#hypochondriac
Thirteen-year-old girls
were probably supposed to be worrying about crushes
and bad haircuts
and whether their friends secretly hate them.
Instead
some of us lie awake at night
checking if our heartbeat feels “normal.”
Some of us know too much
about diseases, disasters, grief, psychology, endings.
Too much about how cruel people can be.
Too much about the world in general.
The internet poured adulthood directly into our brains
before we even finished becoming children.
And now we are tired in strange ways.
Not sleepy.
Soul tired.
The kind where your chest hurts
from carrying invisible thoughts around all day
while still turning homework in on time.
The kind where you feel older than your classmates
but younger than your problems.
And nobody notices
because you still laugh at jokes sometimes.
You still brush your hair.
You still say “I’m okay” automatically
like your mouth learned it separately from your heart.
Some nights
you cry because you’re scared of dying.
Other nights
you cry because you’re scared
this is just what being alive feels like forever.
And the terrible part is
you already know you sound dramatic.
You criticize yourself before anyone else can.
You roll your own eyes at your own pain.
A tiny cynical narrator living in your head saying:
calm down.
other people have real problems.
you’re embarrassing.
But thirteen-year-old girls
should not have to earn the right to suffer.
Pain is pain
even when it’s quiet.
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 1:40 PM UTC
I try swimming in the deep end
Y
Am I kidding
When I can barely crawl?
Aim high to feel low
Shoot for the stars; I'm somewhat moronic
hypochondriac psychotic asthmatic
Can you tell by the scars I've drawn on
And my masochistic vehicle?
Got a list of what I'm tryna do
Tryna reach my goals;
An exaggeration of my fragmented mind
onethingtwothingthreebacktoonethingbecauseIcantforgetonething
My perilous thoughts.
No concentration makes for just conversation
In that I lose myself
Mar 1
Mar 1, 2026 at 2:11 PM UTC
every headache is cancer
every heartburn is a heart attack
every bug bite is poisonous
every thought is a boulder
every thought is a gong
every thought is a hundred
every breath is my last
every sleep isn't enough
every ache is never ending
every touch feels like more
all my pain is never ending
I can't take it anymore
Jul 19, 2019
Jul 19, 2019 at 2:38 AM UTC
I'm unassured with the words I think,
slipping, skipping days, I sink.
I lost my mind in my head's black,
and died in the depth trying to get it back.
Maybe I'm a resented presence;
pressed upon malnourished intentions.
I can't find the point anymore;
I can't brim the dark anymore,
and if I submerge below my purpose,
what am I even fighting for?
--------------------------------------
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 12:24 AM UTC
Kaliedoscope colors, shaped as a rectangle outline of my door-
and I can't go out and see the beauty of it. A gray room,
with a blue face, laced into rushing in another pumping day.
Provoke the guilt, wilted meaning every breathing being has.
I'll leave someday, in someway, maybe not this moon fall,
but I know I can't live, thoroughly at all-
Jan 16, 2018
Jan 16, 2018 at 1:20 AM UTC
Health anxiety.
You google one thing and it says another.
You have a headache and it says its cancer.
Countless trips to your family doctor.
The test was negative, you will recover.
Everything is fine but you’re feeling awkward.
Maybe everything IS fine, perhaps you’re like an actor.
Acting out the symptoms you should get an oscar.
Sue me for feeling like somethings not right, get me a lawyer.
To everyone around me, i’m like a destroyer.
I need to rebuild my life from being an over reactor.
Theres a fine line between normal worry and anxiety.
Theres a fine line between being labelled from society.
Theres a fine line between being sick and being healthy.
But even those who are wealthy are not protected from being unhealthy.
And thats where this fear has developed.
Knowing the highest of classes still are not protected.
CEO’s can get cancer.
The president can get Alzheimer's.
Investors can get tumors.
Is it really so peculiar that I fear that this will occur.
Occur in me? Effect my family? Increase mortality?
Maybe i’m not a clinical case of a hypochondriac, but I feel that sometimes I can be.
Maybe i’m not a maniac, but I know I over worry.
These thoughts don’t keep me up at night, but when I’m sick I always think...
What if its this, what if its that, what if this thing can **** me.
But I guess thats just normal anxiety.
Evolutionary instinct.
Our human kind won’t go extinct.
I don’t need to talk this out with a shrink.
So this cold is lasting more than a few days, maybe i’ll just go to a doctor.
Stop fearing that this is the end, see someone and you’ll feel better.
You can get sick from being stressed, or even change from weather.
Its not strange if you catch a cold, no need to worry it won’t last forever.
When you feel like the doctor is wrong, please try to remember.
A runny nose isn’t cancer, forgetting to check the mail isn't alzheimers, and a headache isn’t a tumor.
Those are all just internet rumours.
Google isn’t your doctor.
Worrying isn’t hypochondria, no need to add that to your self diagnoses list.
While disease is a real thing, worrying is the real *****
Feb 14, 2016
Feb 14, 2016 at 3:33 PM UTC
Living a hypochondriacs dream,
Because my pain is one that is real.
Everyone says I'm fine,
But I know my own body because my body is mine,
Life developing as a double exposure,
In two places at once and contained in a tight enclosure,
Here I am with no sense of closure,
I will dream of running away,
Throwing my possessions away,
Put my worry to rest,
Before I am the one put to rest.
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 9:54 AM UTC
My skin is warm
My bones are achey
Wrapped in blankets
Yet I'm still shaking
My head is pounding
My throat is sore
As I lie here ailing
My body's at war
My nose is running
Where to, I'm not sure
As I scour the internet
To find a quick cure
My vision is hazy
As I scroll through my options
Should I really trust random
Internet users' concoctions?
The coughing has started
I've just held back a sneeze
I've got to do something
Before I'm riddled with disease
I'll mix these ingredients
Then down them without attest
If this doesn't work out
At least I tried my best
Jan 21, 2016
Jan 21, 2016 at 7:10 PM UTC
It starts with a pin pick of blood
Stomach tightens and
You don't feel so good
The body begins to ache
Lungs start to hyperventilate
Though you try to manually regulate
The heart pounds and races
You clench your hands
Finding cuts in different places
Overwhelming pain sets in
Setting fire to the nerves
To repent for your sins
The limbs are lame and heavy
Broken pulls and levels
Effort makes you hot and sweaty
While life slips away
The mind will mistake
The remaining minutes for days.
Sep 30, 2014
Sep 30, 2014 at 9:43 AM UTC