So tighten your grip, don’t slip
I don’t want you to get broken just like me
And as much as I hate saying this
It’s not you, it’s me
It’s always me, always me
And I can't accept anything you will give
Because I can't give what I do not have
-my heart, because sadly, he still owns it*
Sep 24, 2017
Sep 24, 2017 at 4:14 AM UTC
body...
it hurts
and I can't do it anymore.
But its okay... just sometimes,
No. I can't.
"Can't what!!?"_ you shriek
Everything:
Its painful to get dressed,
coming out from the curled, soft, blankets
it hurts
my head, eyes, and body
I can't explain why or how.
I can't explain my self
not anymore.
I can't be fake
anymore
talking **** all the time.
I can't hide these feelings.
I'm scared.
not knowing where I am
blinded of where I'm going,
doing my best to cover all this chaotic mess
with a smile,
the smile everyone exclaims they love so dearly.
A smile just to get me out the door and through the day.
And Why
And How
!!!
How do these **** Lovely Beings see all this good,
all this beauty, hope and fragile kindness..
all this peace and passion.
How..!
can they see all this, behind that smile..
Telling me these sweet gentle words,
words I truly try to believe in!
words I forget to believe in
words that I find so hard to see,
all these wonders
people talk of.
I get so lost in myself,
trying to find these wonderful sweet words
of calm seas, and humble peace
those words,
people exclaim to me.
But its Hard
and most days..
I just can't.
So I'm sorry if I get down and all shades of blue,
of lost
and scared.
But these horrible words:
'I can't'
Have Haunted me since forever.
those terrible two
words..
spinning around in my miserable, lost, mind.
Causing my body to hurt so
with all these sleepless nights.
But its Okay!
No worries
its Just...
at times it hurts so
that I look in the mirror and see
lost, tired, scared, sad, eyes
staring so freighted back at me.
Asking why, I could possibly hurt so..
But for now.
Sorry, my lovelies
that I hurt so
Maybe someday,
I will truly believe in calm seas and shining peace
with radiant skin
shinning with blinding passion.
Jan 2, 2016
Jan 2, 2016 at 11:36 PM UTC
Some People Are hated ,
alienated,
don't know what to do
don't know why others treat them that way
don't know how to treat themselves
the only words they can think...
I Can't,
the word they believe
in their mind,
in their heart
don't stop before you start
don't say you can't before you begin
because that way you'll never win
At The Game Of Life,
now give me the knife you stabbed me in the back with...
I'll cut the interlocking vines in the way of my path
more complicated but also more simple than grade 10 math
let your story unfold
take a different road
Twisting and winding
Have your story be told;
your memories shared
act and pretend
that all your superficial friends cared
but at the end of the day, did they.
Mine Did
in a world where quantity over quality existed,
especially with friends
I won not with quantity but with quality
I favored it
it had a different taste,
a different flavour
Not bitter but sweet
in a bitter-sweet world
but I can't choose one over the other
because you have your hardships
you have your happiness
and often they can be mixed together;
in a cocktail of heartbreak and new love
and the Idea you can always begin again,
or start where you left of.
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 9:04 PM UTC
I want to write my emotions down in this poem,
But if I put my emotions into words
The screen would burst into flames
And I would burst into tears
I'm just so broken right now, and I just want to be happy. Why can't I just be happy
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 12:26 AM UTC
I can stop myself from texting him
That's a start
But if I don't want to think about him
Well...
That's a whole lot harder
But I can't listen to love songs
Or sad love songs
Or sad songs
Or angry songs
Or Ed Sheeran because he loves his music
Or the song Riptide by Vance Joy because he loves that song too
This music reminds me too much of him
I can't use the word lovely
Because that was my favorite word he used to call me
And he knew it, so he used it all the time
I can't even wear dresses and skirts anymore because he always liked girls wearing dresses and skirts
I can't read John Green because he actually liked his writing style
And I can't read ANY quotes from Neil Gaiman because he loved his writing
He of course, had to be a writer and a poet so it's hard to read love poetry without his name creeping into mind
I hate how I can't even finish the novel I was writing because I included some events based off of some of my favorite moments between us
I can't look at pictures of England because he really wanted to live in England one day
I can't look his exgirlfriend who he still cares for who goes to my school in the eye because just like he always did I will always compare myself to her and I can never measure up to even close to what she is
I can't text the words "haha" because he used that instead of lol all the time
I can't even talk about him to someone without feeling pathetic
He just wrecked everything
He ruined my favorite outfits, music, music artists, writing, books, countries, and even my novels that I had ideas I was just so excited for.
I just can't get him out of my mind
And the truth is
I don't like him anymore
I really don't
but I do miss him
and I admit that
I don't want to
but honestly, I do
So it is just easier... to forget
Although with all the things that lead me back to him
It's proving not to be easier
and I kind of don't want to forget
because he was the closest I ever came
To really liking a guy
Who liked me back
and just like the tense he used when he said goodbye to me
I say liked
not like.
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 4:40 PM UTC
I cursed every tear that dripped from my blue forsaken eyes, rolled down my cheeks, to rest at my lips, the ones that never got to call you dad.
Dec 18, 2014
Dec 18, 2014 at 9:20 PM UTC
i can't
when the day was over me
i can't
the life is not what i want
i can't
when the sun rises over me
i can't
i just wanna to breathe
incoming air as born
outgoing air as i die
i record my life
i will never great person
somebody know
but may not know everybody
just a little time of my life
i wanna help to the poor
i wanna to live for others..
let me try
Sep 12, 2014
Sep 12, 2014 at 6:27 AM UTC