#hydroxyzine
You wanted me to “feel better”
I do feel better
After popping a few pills
It’s not Xanax, but it’ll do
I feel it slowing me down...
My eyelids grow heavy......
Why am I always wondering
What’s my limit?
What happens if I take a few more....?
I know... I know I just want to abuse something
And if it’s myself, even better
Mar 19, 2020
Mar 19, 2020 at 2:56 AM UTC
I feel alone
I feel desperate
I feel destructive
20mg hydroxyzine later
I feel tired
I feel calm
I feel drugged
I don’t want to be like this
Seeking relief every waking moment
Begging for the pain to cease
Pull solutions out of a hat
_
take pills
**********
drink scream
slice your wrist
a few more pills
bother your friends
sleep it off
cry write
plan your death
try to ignore it
_
And know
That though this mood will pass
The illness never will
It will always stalk me
It will always come to torture me
It will always be waiting
To destroy me
Jan 6, 2020
Jan 6, 2020 at 11:34 PM UTC
What's the point in leaving if I wasn't even there in the first place
I don't like loud spaces, I don't like feeling like I can't look someone in they eye because I know that they will judge me and talk about me as if I'm not present
Strangers touch me and I feel like I've been stripped down to my skeleton
They make a joke because they saw me staring into space
They knew I was present
They knew I wasn't even there
What's the point in leaving if I wasn't even there in the first place
-E (c) 2017
Feb 26, 2017
Feb 26, 2017 at 12:25 AM UTC
They've given me a new drug that helps me sleep
Because I only got a couple hours this week
My best friend says I shouldn't rely on the dope but
Truly it's the only thing that gives me hope
And I'm sorry if I look like I've been falling apart
But last night I got too drunk at my old boyfriends apartment
And we only broke up cause he's an *******
And I can't take constant annoying harassment
To be honest I'd rather be on my own
By they say a home alone isn't a ******* home
-E (c) 2017
Feb 26, 2017
Feb 26, 2017 at 12:14 AM UTC