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#iamterrible
Hey God... I have a confession. I am not a good person. I know it isn't original, and I know you've heard this too many times from too many broken people. But it's the only shred of honesty I can give so please accept it... Because I do not know how to forgive myself for this tower of lies I built over the last month and a half. I am not a good friend. I try... And you know I try. But I haven't been trying as hard as I used to. But I want to try and make things right. I have convinced myself that heaven seems too high up for me to get to. And I'm here asking you to tell me there is still a chance for me to be saved from my life. I went to church today for the first time in months. I saw old friends, and read new verses... I learned more. Although I still feel like an outcast in this place we call "safe". I can't feel your presence near me even when I pray. It's like I've cut the communication lines and there is no repairing them. I am willing to work for my life. I will build houses of faith and sing praises until I drop, but it won't be enough. I work well under pressure. So if you told me that getting to heaven was as simple as building a ladder as high as I could in 24 hours, I would work through war and hellfire to get there. I would climb every rung until the ladder ended above the clouds and started feeling like the solid foundation of a life restarted. I can only hope you will accept me with open arms, forgiveness... And a "hello."
0
Mar 20, 2017
Mar 20, 2017 at 1:03 AM UTC
Swingline
Heaven Ladder (Or However I Can Get There)
Hey God... I have a confession. I am not a good person. I know it isn't original, and I know you've heard this too many times from too many broken people. But it's the only shred of honesty I can give so please accept it... Because I do not know how to forgive myself for this tower of lies I built over the last month and a half. I am not a good friend. I try... And you know I try. But I haven't been trying as hard as I used to. But I want to try and make things right. I have convinced myself that heaven seems too high up for me to get to. And I'm here asking you to tell me there is still a chance for me to be saved from my life. I went to church today for the first time in months. I saw old friends, and read new verses... I learned more. Although I still feel like an outcast in this place we call "safe". I can't feel your presence near me even when I pray. It's like I've cut the communication lines and there is no repairing them. I am willing to work for my life. I will build houses of faith and sing praises until I drop, but it won't be enough. I work well under pressure. So if you told me that getting to heaven was as simple as building a ladder as high as I could in 24 hours, I would work through war and hellfire to get there. I would climb every rung until the ladder ended above the clouds and started feeling like the solid foundation of a life restarted. I can only hope you will accept me with open arms, forgiveness... And a "hello."
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