#humboldt
Trapped in a mindset of fantasy
Cradling beliefs with no foundation in reality.
Alone in a mind of oil
Staining all who brave my touch
Familiar faces soaked in anxiety
They stare with memories I long to forget
These glossy eyes that fear closing... moving.... shifting.... seeing...
Worlds will fall
Perceptions will alter
These words are caught in my throat
Festering
How do I say hello?
How do I keep the conversation going? Are they staring at me because they know I'm not normal. Can they see my disfigured soul hiding beneath this skin?
This deformed skin....
Do they notice that I am an imposter?
Do they see how I react alien to how they do? How I second guess each expression.
Words fall from my eyes without allowance.
The connection isn't there.
I Stare down
I drown them with every glance.
Words falling.
Flooding.
Making oceans of unspoken phrases.
Needs.
They breathe me in.
All the words I've never spoken.
They drown in my illusions.
And run away like mad men.
To a world I cant seem to be a part of.
Trapped in a mindset of fantasy
Oil drowns me, and dilutes my words.
Taking away who I am.
My words are my life.
But I cannot speak them.
No one will ever know.
And I will never tell them.
I am Drowning in illness.
__________________________
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 11:56 AM UTC
White water meets white sky.
No escape from this fog bubble we call paradise.
Eyes blinded by white blankets of smoke.
We wonder what is beyond.
A white canvas to project one's desires of a far-off dream.
Thinking...
Anything is better than this, right?
Sep 26, 2018
Sep 26, 2018 at 8:19 PM UTC
The trees you once told me to follow home...
They're gone.
You told me to burn them to my memory so that I would always be able to find my way home.
Now I'm lost, Mama.
Places of only memory now.
Outside the gate.
Stuck on the wrong side.
Nothing feels right.
Giants that once stood so tall and guarding.
Cut down as if they had never been.
Mama, I can't find my way home.
The trees are gone.
Oct 3, 2018
Oct 3, 2018 at 6:38 PM UTC